Anybody here planning a homebirth? - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[moriahmoonstar]

Originally Posted by adventuregirl 

Cady, you mentioned prepping DS. I am planning to have my DD at the birth and would love any resources that focus on that. Has anyone here had a DC at a previous birth? Planning to have one (or more) at this one? I had a loooong labor last time (30 hrs active) so definitely want to have plans with the neighbors for DD to be able to slip over there at any time. I also want her to have a good understanding of things so she doesn't get afraid or needy for me.

I simply can't WAIT to tell DD and start talking about the baby and birth and all that, but we are waiting... she would tell EVERYONE she encountered and I'm just not down with that right now. Just a few more weeks...

We chose a midwife and have our first appt next week, I am excited, interacting with the mw's make it so much more real!

"Welcome with Love "by Jenni Overendis a great childrens book on homebirth meant to prepare a sibling for what will happen. My friend is using it to prepare her 2 year old son.

[nstewart]

Thanks for the suggested resources ladies.  I will be looking for these at the library this week!

Moriah, you will be able to answer lots of questions in this DDC I'm sure! 

I am also curious and torn about having DS at home for the birth (if we decide for sure on a homebirth).  He will be just shy of three. I am worried that he'll be worried about me, and confused about what is going on.  I am worried that I will find myself focused on him and not on what I need to do (same reason I didn't want my mom at the hospital when DS was born and why I don't want her at the birth for this DC.  I will end up focused on not worrying her instead of just making the noises I need to make and doing what I need to do).  But I do love the idea of him sharing such a fundamental experience. How young is too young? 

Also, mamas, do you think I should have a doula this time 'round?  I am having a midwife this time, not a doctor.  Also, I had a pretty quick and easy labour with DS (maybe 6 hours active labour, 10 hours from first contraction to holding DS in my arms) so I suspect the same to happen this time (if not faster).  I really liked our Doula last time, but she lives over an hour away so I'm worried that by the time we call her when I'm in active labour and she gets to our house or the hospital I'll be most of the way through!  Or maybe I should just try to find another doula (which feels like cheating on our previous doula).

Another question....have any of you that have HB'd before kept it a secret?  Maybe this sounds odd.  I'd gladly tell friends if it came up.  I just don't feel like dealing with my mom's anxiety over the idea.  She's like a dog on a bone when she gets something in her head and I know that she'll want me to have a hopsital birth (not because she knows anything about homebirth, but because she knows everything about everything. lol.)  Would I be a terrible daughter for keeping it from her? 

[Lynann]

DS1 was 15 months old when DS2 was born at home, but I went into labor late afternoon and didn't go into active labor until after we put him down for the night. He slept through the whole thing, even though we lived in a tiny apartment and I thought I was making lots of noise.

This time I'll have an almost 3 year old and a 21 month old, and I'll be planning on doing the same thing as I did last time, have a friend come over primarily to help with the boys if needed, and if they sleep through it (like last time) to provide extra support for me. I will be asking the same friend we had last time, as the boys love her and she was a fantastic support to me when I needed her and just slipped out of the room when I didn't. I actually didn't hit active labor until she arrived, but once she was there I progressed really quickly, probably because I knew DS1 would be taken care of if he woke up.

[adventuregirl]

N, I don't think its terrible if you keep it from your mom. I think most people just assume you will go to the hospital (esp if that's what you did before) and it won't necessarily come up in conversation anyway. It will probably keep you from a lot of stress and then you can tell afterwards if you want to.

[pastormama]

Yep - we are.  Have had our initial consult and a first appointment, and go this Thursday for our 12-week check and blood testing.  Our midwives are amazing so far, and my stress is SO much less than it was going into the CNM/OB office last pregnancy (I get horrible white-coat).  

My DD will be a little over 2 yrs at the time of the birth, and I've decided that I don't want her here for it.  She spends the night frequently with her grandma, so we will just have her stay there while we labor.  I am incredibly private in that way, not wanting ANYONE with me except DH, and needing to focus completely on the labor experience.  I just have an instinctual feeling that with DD there, my labor would not progress well because I would be worrying about her, her feelings about the experience, etc.  She will come meet her new sibling as soon as she is able!

[OtherMother]

We may. Depends on a couple factors, including $$. If not, we'll likely use a freestanding birth center.

[nstewart]

Originally Posted by pastormama 

Yep - we are.  Have had our initial consult and a first appointment, and go this Thursday for our 12-week check and blood testing.  Our midwives are amazing so far, and my stress is SO much less than it was going into the CNM/OB office last pregnancy (I get horrible white-coat).  

My DD will be a little over 2 yrs at the time of the birth, and I've decided that I don't want her here for it.  She spends the night frequently with her grandma, so we will just have her stay there while we labor.  I am incredibly private in that way, not wanting ANYONE with me except DH, and needing to focus completely on the labor experience.  I just have an instinctual feeling that with DD there, my labor would not progress well because I would be worrying about her, her feelings about the experience, etc.  She will come meet her new sibling as soon as she is able!

I'm glad to know that someone else feels the same way!  I was feeling guilty or something for not wanting DS there, but perhaps I should just trust my instincts.

[BeagleMommy]

I won't have the kids around for the birth either. I think they would be a distraction. I don't want my mother there for the same reason. I am the opposite of private when I am in labor though. I strip completely and don't get dressed until after a shower after the baby is born. I want my hubby, midwife, and doula there, but no one else.

[Lynann]

So today I just found out that my previous CNM definitely cannot attend this birth. We moved about 30 miles further south when DS2 was 2 months old, and we were already pretty much at her geographical limit, but we were hoping she would take us on since we got on so well with her. Today she told us she is moving further north to live so from her home she would be too far away for her comfort as she considers my last labor a quick one (3 hours active, but almost 9 hours total) and would be concerned about not reaching us in time.

She did give me a couple of names of CNMs that are closer, so I'm now waiting to hear if one of them will take us on.

Honestly right now my heart is with going unassisted, but DH isn't there yet (maybe after this birth.) I just don't feel quite right about this being our 3rd midwife for our 3rd birth in 3 years. I'll live with it, but I really didn't want to have to start over yet again with another new midwife. DH has agreed that we will go unassisted BEFORE we ever go near an OB, so at least I have his backing if we are forced down that path.

[zjande]

I just joined this ddc today. :) My official due date is June 1st but my babies come before my due date, so, here I am. :)

I'll be having my 4th homebirth. My first 3 were born in the hospital, the 4th was a UC, the rest born at home with wonderful midwives. All my older children have been at each of my births ever since my 3rd child was born. They will be at this one as well, if they are awake. ;) 

The very best way for me to help my children know what to expect at the birth is to say this to them many times during my pregnancy: "Mamas have to be very noisy to help their babies come out. Mama will probably be very noisy, but it's okay. It's good! It will be helping our new baby come out." I am noisy during birth. But surprisingly, none of my children have ever been frightened during the experience. Even the very youngest under 2 yrs old. We also watch some birth videos online so they know what to expect and know that blood and gooey stuff is normal. I guess I don't personally feel distracted by them because I know my husband has them entirely in his control. I trust him to do everything they need done (and/or my oldest children can help them). 

[scary biscuits]

I am also planning for a home birth this time, in fact, it is a big part of the reason I am going with a midwife rather than my doctor who delivers babies and is great. My experience wasn't bad last time, but I would love to be in my own place and hopefully have fewer interventions this time around.

My husband will be their for sure and I want my mom as well because she was such a comfort to me and perhaps a friend who is preparing for her second home birth and is also going through her doula training.

I also don't think that I will have my little one there, not because I am worried about being noisy (very quiet last time, it's just not how I deal with pain I tend to get very internal instead), but because I know he would be to distracting for me. And (I hope this isn't too mean:) I think looking after him would be a good excuse to not have my mother-in-law at the birth. I love her to bits, but she was super stressful last time and I really don't want to deal with that again.

[pastormama]

And (I hope this isn't too mean:) I think looking after him would be a good excuse to not have my mother-in-law at the birth. I love her to bits, but she was super stressful last time and I really don't want to deal with that again.

Totally with ya!!  MIL wanted to "help" a lot last time, out of really great motivation, but I just wanted everyone to leave me alone!  Having DD to take care of will make her feel very useful.

[pastormama]

Originally Posted by BeagleMommy 

I won't have the kids around for the birth either. I think they would be a distraction. I don't want my mother there for the same reason. I am the opposite of private when I am in labor though. I strip completely and don't get dressed until after a shower after the baby is born. I want my hubby, midwife, and doula there, but no one else.

Oh, I get totally "free," too!!  I thought that was a pretty common laboring mama thing.  I just don't want the whole world there to see it!  That was one of my biggest issues with our pretty great hospital birth last time:  they left us totally alone until I got to pushing, then the circus came to town!!  Two nurses, midwife, her assistant, someone in training, probably some others, all staring at me with a big light pulled down from the ceiling!  Yuck!

[berrymama]

Originally Posted by pastormama 

Oh, I get totally "free," too!!  I thought that was a pretty common laboring mama thing.  I just don't want the whole world there to see it!  That was one of my biggest issues with our pretty great hospital birth last time:  they left us totally alone until I got to pushing, then the circus came to town!!  Two nurses, midwife, her assistant, someone in training, probably some others, all staring at me with a big light pulled down from the ceiling!  Yuck!

This was me with my first (a hospital waterbirth) except...it was on the OB unit that I work on. So at least 4 of my coworkers saw me naked and birthing :) At the time I really didn't care.

With our last birth (a homebirth) I didn't really worry about whether DS was there or not. He was 26 months. We watched birthing videos to prepare him. We live about 2 hrs from family and I am a fast birther, so I knew my parents wouldn't probably get there in time anyway. I just figured everything would work out. In the end, my labor was an hour long in the middle of the night and he slept through the whole thing. I will probably take a similar approach to this birth. DS1 will be 5, and DS2 will be 3 yrs.

[cadybh]

Originally Posted by berrymama 

Birthing From Within by Pam England is great (not only for homebirth, but natural childbirth in general)
Ina May's Spiritual Midwifery is basically a book of childbirth stories that will give you confidence in your own body.

If you can get a hold of a video called Orgasmic Birth (sounds out there, but it really is not!) it is a really great video. Your midwife may have a lending library of books and videos (my midwife had this one, among others). Oh! I just found this link to rent/watch it online http://orgasmicbirth.com/

Thanks! I'd heard of Ina's book but not the other. Oh, and now that you mention it, I remember seeing a news interview with the OG woman and a brief clip... in theory it makes sense but golly, so not at all what I experienced while in labor with my son! Did anyone here actually experience pleasurable contractions?!

[cadybh]

Ooh thanks! Review and description online look PERFECT! I like the idea of viewing and discussing birth videos too, which would be a fun intro for DS to his own birth story and video. I think it would probably be beneficial for DS to see sights and hear sounds before the big event.

I am personally debating whether to have someone on hand specifically for DS... every other local adult is also a parent of small children so can't really be on stand-by for days/weeks... and we're undecided about telling our parents (predict they'd be against the idea and just contribute negatively in an emotional way), so I'm stumped for now anyway.

[adventuregirl]

Hey mamas!

Had my first appt today and very happy with it. One thing came up that I am wanting to research is the GBS test. I know a little about it, and I generally refuse all testing, however my mw explained that if we were to transfer to the hospital and I didn't have the test, they would automatically put me on antibiotics and wouldn't release us after the birth until the baby had been observed for 24-48 hrs. I don't want to deal with that in the event of a transfer, so I am looking into more info. It seems that if I had the test and it was negative, I would have a protection from that type of intervention. But, it also seems like a meaningless test since you can test positive one day and then negative another. I did refuse this test in my last pregnancy, but I am not sure the possible consequences were clear to me, or even the same since that was 8 years ago. So, I was hoping to hear some thoughts from other homebirthers while I research this so I can make a good decision. Anybody have any thoughts?

[berrymama]

Originally Posted by adventuregirl 

Hey mamas!

Had my first appt today and very happy with it. One thing came up that I am wanting to research is the GBS test. I know a little about it, and I generally refuse all testing, however my mw explained that if we were to transfer to the hospital and I didn't have the test, they would automatically put me on antibiotics and wouldn't release us after the birth until the baby had been observed for 24-48 hrs. I don't want to deal with that in the event of a transfer, so I am looking into more info. It seems that if I had the test and it was negative, I would have a protection from that type of intervention. But, it also seems like a meaningless test since you can test positive one day and then negative another. I did refuse this test in my last pregnancy, but I am not sure the possible consequences were clear to me, or even the same since that was 8 years ago. So, I was hoping to hear some thoughts from other homebirthers while I research this so I can make a good decision. Anybody have any thoughts?

I was GBS positve with my first (a hospital birth), but birthed too fast to get the antibiotics. I worked really hard to be negative with my 2nd (a homebirth), taking lots of probiotics, etc, and it worked. I mostly checked because I wanted to know in case of transfer or if I had prolonged rupture of membranes so I could make an educated decision to get the IV antibiotics or not (at home). I will do the same with this pregnancy. Before the newer 'treat all positives' recommendation, the general recommendation used to be to treat with antibiotics if there was ROM > 18 hrs or maternal fever. There is also a Hibiclens protocol (vaginal wash) used in other countries that can be as effective as the IV antibiotics, if you are looking for more to research. I may also consider that if I were GBS positive and had PROM.

[grazy101]

I'm planning another homebirth as well. with the same midwife who deliver DS.

[Lynann]

GBS can be cleared up naturally with garlic. Then if you did test positive you could treat it and retest for the negative, then just give the hospital the negative result.