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October Infertility "One" Thread - Page 8

post #141 of 172



I too can't figure out what to say and kept typing then deleting.


TickleToes was right and so are you. That sadly some how the 2nd time it is different. That rather than being in limbo and not knowing what is going on, that sadly things feel familiar again. The first time I told no one. Kept it to myself. Now, if it fits into a conversation I feel like I need to tell everyone. It's weird. 


Ectopic is also one of my biggest fears. 


Take care of yourself.

post #142 of 172
Thanks sila. I hate that you understand. I wish none of us ever had to experience this. It's strange. If I poas, I'm pg, but other than that, I don't feel pg at all.
post #143 of 172

That was a sign for me, I knew I just felt "too good" after feeling pretty sick for almost a week. 


When do you go back? Or are you waiting it out? Feel free to PM me if needed.

post #144 of 172
I go back tomorrow for another blood draw. Hoping for some answers this time. If the numbers are still slowly rising, I think they might do an u/s. I'm hoping the numbers either jumped way up (unlikely) or are dropping.

Have you had 2 or 3 losses?
post #145 of 172

2. Both before 6 weeks.


AFM - If I don't hear from my RE about my RPL results tomorrow, I'll call tues. Tomorrow will be 2 wks since they were drawn and they told me up to 2 weeks to get the results. 


My lap can't come soon enough. In the 2 months I have suspected I might have endo, my pain has some how doubled if not tripled. And I'm on BCPs right now. From what I have researched, if BCPs don't help with the pain, it's a sign that you most likely have endo. It's only seemed worse since I started them. I hate to complain but it sucks. Like the other night I wanted to have sex (and did), but I was in pain to start with and knew it would only make it worse after (and it did) and that I would pay for it. I can't live like that. I don't tell DH because I don't want him to think he is hurting me. It wakes me up during the night too. That is something Dr's always ask you, if your pain wakes you up during the night. Like this defines it as not only in your head. Ok rant over!

post #146 of 172

Sila- That was exactly how we found out we need to do a lap and check for Endo for me. I'm so sorry  you have to deal with that awful pain. SKJ- I hope you get some answers soon. AFM- My tentative schedule (if I get my period Nov. 14) is retrieval Dec. 12 and transfer 12/17.

post #147 of 172
Thread Starter 

My cycle was cancelled before it even started. I have cysts. Not sure how many or how big or anything else. I just know I have to go back at my next period and they will check again. This process is exhausting. I just wanted this to happen before the end of 2012 and now we are certainly looking at the end of January. I'm so sad.

post #148 of 172

toothfairy - so sorry to hear that.  I wish patience for you!  (I mean like wishing you good luck, I wish you patience... hope that makes sense...) 


Sila - Ouch!  Getting woken up in the middle of the night by pain would be horrid.  Also, I totally get what you mean about not telling DH.  I am the same way about that stuff. 


SKJ - Best of luck to you tomorrow.  Waiting around really stinks.  Like Sila said, (and I've only had 1 mc) I thought I felt too good after being sick for a couple of weeks. Let us know what you find out, we are here for you either way! 


AFM - CD6 here.  Nothing much to report.  DH wants to BD but AF keeps showing up occasionally.  I wish she would either be over or be here.  Spotting is uncomfortable and annoying!! 

post #149 of 172

Deborah - Thanks. So exciting that things are happening so soon for you! 


Cait - Suckety suck! Why do they think you have cysts? They saw them on u/s? (Sorry I'll lurk on the IVF thread if you already mentioned it) I hope they shrink away by next cycle. We're looking at next yr too (lap end of Nov, then at least one "recovery" off cycle). Last Christmas I wanted to be pg by this Christams...and the one before that. Hang in there. Do something nice for yourself.


Planegreen - Gah my AF was like that this month too! I think my body was confused by the progesterone shot. I always give in and BD before AF is fully over which makes her last even longer! I didn't realize you had a loss too. So sorry. I hope this next one is it for you.


SKJ - You have been in my thoughts. Update when you are ready.


AFM - Hoping to hear from my RE with my blood work results today.

post #150 of 172
Sila - Ugh. I hate the waiting. It just totally adds to the stress of IF. And being on bcps just seems so wrong when all you are trying to do is have a baby! I hope you get some answers with the blood work. It would be nice to have a problem with an easy fix. And, I really hope the lap can help with the pain you are having. That sounds awful.

PlaneGreen - Sorry that AF isn't being straightforward! This past month, I had a normal 5 day AF. Then, one or two days without any bleeding, then she came back for a day or two. Super, super annoying. But, hey, I got a BFP that month, so maybe her being annoying is a good sign? All this expericence has taught me is that you really never know which month is going to be the lucky one.

Deborah - yay for getting going so quickly!

TF - hugs friend. I'm so frustrated for you.

AFM - Just twiddling my thumbs while I wait for the call. Should hear in the next 2-3 hours. Thanks for all your support over the last few days. I'm feeling very zen about everything. I guess I've come to terms with the loss.
post #151 of 172

SKJ - I am glad you are feeling peaceful. I hope your test results are clear and bring you certainty one way or another.


Toothfairy - I am so sorry about the cysts. :(


Sila - hope your test results come in soon.


AFM - I got a positive test today and go in for my first betas this afternoon. I'm excited and terrified at the same time. Really hoping this poppyseed is a keeper.

post #152 of 172
TT - Yay!!! I'm sending you all the positive, doubling sticky baby thoughts I have.

AFM - The numbers are dropping, which I'm happy about. They went from 373 on Friday to 280 today. With my last m/c, my body hung on to the hcg like nobody's business. hoping for a swifter dropping time this time. Also, despite being on twice a day crinone, my progesterone has been around 8.5 to 9.5 the whole time. That was my first tip off that something was wrong. Anyways, I'm happy to have some closure and am not surprised this is ending this way. Still waiting to see what the next steps are after the bleeding starts.
post #153 of 172

TT - Yay yay yay! I really hope this is your keeper. Our thread needs a keeper. Keep us updated on your betas! Did you have betas drawn with your other pregnancies?


SKJ - I'm glad you have closure and aren't in limbo anymore. I felt the same with my last loss, I wasn't surprised and actually felt more ok about it once I knew it was ending. I hope your hcg falls quickly and that you can be back ttc when you are ready. I'm so sorry for your loss.


AFM - Got my results back. I tested positive for 2 MTHFR mutations but they are very minor ones that they do not treat unless you test positive for C6 mutations (which is makes it more serious) which I do not have. Apparently this is a very common mutation to have and a large percent of the population has it. So I guess it doesn't explain my losses. Still, even though it isn't a big deal, she mention these mutations are related to the cardiovascular system??? Everything else was normal. No clotting factors. I feel good knowing that things are ok, but also feel good knowing that everything wasn't exactly perfect even if it apparently affects nothing.

post #154 of 172

Toothfairy:  I'm so sorry that this is being delayed!! I understand the frustration.  I had to wait a whole cycle before i could start a medicated cycle again because the doctor over stimulated my ovaries back in 2010. (WHICH SUCKED!!!)  it cause a could of cysts and i still had like 3 lead follicles left over from the previous medications...i wasn't very happy!  Sending out big big hugs!!


Deborah:   It's so wonderful how good your eggs are doing!!! I hope that this current cycle is quick so you can get to getting on with the next cycle for your egg retrieval!  Got my fingers and toes crossed for you!!


Stevi: I hope that this is your cycle!!! ****all of the following is being said to your eggs and ovaries and such hehe)    COME ON EGGIES!!!!! GROW AND OVULATE....THEN INVITE A REALLY HANDSOME SPERM IN TO STAY!!!!  ;)     THEN YOU GOTTA FIND A GREAT LITTLE SPOT IN THE UTERUS WHERE SAID EGG CAN GROW, DIVIDE, AND MULTIPLY FOR THE NEXT 9 MONTHS!!!


skj:  I'm so sorry sweetie, big hugs.  I am happy that you're able to find some closure in this though.  I hope that you have a quick recovery after the blooding stops and you are able to continue your TTC journey!


Tickle Toes:  I'm so excited for you!!! YAY!! Hoping for great numbers!  Sending out lots of sticky thoughts!!!


AFM:  I went in for my "mid cycle" blood work and ultrasound after taking Femara on cycle days 5-9....everything is STILL quiet! No change what so ever.  The doctor wants me to start Menopur tomorrow as soon as i get it in from the supply company who is supposed to over night it to me.  I will start with 3 days of 150iuc (i think that's what it is) and then i'll go to 75iuc until monday when i get another u/s and more blood work.  I am grateful that this cycle hasn't been completely lost because i would be highly upset!!!  The nurse did order me 4 or 5 boxes of the menopur and 2 ovidrel's and 2 ganirelix.  I hope i don't have to use the last because that is to stop me from ovulating too early...and i didn't have to do that last time, so i don't know how i'm going to react to it.  I have been an emotional roller coaster today because I just don't know how DH is going to feel about all of this and with him not being able to answer his cell phone at work unless he's on break i've had to make these choices on my own today.  My medications for i think a total of 9 boxes was $198.  I guess that's not too bad...but we are going to have to watch our spending until i get paid again. (i always run a little short on the last pay check of the month because of our house payment darn thing lol).  I do know that $198 is much better than what it could be though.

post #155 of 172

Brichole1214...   Awww! Thanks. I hope this cycle leads to blue booties for you! lol


Tickle Toes...   Congratulations!!! I hope those numbers are fantastic, and you get nothing but textbook pregnancy tests, and a perfect birth!


AAM...   Ovulation is over, a little later than I'm used to, but that's probably due to the Clomid. Tomorrow I will start the Progesterone suppositories.


Think Fertile Thoughts!

post #156 of 172

Thanks, ladies!


SKJ - I'm glad you are finding some closure and will be able to move on soon. I hope that your numbers drop swiftly and the rest is easy on you.


Sila - I remember being so pissed off when I went in for testing after my last miscarriage. I didn't necessarily want anything to be wrong with me, but I did want some answers. Hearing that all of my tests were great was incredibly annoying. It left me feeling like the unluckiest person on the planet. It seems weird to type this out, but reading your comment about how you felt good knowing everything wasn't exactly perfect resonated with me.


Brichole - I'm glad you are able to do more during this cycle. Best of luck!




I peed on another stick this morning and it was darker than yesterday's. My first beta results came in this morning and were at 146.8 - that is the highest number I've EVER had... so that is really encouraging. With my first pregnancy, my numbers never got high enough for an hpt to read positive - and I declined bloodwork to track the hcg because I had lost the baby before anything had been confirmed and my doctor didn't make it seem important. With my second pregnancy, I got a positive test on a Friday and made an appointment with my doc for the following Wednesday. Then I started miscarrying Monday night and went to the ER. By the time they did a beta test, my hcg was either 26 or 51... depending on who you asked (long, horrible story). With my third pregnancy, the first beta was something ridiculously low... then it was 76... then 117ish and then it started to drop.


So, I'm really hoping that tomorrow's number is well over 300. They are going to do several more betas after that to monitor me and keep me reassured that things are going well.


Yesterday I was elated, this morning I was terrified, now I'm feeling cautiously optimistic. I've had a bunch of reflux today and nearly got sick at lunch... so I'm taking that as a positive sign. Throwing up makes me cry and I'm really not looking forward to it... but I do have to say that a part of my mind would be more at ease.




post #157 of 172

TickleToes! Congratulations! That is a great beta, and I am sending vibes that your next beta increases nicely. Stick little bean! Stick!


SKJ - I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I've also had a miscarriage with ambiguous and low betas. Being in limbo is really, really hard. Sending light and love. 

post #158 of 172

TickleToes- That beta is higher than mine with the boys was. I had a pretty early one though. Brichole- Thanks! Here are Halloween pictures for you all.



This is a link to her picture from the Howloween party. If you like it, click on it and vote for it please (if you are willing to do so). She's in the lead at the moment for the costume contest, but the fairy dog is in a relatively close second. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=520098124669083&set=a.520097894669106.124089.209827682362797&type=3&theater


If you don't have Facebook or don't want to go to the link, here's are a couple for you to look at:



700 700











post #159 of 172

TinkleToes - CONGRATS!!!!  Yay!   I really hope you continue to see your numbers going up.  Sticky vibes to your belly!!! joy.gif


Stevi - Boo for suppositories.  They are what works best for me too but ugh... they are yucky! 


Brichole - that is cheap for all the meds you described getting!  One Ovidrel for me is $104 and that's with insurance.  


Sila - I hope you can get some things figured out.  It definitely sucks to not know what is causing our problems! 


SKJ - So sorry hun.  There are no correct words as you know but I am glad that you seem to be accepting the loss well.  Hugs to you! hug2.gif


AFM - TMI alert - seriously.  I am not medicated this cycle.  DH is going on a hunting trip during CDs10-16 so there is just no way when I typically O around CD14.  Anyway, I stink.  A sweet, sour smell.  Ewwwwww....  So four months ago (or five?) I had a pap and told the RE that it smelled.  He said it was probably a bacteria infection and gave me a gel med.  That worked.  Then same thing next month and I did the gel again.  The third month wasn't too bad.  It's back again big time!  Ew, ew, ew.  (I told you TMI!)  Anyone ever had this?  I've never had anything like this before.  I feel like it's connected to taking these fertility meds.  We're pretty open around here so... anybody else experience this? Thanks... 


I will not do another cycle (as that will probably be my last due to $$) until this is cleared up.  If I've got bacteria or whatever, nothing is going to grow in there!  DH is pretty ticked off that this keeps coming back because I told the RE about it and he was pretty passive about it (but did give me the meds).

post #160 of 172

Krunchy - thanks! Feel free to tell me how great my number is anytime. I'm living off of that sort of reassurance right now. winky.gif


Deborah - OMG- your doggy-bee is SO cute! Did you make your costumes?


Plane - Is it possible that your DH also has some bacteria and has been passing it back to you? I hope you can get it cleared up soon. That really sucks.

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