I am nine weeks pregnant with twins, and am happy to have found this forum. I am feeling a little frustrated about my OB options, and wanted to vent/solicit any advice you all might have.
I had a very simple, all natural hospital birth with my DD, and had been planning a homebirth for this baby. The hospital in our town (which is not the same town in which I birthed DD, so I don't know many providers yet) has a reputation for being very unfriendly to natural childbirth. I honestly had not even considered the hospital as an option for this pregnancy, so I'm doing a lot of recalibration.
We visited the OB practice our fertility specialist recommended, and I liked them and most of their answers to my questions, but although they are only four doctors, they share call with eight other docs, so I'm likely to get a stranger at my birth. This seems scary to me, and seems like it would make it hard to advocate for the birth that I want.
We visited another practice that's just two doctors (and no one else on call). While I liked the intimacy of that practice, some of their answers started sending up red flags- they wouldn't let me go past 38 weeks under an circumstances, unless both babies are head-down they insist both on an epidural and on delivery in the OR, etc. The doctor also used the words "fetal demise" at least three times in our 30 minute conversation, which felt alarmist and unnecessary to me.
Yesterday, we tried to go visit another doctor who's one town over, who has a reputation for being very supportive of natural birth and midwifery care. (This is kind of big deal around here since midwives don't even have privileges in our hospital.) We were a little on the fence before we got there because the hospital he delivers in doesn't have a NICU, but we figured it was worth a conversation. We got there (a 40 minute drive from our town, for which DP and I both took off work), and were told that because I hadn't filled out the online health history, the doctor wouldn't meet with us. I explained that no one had told me about the online health history, and asked if we could at least have our consult since we'd come so far. The nurse asked the doctor, but he refused to see us. I realize that we could make another appointment, try to find another morning we could both take off, and go back, but I just got left with a bad feeling in my stomach about the whole thing. Like, if you're going to be this inflexible about a paperwork issue, what's going to happen when I'm actually having the babies?
So now we're at an impasse. There are two practices that are in a larger city 45 minutes from us that my doula friend has recommended. Perhaps once I catch my breath and recover from this week of visits, I'll start making appointments with them. But I feel nervous about a drive to the hospital that would be 45 minutes WITHOUT traffic, potentially an hour and a half at the wrong time of day.
I think mainly I'm just feeling a little sad about my birth being so different from what I pictured, and also feeling guilty about feeling sad when I should just be feeling grateful to have two healthy heartbeats inside of me right now. (And, I am so incredibly grateful for that.)
Anyway, I'd love to hear thoughts or insights, success stories of births that went well, reminders that even a c-section isn't the end of the world, etc. In any case, I'm excited to be joining you guys, and look forward to learning from you as we get ready to expand our family!