Sued for Child Neglect due to decision NOT to vaccinate?

[Kaizmama]

I've watched countless documentaries and read numerous pages of why vaccines are dangerous for my 9 month old daughter. However, prior to my realizations, my daughter has received: DTap(twice), pneumococcal(twice), hepB(twice), HiB, Polio(twice), and rotavirus(twice). Since I've finalized my decision to discontinue vaccination until further notice, my mother-in-law refused to let it sit. She is now threatening me to call child protective services to charge me for child neglect if I do not continue to vaccinate my daughter. Last time I checked she's my daughter and I can raise her in any which way I see best!!!!. I do not want to induce harmful chemicals into her body that pose great health risks to her by vaccination!!! I live in the Northern Mariana Islands. we are a trust territory of the United States. We receive grants from the US federal govt annually for our infrastructure. It is not "the law" to get children vaccinated. We are not well equipped with professional lawyers or judges that are well educated about the health risks that vaccines pose on communities. I have not looked up my town's law on vaccination exemption for such things as religious perspectives, but I'm going to! However, inthe mean time, can my mother-in-law really charge me for child neglect of not vaccinating my child? Can I have my child taken away from me? Can I possibly be imprisoned?

[emmy526]

Look up the laws in your town..chances are she can't do anything about it...i know in the USA nothing would come of something like that, if an exemption were in place.  Has you dr given you gruff about it?  Has anyone at all ever said such a thing to you before?

[kathymuggle]

I sincerely doubt it.

What does your partner think of the whole thing?

I would do one of two things:

1.  Lie to MIL about your DD vax status.  It is none of her business.  Say you have reconsidered and you are slowly going to start vaccinating. I would then think hard about my families relationship with the MIL - is she normally a good person, but has gone temporarily insane over boundaries and vaccines?  Or is this typical behaviour for her?  If it is a one off, I would lie and get on with your lives. If sticking her nose in where it does not belong is par for the course with her, I would lie and then cut ties to her.   Threatenning to call authorities over child neglect is a huge issue.

2.  Tell her straight up to back off on the vaccine issue.  She may think you are wrong, but it is your child.  Let her know that if she does not back off you will cut ties with her.  

Really, what you have to decide is what course of action is least likely to result in a call to child protective services  (which probably wouldn't go anywhere, anyways, but who wants to risk it or have CPS called on them?  Stressful).  You also have to decide if you want your daughter (and you!) to have a relationship with MIL.  

Sorry you are in this position …….

[ma2two]

That is really horrible she is threatening you with that. Just horrible.

In your situation, for my own peace of mind, I would be a really good actress and convince her that I had changed my mind and had decided to fully vaccinate my child after all.

[Mittsy]

If you are making sure that your child is receiving medical care when necessary it is not medical neglect. Would it be possible to cut off contact with her, at least for a while?

[blessedwithboys]

It's none of her concern.  If you can't cut her out of your life completely, lie to her.  Stick a bandaid on your baby's leg before your next encounter.  Complain loudly about how fussy your dd has been since her last shot, and how you've been cycling Tylenol and Motrin for two days.  Then go happily along your non-vaxing way.  :)

~BWB (who has a crazy xmil who did call CPS)

[ma2two]

Originally Posted by blessedwithboys 

Stick a bandaid on your baby's leg before your next encounter.  Complain loudly about how fussy your dd has been since her last shot, and how you've been cycling Tylenol and Motrin for two days. 

LOL might as well go all out. 

[Kaizmama]

Thank you everyone! I actually plan to go through with the role playing thing of putting band aids with gauze on her legs to make it seem legit. Honestly everyone I know on this island is so naive and narrow mind!! If the Pope announced today that the world is ending tomorrow they will believe it! Everyone I tell that my daughters shot are delayed, just stare at me like i am bad parent and just give their lecture of how important it is to vax!! My husband is still straddling on the fence on the whole vaxing idea. He understands where I'm coming from but he's just worried about an outbreak happening and our daughter at risk. I really can't cut ties with my MIL because this is her first and only grandchild and more so she never had a baby daughter of her own. I think she'd be heartbroken and butt hurt if I forbid her seeing her grandchild. Well, at least I won't be vaxing my daughter!M!!

[ma2two]

Originally Posted by Kaizmama 

Thank you everyone! I actually plan to go through with the role playing thing of putting band aids with gauze on her legs to make it seem legit. 

Just make sure doctors in your area actually use gauze after vaccines. I've never seen that myself. I've only seen band aids.

[grahamsmom98]

Be proactive and call your local CPS or public health department.  Tell them you are writing a paper on public health and want to know if, hypothetically, one can be charged with child endangerment for not vaccinating in your territory.  Do the whole "why-anyone-wouldn't-vax-is-beyond-me" talk and mention that you think anyone that follows that way of thinking is nuts!  The CPS office will probably give you all the info you want!

Good luck with your mil.  We have been lucky, our parents (both sides) fully supported our decision to refuse vaccines.

[prosciencemum]

I can't I imagine she'd actually go through with it, she's probably just trying to scare you.

Rather than lying to her, have you considered trying to discuss it with her a bit more. Ask her to listen to your point of view, and in return you'll listen to hers..... Perhaps you can find some middle ground, or at least agree to disagree.

Ultimately this is your child, but you have to Iive with your mil.....

[ma2two]

Originally Posted by prosciencemum 

Rather than lying to her, have you considered trying to discuss it with her a bit more. Ask her to listen to your point of view, and in return you'll listen to hers..... Perhaps you can find some middle ground, or at least agree to disagree.
 

This is a person who is making threats to her family. I don't think it would be worth the risk to try to reason with her.

[prosciencemum]

Originally Posted by ma2two 

This is a person who is making threats to her family. I don't think it would be worth the risk to try to reason with her.

What's the risk? If the conversation goes badly she's only where she is right now.... 

[emmy526]

Originally Posted by prosciencemum 

What's the risk? If the conversation goes badly she's only where she is right now.... 

she's risking wasting her  time with attempting to talk to someone who has NO concern for anyone's feelings or agenda but her own, and if she is hell bent on calling cps, simply 'talking it over' with her, is not a viable option. The conversation would end up going in circles due to the lack of respect of choices. 

[ma2two]

Originally Posted by prosciencemum 

What's the risk? If the conversation goes badly she's only where she is right now.... 

The risk is that it would be even more difficult to be convincing after the conversation that she had changed her mind and decided to vaccinate. Maybe the MIL would decide to call CPS immediately after the conversation. Do you not realize what a terrible threat the mother in law has made?

Edited by ma2two - 10/2/12 at 10:13am

[phathui5]

If someone is threatening to call CPS about my parenting choices, they're choosing not to get to see my family. If this were my mil, I would let her know that.