sleep issues with my lovely 10month old

[lulu x]

Dear fellow parents,

I have a wonderful 10 month old boy that is a night nurser and whom, most of the time, still needs to be rocked to go to sleep.

Issue #1. While my husband and I have nurtured his sleep needs, we have recently begun feeling burned out. The every 2-3 hour night wakes have taken their toll for several reasons. We are often awakened from a dead sleep to our crying baby, As a result, many time I cannot get back to sleep and am left wide  awake in the early morning hours. Most of the time he cannot sooth himself back to sleep.  By the way, he shares our bed. I sort of feel guilty for complaining about this because, after all, he still is a baby. Has anyone experienced this issue? Please share.

Issue #2. As our baby is growing rocking him has become exhausting.  Sometimes he is rocked for 15 to 20 minutes before he is asleep.  When  he was 9 lbs. that was not an issue but now that he is heavier this routine is starting to cause chronic pain in various parts of the arms and lower back. Has anyone experienced this issue? Please share, we feel helpless.

[skycheattraffic]

Well, 10 months was a difficult time for us as well.is your LO napping well? We found that blackout drapes and white noise were necessary for DD to nap and they also help at night. About the wakings, my DD is still up 1 to 4 times a night (1 is very rare) and she's 18 months old. We don't cosleep since DD is a very active sleeper and DH can't risk losing much sleep for medical reasons. She's in another room and we have a monitor. When she wakes, I go in, usually I have to change her (otherwise she floods the crib) and nurse her to sleep in a recliner. She's 27lbs so I certainly understand the strain but we are well supported and comfortable even if I fall asleep too. Do you get up and walk around rocking him? I would think that if you cosleep, you would just offer the breast lying down and drift right back to sleep while he nurses. This works well for us from time to time when I'm desperate and would consider it part time if it wasn't for DH's medical issue. Is there a specific reason you don't nurse to sleep? It's the easiest way at our house to get as much sleep as possible for everyone. With the soothing back to sleep, I find that the first ten seconds are decisive. If DD cries/talks for more than that then she needs help and the longer I wait the harder it is to get everyone sleeping again. How long do you wait before you soothe him? On the nights when we happen to cosleep (in bed or the recliner), I offer the breast after a couple of seconds and I'm asleep again in a couple of minutes.
Could he be overtired? How much sleep is he getting overnight and for naps? DD always has a worse time falling/staying asleep if she's overtired so naps are crucial for us.
So my suggestions are
- dark room and white noise
- consistent naps to make sure he isn't overtired
- take advantage of nursing lying down and nursing to sleep.

Good luck, I hope you find something helpful.

[treehugz]

We went through a rocking-to-sleep-only phase with my dd.  I think she was 20 pounds by 5 months old, so I understand how taxing it can be on your arms/back.  15-20 minutes of rocking doesn't sound like that much compared to how long it would take my dd sometimes.  Are you using just a rocking chair?  Can you mix it up to give some relief to your different muscles?  Some ideas to try...

1. Various pillows to prop arms on to make holding baby in the rocking chair easier and to mix up arm positions.

2. Using a baby carrier while dancing... the rocking step of a waltz works like rocking.  Dd LOVED to fall asleep waltzing either in arms or in a carrier.

3. Different rocking chairs with different armrests to mix it up... we used a vintage folding rocker and a porch swing some in addition to the glider.  Also a desk chair that swivels might be enough, just going side-to-side a little.

4. A baby swing... we didn't often use "contraptions", but the swing was a last resort sometimes when my arms gave out.  Usually dd preferred to be in my arms but the swing worked when she was overtired.

I'll try to remember other things we did, but I think I've blocked a lot of it out!  As for the frequent night waking, my dd did that for a long time... she would wake up to breastfeed, then wake up because she had to pee, then again when the diaper got uncomfortable, would go back to sleep but then wake again during light sleep because of the wet diaper.  If you're not already, you could try changing wet diapers during the night instead of waiting till morning.  You could try offering the potty during the night when he wakes if you're up for trying elimination communication.  Both of those things helped us get through various phases of frequent night waking... there were other phases for frequent night waking too, like growth spurts and teething (which led to more night feedings/wet diapers) and developmental phases like learning to crawl and walk.  But these phases will pass. 

It's really hard for me to fall asleep after being awakened from a dead sleep too... I thought I was going to go crazy getting up 5 times a night to pee when I was pregnant this last time.  Usually I can fall asleep pretty well the first time or two, then I can use breathing and relaxation to help fall asleep another time or two, but after the 3rd or 4th time and it's after 3 or 4 in the morning, I might as well just get up and do something because there's no way I can relax after that.  

Good luck! 

[lulu x]

I appreciate your feedback...

Skycheattraffic- I certainly should not be complaining given I'm dealing with this at 10 months and not 18. I wish you luck as well.

I nurse him to sleep that is working great and when he used to wake up in the middle of the night to 'hunger-nurse' that was no problem as I sometimes did not even awaken myself; however, most of the night-nursing is now associated with habit - I am sure, because he nods off a minutes later.

As for naps, in the earlier months we struggled with those but having realized what you mentioned ' dark room and white noise' that problem has, for the most part, been taken care of.

Treehugz - I think you are correct when we consider the reasons why something else could be happening the reasons are numerous. The frustrating thing is that at 7 months he and I tool a trip to see my mother in a different State and ever since I've returned from that trip this constant night waking began. Prior to that trip he was waking up one a night to feed! I think one of the things that also could be happening is separation anxiety because he used to stick like glue to me while sleeping and recently I've noticed that he's sleeping more separately. It's just a speculation.

As for rocking chairs, we never did that; just the waltz move or what I would call for us balance's :)

Many thanks.

p.s I am reading the Sears 'Baby Sleep Book' and it is making feel more accepting.

[skycheattraffic]

If he nods off in a couple of minutes, I would just give him the breast in bed quickly and everyone would be asleep in a few minutes. He may not be nursing for a lot of milk but he is seeking comfort at the breast. At his age it's very normal to be the only comfort that he will accept.

[treehugz]

Originally Posted by skycheattraffic He may not be nursing for a lot of milk but he is seeking comfort at the breast. At his age it's very normal to be the only comfort that he will accept.

Originally Posted by lulu x As for rocking chairs, we never did that; just the waltz move or what I would call for us balance's :)

Look at the bright side... you and dh will have fabulous calf muscles!!

That sounds like good mommy insight about the trip and the separation anxiety... my dd was pretty high needs and very attached to me from day 1.  We went through a couple of separation anxiety phases too that were triggered by specific incidents.  Good for you for listening to your instincts!