October Cozy Pagan Chat - Page 4

[Kaydove]

Originally Posted by nerissav 

Revolting   sent your way.  Don't be too jealous of those who can trace our ancestry back pretty far (I've got to about 1200 on part of my dad's side and 1500/1600/1700 with the rest).  It isn't all that interesting!  I think it would at least tickle my fancy a bit more if they had kept journals or you knew what they all did for a living and what their personalities were like.  Endless birth/death/marriage records just become numbers after a while.  Thankfully I've got some Mormons in the family who did most of the research for me.  

Wolfcat    I usually just use Asatru as kind of short hand.  People here tend to say they practice the "Old Ways" or the such.  Do you and your husband do rituals/holidays together?  Things have been soo busy and stressful lately that we've both been totally neglecting our spirituality.  I hope that everything turns out ok with your brother.

My mother, who is a non-practicing Christian, decided to teach my daughter about Jesus last Christmas.  I wasn't amused in the slightest.  I don't have a problem with her learning about it, but I'd rather it come from a factual background and presented in a non-biased way.

Halloween isn't really celebrated here but there are a handful of pumpkin type things, but the Jule (Yule) decorations and wrapping paper are already out at supermarkets and Ikea.  I bought my first julebuk (Yule goat)  of the year already! It is a really old tradition that is rooted in Thor being pulled through the sky by goats!

I got a children's chapter book on the Norse gods stories for my DD. My DH's birth last name is Oden, so I'm hoping it can help her be in touch with her ancestors growing up. 

Originally Posted by amlikam 

Hey all, not sure but wanting to contribute but I feel so disconnected from life these days. My father passed last Monday and I have always been very sensitive to ancestors during this time of very and feel like the veil is very thin already. Anyone else feeling more alert to spirit happenings on the other side? Or had an increase in dreams? Seems messages are everywhere.

Also gearing up for a more focused celebration/ritual with my little one where we will create an ancestor altar together, which makes me a little sad since last year we were with my dad when we did it; though he wasn't really aware of what me and DD were doing, he just thought it was another one of the "weird" things I do and joked about eating the food I put out.Looks like this year he will get to enjoy the food afterall.

I am reading your posts about Jesus teaching, such a hard spot for us as well. When she was much younger her daycare provider told her that God and Jesus love her and watch over her. She kept telling me Jesus loves me so I am ok. I lost it over that and my husband was just like "honey everyone will share their beliefs, just teach her what "we" believe."  I still boil up thinking about a provider teaching about god and jesus.... I todl my DD that Jesus was an incredible spiritual teacher who many people believe in the same way we believe in faeries, Mama Earth, Sistermoon, Brother Sun, Father Sky, our ancestors, dreams, community, sustainable agriculture, star matter and chocolate.

I'm sorry to hear about you father. 

We believe in the power of chocolate in our house as well. :)

Seems like a lot of us have had experiences with family trying to teach Christianity to our child(ren)! Gives me a glimpse on what I'm in for. ;) 

I've been in teething hell this week! Two more bottom ones came in, so 4 on top and 4 on bottom, for a total of 8 teeth by 8 months! DD is pulling herself up on everything but still really clumsy, and she bonked her teeth against her crib twice this week and started bleeding! Poor girl. I also think she learned to whine from the neurotic dog! I think I've had a beer or wine every night this week. TGIF. 

For our anniversary, I mentioned to DH of going to the haunted Whalley house in Oldtown San Diego and he was so impressed that I would want to go. I'm usually terrified of scary movies and won't watch them at all. I figure we'll go during the day and it'll be fine. DH sees ghost and feels energy, physic, he always knows his Christmas and birthday presents, so I've always wanted to go to a haunted house with him! Should be fun. 

My step daughter (22 years) is moving back to Florida :(. Its bitter sweet. She moved out here for my DD and to develop a relationship with her dad and they've had the hardest time. They do not communicate well at all. Long story but there's been a lot of fighting, tears, and negative energy between them. She's been super helpful with the housework and DD so I've been spoiled, but all the negative energy is really hard on me. I need to do a big clean house, physically and spiritually. I also want to move to a smaller house when our lease is up in January. My DH's company might cut the game he's working on, so who knows where we'll end up if that happens. Very stressful! 

Hope everyone has a great weekend! 

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by Kaydove I found the Bean Dip article and that was just what I need to hear. I do tend to site research to defend myself and definitely need to learn to just change the subject!  I really like the idea of cooking with intent. One side of me is really practical and logical and the other side believes in the mystical and sometimes they're at odds, so some books that don't jive well with me. I do like the practical, tangible-ness of kitchen witchery.
 

I thought that might resonate with you I learned the hard way, back when 11y8m ds was a small one. I was defending all my parenting choices till I was backed into a corner every.single.time, and what I learned from that, is that "This is what works for our family" is often a shutter-downer of that kind of convo. Because you'll never convince them, kwim? And they'll never convince you. So pass the bean dip, eh?

Practical Witchery: read Phyllis Curott's books. She's really, really practical and I love her utterly! She makes total sense. To me. Not kitchen witchery, but magick in general.

I just realized I joined MDC when ds was a year and a half old! He's about to turn 12, in January I'm a senior member! What does that mean? Sounds important

[vydalea]

Originally Posted by Wolfcat 

I've been in absentia for awhile, for good reason. Three weeks ago my brother, who was awaiting trial, disappeared. His house was broken into, his gold was missing, and the tracking anklet had been cut off. He had been diagnosed with a host of mental issues including severe PTSD. He is still missing and it isn't like him to just take off. We are concerned that he was forcibly taken for money or revenge.
On the other hand, I have published three books and gotten my first official paid ghostwriting job with great reviews. We are getting a 1/4 grassfed cow and a friend of my parents is giving us a freezer for free! We are planning out a busy winter/fall renovation projet schedule and getting ready for the holiday cram. DH is doing well at his job, which has spawned a topic for the podcast: Sacred Slaughter. We are looking at a very financially secure season, which is great, but unusual.
Oh, and regarding the stealth Christian grandma thing, my mom bought DS a boardbook for the Christmas Story. Sometimes DS still picks it for bedtime books. I replace the names, places, etc. with Horus, Isis, Osiris, etc. Cuz I'm ebil!

Oh, Wolfcat.  Wow.  How scary to think that he was forcibly taken!!!!  I hope beyond hope that your brother is alright and this whole situation gets worked out so that he gets the help that he needs for his PTSD.  

Quote:

Originally Posted by amlikam 

Hey all, not sure but wanting to contribute but I feel so disconnected from life these days. My father passed last Monday and I have always been very sensitive to ancestors during this time of very and feel like the veil is very thin already. Anyone else feeling more alert to spirit happenings on the other side? Or had an increase in dreams? Seems messages are everywhere.

Also gearing up for a more focused celebration/ritual with my little one where we will create an ancestor altar together, which makes me a little sad since last year we were with my dad when we did it; though he wasn't really aware of what me and DD were doing, he just thought it was another one of the "weird" things I do and joked about eating the food I put out.Looks like this year he will get to enjoy the food afterall.

I am reading your posts about Jesus teaching, such a hard spot for us as well. When she was much younger her daycare provider told her that God and Jesus love her and watch over her. She kept telling me Jesus loves me so I am ok. I lost it over that and my husband was just like "honey everyone will share their beliefs, just teach her what "we" believe."  I still boil up thinking about a provider teaching about god and jesus.... I todl my DD that Jesus was an incredible spiritual teacher who many people believe in the same way we believe in faeries, Mama Earth, Sistermoon, Brother Sun, Father Sky, our ancestors, dreams, community, sustainable agriculture, star matter and chocolate.

I sending you peaceful, healing energy in regards to your father's passing.  

I also feel that the veil is very thin these days.  I feel so loved during this time of year, which might sound odd...but I feel watched over.  Yesterday I was getting ready for a baby shower and thought I might wear this certain bauble-y necklace.  I put it on and then suddenly felt something weird slipping down in my back... It was this little ring that a friend who had passed had given me over 15 years ago.  I hadn't thought about this ring in AGES.  I was feeling a bit anxious about the baby shower I was about to attend and it was almost like my friend was just giving me love from the other side.  What a beautiful feeling!  

Originally Posted by revolting 

I definitely can feel the veil starting to thin. I've had a really strong sense of my grandfather in the last few weeks. I had a weird relationship with my grandfather growing up; I only saw him twice a year when I was really little, so I barely remember him before he came to live with us when he had pretty advanced Alzheimer's: he never knew who I was; he didn't interact with me much; and he kind of frightened me. But then this October, when I've done very very little genealogical research due to all the other stuff I have on my plate, I find a picture of him in his high school year book from his Freshman year and my daughter brings a book from the library that is the only book I can ever remember my grandfather reading to me when I was a child. My mother, who almost never talks about my paternal grandfather, recently brought up how the only thing her father-in-law really wanted from her was for her to have children. (My mother doesn't know about our efforts of trying to conceive or the losses we've had.) I've just had a very strong sense of his presence lately.

AFM: My eldest is reviving, so my parents will be able to watch her tomorrow while we work on the house and have a date to celebrate Sweetest Day (yeah, Midwesterner here). So, I've noticed the room where we've already redone the drywall...it definitely feels cleansed of the energy from the previous occupants, but the rest of the house even with refinishing the floors, it still has the same dark energy that I think kept this house on the market so long. It's an estate sale, and the woman who lived there before her death had a disabled child who couldn't take care of herself, and I think that energy is still in the house. I'm looking for ideas to cleanse the house. (We do simple spiritual cleansing stuff on new moons, but I think this house needs a deep clean, lol.) I'm also looking for ideas of greeting the land of somewhere that's going to be a permanent home for us. Most places we've lived have been very urban and transient: we haven't lived anywhere more than a couple years. The land really spoke to us when we moved her, and that was a huge part of why we bought the property, and I want to thank it and also start the work of really setting down roots in this land.

How do you feel about feeling your grandfather's presence?  That is just special, I think.  

When I need to get negative energy out I ring bells.  I have different sized jingle bells on strings.  Depending on the levels of negativity I feel around me is how I decide what size to use or the size of the space.  I have a set that are the size of baseballs that I take around my house at Imbolc to clean out the energy.  I use smaller ones, a little bit smaller than golf balls for our waking up our garden and for my personal space.  It really seems to work for me.  That and using diluted EO sprays.  I guess it's something about the noise and the smell that changes things for me.  Also, burning incense.  The smoke and the noise can get into nooks and crannies that maybe the spray can't.  ??  

Originally Posted by Maiasaura 

We don't do Thanksgiving in my house-- for a couple of reasons. One is that my son and I both think setting aside ONE DAY a year for being grateful is obnoxious. The other is that there are just the two of us. He couldn't care less about a special meal. And doesn't particularly like turkey. The only family we have near is my mom, who is an 8-hour drive away, and she's over it too. She'd just throw a turkey breast in the crock pot and a fancy tablecloth on, and call it a day. When I was a child, we had like 20ppl around the table, it was a huge to-do, there was a kids' table, decorations...the whole 9 yards. I just don't see the point for just two of us.

SO I have a woman come take care of ds, and I go see my honey in MA.

I agree with the obnoxious-ness of being Thankful.  Last year a bunch of ppl were doing "30 days of Thanksgiving" during November on FB.  While I appreciate the sentiment I was also a little peeved that, you know, this JULY no one wrote out a list of thankfulness and posted it.  So, yes, let's be thankful all the time.  However, I do the big Thanksgiving meal here at our house for my mom, her hubs, MIL, FIL and the 3 of us.  I love having our family together and a reason to make a big a$$ dinner.  Something about nourishing those who nourished DH and I.  I don't allow it to be stressful and always keep full jars of PB and Jelly on hand in case things go awry... 

Speaking of, how is your honey in MA doing??  

Originally Posted by Kaydove 

I've been in teething hell this week! Two more bottom ones came in, so 4 on top and 4 on bottom, for a total of 8 teeth by 8 months! DD is pulling herself up on everything but still really clumsy, and she bonked her teeth against her crib twice this week and started bleeding! Poor girl. I also think she learned to whine from the neurotic dog! I think I've had a beer or wine every night this week. TGIF. 

For our anniversary, I mentioned to DH of going to the haunted Whalley house in Oldtown San Diego and he was so impressed that I would want to go. I'm usually terrified of scary movies and won't watch them at all. I figure we'll go during the day and it'll be fine. DH sees ghost and feels energy, physic, he always knows his Christmas and birthday presents, so I've always wanted to go to a haunted house with him! Should be fun. 

My step daughter (22 years) is moving back to Florida :(. Its bitter sweet. She moved out here for my DD and to develop a relationship with her dad and they've had the hardest time. They do not communicate well at all. Long story but there's been a lot of fighting, tears, and negative energy between them. She's been super helpful with the housework and DD so I've been spoiled, but all the negative energy is really hard on me. I need to do a big clean house, physically and spiritually. I also want to move to a smaller house when our lease is up in January. My DH's company might cut the game he's working on, so who knows where we'll end up if that happens. Very stressful! 

Hugs to you, mama!  Hope your stress lightens and the teething passes!!  Cool stuff on the haunted house anniversary!  Did you go this weekend?  If so, how was it?  

This weekend was our good friend's baby shower, like I said.  It was a very "pass the bean dip" kind of day... 6 hours worth but that's what we do for our friends, yes?  We are just known as their "crazy hippie friends" and we are good with that.    There is a whole group of us and we've been around for years and years so I think they are used to us.  haha.  

Today was family fall day.  My sister, BIL, DH, Z and I always have a Sunday where we carve our pumpkins, drink cider, eat apples and donuts and feel autumn-y.  It's a blast.  

[revolting]

Originally Posted by Maiasaura 

What is molecular genealogy? I KWYM about people having different versions, though-- if you asked me, I'd tell you I'm Hungarian Jew on my mother's side, and on my father's a mix of English (Mayflower), Dutch, and German, a splattering of Iroquois, some American South and North both. My brother probably would just say Jewish for our mom's side, but he'd say German on our Dad's. I think.

We don't do Thanksgiving in my house-- for a couple of reasons. One is that my son and I both think setting aside ONE DAY a year for being grateful is obnoxious. The other is that there are just the two of us. He couldn't care less about a special meal. And doesn't particularly like turkey. The only family we have near is my mom, who is an 8-hour drive away, and she's over it too. She'd just throw a turkey breast in the crock pot and a fancy tablecloth on, and call it a day. When I was a child, we had like 20ppl around the table, it was a huge to-do, there was a kids' table, decorations...the whole 9 yards. I just don't see the point for just two of us.

SO I have a woman come take care of ds, and I go see my honey in MA.

I'm weird that I start on the next holiday right after the current one is over-- but they're Pagan holidays, so I'm often early compared to secular holidays. Early November, I am starting to transition to Yule!

Molecular genealogy uses genetic testing.

You know, I don't really like a lot of the sentiment around the holiday (especially the racism), but I have a lot of family in the area, so we end up going to two Thanksgiving dinners: one with my side of the family, and one with my in-laws. They aren't huge: both sides only have about a dozen or so people, but it's nice to have a big dinner with family.

Originally Posted by Kaydove 

I got a children's chapter book on the Norse gods stories for my DD. My DH's birth last name is Oden, so I'm hoping it can help her be in touch with her ancestors growing up. 

I've been in teething hell this week! Two more bottom ones came in, so 4 on top and 4 on bottom, for a total of 8 teeth by 8 months! DD is pulling herself up on everything but still really clumsy, and she bonked her teeth against her crib twice this week and started bleeding! Poor girl. I also think she learned to whine from the neurotic dog! I think I've had a beer or wine every night this week. TGIF. 

For our anniversary, I mentioned to DH of going to the haunted Whalley house in Oldtown San Diego and he was so impressed that I would want to go. I'm usually terrified of scary movies and won't watch them at all. I figure we'll go during the day and it'll be fine. DH sees ghost and feels energy, physic, he always knows his Christmas and birthday presents, so I've always wanted to go to a haunted house with him! Should be fun. 

My step daughter (22 years) is moving back to Florida :(. Its bitter sweet. She moved out here for my DD and to develop a relationship with her dad and they've had the hardest time. They do not communicate well at all. Long story but there's been a lot of fighting, tears, and negative energy between them. She's been super helpful with the housework and DD so I've been spoiled, but all the negative energy is really hard on me. I need to do a big clean house, physically and spiritually. I also want to move to a smaller house when our lease is up in January. My DH's company might cut the game he's working on, so who knows where we'll end up if that happens. Very stressful! 

Hope everyone has a great weekend! 

How was your date?

You know, I find that as my kids get older, the more I find ways to help them connect to their ancestors. My eldest loves stories about western expansion and the civil war, and we have a Confederate civil war soldier in our family tree. My youngest loves trains, and two of our ancestors worked with trains and railroads professionally (and one of them was a railroad engineer and I have a picture of him next to his train; I printed a copy for my youngest who loves it almost as much as me). I definitely try to share Irish and Lithuanian folk tales with my kids, but I don't think they get it as anything but stories at least right now.

Sorry mamahood is rough right now. When I'm not pregnant or might be pregnant, I have a glass of something most nights while making dinner.

I think it's really sweet that your stepdaughter moved out here to try to reconcile with her father and be a part of your child's life during the itty bitty stage. I hope the stress lessens for you.

Originally Posted by vydalea 

I also feel that the veil is very thin these days.  I feel so loved during this time of year, which might sound odd...but I feel watched over.  Yesterday I was getting ready for a baby shower and thought I might wear this certain bauble-y necklace.  I put it on and then suddenly felt something weird slipping down in my back... It was this little ring that a friend who had passed had given me over 15 years ago.  I hadn't thought about this ring in AGES.  I was feeling a bit anxious about the baby shower I was about to attend and it was almost like my friend was just giving me love from the other side.  What a beautiful feeling!  

How do you feel about feeling your grandfather's presence?  That is just special, I think.  

That is beautiful! I definitely feel loved and cared for, but I also kind of sense a lot of regret from him, too, that makes me uncomfortable, like I should do something to fix it, but I'm not sure what. I'm not sure if I'm explaining it right, because it's definitely a positive feeling, but there's that part, too. IDK.

I ended up having a very early loss this weekend. I keep second guessing myself about testing, since perhaps it would have been easier just not to know. We're moving this weekend, and I have so much to do. Why am I on MDC?

[amlikam]

I am curious if any one else will be setting up an altar or anything to honor ancestors for the holiday? I have a space finally energetically cleared where I plan on making an ancestor/kwan yin/nyx altar.

I love hearing the little ways we feel connected, though I understand the feeling of wondering what the messages mean or how I might be able to help resolve unfinished business. Right now I don't feel so called to help with unfinished business but I have in the past. I think my dad imprinted on my womb before he left this plane because I felt heat spreading all over. (I was 6 weeks pregnant at the time and he knew I was pregnant before.)

As for the Christianity teaching, I feel it is a major belief structure in the world which has LOTS of pagan roots, so I LOVE LOVE LOVE to play off that and talk about the parallels and such.

But really in the end we all believe something, even if it is the absence of faith - and as long as people are mostly speaking from their hearts in tolerance, I am ok with her learning how people hold their faith. I do have issue when people suggest there is only THEIR way, when we try so hard to leave room in our hearts for them and their ways which are different than ours.

Often I breathe and suggest hugs :-)

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by vydalea While I appreciate the sentiment I was also a little peeved that, you know, this JULY no one wrote out a list of thankfulness and posted it.  So, yes, let's be thankful all the time.  However, I do the big Thanksgiving meal here at our house for my mom, her hubs, MIL, FIL and the 3 of us.  I love having our family together and a reason to make a big a$$ dinner.  Something about nourishing those who nourished DH and I.  I don't allow it to be stressful and always keep full jars of PB and Jelly on hand in case things go awry... 

Speaking of, how is your honey in MA doing??  

Right? That's what I mean! But really, for me, Thxgiving is all about family, and we have none left to speak of. My mom is 8 hours driving time away, and my brother is 14+ hours away driving time, and his two dd's are grown-- one's off doing her own thing, and the other is in college not caring about family

M is doing alright. Thanks for asking.

He has let his life go on hold since his brother died on Monday, which is understandable, but he's been letting his own life go by the wayside-- food, water, meetings-- but a lot more of cigarettes. Amazingly, he has stayed sober through all this. So he says.

BUT, for the last two nights, his ex-son-in-law has been crashing at his tiny 1-room (not 1-BR, but one 12x10 ROOM) apartment, and I am getting really pissed off about this. The short version of the backstory is this (I think I have mentioned it before, here): C used to be married to L (M's dd). Her son is 10yo, and C has been essentially father to this boy for more than half his young life.

C is an active heroin addict, and things finally came to a head a couple months ago (or as long as a year? Not sure). L filed for divorce and kicked C out. Not sure if divorce is final yet. She has a new boyfriend already! Supposedly this new guy doesn't use.

C has left "works" on the back of the toilet in the house that the son lives in. C has sold M's air conditioner, that was stored in L's basement, for drugs, and M has a life-threatening medical condition where he can NOT get overheated. He sold all of L's window units, too, for drugs (and the sad part is, heroin is only $7 a bag there-- so, a $100 window unit for a $7 bag).

He beat her, once. M was LIVID about this-- understandably. He broke in and stole and sold the boy's Playstation game system recently. His own father disowned him for ripping him off once too many times.

And M is letting this guy stay in his house??? Are you effing kidding me?? M says "He's a nice guy, I can't let him stay on the street in the cold". Um, yes you bloody well can. Everyone else has disowned him including your own dd and her son, and you take him in?
This guy isn't even trying to get clean-- but he IS playing rehab roulette, so he has a bed for a night or two or three. The man is thirty-something years old! M is 55! This is so juvenile, so not-even-college, that steam is coming out of my ears.

Of course he's a nice guy. ALL addicts are nice people-- but not while they're using. Their real self is taken over by the disease. And C is USING M--- I can't pound this home! He knows it, but doesn't get it. WTF do I do? I have to let it go. Because I'm sounding like nagging. I am so stressed about it, though

M has to lock up his medicines in the safe, while C is there, or C will steal them for selling, or for taking his ownself. This is f**king nutty, and M is not seeing it.

I was like-- "M, you had better watch that macdaddy computer that you spent a year researching, and spent your whole $1000 tax return on-- because it WILL get gone. There is no question of IF. It's a matter of WHEN", and M is just not getting it.

Ugh. What a mess.

I did have to say, that when my ds and I get up there, that guy is never going to grace our doorstep (even when M is living with us), not ever. I don't entertain addicts or thieves or drama. I didn't get sober to entertain addicts or thieves or drama. NOT.GOING.TO.HAPPEN. He can be the nicest guy on the planet, but while he is still using, he is nothing more than an addict and a thief and a user of people, and is not allowed to be around my kid or my stuff.
 

I am so mad, can y'all tell?

Originally Posted by revolting You know, I don't really like a lot of the sentiment around the holiday (especially the racism), but I have a lot of family in the area, so we end up going to two Thanksgiving dinners: one with my side of the family, and one with my in-laws. They aren't huge: both sides only have about a dozen or so people, but it's nice to have a big dinner with family.

and the civil war, and we have a Confederate civil war soldier in our family tree. 

I ended up having a very early loss this weekend.

Oh, hugs, mama, BIG huge hugs

I keep hearing about racism over Thxgiving, but I have yet to hear the story. Why? What is it? For me, it's just a big family holiday, but people around here get all in a twist about The Official Story being wrong. I have never heard WHAT is wrong, or what might be correct!

1/4 of my family is Mayflower, as I said, so we've been on this soil since 1620. In the Civil War, someone from up north went to fight in SC, and brought back a southern bride. So I have family in SC, still, too.

Originally Posted by amlikam I am curious if any one else will be setting up an altar or anything to honor ancestors for the holiday?

I had one, but then we had The Showing That Never Happened, and you have to remove every trace of "personal" from the house for showings, so I took it down. I haven't properly decorated for anything in 2 years and I am a BIG person for decorations! I just wish this freaking house would sell. I can't wait till it does-- our new apt is going to be SO decorated

[greenwitchymama]

So I'm new to the Pagan Chats--I had to re-register because my old MDC name is Christian-obvious and I'm just so not a Christian anymore. No anger, really (except at patriarchy in general) but I'm really really feeling the spirit of green witchery. Looking back over my life, I've always had a strong connection with nature spirits and I had to put away the magic as I got older because it wasn't acceptable. So I decided recently it was time to get the magic back out of the broom closet and wave goodbye to a religion that cut off major parts of my soul. 

So here I am. :) I'm eclectic, somewhat reconstructionist (not totally, because I'm an anthropology major and I've learned that I do NOT want to do all the things that ye olde pagans did.. *shudder*), and I call myself either a green witch or a wild witch. Depends on the moon phase probably lol

Samhain--going to have a girl's night in with a bestie. Wine, steampunk tarot, and Practical Magic are on the menu. DS will be home with DH watching cartoons. I'll meet with a local UU pagan group a few days before that for a formal ritual. I'm hoping to contact my grandmother. She's still alive, but so far into her dementia that I really strongly believe (and I have had two experiences to back this up) that she's already partly inhabiting the spirit world. Anyone else have an experience like that with elderly relatives?

Thanksgiving--we had ours at Mabon because it makes more sense. Also, some friends and I declared Thanksgiving to be Genocide Awareness Day and we're looking to start traditions with our families that will include education and charity work to help those in need. Share the bounty, etc.

[greenwitchymama]

Oh! And I definitely want to set up an altar, but I just keep running out of ideas, time, motivation, etc etc... Can we talk about what's on everyone's altar? I know some people mentioned some things already. Pictures of ancestors... and some.. other stuff...

[revolting]

Originally Posted by amlikam 

I am curious if any one else will be setting up an altar or anything to honor ancestors for the holiday? I have a space finally energetically cleared where I plan on making an ancestor/kwan yin/nyx altar.

I generally keep an ancestor altar on top of my fridge and give it extra love around Samhain. It's often super simple: pictures, a family tree, some candles, and an offering bowl. During Samhain, it often grows a little: I bring out my neat skull candle holders; we add the sugar skulls we buy. But still it's nothing fancy.

Originally Posted by Maiasaura 

BUT, for the last two nights, his ex-son-in-law has been crashing at his tiny 1-room (not 1-BR, but one 12x10 ROOM) apartment, and I am getting really pissed off about this. The short version of the backstory is this (I think I have mentioned it before, here): C used to be married to L (M's dd). Her son is 10yo, and C has been essentially father to this boy for more than half his young life.

C is an active heroin addict, and things finally came to a head a couple months ago (or as long as a year? Not sure). L filed for divorce and kicked C out. Not sure if divorce is final yet. She has a new boyfriend already! Supposedly this new guy doesn't use.

C has left "works" on the back of the toilet in the house that the son lives in. C has sold M's air conditioner, that was stored in L's basement, for drugs, and M has a life-threatening medical condition where he can NOT get overheated. He sold all of L's window units, too, for drugs (and the sad part is, heroin is only $7 a bag there-- so, a $100 window unit for a $7 bag).

He beat her, once. M was LIVID about this-- understandably. He broke in and stole and sold the boy's Playstation game system recently. His own father disowned him for ripping him off once too many times.

And M is letting this guy stay in his house??? Are you effing kidding me?? M says "He's a nice guy, I can't let him stay on the street in the cold". Um, yes you bloody well can. Everyone else has disowned him including your own dd and her son, and you take him in?
This guy isn't even trying to get clean-- but he IS playing rehab roulette, so he has a bed for a night or two or three. The man is thirty-something years old! M is 55! This is so juvenile, so not-even-college, that steam is coming out of my ears.

Of course he's a nice guy. ALL addicts are nice people-- but not while they're using. Their real self is taken over by the disease. And C is USING M--- I can't pound this home! He knows it, but doesn't get it. WTF do I do? I have to let it go. Because I'm sounding like nagging. I am so stressed about it, though

M has to lock up his medicines in the safe, while C is there, or C will steal them for selling, or for taking his ownself. This is f**king nutty, and M is not seeing it.

I was like-- "M, you had better watch that macdaddy computer that you spent a year researching, and spent your whole $1000 tax return on-- because it WILL get gone. There is no question of IF. It's a matter of WHEN", and M is just not getting it.

Ugh. What a mess.

I did have to say, that when my ds and I get up there, that guy is never going to grace our doorstep (even when M is living with us), not ever. I don't entertain addicts or thieves or drama. I didn't get sober to entertain addicts or thieves or drama. NOT.GOING.TO.HAPPEN. He can be the nicest guy on the planet, but while he is still using, he is nothing more than an addict and a thief and a user of people, and is not allowed to be around my kid or my stuff.
 

I am so mad, can y'all tell?

Oh, hugs, mama, BIG huge hugs

I keep hearing about racism over Thxgiving, but I have yet to hear the story. Why? What is it? For me, it's just a big family holiday, but people around here get all in a twist about The Official Story being wrong. I have never heard WHAT is wrong, or what might be correct!

1/4 of my family is Mayflower, as I said, so we've been on this soil since 1620. In the Civil War, someone from up north went to fight in SC, and brought back a southern bride. So I have family in SC, still, too.

I had one, but then we had The Showing That Never Happened, and you have to remove every trace of "personal" from the house for showings, so I took it down. I haven't properly decorated for anything in 2 years and I am a BIG person for decorations! I just wish this freaking house would sell. I can't wait till it does-- our new apt is going to be SO decorated

M sounds like a sweetie. Not having had much experience with family members being addicts, I could see how hard it might be to turn the guy away. I'm not saying it's a good idea to let C stay there, but I could see having difficulty saying no if I knew a family member had nowhere else to go. Poor M.

Here's a decent breakdown of what's wrong: http://www.oyate.org/resources/shortthanks.html

Originally Posted by greenwitchymama 

So I'm new to the Pagan Chats--I had to re-register because my old MDC name is Christian-obvious and I'm just so not a Christian anymore. No anger, really (except at patriarchy in general) but I'm really really feeling the spirit of green witchery. Looking back over my life, I've always had a strong connection with nature spirits and I had to put away the magic as I got older because it wasn't acceptable. So I decided recently it was time to get the magic back out of the broom closet and wave goodbye to a religion that cut off major parts of my soul. 

So here I am. :) I'm eclectic, somewhat reconstructionist (not totally, because I'm an anthropology major and I've learned that I do NOT want to do all the things that ye olde pagans did.. *shudder*), and I call myself either a green witch or a wild witch. Depends on the moon phase probably lol

Samhain--going to have a girl's night in with a bestie. Wine, steampunk tarot, and Practical Magic are on the menu. DS will be home with DH watching cartoons. I'll meet with a local UU pagan group a few days before that for a formal ritual. I'm hoping to contact my grandmother. She's still alive, but so far into her dementia that I really strongly believe (and I have had two experiences to back this up) that she's already partly inhabiting the spirit world. Anyone else have an experience like that with elderly relatives?

Thanksgiving--we had ours at Mabon because it makes more sense. Also, some friends and I declared Thanksgiving to be Genocide Awareness Day and we're looking to start traditions with our families that will include education and charity work to help those in need. Share the bounty, etc.

Welcome! Your Samhain sounds lovely. That tarot deck looks beautiful. I think that's an interesting thought about dementia. I also think that education and charity work on Thanksgiving sounds like a really neat idea.

Oh, and yesterday, I read in a Pagan parent blog about how starting on Oct 1, she does a countdown to Halloween with a cut out pumpkin for every day and on the back of each paper pumpkin she shares a fact about Samhain, her ancestors, etc... with a coin, small Halloween item, etc... with the last one being on a pumpkin to carve. Isn't that a cute idea? I hope to make it to the dollar store today and see if I can pull something like this off for a countdown an abbreviated, one week until Samhain countdown.

Oh, and I have been loving this beautiful chant: http://sharonknight.bandcamp.com/track/ancestor-chant

[amlikam]

Originally Posted by revolting 

Oh, and I have been loving this beautiful chant: http://sharonknight.bandcamp.com/track/ancestor-chant

OH I LOVE THIS!!!! Thank you!!!! I am a huge fan of Kellianna and her Ancestors Song. http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/kellianna2

I am actually working on a cd of chants/songs and feel an ancestor song coming soon (inspired by my 2yr apprenticeship with ALisa Starkweather.) I love hearing a new sound so thank you thank you thank you!!!

[greenwitchymama]

I love Kelliana!

[Indigo73]

Originally Posted by revolting 

Here's a decent breakdown of what's wrong: http://www.oyate.org/resources/shortthanks.html

I helped research that... and I took a couple classes with Marge Bruchac one of the scholars...  

I don't have issues with Thanksgiving as a family holiday with some good eats to reflect on the past year and the new year coming... But I do have some issues with the "crap" they teach in school about the "first" thanksgiving.  Thankfully R has never come home with Pilgrim hats or other silly junk.  We are near a couple very public tribes so things stay pretty non-typical in that respect.

[vydalea]

Originally Posted by revolting 

That is beautiful! I definitely feel loved and cared for, but I also kind of sense a lot of regret from him, too, that makes me uncomfortable, like I should do something to fix it, but I'm not sure what. I'm not sure if I'm explaining it right, because it's definitely a positive feeling, but there's that part, too. IDK.

I ended up having a very early loss this weekend. I keep second guessing myself about testing, since perhaps it would have been easier just not to know. We're moving this weekend, and I have so much to do. Why am I on MDC?

First of all, I am so sad to hear that you had a loss this weekend.   No matter if it was early or not it must still be hard on your heart.  Much love sent your way, mama.

About your grandpa- I think I understand what you're getting at.  Can you ask the spirit what it is he might need?  Acknowledge him and say can I help you?  Just an idea.  I have no real expertise in this area.  I bet someone here does, though!!  That's why I love this board!! 

Originally Posted by amlikam 

I am curious if any one else will be setting up an altar or anything to honor ancestors for the holiday? I have a space finally energetically cleared where I plan on making an ancestor/kwan yin/nyx altar.

Since the ring fell down my back I was thinking about all of the trinkets I have from my loved ones who have passed and I am thinking I will put them on my altar and do a little ceremony to remember them on my own aside from creating the tree with Z.  I'm not getting much help from my Inlaws procuring pictures so I might have to change my plan... 

Originally Posted by Maiasaura 

M is doing alright. Thanks for asking.

He has let his life go on hold since his brother died on Monday, which is understandable, but he's been letting his own life go by the wayside-- food, water, meetings-- but a lot more of cigarettes. Amazingly, he has stayed sober through all this. So he says.

And M is letting this guy stay in his house??? Are you effing kidding me?? M says "He's a nice guy, I can't let him stay on the street in the cold". Um, yes you bloody well can. Everyone else has disowned him including your own dd and her son, and you take him in?
This guy isn't even trying to get clean-- but he IS playing rehab roulette, so he has a bed for a night or two or three. The man is thirty-something years old! M is 55! This is so juvenile, so not-even-college, that steam is coming out of my ears.

1/4 of my family is Mayflower, as I said, so we've been on this soil since 1620. In the Civil War, someone from up north went to fight in SC, and brought back a southern bride. So I have family in SC, still, too.

I had one, but then we had The Showing That Never Happened, and you have to remove every trace of "personal" from the house for showings, so I took it down. I haven't properly decorated for anything in 2 years and I am a BIG person for decorations! I just wish this freaking house would sell. I can't wait till it does-- our new apt is going to be SO decorated

How is the situation with C going now?  I remember when this happened last time.  GAH!!!  I hope that M is still doing well and sticks to his sobriety as best he can while dealing with all this wildness.  

Weird, the story is during the civil war my family jetted OUT of SC to Canada because they didn't want to fight the cousins in the North.  Ha ha.  

Maybe not having personal items in the house is somehow keeping it from selling?  On some level?  Again, I have no expertise in this area but if you haven't had anything decorated for 2 years and for 2 years nothing... maybe it's time to take a new route?  

Originally Posted by greenwitchymama 

So I'm new to the Pagan Chats--I had to re-register because my old MDC name is Christian-obvious and I'm just so not a Christian anymore. No anger, really (except at patriarchy in general) but I'm really really feeling the spirit of green witchery. Looking back over my life, I've always had a strong connection with nature spirits and I had to put away the magic as I got older because it wasn't acceptable. So I decided recently it was time to get the magic back out of the broom closet and wave goodbye to a religion that cut off major parts of my soul. 

So here I am. :) I'm eclectic, somewhat reconstructionist (not totally, because I'm an anthropology major and I've learned that I do NOT want to do all the things that ye olde pagans did.. *shudder*), and I call myself either a green witch or a wild witch. Depends on the moon phase probably lol

Samhain--going to have a girl's night in with a bestie. Wine, steampunk tarot, and Practical Magic are on the menu. DS will be home with DH watching cartoons. I'll meet with a local UU pagan group a few days before that for a formal ritual. I'm hoping to contact my grandmother. She's still alive, but so far into her dementia that I really strongly believe (and I have had two experiences to back this up) that she's already partly inhabiting the spirit world. Anyone else have an experience like that with elderly relatives?

Thanksgiving--we had ours at Mabon because it makes more sense. Also, some friends and I declared Thanksgiving to be Genocide Awareness Day and we're looking to start traditions with our families that will include education and charity work to help those in need. Share the bounty, etc.

Welcome, greenwitchymama!!   

Originally Posted by greenwitchymama 

Oh! And I definitely want to set up an altar, but I just keep running out of ideas, time, motivation, etc etc... Can we talk about what's on everyone's altar? I know some people mentioned some things already. Pictures of ancestors... and some.. other stuff...

Currently my altar is very simple with a goddess statue, drying flowers, a candle and a leaf.  It was getting complicated and crowded and I needed to start fresh.  

Originally Posted by Indigo73 

I helped research that... and I took a couple classes with Marge Bruchac one of the scholars...  

I don't have issues with Thanksgiving as a family holiday with some good eats to reflect on the past year and the new year coming... But I do have some issues with the "crap" they teach in school about the "first" thanksgiving.  Thankfully R has never come home with Pilgrim hats or other silly junk.  We are near a couple very public tribes so things stay pretty non-typical in that respect.

I agree, when Z comes home with pilgrim hats or native american garb we are going to have to talk about what Thanksgiving means to us.  She's 2 now so we just talk about being thankful for the family we have to support us right now.  

Alright, I am currently being begged to go on a hunt for a caterpillar so off I go... much love to everyone!! 

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by vydalea How is the situation with C going now?  I remember when this happened last time.  GAH!!!  I hope that M is still doing well and sticks to his sobriety as best he can while dealing with all this wildness. 

Maybe not having personal items in the house is somehow keeping it from selling?  On some level?  Again, I have no expertise in this area but if you haven't had anything decorated for 2 years and for 2 years nothing... maybe it's time to take a new route?  

C came by the other day (yesterday?) to hang out and talk physics with M. Apparently the guy is uber smart-- I said, "Then he should be getting a job, or going to school, and finding a place to live."

I just asked M, and he said that C *is* trying to get clean-- that he's been mostly clean for the last 3 months (!!) and has slipped a couple times in there, but is trying. I hope that's true.

M said "thank you very much" when I read to him what you said, above. He's so sweet that way! He really is humbled by all y'all's thoughts and prayers.

No, I doubt it-- the idea is that people want to picture THEIR things in here, so no preferences for sports teams, religions, no personal photos, things like that. I could do some decorating if it's generic and minimal. You bet your arse I am going to put up a Yule tree. Not that people usually buy during December anyway.

[Kaydove]

Sorry I've been MIA all week! We've been busy making sure stepdaughter is having a good last week, she leaves on Saturday. Her, DD, and I went down to Coronado today and had so much fun! Tomorrow we're going on a hike with my Crunchy Moms meetup group, which we're looking forward to.
The house is a wreck but I told DH tonight that I'm not going to spend a ton of time cleaning it on stepd's last few days here so I'll do a big cleaning on Sunday. I want to cleanse the negative energy out anyways.

DH and I didn't end up going to the haunted house because he got the flu from a flu shot he got at work on Friday. Poor guy, he tried so hard to feel better, he was so sick.

Revolting - I had a miscarriage in December 2010. Sending you hugs and healing your way. I'm so sorry.

Maia - M sounds like he has a big heart, but that situation makes me so nervous and something he absolutely does not need to be dealing with right now!!!!
I remember hearing somewhere that it helps buyers to see personal items in homes vs seeing none at all. I don't remember the reasoning behind it...I say its worth a try. Although religious items should probably still be put away.


My DH is half native American. He grew up in a town with a huge native population, so he was taught what really happened with settlers and indians at a young age. He was upset when I told him what kids are taught these days. I'm sure DD is going to be the only kindergartener who knows exactly what happened. I asked him about what it a few months ago and he said that he's going to tell her the truth, that she's part Indian so she can handle hearing it. I worry it'll be too much for her little brain to deal with but I respect him wanting her to know the truth.

I want to get my dna tested with the human genome project! You find out your ancestory and it benefits their research! Its $200 so I asked for it for Samhain next year. I don't know that much about my ancestory because my mom has told me contradicting things over the years :/ I know somebody mentioned Dna testing up thread (I'm on my kindle so I cant look up the post).

Hope everyone has a good weekend! We're going to go downtown, all for of us, on Saturday for a family day.

Sent from my Kindle Fire using Tapatalk 2

[Indigo73]

Actually Maia, I want to give you a bit of hope.  Each and EVERY time we moved since we married, except for this last move, was between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  That includes two house closings... Poor Ryne got his first tree in his home when he was 8.  We are renting right now, but should be ready to start looking in Oct 2013, so who knows if it's a quick turn around me might be back to our usual time of the year to move.  Although I have to say moving without snow on the ground is pretty nice.  

[greenwitchymama]

So excited for tonight's formal ritual! My group has some great energy. I need to think of something for the personal ritual time--I don't really have any ancestors to contact, though I'd like to contact a friend who died in Iraq. I've been thinking about her a lot lately, and I don't usually except around the anniversary of her death. Long story.

More relevant is one of my best friends whose mother died 6 months ago today. I want to do something for her. Any ideas? I'm pretty eclectic and the ritual is Wiccan-flavored but not rigidly so, so I'm open to pretty much anything. We get a space of time after the main part to do our own spell while the circle is still cast, so just something a few minutes long is what I'm looking for. 

[honeybee80]

Hi Everyone!  I've dabbled in pagan/witchy stuff for the last few years and I really would like to get more knowledgeable about all of it, as it's what feels the most comfortable for me spiritually.  I just put a few books on hold from the library and I'm excited to get reading!  Hoping to learn some new things from you lovely ladies as well! :)

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by Kaydove Maia - M sounds like he has a big heart, but that situation makes me so nervous and something he absolutely does not need to be dealing with right now!!!!
I remember hearing somewhere that it helps buyers to see personal items in homes vs seeing none at all. I don't remember the reasoning behind it...I say its worth a try. Although religious items should probably still be put away.

M does have a big heart. But he's also a doormat. Dysfunctional, addicted families tend to have lots of that, too, co-dependency and what-not. C just called from L's house-- half an hour away!-- and asked M if he would drive all the way down there to give him a ride back to where M lives. Um, yeah, as if! Just 6 months ago...even 3 months ago, M would not have hesitated to do this! On his own dime! And if he didn't, he'd feel guilty. Now, he understands just how ludicrous that is. If he wants to do such a thing, he now expects gas money. GOOD, I say!

What I mean by personal items are photographs of me and my loved ones, religious items, sports teams, political signs in the yard, my son's sports trophies. Otherwise, the house looks homey and lived-in, but clean and spotless when prospective buyers come to look. We do keep the stuffed animals on the bed, and books on the shelf. Does that make more sense?

Originally Posted by Indigo73 Actually Maia, I want to give you a bit of hope.  Each and EVERY time we moved since we married, except for this last move, was between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  That includes two house closings... Poor Ryne got his first tree in his home when he was 8.  We are renting right now, but should be ready to start looking in Oct 2013, so who knows if it's a quick turn around me might be back to our usual time of the year to move.  Although I have to say moving without snow on the ground is pretty nice.  

Gawd, that would be so cool. I bought this house in September, and moved in before Halloween. No more word yet, though My realtor's contract expires in December. If no more showings by then, I am going to take it off the market, I think, for a month or two, and maybe try somebody else. I mean-- she has worked her tookas off, but now she's pushing for me to lower the price, and I will not do it any more. I can't go any lower. If people came through and said "Oh, it's nice, but too expensive", I could see it. But people aren't even looking. Nobody is bringing their clients by. It's a total mystery.

How does Ryne pronouce his name? Is it Rinn (to rhyme with sin, lol) or Rhyne (like the river)? Or something else entirely?

Originally Posted by greenwitchymama More relevant is one of my best friends whose mother died 6 months ago today. I want to do something for her. Any ideas? I'm pretty eclectic and the ritual is Wiccan-flavored but not rigidly so, so I'm open to pretty much anything. We get a space of time after the main part to do our own spell while the circle is still cast, so just something a few minutes long is what I'm looking for. 

Did you figure out something? It's the next day already, sorry I saw it late.

Originally Posted by honeybee80 

Hi Everyone!  I've dabbled in pagan/witchy stuff for the last few years and I really would like to get more knowledgeable about all of it, as it's what feels the most comfortable for me spiritually.  I just put a few books on hold from the library and I'm excited to get reading!  Hoping to learn some new things from you lovely ladies as well! :)

Hi and welcome! Merry meet!

I think I'm the only one left here from the original crowd. Dang.

The public Samhain ritual last night was very powerful, as usual. I got to leave my ds at home, for the first time, in the evening! He was OK. Didn't even have to call me at all which is good, because we were asked not to have phones on. I put mine on vibrate and put it in my sock.

I had this weird thing happen to me during it, during the chant-- I am not normally a prophetic person in the least, but I have the lingering cough of bronchitis, and I had this very clear knowledge that this is what I am going to die from-- bronchitis, or a cough or some such where I will be having trouble breathing, or coughing up whatever is clogging my lungs. I hope it's not soon And I hope I'm wrong. I've been prone to bronchitis all my life, and it stinks to not be able to cough stuff up.

[greenwitchymama]

Wow, Maiasaura... That's pretty intense. Let's just assume it won't happen until you're 110 and you just kind of cough yourself out of the world in your sleep. :)

Our Samhain ritual was pretty good--we did some goal working and banishing (which I needed!). 

Then I had girls night last night and we totally skipped the tarot and magic and watched Doctor Who instead lol. But it was magical, I swear!