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Frustrated......needing advice potty training/nap time/bedtime

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 

My son is 2 1/2.

We started potty training a couple months ago.  He really learned fast as far as peeing goes.... but wouldn't poop for anything.  Finally, if we let him go without underwear, he would go on the potty for both.  But then when we reintroduce wearing underwear he pees and poops in them.  :(     Now he's at least peeing part of the time if I pay attention again to getting him on there every half hour or so but refuses to poop.  He has had some success and was doing well with it for a couple of days but now has no interest in it at all and sometimes gets upset when I ask him to just sit there to pee!  Suggestions?


Furthermore.....theres bedtime.  He gets up at 7.  Pretty much clockwork.  Lunch is around 11:30 or 12 and then naptime is 12 or 12:30.  I think the problem is he's been sleeping too long at naptime....sometimes 3 hours!  Then at 8 - 8:30 when I go to put him to bed, he's fine with being in his bed but stays awake and plays about 4 nights out of 7 for sometimes 2 hours or more!  So do you think just by waking him before 2:00 from naptime might solve this?  Making his bedtime later is just NOT an option.  It's the only time I have to spend with my older kids doing things for 'fun' that he can't be part of .... or with my DH on nights that he's home.  So I really need to keep bedtime at 8:00-8:30...and I really want him asleep by 9 ish  or so because my older son sleeps in the same room and his playing, singing and laughing is cute but keeps my older son awake.  Any thoughts on that?

post #2 of 12
Thread Starter 

He was fine all morning.....without underwear.... about a half hour after we put a pair on he hid behind the powder room door and pooped.... the second time in two days for that trick.  Oh, I'm so aggravated....not sure what to do!

post #3 of 12

I didn't bother using underwear for my daughter for a month or so. I think she needed a fair amount of time to adjust ... perhaps the feel of underwear makes him feel like he has a diaper and can pee/poop in it.  The child has to be retaught a new way to pee and anything snug may give them the wrong impression.  Also, without underwear, it was much easier getting the pants down to get on the toilet.


For night time, she wears a cloth diaper (she used to wear disposable diaper). When she wakes I get her dressed immediately (I have already been awake for an hour so I'm ready to go :)). I take off the diaper, if its dry (it has been now for awhile), I take her right over to the toilet and sit her on it.  I could/she could be done with the night diaper, but she sleeps in my bed, and Im trying to avoid extra washing in case of accidents. :)

Edited by SunRise - 10/3/12 at 8:35pm
post #4 of 12
I agree... dd2 is 2 years and it took many weeks without underwear (where dd1 was dry and in pantries from day 1 of potty training) I kept trying and she kept having accidents. I say no undies.

For sleep, try the shorter nap thing and see if it works.... no harm, right?

Good luck.
post #5 of 12
Thread Starter 

Sigh...  You may be right (though he went for days peeing on the potty....taking down his underwear himself even....)  but my dilemma with that is that it really REALLY bothers my older girl (she's 17) and for other reasons we are trying to be respectful of her when it comes to things involving my toddler....  ugh.... not sure what to do. Maybe we'll go back to no underwear just for a few days...  but it's getting colder now too and I worry about him being cold.  I will probably have to try that again though...

post #6 of 12

It could also be a bit of regression - maybe his schedule changed, maybe just a few more accidents before getting to the next stage. My daughter just went through a potty regression. It lasted several days to 5 or so (her dad was going away, she was starting a new daycare or maybe it was because she was advancing to the next stage of learning to fully trained). But we stayed strong with advancing. We didnt revert to diapers again. Just kept working with her and wiping up some messes. She is now fully in control again and even telling me when she has to go (rather then me initiating it).

post #7 of 12
Thread Starter 

I think you've hit the nail on the head there SunRise....  I've thought of that.  Nothing has necessarily changed for our toddler....BUT  .... WE have been under an enormous amount of stress/grief, etc.  and I'm thinking as much as we've tried to keep it calm for him, he's probably picking up on it....    BUT!!  We DID have success this morning (without underwear)  and he finally got the little train track I've promised him if he pooped on the potty....  we sang and danced.. he smiled sang and danced too!  And got a special treat on top of it.   Hopefully we're on the right track again.


Oh, and for the past two nights he's gone to sleep before ten....an improvement with waking him up prior to two hours of sleeping at nap time....   I'm wondering if I should shorten it to one hour?

post #8 of 12

Have you tried letting him go "commando" instead of wearing undies?  That might make a difference for him, while being sensitive to your older daughter.

post #9 of 12
Thread Starter 

No...I had not thought of that... do you think it may make a difference?  I guess it would still be not a tight fit up there like a diaper or underwear would be so I guess that might make a difference? Hmmmm.....

post #10 of 12

That is what I meant ... "commando". When she was underwearless for the month or so, she did wear pants.

post #11 of 12

My daughter also wanted to poop in her underwear/pants instead of the potty.  We'd have her bare-bottom for hours, but then would need to get in the car or go down the road or something. I'd put her in pants, and she'd poop right away. We tried staying home a lot but there'd always be something that required clothing at some point or other.  I tried offering the potty very frequently, but she just preferred her pants.  


My mother-in-law ended up coming up with our solution, and at first we resisted it, but after a lot of poopy pants, we tried it, and our daughter learned to poop in the potty in 2 days - every time too.  What worked was giving her a popsicle when she pooped in the potty. I know it sounds awful, but wow, she learned so fast.  And very quickly we phased out the popsicles (which were always just natural frozen juice).   My mother-in-law is an ECE teacher, and she said that sometimes there is a place for rewards. I do feel guilty telling others about this strategy though, but it was a miracle in our lives.

post #12 of 12
Thread Starter 

I see nothing wrong with rewards whatsoever.  That's how we trained our first son and we have tried this with this one.  He likes the treats for peeing (which we have phased out quite a bit...only when he requests it now which is maybe once every 5 times...) and have actually offered 'bigger' prizes for pooping.  He seems to want the prizes but still wants to poop in his pants.  The last three days we have had a lot of success....OUT of pants.  But he has also pooped IN pants 3 times.  I'm going to try the 'commando' thing this week I think.....while we are at home.

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