Sued for Child Neglect due to decision NOT to vaccinate?
I sincerely doubt it.
What does your partner think of the whole thing?
I would do one of two things:
1. Lie to MIL about your DD vax status. It is none of her business. Say you have reconsidered and you are slowly going to start vaccinating. I would then think hard about my families relationship with the MIL - is she normally a good person, but has gone temporarily insane over boundaries and vaccines? Or is this typical behaviour for her? If it is a one off, I would lie and get on with your lives. If sticking her nose in where it does not belong is par for the course with her, I would lie and then cut ties to her. Threatenning to call authorities over child neglect is a huge issue.
2. Tell her straight up to back off on the vaccine issue. She may think you are wrong, but it is your child. Let her know that if she does not back off you will cut ties with her.
Really, what you have to decide is what course of action is least likely to result in a call to child protective services (which probably wouldn't go anywhere, anyways, but who wants to risk it or have CPS called on them? Stressful). You also have to decide if you want your daughter (and you!) to have a relationship with MIL.
Sorry you are in this position …….
It's none of her concern. If you can't cut her out of your life completely, lie to her. Stick a bandaid on your baby's leg before your next encounter. Complain loudly about how fussy your dd has been since her last shot, and how you've been cycling Tylenol and Motrin for two days. Then go happily along your non-vaxing way. :)
~BWB (who has a crazy xmil who did call CPS)
Just make sure doctors in your area actually use gauze after vaccines. I've never seen that myself. I've only seen band aids.
Be proactive and call your local CPS or public health department. Tell them you are writing a paper on public health and want to know if, hypothetically, one can be charged with child endangerment for not vaccinating in your territory. Do the whole "why-anyone-wouldn't-vax-is-beyond-me" talk and mention that you think anyone that follows that way of thinking is nuts! The CPS office will probably give you all the info you want!
Good luck with your mil. We have been lucky, our parents (both sides) fully supported our decision to refuse vaccines.
Rather than lying to her, have you considered trying to discuss it with her a bit more. Ask her to listen to your point of view, and in return you'll listen to hers..... Perhaps you can find some middle ground, or at least agree to disagree.
Ultimately this is your child, but you have to Iive with your mil.....
This is a person who is making threats to her family. I don't think it would be worth the risk to try to reason with her.
she's risking wasting her time with attempting to talk to someone who has NO concern for anyone's feelings or agenda but her own, and if she is hell bent on calling cps, simply 'talking it over' with her, is not a viable option. The conversation would end up going in circles due to the lack of respect of choices.
The risk is that it would be even more difficult to be convincing after the conversation that she had changed her mind and decided to vaccinate. Maybe the MIL would decide to call CPS immediately after the conversation. Do you not realize what a terrible threat the mother in law has made?
Edited by ma2two - 10/2/12 at 10:13am