Over the past few weeks we've had some stressful moments, mainly around my husband's job being eliminated and us waiting to see what job the company was going to replace it with. Over the weeks my husband kept telling me how much he appreciated me not freaking out and being supportive. I'm so happy that I am able to help keep a calm and mostly positive environment at home when he's stressed out about work/money/life.
But the past 5 years since we've been married has been extremely stressful. From a surprise pregnancy at 21 and getting married to him at 22, after knowing him for only 4 months, to moving several times, the death of his father, food pantry visits, a bankruptcy, to having 2 more children (now we're at 3 kids under 5) and me always trying to be the one to pick up all the pieces when things (keep) falling apart.
I'm so grateful that even with all of this I have been able to take time to introspect and learn more about myself as a woman. But right now, I really just want to fall apart. I haven't cried in a long time, but yesterday I was on the phone with a friend and completely broke down. I just am tired of always having to hold it together and be the strong one. I want to be able to say to my husband, "I need to break open... I need you to just take care of me," without it seeming like I'm ungrateful for the hard work he does do to help support our family financially.
I know we all need a break, but I've been taking care of him and the children non-stop for 5 years. When is it time for someone to take care of me? Does that sound selfish?