any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.
As a background, my mom has Stg 4 Lung Cancer, has stopped treatment as of two weeks ago, and is now in Hospice care. We were told last week she has "weeks not months", and in the last few days, her breathing is more labored, and she's sleeping a lot more. A few weeks ago, we sat down our 4 yr old son and finally went beyond the previous conversations of "Grammie has booboos on her chest, we need to be gentle, Grammie can't play as much, yada yada". We, with the advice of his pedi and some of the resources we got from Dana Farber, we told him the following. "Grammie has cancer, she is sick and the doctors can't fix her. You cannot catch cancer from her. She's very tired and sometimes she may not know your name, or eat her dinner." He handled that conversation very well but we didn't complete the story at that time that she was dying.
Since then, she's taken a bad turn, her and my dad have moved in here so we can all be together, and seeing that a week of "weeks" has passed already, and what I've seen the last few days, both DH and I think we need to tell him this weekend. DH graduates from college tomorrow so we want to keep that day happy and then maybe tell him Sunday morning. DS understands death, understands cemeteries, understands the permanence. We aren't religious and don't want to do the heaven, angels, etc route. But finding the right words, the manner in which to do it, I just don't know. This is going to rock his world. My mom is one of his best friends. If anyone has advice on what words to use, how to approach him, etc, I would so appreciate it.