Im sorry venting is always welcome here.
First of all, don't feel guilty about things that are out of your control. Your dh is an adult, and if he chooses a different diet etc than you, pressuring or forcing him to change isnt going to work; the best you can do is live out a good example and hope he joins in.
do you feel comfortable talking to your midwife about this, and particularly asking if these are strict requirements? It may just be that they strongly encourage these things, but if you/dh are feeling pressured to meet specific rules, maybe the midwife isn't the best fit. And, it's important that you feel comfortable enough with your care provider to discuss any concerns like this.. she's going to be involved in a very big, intimate part of your life.
If this were my dh, I would think he's acting that way because he doesn't like feeling forced to follow along with the rules that are meant for you. Have you talked with him about the more general reasons behind it- that you need/want to be healthy as the baby is growing inside you and it would be helpful to have support/ someone going through it with you? If you're the primary cooker/ grocery shopper in the house, you can certainly have some influence with the diet you want to follow by cooking some good meals and leaving it up to him if he wants to go out and buy sugary food. (my dh is too lazy to do shopping so he makes do with what I buy)
After 2 kids, I will say it is much easier to "do as I say, not as I do", meaning my dh and I are commited to feed our children a fairly healthy diet and get plenty of exercise, even though we can be caught eating plenty of junk food and soda ourselves and sitting on the couch.. My dh even agreed to raise our kids vegetarian, and sure enough a year later, he joined in too. It's hard being the odd man out!
As for the tea, I always heard it was best to wait until the 2nd trimester to start that anyways. Don't feel bad about what you haven't done, just look forward and start it up if you feel it's good for you. Maybe it can be a relaxing treat when you return from your walk to warm you up again.
And the prenatal is so very important- don't give up on it, just keep testing them out until you find a good one. Besides the basic ones, there are gummies, chewables, and yes, liquids. I used t just take 2 flintstones.
Hang in there, and try not to be too hard on yourself! It so easy with the first pregnancy to get worried and obsessed over what is the best way to do things, but just take it in stride; even if you don't follow the rules and regulations, your baby will likely turn out just fine and healthy! They are very resilient little beans!
Edited by Oliver's Mama - 10/10/12 at 5:46am