erectile dysfunction and trying to conceive

[mamasee]

Hi,

My husband and I are TTC and our biggest challenge right now is erectile dysfunction.  I have been charting carefully so we can time intercourse strategically and then, "no go" on his part.  It is so frustrating for both of us.  He is going to see his doctor and talk about Viagra or?  Anyone else have this challenge and, if so, what did you do?

Thanks.

[HappyHappyMommy]

I'm bumping up your post for attention. Anyone have experience to share? Wishing you and your DH well on your TTC journey!
 

[MyKidKissTrees]

I wish I could help.  Im not sure about ED.  But I have just read about Maca root helping with sexual dysfuction in men :))  I hope it will help your hubby and he wont have to resort to a prescription!

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18801111

[Starfish11]

I wish I had personal experience feedback for you.  Has ED always been a part of your relationship or is it new since you all have decided to make a baby? 
 

[Honeybee3]

This is a late reply to you, but since we had the same experience, i thought i should chime in. After a year of calendaring intercourse, and many times not having it, we ultimately went to fertility treatments. Meaning, we pursued IVF, successfully. The year long struggle and ED though has really driven a rift between my husband and myself, because I believe that there is some ing psychological behind it, that is not addressed by Viagra or other ED treatments. Best of luck to you.

[studentDr]

I can understand how it must be difficult for you

this is quite a common thing . as a doctor i have councelled s number of guys regarding it.

it's performance anxiety. guys like sex to come naturally like in the wild. you are putting too much pressure on him to "perform" by making it regimental. guys are every effected by psychological things. remember how they become so very very upset if you mention the word small.

try making love making more naturally. . . stop with the timing or at least don't tell him about it. make it fun for him. make it a conquest so he gets turned on.

remember that being a family is important so you want to stay together in a positive relationship. guys are different to girls. I didn't know this until I entered medicine and actually talked to guys about it. sadly they really are wild creatures when it comes to sex. he is probably too scared to tell you that the regimentality freaks him out, it isn't natural.

I've actually had guys tell me this, they end up cheating or getting divorced.

it's not a physical issue with his penis, it's a psychological issue with you making it regimental

using IVF would make a guy think that he is not " a MAN ". that he (his penis ) wasn't good enough to perform the job. for a guy making kids naturally is a symbol of him being a man. it is very very very important to him psychologically. even if he doesn't say it.

I hope this helps. I'm not criticising I'm just trying to help
Edited by studentDr - 12/7/12 at 6:18pm

[BK Mommy]

Thank you OP for putting this out there. I wish I had an answer. We experienced this years before we had our LO and still haven't cracked it. It is definitely rooted in anxiety. I wish I knew what would could ease it up (pardon the pun) and just relax him so he can let it go and enjoy things. You are not alone.

[DHinJersey]

Originally Posted by mamasee 

Hi,

My husband and I are TTC and our biggest challenge right now is erectile dysfunction.  I have been charting carefully so we can time intercourse strategically and then, "no go" on his part.  It is so frustrating for both of us.  He is going to see his doctor and talk about Viagra or?  Anyone else have this challenge and, if so, what did you do?

Thanks.

First, it could simply be a matter of stage fright related to timing issues. It's certainly possible. But does he have a history of ED outside of the confines of timed intercourse? Viagra might be helpful, but I would have him ask about cialis, which, in my opinion, is a far more flexible drug (last for a couple of days) and just as effective. Both are expensive because they are rarely covered by insurance, but he should be able to get some free samples. Have him ask about the 5 mg Cialis for every day use. It is a low dose version of the drug. He doesn't actually have to take it every day, but it is far less expensive than the larger doses.  Many men often find they don't need it anymore once they get over the psychological hangups holding them back.