I have a 2.5 year old son, J. My husband recently got a job out of town, so it's just J and I, all day. We have always practiced attachment parents - babywearing, J still nurses, co-sleeping, the whole nine yards. I firmly believe it's the best start in life you can give a child to parent them this way, and creates the best relationships between parent and child. AT least, that's what I believe in theory.
J doesn't listen to me. From the little things to the big thing,s none of it. And when we are out with my parents or the in-laws, his behavior is just out of control. I'm sure I'm just over-exaggerating some of this because of my current mental state, but it feels like I can't get him to listen. I say "J, please don't dump your balls on the ground" and he looks at me as he dumps the bucket. Biting, hitting. Some of these I think are regressive behaviors because his dad is gone. But I need a kid who works with me, at least a little.
Sleeping times and nursing are becoming a problem, too. I am newly pregnant and nursing is really hurting. Because of my old working schedule, J pretty much nurses only at night, and at naptime when I'm putting him down for a nap. I wanted to let him wean himself when he was ready, but I'm beginning to think that's not possible. We've been doing"Okay, one milk on each side, then milk is going to sleep until the sun comes up" and he'll even repeat it to me, or tell me before I get a chance to say it, so I know it's sticking. It went great for 3 or 4 nights, and now it's nothing but a struggle. A 2.5 year old kicking and screaming and losing it when I tell him milk is sleeping. I just got done with a 1.5 hour struggle to get him to go down for a nap. This included a lot of nursing and me actually in tears because of the pain, but I just didn't know what else to do.
Eating has also become a struggle. He used to eat all kinds of things, but now all he wants is rice, potatoes, and chicken. Vegetables are a true rarity, and fruits are shot beyond the occasional apple or banana. He is nursing so much that I don't think he is hungry, but I want him to start eating more and nursing less. We're having issues getting there, though.
At some point, I've crossed over from a respectful AP relationship to being bossed around by a toddler. I cannot let him decide everything. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Whether that is early pregnancy hormones, being an essentially single mom of a toddler, or simply the truth, I don't know.
Any suggestions, or requests for clarification, are so, so very appreciated.