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October Cozy Pagan Chat - Page 2

post #21 of 96

DH has made it officially to the 2nd round.
 

He has to teach a lesson....at 7:30 AM. This school is half an hour away from where we live (back roads), and DD's school is 20 minutes away from where we live...in the opposite direction. Because of how my schools schedule, I only have one class that day, so I'm getting a substitute, so I can take DD to school.

 

If Dh gets this job, we have to hire a nanny to take care of DD and get her to school 4 days a week. And we have to buy a 2nd car. And it's just a long term sub position. The teaching he'd be subbing for could come back in December, February, June, or not at all. 

 

This is so stressful.

post #22 of 96

Hi Mamas!  Thanks for all the love and advice!  Surgery went well... was put to sleep and then woke up telling the doctor and nurse we needed to have a dance party.  I was pretty insistent.  What can I say?  I was super drugged up and "girls just wanna have fun" was on the radio.  (or so my sister tells me).  I seem to be healing pretty well now.  I'm on pain meds, doing salty swishes, trying not to be a serious B to DH.  For some reason everything he does/says is making me insane.  ?  I'm blaming it on the surgery and lack of real food.  I'm usually pretty kind to my DH!!  redface.gif  

 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post

 

1) We look at pix, too, but I think the point of the tree, especially at that age (she's 3, right?) is to start to point out the relationships of the people. My ds is 11y8m and he still mixes up my nieces, his half-sister, and our babysitter (that sat him from age 2-9), because they're all the same age, roughly. But when kids are that little, 3ish or just a bit more, they don't get that parents have kids who become parents that have kids who...begot THEM, at some point. Y'know? I remember my son saying, about my mom, "when you used to have a mom" as if she stopped being my mom because I got older and had my own kid lol.gif He just.did.not.get that she was still my mom. So, the tree. I came from her and my dad, each of them were young once and had parents...and so on.

 

2) Happy birthday! Look-- I am nearly 53 and yes, life gets better and better, truly it does. I have no qualms about telling people my age. Actually it's fun because mostly I know I don't look anywhere near my age (nor act it, heehee) and so I just get a bang out of shocking people mischievous.gif

Yes, Maia, for sure getting Z to understand the relationships is the most important part.  I think my tanget of regret was directed at my DH not knowing much about his family.  I hope the tree can help him connect to his roots, too.

 

I believe you 150% that life continues to get better.  I don't know why I have this fear that one day I'm going to wake up and be like so many people I see around me who are full of complaining about small stuff, living in what seems like a haze of bitterness and anger and seriously just complaining all. the. damn. time.  I always wonder how people get to be that way and I'm scared I could become like that, you know?  I don't THINK I will.  On normal days I feel pretty full of sunshine and yes, I complain, but you know the Eeyore types... I had a friend pass away from an accidental shooting when I was 13 years old.  I was deeply affected by it and realized that tomorrow is never guaranteed at such a young age which I think helps me to have a positive outlook... I'm rambling here... but I think y'all get my drift... ??  

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by revolting View Post

 

I'm totally stressed out about moving. Trying not to think about it right now, since I don't join my husband out there until tomorrow and there's nothing I can do from here.

om.gif  ommm... to you.  I send you lots of patience getting through every step it takes to get the house ready and move and all that jazz.  

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aubergine68 View Post

 

 

Yes, he is Catholic.  I came from a background of very liberal UU-like (my parents) and conservative Baptist like (some of my extended family).  My Baptist grandmother thought me marrying a Catholic was pretty much the same as going Pagan....I was very attracted by the (for lack of a better word) magical elements of Catholicism.  I now see it as a step on the journey to an even more magickal spiritual journey.  I did make the commitment to raise my children as Catholics, though I'm not sure I would now -- and I'm not sure my dh would now ask it of me as he has become less Catholic over the years in many ways. Certainly his family are pretty liberal in their approach to Catholicism.  Anyway, an oath is an oath.  We are getting the children through their First Communion and letting them decide about Confirmation.  My oldest went for it, but the others have a few years to go yet.  I expect that after they have all gone through it, I will return to attending the sort of very liberal church I attended as a child.  Or I may seek out a Pagan community, though I'm not aware of one near me.  An earth-based spirituality is very important to me.

 

I respect your "an oath is an oath" mentality.  Do your children know you made that oath and how your spiritual beliefs line up?  I would think that them knowing that you made that oath and followed through on it would be a really amazing spiritual lesson.  

 

 

He has to teach a lesson....at 7:30 AM. This school is half an hour away from where we live (back roads), and DD's school is 20 minutes away from where we live...in the opposite direction. Because of how my schools schedule, I only have one class that day, so I'm getting a substitute, so I can take DD to school.

 

If Dh gets this job, we have to hire a nanny to take care of DD and get her to school 4 days a week. And we have to buy a 2nd car. And it's just a long term sub position. The teaching he'd be subbing for could come back in December, February, June, or not at all. 

 

This is so stressful.

Witchy!  Wow.  That sounds very complicated and like you have some numbers to run through if he gets the job.  I will be thinking of you.  

 

What is everyone up to this weekend?  Obviously, I'm spending a lot of time on the couch, watching movies from the 90s and reading magazines.  I hope everyone has a good, simple weekend. 

post #23 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by witchygrrl View PostIf Dh gets this job, we have to hire a nanny to take care of DD and get her to school 4 days a week.

 

Oh, I so wish I could do that for you! I wish you owned the upstairs place so that you could kick out the current tenants and we could move in and I could nanny for partial rent. That would be so divine.

 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by vydalea View Post I don't know why I have this fear that one day I'm going to wake up and be like so many people I see around me who are full of complaining about small stuff, living in what seems like a haze of bitterness and anger and seriously just complaining all. the. damn. time. 

What is everyone up to this weekend?  Obviously, I'm spending a lot of time on the couch, watching movies from the 90s and reading magazines.  I hope everyone has a good, simple weekend. 

 

I know! I do NOT want to be like all the old people I know. Including my own mom! She's going to be 76 in December. And I wonder if she's always been so crotchety or is just getting that way?

My brother's girls are 23 and 18, while my ds is only 11, and he says she was always like that. Even though he's younger than me by 3.4 years, he has a leg up on remembering what my mom was like when his girls were little. She hasn't changed in that dept. She's a "glam-ma", not a "grandma"... *sigh*. She loves all her grandkids, but would NEVER get down on the floor with them. And her expectations for behavior are WAY too high.

I have noticed that my own morals have gotten more conservative over the years. My politics are still way liberal. I'm a weird mix. I think it's appalling, for instance, wearing a mini-dress in church (any church), and I don't like seeing what I think is the moral degradation of the US. We've gone SO downhill. We have no respect anymore and I think that's awful-- however, I don't think it has anything to do with removing prayer in school lol.gif

I mean-- yesterday, I saw a small bumper sticker on the back of a vehicle. It was the gay rainbow-flag with "F**K HATE" in large letters superimposed. Now, I understand that gays should have equal rights. I'm all for it. I can't stand the atmosphere of hate surrounding minorities. However, the F-word, right there on the back of a truck? What if my ds was just learning to read? How do I explain that? That is NOT NOT NOT OK in my book. Swear words should remain swear words. They have their place, but on the back of a truck where anyone can see it is NOT it.

When I was a kid, the word s*cks was just as bad if not worse than f*ck. I would have had my mouth washed out with soap for saying that in front of my parents. Or any adult. Now, it's so commonplace that my ds11 has trouble believing it was ever a Bad Word. I think that kind of thing is too bad. I would like to see us returning to more respectful behavior and decorum in public.

 

That said, I'm glad my 75yo mom is still a leadfoot in the car ROTFLMAO.gif-- at least she doesn't drive like Florida Old People.

post #24 of 96
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by vydalea View Post

Hi Mamas!  Thanks for all the love and advice!  Surgery went well... was put to sleep and then woke up telling the doctor and nurse we needed to have a dance party.  

 

A dance party! ROTFLMAO.gif  Too funny!  

How are you feeling now?

post #25 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aubergine68 View Post

 

 

Yes, he is Catholic.  I came from a background of very liberal UU-like (my parents) and conservative Baptist like (some of my extended family).  My Baptist grandmother thought me marrying a Catholic was pretty much the same as going Pagan....I was very attracted by the (for lack of a better word) magical elements of Catholicism.  I now see it as a step on the journey to an even more magickal spiritual journey.  I did make the commitment to raise my children as Catholics, though I'm not sure I would now -- and I'm not sure my dh would now ask it of me as he has become less Catholic over the years in many ways. Certainly his family are pretty liberal in their approach to Catholicism.  Anyway, an oath is an oath.  We are getting the children through their First Communion and letting them decide about Confirmation.  My oldest went for it, but the others have a few years to go yet.  I expect that after they have all gone through it, I will return to attending the sort of very liberal church I attended as a child.  Or I may seek out a Pagan community, though I'm not aware of one near me.  An earth-based spirituality is very important to me.

 

Hope the move goes well.  Just googled lunaception - interesting.  I've done the fertility awareness method, but not since dh got snipped a few years ago (as I said, not a conservative Catholic),   My dd and I have not synchronized cycles, which surprises me a bit. I'll have to discuss that with her. 

 

What an interesting spiritual journey. What does your eldest think of having a Pagan mama raising her Catholic?

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by witchygrrl View Post

DH has made it officially to the 2nd round.
 

He has to teach a lesson....at 7:30 AM. This school is half an hour away from where we live (back roads), and DD's school is 20 minutes away from where we live...in the opposite direction. Because of how my schools schedule, I only have one class that day, so I'm getting a substitute, so I can take DD to school.

 

If Dh gets this job, we have to hire a nanny to take care of DD and get her to school 4 days a week. And we have to buy a 2nd car. And it's just a long term sub position. The teaching he'd be subbing for could come back in December, February, June, or not at all. 

 

This is so stressful.

 

 

So much uncertainty! I hope everything works out for the best, mama!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by vydalea View Post

Hi Mamas!  Thanks for all the love and advice!  Surgery went well... was put to sleep and then woke up telling the doctor and nurse we needed to have a dance party.  I was pretty insistent.  What can I say?  I was super drugged up and "girls just wanna have fun" was on the radio.  (or so my sister tells me).  I seem to be healing pretty well now.  I'm on pain meds, doing salty swishes, trying not to be a serious B to DH.  For some reason everything he does/says is making me insane.  ?  I'm blaming it on the surgery and lack of real food.  I'm usually pretty kind to my DH!!  redface.gif  

Yes, Maia, for sure getting Z to understand the relationships is the most important part.  I think my tanget of regret was directed at my DH not knowing much about his family.  I hope the tree can help him connect to his roots, too.

 

I believe you 150% that life continues to get better.  I don't know why I have this fear that one day I'm going to wake up and be like so many people I see around me who are full of complaining about small stuff, living in what seems like a haze of bitterness and anger and seriously just complaining all. the. damn. time.  I always wonder how people get to be that way and I'm scared I could become like that, you know?  I don't THINK I will.  On normal days I feel pretty full of sunshine and yes, I complain, but you know the Eeyore types... I had a friend pass away from an accidental shooting when I was 13 years old.  I was deeply affected by it and realized that tomorrow is never guaranteed at such a young age which I think helps me to have a positive outlook... I'm rambling here... but I think y'all get my drift... ??  

 

I respect your "an oath is an oath" mentality.  Do your children know you made that oath and how your spiritual beliefs line up?  I would think that them knowing that you made that oath and followed through on it would be a really amazing spiritual lesson.  

 

Witchy!  Wow.  That sounds very complicated and like you have some numbers to run through if he gets the job.  I will be thinking of you.  

 

What is everyone up to this weekend?  Obviously, I'm spending a lot of time on the couch, watching movies from the 90s and reading magazines.  I hope everyone has a good, simple weekend. 

 

LOL on the dance party! How's the healing coming? We worked on the house and worked on the house and bickered some about how to work on the house and worked on the house. I'm so eager to just MOVE already!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post

 

 

I have noticed that my own morals have gotten more conservative over the years. My politics are still way liberal. I'm a weird mix. I think it's appalling, for instance, wearing a mini-dress in church (any church), and I don't like seeing what I think is the moral degradation of the US. We've gone SO downhill. We have no respect anymore and I think that's awful-- however, I don't think it has anything to do with removing prayer in school lol.gif

I mean-- yesterday, I saw a small bumper sticker on the back of a vehicle. It was the gay rainbow-flag with "F**K HATE" in large letters superimposed. Now, I understand that gays should have equal rights. I'm all for it. I can't stand the atmosphere of hate surrounding minorities. However, the F-word, right there on the back of a truck? What if my ds was just learning to read? How do I explain that? That is NOT NOT NOT OK in my book. Swear words should remain swear words. They have their place, but on the back of a truck where anyone can see it is NOT it.

When I was a kid, the word s*cks was just as bad if not worse than f*ck. I would have had my mouth washed out with soap for saying that in front of my parents. Or any adult. Now, it's so commonplace that my ds11 has trouble believing it was ever a Bad Word. I think that kind of thing is too bad. I would like to see us returning to more respectful behavior and decorum in public.

 

That said, I'm glad my 75yo mom is still a leadfoot in the car ROTFLMAO.gif-- at least she doesn't drive like Florida Old People.

 

 

I've become more conservative since becoming a mama, but I was so far left to begin with that people still think I'm pretty liberal. I'd love to see more respect in public spaces, but mini dresses don't bother me. I'd love it if as a culture we became better about respecting each others' time (like so many people just sort of schedule everything with the assumption that it will actually start about half an hour later than agreed upon); smoking in public places was about as acceptable as pooping in public; etc... But I don't mind if my kids swear if it's done in a respectful way (only in front of people they know wouldn't be offended like me; not done to insult someone; etc...).

 

My SIL called this morning. She lives out of state but is in town due to green card stuff, and now she wants to come over for dinner. I'm trying not to freak out: we're in the process of moving with kids, so it's okay the house is kinda messy, right? Of course she doesn't have kids...

post #26 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by revolting View PostI've become more conservative since becoming a mama, but I was so far left to begin with that people still think I'm pretty liberal. I'd love to see more respect in public spaces, but mini dresses don't bother me. I'd love it if as a culture we became better about respecting each others' time (like so many people just sort of schedule everything with the assumption that it will actually start about half an hour later than agreed upon); smoking in public places was about as acceptable as pooping in public; etc... But I don't mind if my kids swear if it's done in a respectful way (only in front of people they know wouldn't be offended like me; not done to insult someone; etc...).

 

My SIL called this morning. She lives out of state but is in town due to green card stuff, and now she wants to come over for dinner. I'm trying not to freak out: we're in the process of moving with kids, so it's okay the house is kinda messy, right? Of course she doesn't have kids...

 

I'm politically liberal as heck. Mini dresses don't bother me, either-- but in their place, and church is not it. People are not there to show off their bodies, but to commune with the Divine, and clothing can be distracting in that regard!

Pagan Standard Time-- ain't nothing more rude than that, IMO. I agree about respectful of time!

My ds asked, a couple of years ago-- he was about 8-- when he would be allowed to swear. I told him that when he is able to catch himself and NOT swear, in the proper company, then he could. For instance, he has to be able to not slip in front of my mom, in church, in front of me or any other adult, at school...you get it. If he is playing in the backyard and stubs his toe and my bedroom window is open and I might be in there, nope, no swearing. Needless to say, he is not allowed to swear yet lol.gif

 

Your SIL-- heck, yes, it's fine if the house is kinda messy. You're moving. You have kids. She can Deal With It, right?

 

M has 44 days sober today! On purpose! joy.gif

post #27 of 96
Joining in - I've spent the past couple of months really thinking about what I believe and realized that I'm Pagan! I believe in the sacredness of Nature and that's there's an energy/spirit(?) that connects every living thing together. I believe in random reincarnation. At least that's what I've concluded so far. Still figuring out other stuff but I feel comfortable calling myself a Pagan.

I want my family to celebrate the seasons and the power of Nature so we're going to celebrate Samhain this year! I'm planning on cooking a whole chicken I have in the freezer and cooking seasonal veggies - a feast! As far as the spiritual side...not sure. I was thinking about honoring the dead and setting a place for them but I don't want our first Pagan holiday to be too morbid. Any ideas? What does your family do? This is my first year in San Diego after living all my life in Seattle and it doesn't feel like Fall at all. Thanks!!
post #28 of 96

Welcome kaydove!  If we lived so close to Mexico, I'd definitely be investigating any Day of the Dead celebrations near home.  Visiting a parade or a Mexican market or a cemetery, especially a historic one, or a memorial of some sort would be potentially great family outings do, even if you don't personally have ancestors buried near you.  You could go through photo albums or collect pictures of your own ancestors and teach your children about them, maybe.

We celebrate Halloween, La Dia de los Muertos and All Saints Day (we go to a party where we come as our fave saint, real or legendary.)  I mention Samhain, but do not insist upon that observance.  One of the things I love about this time of year is that I do NOT feel obligated to prepare a feast.  I do not actually like "food holidays" much.   On November 11, we celebrate Remembrance Day (the Canadian version of Memorial Day) and so there is a Samhainish window of time in early November where we remember loved ones who have passed on and also those who have died in wars past and present.  

 

 

 Well, I don't actually call myself Pagan - I say "spiritually eclectic" or that I have never left my first UUlike upbringing and that it is a big enough spiritual umbrella to accommodate a couple of decades of a side adventure in raising my children in Catholicism. They are aware that mom converses with plants and trees and follows the moon and dabbles in spells and oracles and astrology and yoga and chakra meditation and does Treasure Maps and all sorts of New Agery. We sweep out our house every new moon and ring a bell on some of them to clean out negative energy, for example - my kids love doing this.   My dd does some of the oracle stuff herself, though the teachings of the RC church are against it. The children  are aware of and support my dh and I's beliefs in equal rights for LGBT people and for women, the use of birth control, etc. etc. They even share them at church groups - my youngest piped up once and explained that in our country (Canada) boys can marry boys when they grow up, but just not in the Catholic church. No one argued with him. We do not pretend to be a "good" Catholic family in the sense of 100% supporting the official teachings of the church. We are giving our children the experience of church attendance and the opportunity of initiation into the faith - while exposing them to many other beliefs. They have cousins who were also raised Catholic and have either become more devout than us or who have chosen not to go through with Confirmation and to totally leave the church, so they see both paths as options, I think.


  I am almost constitutionally incapable of wanting to impose my beliefs on other people and incapable of believing that there is any one right way to do anything.  I don't actually have any strict spiritual beliefs or values that I need my children to hold, except tolerance for the beliefs of others. I am grateful to live in a time and place and in a community where I have the freedom to live and believe as I choose. It is not something I take for granted and one of the few things I would fight to protect if I had to.


I didn't actually even want to formally get married - there was lots of divorce in my family  and I didn't believe in marriage, really.  Hated the idea of ever having a wedding, in fact.  But it was important to my dh and so we went through with it.  I do NOT mean to say that my experience is true for anyone else or that divorce is wrong for anyone else or for any particular circumstances.  However, I found to my great surprise that the wedding ceremony really was a Binding with a capital B between dh and I.  I would find it hard to imagine what the spiritual consequences to me personally would be in breaking the vows spoken in that moment, including the vow to raise children in that faith.  I've seen others of the sacraments administered - Confession and Last Rites, especially, and the effect of both can be transformative and powerful.  

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by vydalea View Post

 

I respect your "an oath is an oath" mentality.  Do your children know you made that oath and how your spiritual beliefs line up?  I would think that them knowing that you made that oath and followed through on it would be a really amazing spiritual lesson.  

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by revolting View Post

 

What an interesting spiritual journey. What does your eldest think of having a Pagan mama raising her Catholic?

 

 

 

post #29 of 96

 

Hey, Mamas!!  My teeth are feeling so much better, thank you for asking.  I'm down to just taking OTC pain killers and anitbiotics (to fight bacterial infection) along with salty rinses so life is getting much easier to bare, you know pain wise/food eating wise.  I ate baba ghanouj last night with pita.  Of course, i ripped the pita into pieces the size of my thumbnail but it was NOT yogurt, soup or applesauce so I was in heaven!!  yummy.gif

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by revolting View Post

LOL on the dance party! How's the healing coming? We worked on the house and worked on the house and bickered some about how to work on the house and worked on the house. I'm so eager to just MOVE already!

 

 

 

I've become more conservative since becoming a mama, but I was so far left to begin with that people still think I'm pretty liberal. I'd love to see more respect in public spaces, but mini dresses don't bother me. I'd love it if as a culture we became better about respecting each others' time (like so many people just sort of schedule everything with the assumption that it will actually start about half an hour later than agreed upon); smoking in public places was about as acceptable as pooping in public; etc... But I don't mind if my kids swear if it's done in a respectful way (only in front of people they know wouldn't be offended like me; not done to insult someone; etc...).

 

My SIL called this morning. She lives out of state but is in town due to green card stuff, and now she wants to come over for dinner. I'm trying not to freak out: we're in the process of moving with kids, so it's okay the house is kinda messy, right? Of course she doesn't have kids...

Did SIL end up coming over?  When I am in similar situations (house is slightly more disastrous than normal mess levels) I just say The house is a mess since child raising in progress!  Or something along those lines.  I saw it on pinterest once and thought, OH YEAH I'm using that.  thumb.gif

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post
M has 44 days sober today! On purpose! joy.gif

I am so, so happy in my heart when I read this!!  heartbeat.gif  Way to go, M!  Sending him lots of strength, you too, of course!! 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaydove View Post

Joining in - I've spent the past couple of months really thinking about what I believe and realized that I'm Pagan! I believe in the sacredness of Nature and that's there's an energy/spirit(?) that connects every living thing together. I believe in random reincarnation. At least that's what I've concluded so far. Still figuring out other stuff but I feel comfortable calling myself a Pagan.
I want my family to celebrate the seasons and the power of Nature so we're going to celebrate Samhain this year! I'm planning on cooking a whole chicken I have in the freezer and cooking seasonal veggies - a feast! As far as the spiritual side...not sure. I was thinking about honoring the dead and setting a place for them but I don't want our first Pagan holiday to be too morbid. Any ideas? What does your family do? This is my first year in San Diego after living all my life in Seattle and it doesn't feel like Fall at all. Thanks!!

Hey Kaydove!!  Welcome!!  Last year DH and I just spoke about the people that we've lost - talking about what we remember about them, times that made us laugh.  And we lit a special candle on the table that night.  

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aubergine68 View Post

 Well, I don't actually call myself Pagan - I say "spiritually eclectic" or that I have never left my first UUlike upbringing and that it is a big enough spiritual umbrella to accommodate a couple of decades of a side adventure in raising my children in Catholicism. They are aware that mom converses with plants and trees and follows the moon and dabbles in spells and oracles and astrology and yoga and chakra meditation and does Treasure Maps and all sorts of New Agery. We sweep out our house every new moon and ring a bell on some of them to clean out negative energy, for example - my kids love doing this.   My dd does some of the oracle stuff herself, though the teachings of the RC church are against it. The children  are aware of and support my dh and I's beliefs in equal rights for LGBT people and for women, the use of birth control, etc. etc. They even share them at church groups - my youngest piped up once and explained that in our country (Canada) boys can marry boys when they grow up, but just not in the Catholic church. No one argued with him. We do not pretend to be a "good" Catholic family in the sense of 100% supporting the official teachings of the church. We are giving our children the experience of church attendance and the opportunity of initiation into the faith - while exposing them to many other beliefs. They have cousins who were also raised Catholic and have either become more devout than us or who have chosen not to go through with Confirmation and to totally leave the church, so they see both paths as options, I think.


  I am almost constitutionally incapable of wanting to impose my beliefs on other people and incapable of believing that there is any one right way to do anything.  I don't actually have any strict spiritual beliefs or values that I need my children to hold, except tolerance for the beliefs of others. I am grateful to live in a time and place and in a community where I have the freedom to live and believe as I choose. It is not something I take for granted and one of the few things I would fight to protect if I had to.


I didn't actually even want to formally get married - there was lots of divorce in my family  and I didn't believe in marriage, really.  Hated the idea of ever having a wedding, in fact.  But it was important to my dh and so we went through with it.  I do NOT mean to say that my experience is true for anyone else or that divorce is wrong for anyone else or for any particular circumstances.  However, I found to my great surprise that the wedding ceremony really was a Binding with a capital B between dh and I.  I would find it hard to imagine what the spiritual consequences to me personally would be in breaking the vows spoken in that moment, including the vow to raise children in that faith.  I've seen others of the sacraments administered - Confession and Last Rites, especially, and the effect of both can be transformative and powerful.  

 

 

 

How beautifully articulated, Aubergine!  I appreciate that you are exposing your children to other beliefs.  How are you going about that?  I'd like to do the same thing with Zoey but I am always nervous about possibly offending people in their places of worship with my lack of information.  If that makes any sense... for example, what I wear (do I need to have a head covering or my shoulders covered).  I suppose I should just go out and get me some BIG GIRL PANTIES and ask questions before I attend... 

 

Somehow I didn't quote what everyone was saying about values, etc.  But I will chime in and say YES RESPECT!!  I am a true believer that there are many paths to the well.  Also, why do people have to be MEAN?  Just be kind.  What the heck ever happened to basic values like these?  *sigh*

 

So, yesterday was the big b-day!  It was low key and fun.  My sissy poo, BIL and my DH are headed out for some celebrating this Saturday.  Watch out world, I think I'm gonna eat a SANDWICH!  haha.  

 

Something really WEIRD happened yesterday though... I found this email that I had printed out from a person with whom I had ended a friendship with soon after Z was born.  Actually, she was my closest friend before I had her.  You know how it goes, things change but the falling out was really volatile and full of toxicity.  I kept the email to remind me why I had ended the friendship... but when I came across it yesterday I thought, that's dumb.  Why keep such a negative thing in my peace?  So I took it outside to burn it in the yard.  Nerd alert: I was careful not to get the ashes in my garden because I didn't want my veggies to grow in negativity next year.  Not 8 hours later she pops up on my facebook!  ISN'T THAT WILD?!!  She has had me blocked for 2 years where I haven't been able to even know she exists on facebook (which has been good and I harbor no ill feelings for her, just sadness that she is so unhappy) and the day I burn the email there she is... any insight??  I'm going to try to cross post this in the TM thread as I have a bunch of "let go" and "let it be" stuff on there... 

post #30 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post

M has 44 days sober today! On purpose! joy.gif

 

Yay!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaydove View Post

Joining in - I've spent the past couple of months really thinking about what I believe and realized that I'm Pagan! I believe in the sacredness of Nature and that's there's an energy/spirit(?) that connects every living thing together. I believe in random reincarnation. At least that's what I've concluded so far. Still figuring out other stuff but I feel comfortable calling myself a Pagan.
I want my family to celebrate the seasons and the power of Nature so we're going to celebrate Samhain this year! I'm planning on cooking a whole chicken I have in the freezer and cooking seasonal veggies - a feast! As far as the spiritual side...not sure. I was thinking about honoring the dead and setting a place for them but I don't want our first Pagan holiday to be too morbid. Any ideas? What does your family do? This is my first year in San Diego after living all my life in Seattle and it doesn't feel like Fall at all. Thanks!!

 

I'm a slacker Pagan mama, and I only marginally involve my kids. I inflict family stories on them. Last year we made a family tree (with the ancestors as roots instead of branches), but I don't expect to have much time for genealogical research to make it worth making another one this year. We generally spruce up our ancestor altar. We are moving back to the city where my parents raised me as a child, and I have a certain love of its local history. There's a very old Catholic cemetery near my parents' home that I loved as a child and would love to share with my kids, but given my eldest child's love of pioneers, I hope to find time to take them to a somewhat abandoned pioneer cemetery (that according to local lore is haunted) for a picnic. I'd love one day to take my kids on a trip to where my grandparents are buried, but given how long of a trip it is, we're saving it for when they are older.  But for Samhain night? I have little kids: they just go trick-or-treating. This year, I've thought about trying to spend a little time after ToTing with my eldest to do some divination, but we'll see: she might be too amped up on sugar or exhausted.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aubergine68 View Post

I don't actually have any strict spiritual beliefs or values that I need my children to hold, except tolerance for the beliefs of others. I am grateful to live in a time and place and in a community where I have the freedom to live and believe as I choose. It is not something I take for granted and one of the few things I would fight to protect if I had to.


I didn't actually even want to formally get married - there was lots of divorce in my family  and I didn't believe in marriage, really.  Hated the idea of ever having a wedding, in fact.  But it was important to my dh and so we went through with it.  I do NOT mean to say that my experience is true for anyone else or that divorce is wrong for anyone else or for any particular circumstances.  However, I found to my great surprise that the wedding ceremony really was a Binding with a capital B between dh and I.  I would find it hard to imagine what the spiritual consequences to me personally would be in breaking the vows spoken in that moment, including the vow to raise children in that faith.  I've seen others of the sacraments administered - Confession and Last Rites, especially, and the effect of both can be transformative an

 

I definitely agree that the only belief I really want my kids to have as adults is tolerance for others. We live in a wonderfully diverse neighborhood, religiously, with a very large Muslim population and also a very large Mexican Catholic population. I do worry it will be harder to raise my daughter with that kind of tolerance moving to a much, much more WASPish neighborhood, and I don't know if being part of an interfaith family helps by itself. My partner feels differently, though: I think he'd really like them to have some amount of Jewish identity. He grew up in an interfaith family and very assimilated, but he and his brothers still see themselves as Jewish (though my husband would say culturally and racially, not religiously).

 

I sometimes wonder if I'd see my marriage differently if we had had a ceremony rather than just had a friend of ours who had internet ordination sign off on the marriage certificate, drop it off at city hall, and then my brand new husband went to work. Of course I feel committed to my partner, but for me, there isn't this one moment that bound us together, but just this cumulative effect of having dated since we were fourteen...I've spent my entire adult years with him and can't imagine what being an adult would be without him.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by vydalea View Post


 

So, yesterday was the big b-day!  It was low key and fun.  My sissy poo, BIL and my DH are headed out for some celebrating this Saturday.  Watch out world, I think I'm gonna eat a SANDWICH!  haha.  

 

Something really WEIRD happened yesterday though... I found this email that I had printed out from a person with whom I had ended a friendship with soon after Z was born.  Actually, she was my closest friend before I had her.  You know how it goes, things change but the falling out was really volatile and full of toxicity.  I kept the email to remind me why I had ended the friendship... but when I came across it yesterday I thought, that's dumb.  Why keep such a negative thing in my peace?  So I took it outside to burn it in the yard.  Nerd alert: I was careful not to get the ashes in my garden because I didn't want my veggies to grow in negativity next year.  Not 8 hours later she pops up on my facebook!  ISN'T THAT WILD?!!  She has had me blocked for 2 years where I haven't been able to even know she exists on facebook (which has been good and I harbor no ill feelings for her, just sadness that she is so unhappy) and the day I burn the email there she is... any insight??  I'm going to try to cross post this in the TM thread as I have a bunch of "let go" and "let it be" stuff on there... 

Happy birthday! I hope you have fun tomorrow!

 

I will continue working on the house. I've been a little disappointed at our skill with some of the stuff, but I'm sure we're get better as we slowly renovate the house. Still, we have reached the point where I can actually see us moving soon. We've also decided to try school for my eldest. She'll start in November, and then we will re-evaluate over the winter holiday about whether we want to continue school or pull her and start homeschooling. Now I just need to get the paperwork together. I definitely worry about the religious exemption letter for vaccines the most. Have any of you written a vax exemption letter as a Pagan? Tomorrow at the nature center near our home, they host a harvest festival. I plan to take the kids to that before I head out to the house. I definitely have started to find more peace in my life as I've gotten to a place where I feel more able to commit: yes, we are moving here; yes, my child will go to school there; etc... And I'm sure I'll feel better once our lives aren't scattered between two homes: I constantly find myself looking for stuff that's already been packed, that's already at the other house, that I tore house apart looking for and I'm just hoping it is already at the other house....

 

What does everyone else have planned for this weekend? How are your preparations for Samhain going?

post #31 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaydove View PostJoining in - I've spent the past couple of months really thinking about what I believe and realized that I'm Pagan!

I want my family to celebrate the seasons and the power of Nature so we're going to celebrate Samhain this year! I'm planning on cooking a whole chicken I have in the freezer and cooking seasonal veggies - a feast! As far as the spiritual side...not sure. I was thinking about honoring the dead and setting a place for them but I don't want our first Pagan holiday to be too morbid. Any ideas? What does your family do? This is my first year in San Diego after living all my life in Seattle and it doesn't feel like Fall at all. Thanks!!

 

Nom nom roasted chicken yummy.gif We're coming to your house!

 

Welcome and mm, Kaydove! I don't think it's morbid at all-- I think it's sacred and holy and really neat. That said, we don't do anything together anymore, really. We're a family of two-- 11y8m ds and me. When he was little, we did a lot more, but he's not remotely interested in Doing Stuff anymore, and I don't push it. He will find his way in spite of or because of me and I don't want a fundie evangelical, so I let him be lol.gif

But, one of the things we used to do, and still do, is visit cemeteries. There's always one really cool one in every town, and we go to the big one here. Last year, I took pix and he and his best gf played amongst the gravestones, and I hung with her mom (MY best gf).

I do try to have dinner that involves the favorite foods of our beloved dead (but not a dumb supper), and it always turns out really weird and eclectic. My son's father and my father both loved peanut butter, so we have that. My aunt-- I don't know what her favorite food was, but my mom always complained that she had "minced salad, even for breakfast!" so we have that (she was American Jewish, but married a Yemenite, and there was always hummus and baklava and amazing things that he made). My son's father loved beans and rice. My own dad loved peanuts and mixed nuts. We'll have those raw, because roasted ones are like food crack to me and I will overindulge if they're around.
I should look up Mayflower foods-- William Bradford is my ancestor. I wonder that they ate anything at all, landing in MA in the off-season ROTFLMAO.gif

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aubergine68 View Post Well, I don't actually call myself Pagan - I say "spiritually eclectic" or that I have never left my first UUlike upbringing and that it is a big enough spiritual umbrella to accommodate a couple of decades of a side adventure in raising my children in Catholicism.


  I am almost constitutionally incapable of wanting to impose my beliefs on other people and incapable of believing that there is any one right way to do anything.  I don't actually have any strict spiritual beliefs or values that I need my children to hold, except tolerance for the beliefs of others. I am grateful to live in a time and place and in a community where I have the freedom to live and believe as I choose. It is not something I take for granted and one of the few things I would fight to protect if I had to.

 

That is so cool about your Bonding marriage vows, Aubergine. And your views are amazing. Your children are going to grow up SO COOL. They're really lucky to have a mom like you!

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by vydalea View PostHey, Mamas!!  My teeth are feeling so much better, thank you for asking.  I'm down to just taking OTC pain killers and anitbiotics (to fight bacterial infection) along with salty rinses so life is getting much easier to bare, you know pain wise/food eating wise.  I ate baba ghanouj last night with pita.  Of course, i ripped the pita into pieces the size of my thumbnail but it was NOT yogurt, soup or applesauce so I was in heaven!!  yummy.gif

 

I am so, so happy in my heart when I read this!!  heartbeat.gif  Way to go, M!  Sending him lots of strength, you too, of course!! 

 

So, yesterday was the big b-day!  It was low key and fun.  My sissy poo, BIL and my DH are headed out for some celebrating this Saturday.  Watch out world, I think I'm gonna eat a SANDWICH!  haha.  

 

 

Happy birthday! birthday.gif Do you not normally eat sandwiches? Did I know this? M is so grateful for your support and good vibes. He's got almost 50 days now! Deliberately! Now he needs a sponsor and to really work the steps, and he knows it, but one thing at a time. He also needs a job, so any good job vibes would be appreciated.

 

Your post about the baba ganoush and pita cracked me up. Reminded me of when I got my wisdoms out, and I was eating pizza by Day Two, but the same way as you-- tiny little pieces, like little pizza pills! biglaugh.gif

 

 

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by revolting View PostIBut for Samhain night? I have little kids: they just go trick-or-treating. This year, I've thought about trying to spend a little time after ToTing with my eldest to do some divination, but we'll see: she might be too amped up on sugar or exhausted.

 


What does everyone else have planned for this weekend? How are your preparations for Samhain going?

 

I am not one of those Pagans who is rigid about which day we celebrate anything. So we've always had our Samhain celebration on the day before, or the day after, Halloween. Usually before, because Halloween and its focus on candy goes long past the first night of it.

 

This weekend-- our babysitter is getting married! She's 22. She babysat my son from the time he was two, and she was his age now! bigeyes.gif until he was nine. It's an hour and a half drive to SC, where the wedding is, and it's very likely a Baptist wedding (I am surely expecting altar calls, yep, even during a wedding eyesroll.gif) but we've known her for ds's whole life, far as he's concerned. It'll be fun.

Then, Sunday, there's a Osun thingy at the river here. The French Broad River is one of the oldest on the planet. I want to go, but we might be wiped out from the wedding (we're both introverts, and, while we're very outgoing, social functions wipes.us.out.).

 

Also, check this out, this is my post to Facebook:

Realtor called. She knows another realtor with a client that is moving to my area. She is getting a job in the mall, a 5m drive from this house. She is looking for a 3/1 under $140K. There's plenty available, and that's what I have-- but her caveat is she has to be in by 10/31. Of THIS year! 19 days from now!
That would be hella fast to move, but I'm about the only person that my realtor knows of who might have that timeline available.
We'd move in town somewhere-- the client is out of town for a couple days, but might look as early as Monday! Oh, hope! ♥

 

So, I'll be crisis-cleaning for that orngbiggrin.gif It won't be a lot, since I've been rather keeping up with it, but there's vacuuming and floors in the kitchen and bath, and such. And magick thumb.gif Please light candles for us! I will post when the showing is, so if y'all are inclined, y'all can direct energy our way!

post #32 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by vydalea View Post

Hey, Mamas!!  My teeth are feeling so much better, thank you for asking.  I'm down to just taking OTC pain killers and anitbiotics (to fight bacterial infection) along with salty rinses so life is getting much easier to bare, you know pain wise/food eating wise.  I ate baba ghanouj last night with pita.  Of course, i ripped the pita into pieces the size of my thumbnail but it was NOT yogurt, soup or applesauce so I was in heaven!!  yummy.gif

 

Did SIL end up coming over?  When I am in similar situations (house is slightly more disastrous than normal mess levels) I just say The house is a mess since child raising in progress!  Or something along those lines.  I saw it on pinterest once and thought, OH YEAH I'm using that.  thumb.gif

I am so, so happy in my heart when I read this!!  heartbeat.gif  Way to go, M!  Sending him lots of strength, you too, of course!! 

 

Hey Kaydove!!  Welcome!!  Last year DH and I just spoke about the people that we've lost - talking about what we remember about them, times that made us laugh.  And we lit a special candle on the table that night.  

 

How beautifully articulated, Aubergine!  I appreciate that you are exposing your children to other beliefs.  How are you going about that?  I'd like to do the same thing with Zoey but I am always nervous about possibly offending people in their places of worship with my lack of information.  If that makes any sense... for example, what I wear (do I need to have a head covering or my shoulders covered).  I suppose I should just go out and get me some BIG GIRL PANTIES and ask questions before I attend... 

 

You know how it goes, things change but the falling out was really volatile and full of toxicity.  I kept the email to remind me why I had ended the friendship... but when I came across it yesterday I thought, that's dumb.  Why keep such a negative thing in my peace?  So I took it outside to burn it in the yard.  Nerd alert: I was careful not to get the ashes in my garden because I didn't want my veggies to grow in negativity next year.  Not 8 hours later she pops up on my facebook!  ISN'T THAT WILD?!!  She has had me blocked for 2 years where I haven't been able to even know she exists on facebook (which has been good and I harbor no ill feelings for her, just sadness that she is so unhappy) and the day I burn the email there she is... any insight??  I'm going to try to cross post this in the TM thread as I have a bunch of "let go" and "let it be" stuff on there... 

Yes, that IS wild.  Sometimes magick works that way.  I wonder if you felt the shift in her attitude when you found and burnt the paper or if she felt the shift when *you* did that somehow.  

I really do believe that we remain connected spiritually to people we used to be close to, through the Akashic records or the Force or karmic connection or whatever you want to call it.  I recently googled the name of an old bf out of the blue - hadn't seen him in decades, hadn't really thought of him in years.  That same day - hours earlier -  an obituary of his mother had been posted online.  I believe I felt the shift when she passed, maybe through his emotions.  I sent a card to the family - it felt good to be able to send condolences and share a memory or two that way.  I hope it helped to know someone was thinking of them. 

 

I don't think one necessarily has to attend religious ceremonies in places of worship to get a sense of what a culture believes.  We try to read about other cultures, attend cultural festivals, talk to people who've traveled or who come from other backgrounds, etc.   My children's first babysitters were from a Muslim country.  Their guitar teacher is from the Caribbean.....there are opportunities!   I commemorate some holidays that are fun for children with my own sometimes - Chinese New Year and Hanukah, especially.  Honestly, my younger kids find church boring still, and I wouldn't want to inflict them upon another congregation where there is no sense of community for them - they aren't really ready for that.  And I'd probably be shy of attending a church of a different faith cold, too! Sometimes it comes up that we attend an ecumenical service or a wedding or a funeral service held in the rites of a different faith. Something like that is a great opportunity to discuss the different ways people do things and the reasoning behind that.  Visiting different historic places of worship as  tourist attractions is also a great opportunity.  We have a local historical park where some heritage buildings have been moved or replicated to show our community the way it was in pioneer times. There are several former houses of worship there - a synagogue and a mosque and early Catholic and Protestant churches that are open to the public to view.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post

 

Nom nom roasted chicken yummy.gif We're coming to your house!

 

Welcome and mm, Kaydove! I don't think it's morbid at all-- I think it's sacred and holy and really neat. That said, we don't do anything together anymore, really. We're a family of two-- 11y8m ds and me. When he was little, we did a lot more, but he's not remotely interested in Doing Stuff anymore, and I don't push it. He will find his way in spite of or because of me and I don't want a fundie evangelical, so I let him be lol.gif

But, one of the things we used to do, and still do, is visit cemeteries. There's always one really cool one in every town, and we go to the big one here. Last year, I took pix and he and his best gf played amongst the gravestones, and I hung with her mom (MY best gf).

I do try to have dinner that involves the favorite foods of our beloved dead (but not a dumb supper), and it always turns out really weird and eclectic.

And magick thumb.gif Please light candles for us! I will post when the showing is, so if y'all are inclined, y'all can direct energy our way!

 

Thanks for the kind words, Maia - thinking good thoughts for M - I'm pleased he's doing so well.  Will be watching for your house showing news.....I love the idea of having a meal consisting of favourite foods of ancestors and the beloved dead.  I have a family reunion cookbook I can start with, actually, though a meal of raisin toast, corn relish, homemade spaghetti sauce and peach cobbler, to honor my dad, does have a certain appeal.  Sorta carby, though.  

post #33 of 96

Maia - love the idea of favourite foods of family members who have passed on! Thanks for the idea! I'll light a candle for your house showing and send encouraging thoughts your way. 

 

Aubergine - My step daughter was raised Pagan by her mother's family and she finds a lot of comfort in Catholic symbols - the saints and rosaries. I thought that was interesting. I don't think she's ever been to a Catholic service. 

 

Vydalea - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Have a lovely day! So glad to hear that you're healing well. Definitely weird coincidence with your friend, and I agree with Aubergine, that we're still connected to people we were close with. 

 

Revolting - Packing sucks! We're still getting settled from our move in January! Our garage is full of stuff that I need to go through. I totally understand not finding stuff. I'm interested to hear more about divination with your eldest. I do understand your concerns about moving to WASPish neighbourhood. San Diego is much more conservative than Seattle (I grew up in Seattle) with a lot more Christian and Catholic presence, which is fine, but we do get tons of fliers for churches left on our door step. I get bristly when people proselytize. I worry that DD will be invited to a lot of church camps and retreats when she's in school and since I grew up going to those and know that there's a lot of altar calls, which I am NOT comfortable with at all. I'm completely fine and encourage DD to learn about other religions but I do not think its appropriate for children to be altar called or converted. I grew non denominational Christian, much like the mega churches that are famous on the west coast. I'm also expecting there to be a fight with my mom about trying to get DD to 'ask Jesus into her heart' which is NOT okay with DH and I. Thank goodness she still lives in Seattle and there's distance. 

 

Witchgrrl - How's the teaching part of the interview go for your DH?

 

Thanks for the warm welcome everyone! I got some great ideas for Samhain! My step daughter and I are going to go Day of the Dead festival during the day on the 1st and then we'll have our feast that night with DH. We're going to build a fire, set an extra place at the table, maybe sacrifice a wee bit of the food as a thankful for the harvest, and light candles for family and friends who've passed on. I'll direct it towards remembering the good stuff about the people, and that we believe in reincarnation. I do expect some tears, which will be cathartic. I'm getting excited about it! We might recognize the Wicca new year aspect and do a little bit of starting a new leaf. My DH and and step daughter's relationship is kinda rocky but getting better. They don't communicate well, personality issue. I'm thinking, if they're open to it, we can all write down on a piece of paper, things they want to leave behind in past and then burn it in the fire. Vydalea's burning the email gave me the inspiration. :)

Next weekend is our 5 year wedding anniversary! We're going to go on a date! Big deal since we have a 7 month old. 

post #34 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aubergine68 View PostThanks for the kind words, Maia - thinking good thoughts for M - I'm pleased he's doing so well.  Will be watching for your house showing news.....I love the idea of having a meal consisting of favourite foods of ancestors and the beloved dead.  I have a family reunion cookbook I can start with, actually, though a meal of raisin toast, corn relish, homemade spaghetti sauce and peach cobbler, to honor my dad, does have a certain appeal.  Sorta carby, though.  

 

M says thank you! He is so touched that y'all think of him and cheer him on. He really does think the energy y'all send is encouraging.

 

I dunno, I have always had favorite foods of my beloved dead. I didn't realize most people don't do that! And yeah, it makes for a really weird mix of foods, but that's part of the fun. I usually put a plate at the table for them, and then when we're done, put it outside as an offering.

I don't know that we'll be doing anything this year-- everything hinges on the showing, and hearing from this lady about the house. I'd SO way give up any Samhain in favor of moving!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaydove View PostMaia - love the idea of favourite foods of family members who have passed on! Thanks for the idea! I'll light a candle for your house showing and send encouraging thoughts your way. 

 

 

 

I'm also expecting there to be a fight with my mom about trying to get DD to 'ask Jesus into her heart' which is NOT okay with DH and I. Thank goodness she still lives in Seattle and there's distance. 

 

 

 

 

Next weekend is our 5 year wedding anniversary! We're going to go on a date! Big deal since we have a 7 month old. 

 

Thank you! And thanks about the candle. I could use any extra positive vibes sent my way! I'm in Asheville, NC, if you direct energy smile.gif

 

I would DIE if my mom wanted to get my ds to "ask Jesus into his heart"-- that would be a deal breaker for family ties, IMO irked.gif It really, REALLY jerks my chain when people try to influence my child. He's MY child, and that's MY job to do. Nobody else's!!! GRRR! Your mom had her chance with you. Now it's your turn. And it's not a reflection on her parenting or religious choices if you choose differently.

 

Happy anniversary! Dating's easy when your dd is that young lol.gif Wait'll she has an opinion on whether you go out or not!

post #35 of 96

So DH did *not* get the job. We're okay about it. It was going to be a crazy amount of hassle for what could have been a really short period of time. There are other positions that are more defined.The art program he's currently teaching for has asked him to think about more classes to teach, and where DD goes to waldkindergarten has also asked DH to trial some "art in the woods" in the afternoons.

 

So things are looking fine.

post #36 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post

 

Also, check this out, this is my post to Facebook:

Realtor called. She knows another realtor with a client that is moving to my area. She is getting a job in the mall, a 5m drive from this house. She is looking for a 3/1 under $140K. There's plenty available, and that's what I have-- but her caveat is she has to be in by 10/31. Of THIS year! 19 days from now!
That would be hella fast to move, but I'm about the only person that my realtor knows of who might have that timeline available.
We'd move in town somewhere-- the client is out of town for a couple days, but might look as early as Monday! Oh, hope! ♥

 

So, I'll be crisis-cleaning for that orngbiggrin.gif It won't be a lot, since I've been rather keeping up with it, but there's vacuuming and floors in the kitchen and bath, and such. And magick thumb.gif Please light candles for us! I will post when the showing is, so if y'all are inclined, y'all can direct energy our way!

 

I hope she wants your house! Good luck!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aubergine68 View Post

Yes, that IS wild.  Sometimes magick works that way.  I wonder if you felt the shift in her attitude when you found and burnt the paper or if she felt the shift when *you* did that somehow.  

I really do believe that we remain connected spiritually to people we used to be close to, through the Akashic records or the Force or karmic connection or whatever you want to call it.  I recently googled the name of an old bf out of the blue - hadn't seen him in decades, hadn't really thought of him in years.  That same day - hours earlier -  an obituary of his mother had been posted online.  I believe I felt the shift when she passed, maybe through his emotions.  I sent a card to the family - it felt good to be able to send condolences and share a memory or two that way.  I hope it helped to know someone was thinking of them. 

 

 

I'm sure it did help. I think with any loss I've had, just to know that others cared, too, really helped.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaydove View Post

Revolting - Packing sucks! We're still getting settled from our move in January! Our garage is full of stuff that I need to go through. I totally understand not finding stuff. I'm interested to hear more about divination with your eldest. I do understand your concerns about moving to WASPish neighbourhood. San Diego is much more conservative than Seattle (I grew up in Seattle) with a lot more Christian and Catholic presence, which is fine, but we do get tons of fliers for churches left on our door step. I get bristly when people proselytize. I worry that DD will be invited to a lot of church camps and retreats when she's in school and since I grew up going to those and know that there's a lot of altar calls, which I am NOT comfortable with at all. I'm completely fine and encourage DD to learn about other religions but I do not think its appropriate for children to be altar called or converted. I grew non denominational Christian, much like the mega churches that are famous on the west coast. I'm also expecting there to be a fight with my mom about trying to get DD to 'ask Jesus into her heart' which is NOT okay with DH and I. Thank goodness she still lives in Seattle and there's distance.

 

Next weekend is our 5 year wedding anniversary! We're going to go on a date! Big deal since we have a 7 month old. 

 

Altar calls? Really? I definitely attended religious camps and the like as a child, and I never, ever have seen an altar call in real life. Happy 5th wedding anniversary.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by witchygrrl View Post

So DH did *not* get the job. We're okay about it. It was going to be a crazy amount of hassle for what could have been a really short period of time. There are other positions that are more defined.The art program he's currently teaching for has asked him to think about more classes to teach, and where DD goes to waldkindergarten has also asked DH to trial some "art in the woods" in the afternoons.

 

So things are looking fine.

 

goodvibes.giffor him to find something!

 

Blech. Not feeling well. I'm in the tail end of the 2ww, but with the congestion, I suspect I'm just sick and just waiting to start another cycle in a few days.

 

I tried to see the old moon leave this morning, but unfortunately clouds in the east obstructed a good view of her. Ah, well...now we enter the Blood Moon, which reminds me of one of my favorite poems, The Moon from the Porch by Annie Finch:

 

 

Moon has dusks for walls,
Octobers days for a floor,
crickets for rooms, windy halls.
Only one night is her door.

 

When I was thirteen she found me,
spiraled into my blood like a hive.
I stood on a porch where she wound me
for the first time. My tight and alive

 

body flooded to find her,
to know I would not be alone
while I moved through tides that don't bind her
into womanhood like a flung stone.

 

With each waxing curve into fullness
I grew with her, ready, wild;
I filled myself up like her priestess;
I emptied myself like her child.

 

Flooding, ready, and certain,
I hid her—full, fallow, or frail—
beneath my long summer's rich curtain
which covered her face, the thin grail

 

that delivers me now. I am with her.
All cast shadows come home.
I stand in these shadows to kiss her;
I spin in her cool, calming storm.

 

Now as I move through my own beauty
and my shadow goes deeper than blood,
oh triple, oh goddess, sustain me
with your lights simple opening hood.

 

Blessings, mamas!


Edited by revolting - 10/15/12 at 6:45am
post #37 of 96

Hi lovely Mamas!!  Hope you all had good weekends.  Thanks for all the birthday wishes!! blowkiss.gif  I had a great time celebrating.  

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by revolting View Post

 

I will continue working on the house. I've been a little disappointed at our skill with some of the stuff, but I'm sure we're get better as we slowly renovate the house. Still, we have reached the point where I can actually see us moving soon. We've also decided to try school for my eldest. She'll start in November, and then we will re-evaluate over the winter holiday about whether we want to continue school or pull her and start homeschooling. Now I just need to get the paperwork together. I definitely worry about the religious exemption letter for vaccines the most. Have any of you written a vax exemption letter as a Pagan? Tomorrow at the nature center near our home, they host a harvest festival. I plan to take the kids to that before I head out to the house. I definitely have started to find more peace in my life as I've gotten to a place where I feel more able to commit: yes, we are moving here; yes, my child will go to school there; etc... And I'm sure I'll feel better once our lives aren't scattered between two homes: I constantly find myself looking for stuff that's already been packed, that's already at the other house, that I tore house apart looking for and I'm just hoping it is already at the other house....

 

What does everyone else have planned for this weekend? How are your preparations for Samhain going?

How does your eldest feel about heading off to school?  I am SO HAPPY for you are finding more peace in your life, mama.  I cannot imagine how hectic everything has been and glad that it's settling down.  luxlove.gif  Will keep sending lots of good energy your way.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post

 

I do try to have dinner that involves the favorite foods of our beloved dead (but not a dumb supper), and it always turns out really weird and eclectic. My son's father and my father both loved peanut butter, so we have that. My aunt-- I don't know what her favorite food was, but my mom always complained that she had "minced salad, even for breakfast!" so we have that (she was American Jewish, but married a Yemenite, and there was always hummus and baklava and amazing things that he made). My son's father loved beans and rice. My own dad loved peanuts and mixed nuts. We'll have those raw, because roasted ones are like food crack to me and I will overindulge if they're around.
I should look up Mayflower foods-- William Bradford is my ancestor. I wonder that they ate anything at all, landing in MA in the off-season ROTFLMAO.gif

 

Happy birthday! birthday.gif Do you not normally eat sandwiches? Did I know this? M is so grateful for your support and good vibes. He's got almost 50 days now! Deliberately! Now he needs a sponsor and to really work the steps, and he knows it, but one thing at a time. He also needs a job, so any good job vibes would be appreciated.

 

Also, check this out, this is my post to Facebook:

Realtor called. She knows another realtor with a client that is moving to my area. She is getting a job in the mall, a 5m drive from this house. She is looking for a 3/1 under $140K. There's plenty available, and that's what I have-- but her caveat is she has to be in by 10/31. Of THIS year! 19 days from now!
That would be hella fast to move, but I'm about the only person that my realtor knows of who might have that timeline available.
We'd move in town somewhere-- the client is out of town for a couple days, but might look as early as Monday! Oh, hope! ♥

 

So, I'll be crisis-cleaning for that orngbiggrin.gif It won't be a lot, since I've been rather keeping up with it, but there's vacuuming and floors in the kitchen and bath, and such. And magick thumb.gif Please light candles for us! I will post when the showing is, so if y'all are inclined, y'all can direct energy our way!

I love the idea of eating favorite foods of our ancestors.  That is super creative!  AND UHM... maybe we actually *are* somehow connected as twins as my GGma's people came over on the MAYFLOWER, ALSO!!  I'll ask my Grandma and see if we know the name... 

 

I normally do eat sammies, but couldn't due to the wisdom teeth but I am 95% now and had a tasty tuna melt!! ymmm!!  I scarfed it down in record time!  hahaha.  

 

M at 50 days, your house having the possibility to sell!!  whaaaaat?!  I am seriously sending you energy to complete that transaction!!!!  

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aubergine68 View Post

Yes, that IS wild.  Sometimes magick works that way.  I wonder if you felt the shift in her attitude when you found and burnt the paper or if she felt the shift when *you* did that somehow.  

I really do believe that we remain connected spiritually to people we used to be close to, through the Akashic records or the Force or karmic connection or whatever you want to call it.  I recently googled the name of an old bf out of the blue - hadn't seen him in decades, hadn't really thought of him in years.  That same day - hours earlier -  an obituary of his mother had been posted online.  I believe I felt the shift when she passed, maybe through his emotions.  I sent a card to the family - it felt good to be able to send condolences and share a memory or two that way.  I hope it helped to know someone was thinking of them. 

 

I don't think one necessarily has to attend religious ceremonies in places of worship to get a sense of what a culture believes.  We try to read about other cultures, attend cultural festivals, talk to people who've traveled or who come from other backgrounds, etc.   My children's first babysitters were from a Muslim country.  Their guitar teacher is from the Caribbean.....there are opportunities!   I commemorate some holidays that are fun for children with my own sometimes - Chinese New Year and Hanukah, especially.  Honestly, my younger kids find church boring still, and I wouldn't want to inflict them upon another congregation where there is no sense of community for them - they aren't really ready for that.  And I'd probably be shy of attending a church of a different faith cold, too! Sometimes it comes up that we attend an ecumenical service or a wedding or a funeral service held in the rites of a different faith. Something like that is a great opportunity to discuss the different ways people do things and the reasoning behind that.  Visiting different historic places of worship as  tourist attractions is also a great opportunity.  We have a local historical park where some heritage buildings have been moved or replicated to show our community the way it was in pioneer times. There are several former houses of worship there - a synagogue and a mosque and early Catholic and Protestant churches that are open to the public to view.

 

 

Thanks for the kind words, Maia - thinking good thoughts for M - I'm pleased he's doing so well.  Will be watching for your house showing news.....I love the idea of having a meal consisting of favourite foods of ancestors and the beloved dead.  I have a family reunion cookbook I can start with, actually, though a meal of raisin toast, corn relish, homemade spaghetti sauce and peach cobbler, to honor my dad, does have a certain appeal.  Sorta carby, though.  

Aubergine!  YES YES YES with regard to all of this!  I agree about the spiritual connections that you make with those you are close to... and the energy that goes along with it.  That paper held so much resentment and sadness for me and I truly feel that it is all released.  

 

Great point about religious ceremonies, etc.  Thank you for sharing different things you do with your children.  They make perfect sense - as Z gets older I will definitely have to seek out more cultural activities.  

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaydove View Post

Vydalea - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Have a lovely day! So glad to hear that you're healing well. Definitely weird coincidence with your friend, and I agree with Aubergine, that we're still connected to people we were close with. 

 

Thanks for the warm welcome everyone! I got some great ideas for Samhain! My step daughter and I are going to go Day of the Dead festival during the day on the 1st and then we'll have our feast that night with DH. We're going to build a fire, set an extra place at the table, maybe sacrifice a wee bit of the food as a thankful for the harvest, and light candles for family and friends who've passed on. I'll direct it towards remembering the good stuff about the people, and that we believe in reincarnation. I do expect some tears, which will be cathartic. I'm getting excited about it! We might recognize the Wicca new year aspect and do a little bit of starting a new leaf. My DH and and step daughter's relationship is kinda rocky but getting better. They don't communicate well, personality issue. I'm thinking, if they're open to it, we can all write down on a piece of paper, things they want to leave behind in past and then burn it in the fire. Vydalea's burning the email gave me the inspiration. :)

Next weekend is our 5 year wedding anniversary! We're going to go on a date! Big deal since we have a 7 month old. 

Happy Anniversary!  A DATE?!  Hooray!

 

I love the idea of burning the things you want to leave behind.  It sounds like you've got some great ideas for what you want to do!  awesome.  I like celebrating Samhain because I love talking about my great grandparents with Z.  I actually knew most of them and I was a little bit older than Z when they passed so the things I remember about them are very child-focused.  I remember my GGBetsey always having jellybeans around and that she loved owls.  Things like that.  I like getting DH talking about what he remembers about his family members.  It's not much but it's fun to hear him share.  

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post

I would DIE if my mom wanted to get my ds to "ask Jesus into his heart"-- that would be a deal breaker for family ties, IMO irked.gif It really, REALLY jerks my chain when people try to influence my child. He's MY child, and that's MY job to do. Nobody else's!!! GRRR! Your mom had her chance with you. Now it's your turn. And it's not a reflection on her parenting or religious choices if you choose differently.

 

agreed.  Kaydove, I hope that you don't have to go through that.  Luckily our parents have all been *mostly* respectful of our spiritual decisions for Z.  PS, what is an altar call?  I grew up in a United Methodist church in Upstate NY.  We just sang a lot, had crazy amounts of potluck dinners and did community service.  There was not a lot of attempt at converting people or evangelical stuff...

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by witchygrrl View Post

So DH did *not* get the job. We're okay about it. It was going to be a crazy amount of hassle for what could have been a really short period of time. There are other positions that are more defined.The art program he's currently teaching for has asked him to think about more classes to teach, and where DD goes to waldkindergarten has also asked DH to trial some "art in the woods" in the afternoons.

 

So things are looking fine.

OOOh, I hope that the opportunities open for him!  I will think of lots of opening windows and such for you.  It sounds like these said windows will be much easier on the stress levels in life!!!  

 

Beautiful poem, revolting,  Thanks for sharing.  Speaking of the Moon I had a proud Pagan parenting moment this AM... Z was playing with these crescent moon stickers she has and she put two together and said "look, mama! its the full moon!!" I'm glad on some level observing the moon and reading about it's phases, etc. is sinking in.  Whenever we hit up the library I get at least one moon book.  :)  

 

 
post #38 of 96

Oh, mamas-- my sweetie's brother died, I think yesterday gloomy.gif

 

It was so sudden. M talked to this brother on Friday night on the webcam. Yesterday, the brother went into the hospital because he was having stomach pain and puking up blood-- I think it was puking. And they didn't (or couldn't) figure out what it was, sent him to ICU, didn't (couldn't?) tell anyone why he went to ICU, and then boom, he's dead. He was barely 60 and left a wife and two more-or-less grown kids.

 

M is pretty well devastated, understandably. The good news is he doesn't have money for alcohol-- which is, I guess, a good side effect of being broke. This is the first of his 10 brothers and sisters (including him) to go. He was the...hmm, 4th one in chronological order? M was thinking for some reason that they'd all die in the same order they were born. Um, no...not necessarily. His sister has cancer of some sort, and I'm guessing she'll be next, probably. Poor M greensad.gif

 

I only have one sibling, a brother. He's younger than me. He's way, way more highly stressed, and more of a type-A personality...he may end up going before me; who knows. At any rate, that will be hard enough if he goes before me. I can't imagine multiplying that pain 9 times.

post #39 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by revolting View PostI hope she wants your house! Good luck!

 

 

Altar calls? Really? I definitely attended religious camps and the like as a child, and I never, ever have seen an altar call in real life. Happy 5th wedding anniversary.

 

Nice poem!

 

Thanks-- I really hope she does, too. It's now Monday 11:20am and I haven't heard from the showing service. I called my realtor and left a msg, but haven't heard back from her, either.

I want to cook things, dang it! But I can't use anything that might smell up the house! GRR!

 

Yes, altar calls....I have heard of them being done even at weddings and funerals, how crass is that.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by vydalea View PostI love the idea of eating favorite foods of our ancestors.  That is super creative!  AND UHM... maybe we actually *are* somehow connected as twins as my GGma's people came over on the MAYFLOWER, ALSO!!  I'll ask my Grandma and see if we know the name... 

 

I normally do eat sammies, but couldn't due to the wisdom teeth but I am 95% now and had a tasty tuna melt!! ymmm!!  I scarfed it down in record time!  hahaha.  

 

M at 50 days, your house having the possibility to sell!!  whaaaaat?!  I am seriously sending you energy to complete that transaction!!!!  

 

An altar call is where, after they preach or whatever, they invite anyone who has, during the service, been "called" to be saved, and the person goes up to the altar to be...hmm, whatever, they get blessed by the preacher and have hands on their head sometimes and such, and they get welcomed to the fold of the saved. It's public and I think it's very gauche, but it's done all over the South all the time. Usually it's done at like....oh, tent revivals (yes, they still have those) and church services, but like I said above, every opportunity, right? So even at weddings and funerals. CRASS!

 

lol.gif headscratch.gif Super creative, dunno about that. It was something that just sort of came naturally to me, to do that. We end up having weird combinations of food at one sitting, mostly invoving peanut butter ROTFLMAO.gif

My Grandma was the one who did the research so that she could belong to the Mayflower Society (official name: Society of Mayflower Descendents), which is how I found out about my lineage there. WmBradford had a bunch of kids, but I branch off right from him, from one of his dd's, I think. When I wanted to be a junior member (under age 18), all I had to do was prove my lineage to my Gramma and provide HER research.

 

Which is how I found out my father's birth was the result of a shotgun wedding bigeyes.gif Gramma was 18, he was 25, and she was 2mo preggers with my dad when they got married in 1933 or '34. My dad was born in September '34. Can you imagine the fear and shame?

Then, then she went on to have two more kids, girls, with her dh. Then she caught him red-handed in bed with another woman, and divorced him. She raised her 3 kids as a single mom, way back then, being a dental asst. She never had another relationship in her whole life, far as I know.

Oh, and I found out recently (well, w/in 15 years recently) that that man married his affair, and went on to have more kids! So I have half-aunts and uncles somewhere. He was rather a black sheep and I only met him once, that I can remember, when I was about 17.

Funny, the things you dig up when doing genealogy!

 

Thank you, thank you, thank you, for the vibes. I hope to heck M is able to get through his grief without drinking. But I wouldn't blame him if he didn't. And thank you for the well wishes about the house!

 

Glad your wisdoms are healing nicely. I didn't think mine were all that bad.

post #40 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post

 

Nice poem!

 

Thanks-- I really hope she does, too. It's now Monday 11:20am and I haven't heard from the showing service. I called my realtor and left a msg, but haven't heard back from her, either.

I want to cook things, dang it! But I can't use anything that might smell up the house! GRR!

 

Yes, altar calls....I have heard of them being done even at weddings and funerals, how crass is that.

 

 

 

An altar call is where, after they preach or whatever, they invite anyone who has, during the service, been "called" to be saved, and the person goes up to the altar to be...hmm, whatever, they get blessed by the preacher and have hands on their head sometimes and such, and they get welcomed to the fold of the saved. It's public and I think it's very gauche, but it's done all over the South all the time. Usually it's done at like....oh, tent revivals (yes, they still have those) and church services, but like I said above, every opportunity, right? So even at weddings and funerals. CRASS!

 

 

Yep, that's an altar call. So crass! My church was evangelical. I talked to my mom about not being Christian anymore and she said that it'll be her job to teach DD about Jesus. I need to outline some clear guidelines with her, which I hope she'll be respectful of, but I'm fine with my mom teaching her bible stories and about Jesus, just no heaven, hell, sin, or converting. Thanks for listening, its something that has been bothering me lately but since DD is only 7 months, I don't need to worry about it yet. Its helps for me to get my thoughts out there though, didn't mean to bring up something so negative. My mom does occasionally surprise me so hopefully down the line this will be one of those instances. I'll focus on DD growing up with my beliefs but knowing that its her choice to believe what she wants. I'm excited for her to grow up without dogma! 

 

 

Maiasaura - Hoping the realtor calls you back today! I'm so sorry to hear about M's brother. I can't imagine how difficult that is for him. Addiction is so hard to deal with, especially when a stressful life stuff happens. He'll be in my thoughts. 

 

Revolting - Good luck on TTC! That's exciting!

 

Vydalea - Now I'm craving a tuna melt! Good to hear that you're healing well. 

 

Witchygrrl - An art class in the woods sounds so fun! I would love to do that! Sounds like an awesome school! 

 

 

Can anyone recommend any pagan books? I've started reading a couple and they're so so. I'm interested in kitchen witchery...Thanks! Hope everyone has a great week!

 

P.S. I'm not the best with quoting because I'm usually posting on my Kindle while nursing ;)

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