During my last pregnancy, I chose my homebirth midwife based on her advanced experience (trained in Europe and a trainer of LM midwives here). It came in handy. But our personalities didn't match for the work relationship (love her personally) and she didn't support some of my lifestyle choices. I felt nervous every time I went for a visit, and during my birthing time, she acted like I was resisting instructions she hadn't given me.
Towards the end of my pregnancy, she had a personal emergency and left me in the care of a brilliant, respectful and compassionate (but definitely less experienced) midwife. I loved her! My original midwife was the primary at my birth, and the other midwife was the backup (which means she came at the last minute to help with baby). The backup gave me strength and sweetness emotionally while I was completely out of it from bleeding and exhaustion. Meanwhile, the primary listened to my pleas not to transfer me and gave me the chance to stop bleeding, and sewed up my complicated tears.
What I would like this time is to have the backup midwife as my primary for this pregnancy, but also have the other midwife attend my birth. I don't even know if it's possible to get a commitment from a backup midwife--they seem to come on an "as available" basis at the time of birth. (They are not in the same practice.) But how can I broach the topic with either of them?
Just not quite sure what to do. I guess I need to decide if I'd be okay with not having my former primary as backup and then approach my preferred midwife? Is this all just very rude of me?
(Edited for privacy.)
Edited by sky_and_lavender - 10/8/12 at 1:42pm