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October 2012 Rockstar Mamas - Page 14post #261 of 38510/25/12 at 3:11pmpost #262 of 38510/25/12 at 4:45pm
Relationship stuff is so hard when everyone is tired and overextended! I try to aim for DTD at least once a week. When I'm fertile, I'm much more inclined to DTD. The rest of my cycle, I really have to work at it. One of my DH's love languages is words of affirmation so he's always telling me nice stuff about how he appreciates me and loves me and I'm an awesome mom. But I'd rather he shut his trap and do some work around the house! Isn't that funny? And I run around like a nut trying to do a gazillion things and he gets upset because I don't tell him how much I appreciate him. Ya can't win...
AFM, spotting has started so no babe this cycle.post #263 of 38510/25/12 at 5:49pm
Oh that is too funny! And I can totally see how that would also be annoying and frustrating. Tonight DH totally rocked it out. He worked HARD today (busy at work, nonstop) came down and made dinner, cleaned the kitchen, hung out with us, helped get the kids ready for bed, made Nora's lunch for tmw, and is now rocking finn to sleep b/c he wouldn't nurse down (crazy child is exhausted, no idea why he didn't). I appreciate this help so so much! So what is wrong with me?? What is my issue that if/when he comes out and wants sexy time, why do I act annoyed and bothered??
So beat. Hoping sleep is better tonight, but I'm not holding my breath!post #264 of 38510/25/12 at 7:28pmThread StarterIDK if dh doesn't want us to go. He didn't say anything one way or the other. He did come home tonight and help me pack after dinner. I made a comment about him wanting to get rid of us, which he denied. He just figured he'd help since I wasn't motivated. He also brought home a bottle of wine and (tried) to drink a glass with me. Makes me suspicious.
The love languages can be frustrating sometimes. They can also be good to know because you can stop yourself when you start to get annoyed and remember what's really going on. Rather than thinking that your partner doesn't love you because he didn't tell you that he loves you a gazillion times, you can remember that he showed his love when he made sure your car had gas, your tires were properly inflated and the maintenance was up to date.post #265 of 38510/25/12 at 7:30pmThread StarterAnd, Carrie, it can take a while to get over resentments. One day of making an effort doesn't necessarily fix everything, especially if you feel like it was only done so he could get sex and won't be a regular thing. Definitely show him you appreciate what he has done (and I don't necessarily mean with sex). If you don't, he may not bother next time.post #266 of 38510/26/12 at 5:34am
I really need to read this love languages book. It sounds like it would really help us where we are at in our relationship.
I did thank him! And not with sex. LOL. I really let him know that I appreciated all he did and even pointed out that I knew he had a tough day and still totally did all that stuff and more.
We stayed up til 11 watching a dumb horror movie. Sigh. When will I learn to just watch a 30 min show with him and then go to bed???
I need more coffee. Another not so great - but not terrible - night. Soon they start sleeping better, right? I think even Nora was mostly sttn by 18 months...
I thought Finn was feeling heavier so I weighed him on my scale this am. Yep! 29.4 lbs. Oye!post #267 of 38510/26/12 at 5:45am
ITA with MW: let him know it's appreciated - one way or another.
I don't really have a "goal" of how often to have sex. I have an ideal (EOD or once every 3 days - but if we have back-to-back days I need a day or two off to recover) But I think the actuality is more like twice a week. And considering in my first pregnancy, I think we DTD maybe once a trimester, except at the very end when we were trying to help encourage labor, that's a big improvement. It was slightly better in Norah's pregnancy, I think it was like once a month. We have never DTD so often, or so regularly than since she's been born. I am very happy about that. When we were going through long dry spells, it was so easy to say 'it's been a week, a month, 6 weeks, what's one more night?' and keep putting it off it's easier to initiate and stuff when there isn't such a high rate of being turned down, I'll admit.
Busy weekend ahead, full of birthday parties, etc. Need to clean today!post #268 of 38510/26/12 at 6:13am
I could do twice a week. I think that's reasonable. I think we do that often, but then get busy/tired/grouchy and fall behind, and then it's harder to get back into the routine, like you're saying.
Anyone else watching this hurricane sandy stuff? I'm super bummed it's going to wash out my kid's first ever halloween parade. I know, lame to complain about that when it's causing such destruction, but still. If I'm being honest...
Yay parties! I'm so partied out! I'm def cleaned out! I know that's why I can't get my head around any cleaning lately!!!post #269 of 38510/26/12 at 6:59ampost #270 of 38510/26/12 at 7:19amArgh! So frustrated! My mom is always promising to come take Ava for a few hours so I can do some heavy duty cleaning and every single time, she bails. She promised to come get Ava this morning but she woke up with a headache. Ugh. I just need like two solid hours. My house is not that effing big. Ok rant over. I don't know what to think about the storm. I need to get some batteries for my pump. And hope I can find a friend with power if we lose it so I can take my frozen milk over there.post #271 of 38510/26/12 at 10:16am
UGH! Yes, that would frustrate me too. I rarely get much deep cleaning done. Honestly it's b/c they just follow me everywhere. I realized that's why I rarely go into the basement or into my room even, b/c whenever I go anywhere they follow me! Gets really old!
I'm not sure what I think either except that I'm glad I bought wine and whiskey just in case we are trapped inside for a few days.
I really hope Nora has her Halloween party at school. Even if they cancel the parade, I still want her to have this!
I'm starting WW again (started yesterday) and man. I was really eating a ton of crap. Day 2 and already I feel better! I'm ready to look as good as I feel!post #272 of 38510/26/12 at 10:53amI need to do stuff like vacuum the cobwebs from every corner of every room, scrub the floors, sort some of the clutter on the kitchen counter, etc. Ava follows me around everywhere too. Apparently she doesn't do that with DH because last Sat afternoon, after Ava had literally chased me from room to room and was in the middle of begging me to hold her while I pumped, DH asked "Is this what she does every day?" Ummmmm, yes. WW...yeah that's so not happening right now. Just got back from WF with two bottles of red wine and a brownie the size of my face! And as soon as I'm done pumping, I'm taking a nap with Ava!post #273 of 38510/26/12 at 11:56am
I'm so hungry this time. I think I was really comforting myself with food -- chips, especially. I was buying salt and vinegar chips and going thru the whole bag in like 2 days. And then I'd buy more. Not so healthy!
I think the way I was compensating for the sleep deprivation and all was with food. I'm tired, ok, I'll go get a 12" sub with chips and soda. Done. Sigh. It's hard to face reality! I think I'll actually have more energy though with eating healthy. So far today I've had coffee, a huge spinach salad, and a small sandwich with soy turkey slices. I need to drink more water.
I picked up a box of hair color while I was out. I think I'm going to do it tonight! I'll see. Time to ditch the brassy highlights!post #274 of 38510/27/12 at 11:25am
I've got like 12 seconds before tenley decides she's bored and starts bugging me again, but any good thoughts, prayers, wishes that you guys have, would be graciously accepted this way. I spent the morning at the hospital with my backup doula. She's 19 weeks pregnant, and has been having pretty much constant bleeding with off and on gushes since 12 weeks. She's been diagnosed with a partial placental abruption, and the doctor is recommending termination, and she is completely torn about what to do. The baby is so far completely healthy, but it's been very hard on her physically, as well as emotionally obviously. She's worried she'll have a full abruption at home, or with her other kids, and not make it, so she's very much considering the termination, but can't bring herself to make the decision. So just... any peace and good thoughts sent her way! My heart is breaking for her. This was a very much wanted pregnancy, and her first boy after 3 girls. The best they can offer her right now is to hope she can hold on until 24 weeks without a full abruption. But there's nothing they can -do- to help. She's just... waiting. :(post #275 of 38510/27/12 at 12:25pmpost #276 of 38510/27/12 at 6:30pmpost #277 of 38510/27/12 at 8:34pm
Ugh. I keep coming back to try to write more, and I don't know how without writing a novel. I feel horrible for her. She keeps saying it would be easier if the fetal assessment showed the baby was sick or in danger or something, but right now, they say the baby looks perfect. And she just kept saying "I don't know if I can do that to him... he's healthy, and then he would be... gone...." But then she's also worried about her health as well, obviously. She's been in the hospital several times, and obviously is super low on iron, and her hemoglobin is all out of whack. They've got blood on standby for her. She woke up Wednesday night in a pool of blood at home. So she's terrified that it'll happen again, and she'll pass out from the blood loss before she technically wakes up, and her kids will find her in a pool of her own blood.
I just... I can't imagine trying to make the choice. She's pretty pro-life too, but I mean, this is one of those "less than 1% chance" situations that you hear about. They won't consider the baby viable until 24 weeks, and even then, it's only about a 55% survival rate. So she would have to go through another 5 weeks, day by day, watching the bleeding and hoping she doesn't have a full abruption while she's at home (they want to send her home to just... wait.). And even waiting those 5 weeks doesn't guarantee anything. Ideally it would be 10 weeks. At 29 weeks, they're giving it more like 95% survival, although obviously that's not without complications!
She's worried that her husband won't be able to forgive her if she terminates. BUt also is worried if she doesn't her own life is at risk. Yesterday morning she said she woke up, completely at peace that termination was the only answer. And then today after the assessment, thinks she can't go through with it... but still doesn't know.
And since she's so far along, if they do terminate, she'll birth the baby. She asked if she could be put out for it, and was told they don't usually do that. That some doctors might, but it's not typical. So she might have to go through a labor with him anyways, knowing that there's no way he'll survive. I can't imagine that either. 19 weeks is... big. That's a baby. I worry that if she does get put out, and doesn't get a chance to say goodbye and hold him, that she'll regret it. I want to send her info on the Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep program, but don't want to offend or upset her either.
deep breath. SO much emotion tied up in this. My heart just aches for her.post #278 of 38510/27/12 at 8:49pmOh my god. So terrible all around. Is it not possible for her to go on complete bedrest or be admitted to the hospital? I can't imagine choosing to kill my baby. I just can't. Oh that poor mama! I just heard from a friend that a girl we went to high school with just birthed her 20w twins due to incompetent cervix. They didn't survive obviously. Oh I just can't imagine the heartache.post #279 of 38510/27/12 at 8:59pmApparently the doc told her that bed rest in these cases won't actually help. He's not sure she beliefs that as she feels like the bleeding has been less in days she's taken it really early, but who knows. She's been pretty sick though, so she's been pretty close to be bed rest for the hole pregnancy anyways. I'm not really sure why they're not keeping her in the hospital but I think part of it is her emotional state at not seeing her other children. For some reason her husband isn't bringing them by very often- she hasn't seen them in 2 ad 3 days she's got a 3 yo tht is very upset about mama being gone. She's staying inhospitable until mon/tues but technically he dr said she could go home now f she wanted. I can't imagine how staying fist beneficial, but then I'm not a dr and haven't done a to. Of research on abrupt ions.
Ps I both love and hate autocorrect but am way too lazy to go back a d fix all that. I think you get the gist.post #280 of 38510/28/12 at 8:55am
This is me being naive - what happens if she has a full abruption at home? Is her life also in danger?
Not nearly as bad but I also am going thru something with a friend. She is hoping for a vbac and is now 41 weeks. Her mw wants her to do castor oil tmw, or induce on Tuesday. My friend isn't happy with these options at all, so she asked for more time. If she doesn't go into labor on her own by this coming Friday, she has to have another csec on Monday. She is just so beside herself. :-( The OB won't do an induction after 41 weeks 1 day. So lame. So so so lame. All she wants is what she deserves, a TOL. Not fair.
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