Anybody here planning a homebirth? - Page 9 « Back to Group Discussions

[amlikam]

Actually that is standard practice around here. But it might also be why you can get a well trained doula for $300-750 depending on the time of year. I have no issues with that because I know as a doula home much time we really invest in the labor and the time at the birth is small in comparison. However I haven't attended a homebirth before because I do such a good job convincing women in the power I their body and homebirth. Most I my births are with OB's and hospitals, sooooo that is is different. I spend a lot of time on call before and after the birth answering questions or doing home visits. I think because active labor is usually under 24 hours I have yet to meet a mom who needed me longer.

[Loogiejane]

Originally Posted by amlikam 

Actually that is standard practice around here. But it might also be why you can get a well trained doula for $300-750 depending on the time of year. I have no issues with that because I know as a doula home much time we really invest in the labor and the time at the birth is small in comparison. However I haven't attended a homebirth before because I do such a good job convincing women in the power I their body and homebirth. Most I my births are with OB's and hospitals, sooooo that is is different. I spend a lot of time on call before and after the birth answering questions or doing home visits. I think because active labor is usually under 24 hours I have yet to meet a mom who needed me longer.

Gotchya. Yeah well this one doula sat with us in our home last week for at least an hour chatting about everything, telling us what her fee includes, etc so I feel she would have mentioned the "over 24 hours charge". 

So she comes for a visit at 32 and I think 36 (or 37 or 38, dont remember) weeks plus a prenatal visit with my MW. Then she comes for one or two days postpartum. DH and I are also thinking it would be nice to ask her over for dinner sometime before the birth or out for a drink or something. 

[lisathena]

We are planning our 2nd hb, 2nd waterbirth. I cannot wait! We have a MW that is traveling to us. So i am trying to be prepared in case she doesnt make it. I will also have a friend who is training to be a MW and is currently a L&D nurse here as my doula. And then i actually worked out a deal w/ a pro photographer to do pics! I am so very exctied. The pics are SO important to me :)

I expect it to go quick, last labor was 2 1/2 hrs to hmm something is going on until ITS A BOY! and that was at the birth center so idk how quick it will be this time. I am excited :)

[Miss Ess]

So after talking to our MW this week, it looks like we will be planning a home birth after all. Assuming I make it to 37 weeks, we're a go, which is wonderful news.

So excited about this new possibility but feeling a little overwhelmed with all the logistics.

[pastormama]

Originally Posted by Miss Ess 

So after talking to our MW this week, it looks like we will be planning a home birth after all. Assuming I make it to 37 weeks, we're a go, which is wonderful news.

So excited about this new possibility but feeling a little overwhelmed with all the logistics.

That's great Miss Ess!  What changed when you talked to your midwife, to make it possible?

[Miss Ess]

Our primary MW has been away on sabbatical until recently (she delivered our first), so I have seen several other MWs in the practice. I feel like they were all just operating under the assumption that I'd go preterm again, and so had ruled out home birth as an option.

We had a great, speedy hospital birth last time with zero complications beyond the PPROM and there was no known cause for the PPROM, so assuming I make it to term there is no reasonable reason why a home birth shouldn't be possible. This was my feeling all along, so it's nice to know someone finally agrees with this LOL.

[cadybh]

Originally Posted by Loogiejane 

Does anyone have good data/stats/something tangible for me to read about infant mortality rates at homebirths vs. hospital births?

My mother just got very annoying with me on the phone just now about it. She is very much someone who will believe anything a Dr. says without question. AND, my sister has had 2 homebirths and I'm planning my first yet my mother is still being....I don't know, all I can say is "annoying", cuz she's my mom and while I love her, it's the only word I can find to describe how she just was on the phone. While she likes to think she can be open-minded, she is also very much not into going against the grain and views my sister and I as sometimes being "difficult" because we're so particular about certain things. She would like it much better if we just went the conventional route with everything and didn't have a desire to be different from conventional ways of thinking. 

In a high pitched voice "oh, so I was talking with this pediatrician at a function the other night...not an OB, but a pediatrician, and he said how he has proven evidence that infant mortality rates are MUCH higher at homebirths." And that's all she said. No follow up. No words of support to me. GRRRR what is the point of her throwing that at me!? So I said "Oh, well that's absolutely wrong...if you look at the stats it's completely wrong. Not only is the infant mortality death rate higher in hospitals so is maternal" and she said "oh well I wasn't going to question what he said, he said he had proof and Im sure he wasnt making it up, he's a Dr." was essentially what she said. So I'm like "what, so you were telling him how your daughters are all into homebirth and he responded with something like 'ohhh...homebirth is VERY dangerous" and she said "yup!" and im like "ok, well that person is clearly very uneducated" to which she responded again that she wasnt going to question a Doctor. ARRHRHRHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGGHHGHGH

soo........anyone have anything in print they can show me? I realize I could search myself but I figured this was the easier route for the moment. 

UGH.  I sympathize but have no answers, other than continue recommending literature and videos, etc.  I don't know if it'd help though if she's stubborn :)

This is pretty much why we aren't telling our parents.  They tried to talk me out of vegetarianism for weeks because it "isn't possible to get all required amino acids from non-meat sources," etc. My father even sent us articles about how "shushing" is dangerous for infants after we adopted the Happiest Baby moves with our first.  My mother-in-law, a public health nurse, didn't think it was safe for me to run while pregnant until I provided proof otherwise.  I can just IMAGINE their ideas about home birth.

[cadybh]

Originally Posted by FarmerMomma 

I'm excited to know that the birth will be at my home instead of boyfriend's. So nice to be able to visualize that part and just know where. I'm also more aware of plan b around here. With a late may, early June birth I was thinking of maybe having a cheap kiddy pool outside as well as inside. Anyone else thinking outdoors?

You know, I was thinking about it, but I don't think I can.  We have a fairly private yard but it's not fully private, though, and I'm sure I'll be kind of loud and kind of or wholly naked, so I am not sure it'll work.  But GOOD LUCK, I personally love the idea!

[cadybh]

Originally Posted by berrymama 

In the spirit of preparing my boys (2.5 and almost 5 yrs) for the birth (a long way off, I know), we showed them a couple waterbirth videos from youtube the other night. My DH just informed me that while I was working tonight, they were 'having waterbirths' during their bath time tonight. They would yell, "The baby is coming!" then look in their belly buttons to see it some out. So maybe they missed some key points :) but I still think it is pretty darn cute. I love that my children will grow up thinking birth is a normal and natural life event.

Just love this story!  That is adorable!  I can't wait to see how my 3 yo reacts to videos.  I haven't started showing them but need to soon so he has time to process the concepts.

[berrymama]

My 5 yo has been talking a lot about the upcoming birth. He has also been drawing pictures of me with a baby in my tummy, and making little books at school where I get bigger and bigger and then get into the bathtub and have the baby. I am sure the teachers find those particularly amusing.

I contacted an acquaintance/professional newborn photographer this week about being at the birth and she is really excited about it. I really hope my labor is longer than 45 minutes this time, so she actually has time to get here and photograph some labor. The bonus is that she lives super close (<5 minutes away) and used to be a homebirth midwife, so I know she will be respectful of the labor/birth environment and if this baby arrives before our actual midwife like our last babe did, we will at least have somebody here (hopefully!) who knows what is going on.

[Loogiejane]

Originally Posted by cadybh 

UGH.  I sympathize but have no answers, other than continue recommending literature and videos, etc.  I don't know if it'd help though if she's stubborn :)

This is pretty much why we aren't telling our parents.  They tried to talk me out of vegetarianism for weeks because it "isn't possible to get all required amino acids from non-meat sources," etc. My father even sent us articles about how "shushing" is dangerous for infants after we adopted the Happiest Baby moves with our first.  My mother-in-law, a public health nurse, didn't think it was safe for me to run while pregnant until I provided proof otherwise.  I can just IMAGINE their ideas about home birth.

Oh and this is her saying to me AFTER my older sister has already gone through the whole homebirth thing! My mother's been through the info ringer with my sis already. I complained to my sister and asked her to please say something to my mother, which she did and I'm thankful for it. She said something like "mother, why would you bring that up with her, didn't I provide you with tons of information with my homebirths?" and she replied "oh, well....I am just sharing good information...it is good to be informed" and my sis said "well on top it, thats so not nice to be mentioning infant mortality rate especially to a first time mom!" and my mom just politely defended herself, really thinking she was passing along good info. THIS ladies and gentlemen is an example of when he think my mother has poor judgement. Which she claims she does not. 

[cadybh]

Originally Posted by Loogiejane 

Oh and this is her saying to me AFTER my older sister has already gone through the whole homebirth thing! My mother's been through the info ringer with my sis already. I complained to my sister and asked her to please say something to my mother, which she did and I'm thankful for it. She said something like "mother, why would you bring that up with her, didn't I provide you with tons of information with my homebirths?" and she replied "oh, well....I am just sharing good information...it is good to be informed" and my sis said "well on top it, thats so not nice to be mentioning infant mortality rate especially to a first time mom!" and my mom just politely defended herself, really thinking she was passing along good info. THIS ladies and gentlemen is an example of when he think my mother has poor judgement. Which she claims she does not. 

Kudos to your sister for trying to talk some sense into her!  Have you given up discussing the details of the birth with her, basically?  It seems like she can't meet you halfway on this, at least right now.  :/

[Loogiejane]

Originally Posted by cadybh 

Kudos to your sister for trying to talk some sense into her!  Have you given up discussing the details of the birth with her, basically?  It seems like she can't meet you halfway on this, at least right now.  :/

Yeah, essentially just not giving her details anymore. Because honestly? I don't think she cares! My mom and sis and I are very close, but my mom's attention span gets lost with too many details and she stops listening after a certain point. As close as we all are, I know she doesnt love how my sis and I tend to go the unconventional route with many things (birth, food, lifestyle in general). My mom isnt an outside of the box thinker. If I ever mention anything birth related to her "oh, we found a great doula" or anything it's just "mm hmm...ok, good!", like sort of talking to a brick wall. She just doesn't really always have something to say. It's like, if she can't relate to it, she can't even converse about it. She can try to listen but she can't have a normal conversation about it. No "oh, that's so interesting, that's so different from what I know. Tell me about it". 

I feel so thankful for having my sis. I know I can call her whenever I want and talk talk talk about homebirth, babies, nursing, whatever, and she will listen and give feedback. Yea, I'm just going to not say anything to my mom anymore because it's always  dead conversation, unfortunately. 

[nstewart]

Originally Posted by Loogiejane 

Yeah, essentially just not giving her details anymore. Because honestly? I don't think she cares! My mom and sis and I are very close, but my mom's attention span gets lost with too many details and she stops listening after a certain point. As close as we all are, I know she doesnt love how my sis and I tend to go the unconventional route with many things (birth, food, lifestyle in general). My mom isnt an outside of the box thinker. If I ever mention anything birth related to her "oh, we found a great doula" or anything it's just "mm hmm...ok, good!", like sort of talking to a brick wall. She just doesn't really always have something to say. It's like, if she can't relate to it, she can't even converse about it. She can try to listen but she can't have a normal conversation about it. No "oh, that's so interesting, that's so different from what I know. Tell me about it". 

I feel so thankful for having my sis. I know I can call her whenever I want and talk talk talk about homebirth, babies, nursing, whatever, and she will listen and give feedback. Yea, I'm just going to not say anything to my mom anymore because it's always  dead conversation, unfortunately. 

Unfortunetly, I can totally relate to this.  My mom is super well meaning, but not really interested in a "conversation".  If I disagree with her opinion, it's an argument, not a conversation.

I will give her cuddos though for eventually coming around on stuff after the fact, at least.  When I told her I was doing EC with DS, the first words out of her mouth were "Well, that's stupid".  Two weeks later, after seeing DS "in action" she was telling the world about how her 3 month old grandson was "potty trained".  This annoyed the heck out of me for other reasons (because EC is NOT potty training, it's about communication, as I explained to her on numerous occassions, and because DS was NOT potty trained at 3 mos of age just because he used the toilet instead of his dipe most of the time) but at least she no longer thought it was "stupid".

[alaskanmomma]

I'm planning on my first homebirth with this baby :) 

My only concern is our landlord(DH's step-mom) doesn't know. She was ok about me having a birth center birth with my son, but not exactly sure how she'd feel about a home birth, and quite frankly, I don't think it's her business. DH told his mom who has a big mouth, and since DH's dad and step-mom are coming up in April, I'm scared if they come before baby, like in time for DS' birthday party, my MIL will mention something. It's not against our lease to have a home birth(because who can really stop you/who would add that in) nor is water furniture, but I don't want to hear I can't(even if I legally can). I told DH to tell his mom to keep her mouth shut, so lets hope she listens. 

[PhilsBabyMama]

That stinks. At the end of the day his stepmom doesn't have a say in it, regardless of whether or not she's leasing you the house. Not fun to have to worry about confrontation, though.

[alaskanmomma]

 I know legally she has no say, but I can see DH being really unsupportive and just distant if she's says no or voices any negative opinions on it. We live in a condo above some crappy neighbors, and I really think that would be her only hesitation, but still, there's nothing saying we can't, even the separate condo association rules have nothing against it or against anything needed in a home birth situation being in the condos. We had the same hesitations since our neighbors are such jerks, but at the end of the day, my birth plan isn't going to change over them lol. I think just keeping it on the DL would be best for all, after the fact, she can know if it comes up(what would she do then? Force the baby back up and tell me to go somewhere else lol?), but before then, yeah.. just prefer they don't find out, I assume she thinks we're going to the birth center again. 

I'm trying to come up with a way to voice my opinion on me thinking it would be best if they waited to make their travel plans after baby anyways, I can go anytime between April 1st-May 5th without inductions, and would love for them to meet the baby instead of having to leave sometime in that time frame with no baby in site lol. 

[Loogiejane]

Originally Posted by PhilsBabyMama 

That stinks. At the end of the day his stepmom doesn't have a say in it, regardless of whether or not she's leasing you the house. Not fun to have to worry about confrontation, though.

[pastormama]

So, bumping this thread up to see how all the home birth plans are coming. I've started to have some anxiety about risking out for various reasons. None of them have materialized and all is well. I think I just got used to some over management from my hospital cnms last time so I'm feeling a bit adrift now? How is everyone else doing?

[BeagleMommy]

We're chugging right along, but this will be homebirth #3, so I'm not stressing. I'm just trying to take care of me and the little one. We are in the final stretch!