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Mothering › Groups › March 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Talk to me about registries... (Sorry, long as usual!)

Talk to me about registries... (Sorry, long as usual!) - Page 2

post #21 of 36

My DD2 was the fastest growing kid at first.  At birth 8 lbs. 9 oz, (left hospital at 8 lbs.), 4 weeks 12 lbs, 8 weeks 16 lbs, 12 weeks 18 lbs. Crazy fast weight gain!  By 15 months she was 31 lbs and now (at 2 1/2) she is 28 lbs.  lol.  She's been in the same clothing size for over a year!!!  I bought a bit of winter clothes at an end of season sale for REAL cheap and she doesn't fit in them! lol.

post #22 of 36

Buko, I love the questions you ask! As a first time mama myself, it helps so much to see what you're thinking about, and what suggestions people have! I have been wondering a little bit about the registry thing too, because I would really like to get a lot of things used, but also have some pretty strong opinions about getting things that are natural, organic, gender-neutral, etc. I really like Spughy's idea of a book shower, and then maybe have a small registry up for people who don't want to get books? And SamSarah's suggestions about services is great too (I just went to my first prenatal yoga class today - it was awesome). Or, I'm considering trying to do more of a descriptive "registry" - listing the kinds of things I would like, and emphasizing that I love re-used, hand-made, etc. Maybe again, with some specifics for the things that I end up doing a lot of research on and deciding that there is a particular brand/type that I want (like cloth diapers, for example).

 

I'm really curious to hear what you end up doing - keep us informed! :)

post #23 of 36

I picked up babylist, too. Love it! I've thrown a few things we don't really need but would kind of like on there, since we don't need a whole lot, what with this being the second baby, but I like that I can put cloth diapers on there, too. I'm hoping that's the bulk of our gifts (this, of course, assuming anyone feels the need to gift us ANYTHING), right now, actually, since I needs me some fluff! XD

post #24 of 36

I haven't read through everything, but here is my experience with my previous babies, and also going to other people's showers.

 

People will NOT buy off the registry. They will buy  what they think you need for a baby, and this may or may not line up with what you've asked for. Granted, this might just be the sort of people we have in our family, but that's been our experience. By the second baby, everyone we know, KNOWS I use cloth diapers, yet I still got boxes of disposables (real diapers, according to family SMH) - so . . . yeah.

 

Register even for the big things, because most places will give you a coupon for x% off of any "unfullfilled" items on your registry, that haven't been bought by a couple weeks before your due date. Some things we purchased ourselves, and marked "bought" or "fulfilled"  so people would know we had them, in the hopes we wouldn't get those items. (we still got 2 diaper genies at the 2nd baby's shower)

 

I am a little jaded on the gift front, maybe. It's not that we didn't get some lovely gifts. But very little were things we asked for, or actually needed.

 

Clothes: My first baby, everyone said newborn sized clothes were a waste, they don't wear them long, etc. So I had very few, if any. Turns out, he was only 6 lbs 14 oz, despite being a 41+5 week gestation baby. He NEEDED newborn clothes. 0-3 swam on him, so we had to go out and buy, and borrow from friends. He wasn't the fastest gainer either, so he was in them a while. My daughter, OTOH, despite being born at the same gestational age, was nearly a pound heavier and a fast gainer. We barely used newborn, and probably could have gone straight to 0-3. You just never know. This baby, I have no idea! we'll see!

 

For everything, if you are purchasing it yourself, buy second (or third . . .) hand. Except for carseats. Baby clothes usually are barely used, people overbuy. The gear, the same way, it's not used for a very long period of time, and you can get a great deal on all that stuff used. Once Upon a Child, thrift, semi-annual consignment sales, craigslist, diaperswappers.com . . . you name it!

post #25 of 36

We had the same problem on the newborn clothes! Baby #1 was 5 lbs 7oz at birth and a slow gainer. He didn't hit 10 lbs until I had returned to work. We had to go out and buy premie sized clothes because he fell out of everything else. I always buy one newborn sleeper now for friends who are having a first baby because it is nice to have something that fits early on. Granted, my second was 8 lbs 9 oz, so she was well into the 0-3  month sizes early on, but we had newborn sized outfits just in case.

post #26 of 36
Thread Starter 

Your candor is appreciated, akind1!

 

I actually don't think I have any "big" (over $75) purchases to make except the car seat, or I would definitely register for them.  Well, except the crib, but I specifically want an Ikea crib, so that's kinda out.

 

I have been cataloging all of my purchases in the "Buy Anything For Baby Yet?" thread and I have managed to get a number of things from consignment/yard sales, eBay and now diaperswappers, so I am hopeful we'll have whatever we need, if not via gifts, than via cheap cheap deals.  We'll see!  I can totally see some of my family (Mom's side) not getting anything off the registry (and referring to sposies as "real diapers)...  OTOH, Dad's side, friends and DH's family I'M GUESSING will actually do some registry shopping.  Just a hypothesis, though, LOL. 

post #27 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by buko View Post

 

I actually don't think I have any "big" (over $75) purchases to make except the car seat, or I would definitely register for them.  Well, except the crib, but I specifically want an Ikea crib, so that's kinda out.

 

Not sure why this is true? I think you said you were working on an Amazon registry, and I know they have a "Universal registry" button that you can add to your browser, so as to add items from anywhere on the web to your registry list (we did this for our wedding registry - added items from several different places). I would imagine most online registries have that at this point. You should just be able to pick the Ikea crib link, and connect it to whatever registry you have. smile.gif

post #28 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by chocolatechip View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by buko View Post

 

I actually don't think I have any "big" (over $75) purchases to make except the car seat, or I would definitely register for them.  Well, except the crib, but I specifically want an Ikea crib, so that's kinda out.

 

Not sure why this is true? I think you said you were working on an Amazon registry, and I know they have a "Universal registry" button that you can add to your browser, so as to add items from anywhere on the web to your registry list (we did this for our wedding registry - added items from several different places). I would imagine most online registries have that at this point. You should just be able to pick the Ikea crib link, and connect it to whatever registry you have. smile.gif


I agree with chocolatechip! No reason not to ask for it, even if it's from Ikea.

post #29 of 36
Thread Starter 

Oh, really?  Cool!

post #30 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post

I haven't read through everything, but here is my experience with my previous babies, and also going to other people's showers.

 

People will NOT buy off the registry. They will buy  what they think you need for a baby, and this may or may not line up with what you've asked for. Granted, this might just be the sort of people we have in our family, but that's been our experience. By the second baby, everyone we know, KNOWS I use cloth diapers, yet I still got boxes of disposables (real diapers, according to family SMH) - so . . . yeah.

 

I am a little jaded on the gift front, maybe. It's not that we didn't get some lovely gifts. But very little were things we asked for, or actually needed.

 

 

In my experience, and it is probably a family thing, people did get things off the registry for my past baby shower. I think too it may depend on the invitations sent out. We decided that our invites would be pretty specific about using the registry I have mapped out on amazon.com. Now, I just hope everyone will pay attention. Being DP's first baby, I have no idea how his family will handle our baby shower. Ugh... I really hope we don't get disposables! Here is what my invites look like...

 

 

 

 

 

 

What do you guys think? I designed them, and sending them to the printers tomorrow... Hopefully the "Please no disposable diapers" will be enough of a hint!!

 

EDITED: To change the number and email on the invite. I figured my MIL would appreciate that! ;)


Edited by babytoes - 10/16/12 at 6:26am
post #31 of 36
Thread Starter 

Beautiful!  IF you can make a change-- and you may not be able to-- I might bold Cloth Diaper, just because I can see people's brains only registering "diaper/pack of diapers," since that seems to be the standard "buy in" to a diaper raffle.  Just a thought-- I think it's a great idea and way to get the CDs you need!

 

I was going to have my BFF put something like "D & M are excited to use cloth diapers.  Any disposable diapers purchased for the couple will be gratefully donated to the local women's shelter."

 

Or something like that.  Just to drive home that we don't "really need" them "just in case" (though I'm sure if we get some, we might keep ONE pack-- but I don't want them to know that!)   

post #32 of 36

I've never heard of a diaper drive, but I love the idea of having one and mentioning it on the invitation. I also like the idea to note that any disposables will be donated, in the hopes of driving home that you are, indeed, going green. Are you throwing your own showers, or is someone throwing one for you? I always felt weird about that, like it's supposedly gauche to throw your own shower. I kind of want to do a tea party, though, and I don't want to expect someone else to put forth all that effort for little ol' me. ;)

post #33 of 36
Thread Starter 

My BFF wants to throw a shower for me (I threw-- or co-threw-- her shower 2 years ago).  I also think one of my grandmothers wants to do something.  She's been hinting.

 

I don't want to be pushy, but our friends and family are sooooo diverse-- that's a nice way of saying they can be like oil and water-- or at least like ducks in a frog pond.  So I have some ideas about how I want it to go...  Either a really super-NON-traditional shower that's hyper-inclusive (co-ed, no traditional shower games, etc.) or maybe one shower for our "young" friends and one for family, if my grandmother wants to throw a little family-oriented one.  I hope my BFF is not offended, because the shower I threw for her was mostly traditional...  None of the really cheesy games, but like a ladies' tea with semi-traditional trappings.  I just don't see that for us.  I'd rather a BBQ type of feel (though not an actual BBQ in January/February!) and the co-ed thing, and if games, maybe some that "make fun" of our apparently crunchy leanings.  Like teams that have to CD a baby, or wrap a baby in a carrier, etc., LOL.  What I know I DON'T want are the following:

 

-"All girls," unless it's a small family thing in addition to a friends' shower.

 

-Cheesy games, especially involving things like disposable diapers, baby food, bottles, etc., since we don't plan on using those.  It's not that I'm militant about those things, but it's just not us, so it wouldn't feel like "our" party.

 

-Advice.  I mean, I'll get it anyway, and I actually want SOME!  But I don't want like everyone to write down or share their favorite piece of parenting advice, because I'm a stubborn control freak and I just don't want to hear it from some of my family members (especially).

 

-A "Blessingway," especially if it's called that.  I have a good Ohkay Owingeh friend whose husband is Navajo, who actually went through a real Hozhooji (sp?-- aka a blessingway) and it's a really serious multi-day ceremony.  Although I don't have a problem with the idea of a "mother's blessing" party, I don't care for the culturally appropriative aspects that seem to come with a lot of such parties.  And even stripped of that, I don't want advice!!! (LOL), so I'd be left with a bunch of people sitting around telling me I'm a strong, capable, beautiful woman and eating sandwiches.  ROTFLMAO.gif  

 

I know, I'm terribly picky-- I don't want this to become a control-fest-- it's not me throwing it!  OTOH, my BFF is usually pretty good about asking what I want and going with the flow, so I'm sure it will work out fine. 

post #34 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by buko View Post
 so I'd be left with a bunch of people sitting around telling me I'm a strong, capable, beautiful woman and eating sandwiches.  ROTFLMAO.gif

 

I am not seeing the problem with this at all.  Throw in some beer and it sounds like a GREAT idea.

post #35 of 36
Thread Starter 

True that!

post #36 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by spughy View Post

 

I am not seeing the problem with this at all.  Throw in some beer and it sounds like a GREAT idea.

 

LOL.

 

I love love love the idea of crunchy games, another thing I hadn't considered. My shower for my daughter was a potluck and presents--no games. Not my preference, but my BFF never asked what I wanted and I didn't think to ask for anything specific. ;)

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