My wonderful Mom died in July. She was the greatest woman I have ever know and was loved by everyone the knew her.
She was cremated and her ashes divided into two different urns (larger and smaller), both of which were chosen by ds (one when he was 10, the other just after Mom died, he's now 13).
He asked if we could bury one in the plot with my Dad and keep the other one in our home. Dh and I said if this is what he would like, we thought his Gran would like it, too. He was the light of her life and they were incredibly close. (((We'll bury the other urn when a beloved cousing comes for a visit in October.)))
So, Mom is now sitting on our living room bookcase and the little urn is lovely. It doesn't bother any of us and, in a weird way, it's nice having her here!
My dear fil was over for a visit the other night and asked about the pretty "vase" on the shelf. Ds said, "Oh, that's not a vase, that's Gran! We're keeping a bit of her here, so she'll always be with us!"
My fil looked like he was going to choke. In his world, you bury someone (either their body or their ashes) and that is that. He said he thought it was wrong to have her here, she should be in the cemetary where she belongs. Ds got upset and responded (not in a nasty way), "Well, we think she belongs here. Don't worry, you can be in the cemetary with Nana." Ds is still pretty sad about her death and what fil said really pissed him off (didn't please me much, either)! Dh told his Dad that it's okay to feel how he feels, but to respect us and ds on our feelings on this. Ds apologized to fil for raising his voice but not for his feelings (though fil did not respond in kind, which bothers me). Subject was dropped.
Fil is now a bit angry with all of us and thinks we are carrying things way too far (and, that it is wrong)). It's not like it impacts his life or that he has to see the urn daily. We just have a different way of dealing with death and grief.
Sigh, why do people get so tweaked about things related to death???
Not worried about fil, he'll come around (or, at least drop the subject) and we've agreed we'll move Mom into another room when he visits.
Anybody else have weird reactions to how they dealt with a death??