I have a three year old (in Dec) son who has always been a great sleeper. He would actually announce when it was bed time and sleep through the night. On the rare occasions when he would wake up I would comfort him and he would go right back to sleep. Within the last few weeks however when he would wake up I would go to him and he would cling to me in terror and actually try to climb out of his crib, so I began to bring him to bed with me. I co-slept with my older children so this concept is not new to me, however he has always been an independent sleeper. Once in bed he will usually fall right back to sleep. It is now to the point he is waking every night and wanting to sleep with me. I dread it because honestly I do not sleep a wink and I have epilepsy so if I am in a sleep deficit or under a ton of stress it triggers my seizures.
Now his father (not together) would get him out of bed more regularly and lay him in his bed to watch cartoons (which I do not do) and it never seemed to matter overall, Eli remained a good sleeper so I did not complain. As of last night however, when he was carrying him to bed, Eli demanded to start out sleeping in his dad's bed which he has never done. Shawn called me complaining about it so I told him we would discuss our plan of action this morning. The conversation did not go well. He understands that if I have a certain amount of seizures I have to relinquish my license, and we live an hour apart. In trying to discuss the issue with him I brought up the fact that he was more prone to getting Eli out of bed and perhaps he should lay off the middle of the night cartoons, he then said it was my fault that my neighbors must be doing something to wake him up and I was remiss in not trying to get to the bottom of it. We have never communicated well, and it ended with him threatening to take full custody bc I told him if we didn't work together to resolve the issue I would be compromising my health and the result of that would be me losing my license, therefore he would have to do the driving. (we have 50/50) I did not approach him in a confrontational way, I never do bc he is so very defensive.
So I guess this is a two part issue, I'm sitting here in tears, beyond frustrated. First of all, what do you think is going on with my son, and what is the least traumatizing route I can take to help him get back into a good healthy sleep pattern. I've considered getting him a cool toddler bed and a baby gate at his door. Sleeping in my bed is really not an option, but in my room perhaps with his bed in there. ANY suggestions would be appreciated and helpful.
Second, does my ex have a leg to stand on with his threats in regards to my health issues? I always manage to muddle through and it has never compromised my ability to care for Eli. My apartment is baby proof to the max. I do have a medical neglect charge bc his ex pediatrician filed on me bc I chose to delay vax. A very traumatic time in my life during which I received zero support from my ex, had no representatiion and was completely alone. (I have no family) He always uses that charge as a threat as well.
I feel so alone right now, like I am falling down a hole. I want to help my son, and it looks like I am going to have to figure it all out on my own.
Thank you in advance anyone who has read this and wants to offer suggestions
Edited by littlecappy2010 - 9/28/12 at 11:55am