Hi Everyone,
Well, the homebirth of my first baby did not go as planned and suprisingly I'm okay with it. It's a little surreal but I have a beautiful baby that makes me feel good!
Basically, I labored at home with my midwives, birthing pool and a futon matress for 36 hours. By that time I had not had regular contractions for a while. In the very beginning I was having them like crazy and dilated to a 6, every 5 minutes or so and then they petered out. I tried the tub (which felt soooo good but I think it made things slow down), an herbal enema, the breast pump and more herbs...nothing worked! At that point I reluctantly said that I'd like to transfer and get some help. I had slept for only 2 or so hours and had very small labor meals. I was pretty pooped. We went to the hospital and surprisingly they were very very kind to us. I was expecting very nasty treatment but my experience there was nothing but pleasant. I got a dose of pitocin and an epidural (something I could not belive I was consenting to, in fact I was happy to have it). I had a nap and boom, it was time to push. So, I began to push...they said try and give 3 pushes if you can, I gave them 5! I was ready to see my baby and there was a light at the end of the tunnel! After about an hour or so of pushing, the dr. (very kind, pleasant woman) wanted to check baby's position. "It's posterior...no wait...it's transverse". My baby had been LOA even when they checked me earlier in the hospital. She tried to turn my baby during a contraction...very unpleasant as by this time the epidural had worn off. The dr. wanted to keep trying to turn my baby but at this point...49 hours into it...I would have nothing of it. I was screaming like a stuck pig and I wanted them to just take me out back and shoot me. I knew something wasn't going right. Yes, again something I would never have dreamed, I begged them to cut my baby out. Surprisingly, another credit to this dr., my midwife believes that she knew I was coming from a homebirth and she seemed to want to avoid a c section so that I could have the birth I wanted. I could feel that when I was pushing my baby was being pushed sideways into my pelvis. Baby wasn't moving out of my pelvis. So, reluctantly they wheeled me in and operated. They pulled out my 9 pound 15 ounce, 22 inch whopper of a baby boy! It isn't what I intended. But this is one of those times that I feel the medical establishment had a place in labor. I'm glad I had the option. I was afraid I would feel like a failure, I may later on, I'm not sure. It saddens me all the things I had planned...not cutting the cord for a while, getting to hold my baby and find out the sex at my leisure, etc. Also, I'm a little taken aback that if I want another baby, it's either c section or vbac or of course hbac, which I'm not sure about at this point. My choices are limited. I told Dh very kindly during pushing that this would be our only child. I'm sure I'm not the first to mutter those words. 2 weeks later I'm already thinking that the pain may have not been so bad!
Thanks for listening. I just need a little support right now. This is a place I had no idea I would be.
Amy
Well, the homebirth of my first baby did not go as planned and suprisingly I'm okay with it. It's a little surreal but I have a beautiful baby that makes me feel good!
Basically, I labored at home with my midwives, birthing pool and a futon matress for 36 hours. By that time I had not had regular contractions for a while. In the very beginning I was having them like crazy and dilated to a 6, every 5 minutes or so and then they petered out. I tried the tub (which felt soooo good but I think it made things slow down), an herbal enema, the breast pump and more herbs...nothing worked! At that point I reluctantly said that I'd like to transfer and get some help. I had slept for only 2 or so hours and had very small labor meals. I was pretty pooped. We went to the hospital and surprisingly they were very very kind to us. I was expecting very nasty treatment but my experience there was nothing but pleasant. I got a dose of pitocin and an epidural (something I could not belive I was consenting to, in fact I was happy to have it). I had a nap and boom, it was time to push. So, I began to push...they said try and give 3 pushes if you can, I gave them 5! I was ready to see my baby and there was a light at the end of the tunnel! After about an hour or so of pushing, the dr. (very kind, pleasant woman) wanted to check baby's position. "It's posterior...no wait...it's transverse". My baby had been LOA even when they checked me earlier in the hospital. She tried to turn my baby during a contraction...very unpleasant as by this time the epidural had worn off. The dr. wanted to keep trying to turn my baby but at this point...49 hours into it...I would have nothing of it. I was screaming like a stuck pig and I wanted them to just take me out back and shoot me. I knew something wasn't going right. Yes, again something I would never have dreamed, I begged them to cut my baby out. Surprisingly, another credit to this dr., my midwife believes that she knew I was coming from a homebirth and she seemed to want to avoid a c section so that I could have the birth I wanted. I could feel that when I was pushing my baby was being pushed sideways into my pelvis. Baby wasn't moving out of my pelvis. So, reluctantly they wheeled me in and operated. They pulled out my 9 pound 15 ounce, 22 inch whopper of a baby boy! It isn't what I intended. But this is one of those times that I feel the medical establishment had a place in labor. I'm glad I had the option. I was afraid I would feel like a failure, I may later on, I'm not sure. It saddens me all the things I had planned...not cutting the cord for a while, getting to hold my baby and find out the sex at my leisure, etc. Also, I'm a little taken aback that if I want another baby, it's either c section or vbac or of course hbac, which I'm not sure about at this point. My choices are limited. I told Dh very kindly during pushing that this would be our only child. I'm sure I'm not the first to mutter those words. 2 weeks later I'm already thinking that the pain may have not been so bad!
Thanks for listening. I just need a little support right now. This is a place I had no idea I would be.
Amy
You did good, mama. You are right, you used medical intervention in exactly the way it should be. Congrats on your beautiful baby!
sorry your labor was so long and difficult though. It sounds like you were still in charge of all the decision making, treated with respect, and that you exhausted all options - so you can feel good that everything that happened was what was needed. That's great you got such a cool doc too.
That took courage! And smarts! Good for you! Medical science is wonderful, and that's why it exists - to use it when you NEED to!
and the author stresses that babies are born the way they need to be born. It's really OK. 
and you've been on both sides of the natural vs. Pit ctx fence [like me, which is why I dare to write this]) an epidural, pushing, and a cesarean birth.
