My friend is in her first trimester with her 2nd child.
Her first was a boy (now 2.5yo). He had a NICU start, and was circ'd because the baby next him was intact and they saw what a hassle it was to clean him. (Yup. The hospital retracted, even these tiny NICU babes! horrified!) However, I'm thinking that experience merely was the straw that broke the camel's back. I'm pretty sure Daddy is circ'd as well, so the conventional nonsense arguments had to have factored in as well. They don't really research these things. : (
I plan to PM just a few links over FB, keeping it short and sweet; matter-of-fact. I am nervous--- I do not want to hurt our friendship, but I cannot consider myself a decent friend if I don't share the valuable information in my back pocket.
I would love some guidance finding links that address their specific concerns:
1) Above all, sensitivity and sobriety
My friend is an extremely sensitive person anyway, but even more so when she is pregnant. She doesn't need the inflammatory, loaded, accusatory words and phrases that frequently appear in our literature. They have their place, but it definitely isn't here. Remember she is hormonal, and she has already circ'd her first son. She needs articles and studies that will appeal to her logic, and use the utmost empathy when addressing mothers of circ'd sons. Also, she is a victim of sexual abuse, so anything linking circ to sexual abuse might be way too much, and might actually repel her (especially if she's seen circ as "no big deal"). The point of this is just to convince them to keep their baby intact, not beat them over the head with every point.
2) Acknowledging and addressing their faith
I can almost guarantee that their Christianity informs this decision. They probably agree with thought processes such as "God wouldn't command something that is harmful" and "If it is good enough for Jesus..."
Articles that discuss the differences between Old Testament and modern-day circ'ing, and that impress that their faith does not require it, would be very helpful.
3) Prepuce function and care; basic explanation of circ procedure.
Like I said at the beginning, they made the decision with their first sons based off of witnessing improper care. They need to know exactly how to handle an infant's intact penis--- don't retract, wipe like a finger--- simple, easy. It's a given that they do not know what the prepuce is for, so basic explanation about its value would help. Also, a basic explanation of the circ procedure--- I don't see videos being appropriate for them, though I might very briefly mention that there are videos of circs on youtube, and they might look them up.
4) Perspective from medical professionals
These folks abide by what the doctors say. They need credible articles written by medical professionals to appeal to them. They also have a nurse in the family who frequently advises them regarding medical matters. I do not know what the nurse's position on circ is, but I would be surprised if they don't run to her with these links. This part needs to be very strong in case this aunt tells them "it's really no big deal".
5) Addressing Daddy concerns
You know, the conventional pile of nonarguments. Ridicule in the locker room. Needs to look like Daddy. It's cleaner. etc.
6) Ethical dilemmas
It needs to be said, but as matter-of-factly and as sensitively as possible. FGM v MGM and his body, his choice.
I THINK that is it.
Also, when should I share this info? Now, ASAP? Or do I wait until after their big gender scan if it is a boy?