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underwear?

post #1 of 7
10/4/12 at 12:58pm
Thread Starter 

My 3 1/2 year old has only been out of dipes for about 10 weeks or so.  When we first started going without, I put him in underwear and it seemed to confuse him, like he felt like they were similar enough to diapers that he should be able to pee in them.  So I stopped putting underwear on him at all.  Now we've gotten two indirect nudges from his preschool teacher  --  once when he had an accident (only one so far!), she put a note on the bag of wet shorts that said I need to bring in replacement shorts and underwear, and then today he said that she helped him with his pants (first time I sent him in with zip fly and snap) and told him he should be wearing underwear.  

 

What do you think?  Is it inappropriate for me to send him with no unders?  I asked him if he wants to wear them and he absolutely does not want to.  OTOH, he loves it when I make him stuff and little homemade boxers are so cute, so there might be an upside to it.  But if it were up to me, I probably wouldn't be pressuring him to wear them.  I can't tell how serious the teacher is about it.  FAIK, she doesn't really care.

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post #2 of 7
10/4/12 at 1:17pm

no uw under shorts would not fly with dd's dc. 

 

is his ps for kids who have been potty trained? could she be angry because they dont really have changing facilities (if they are meant to be pottytrained).

 

if kids are not meant to be potty trained, then i think the teacher is fussing too much. 

 

i would send change of clothes always. 

 

would he wear storemade boxers till you can stitch him some?

post #3 of 7
10/4/12 at 2:38pm
Thread Starter 

Yes, the kids have to be able to use the bathroom to go there.  But I'm not sure why they'd need changing facilities to handle the fact that he's wearing shorts with no underwear.  He just needs to go into the bathroom, pull them down, pee, pull them up just like if he had underwear on.  Maybe I'm missing something?

 

He does have a change of clothes there, it just doesn't include underwear because he doesn't wear them.

 

I'm not sure if he would wear store bought boxers.  I could probably convince him to do almost anything, but I'm not sure if I should bother.

 

I'm pretty sure his teacher is not actually angry.  If it really bothered her, I think she'd say something more direct.  I was just wondering what other people thought because to me wearing underwear or not wearing underwear just seems like a personal choice with no right or wrong answer.  But maybe I'm off on that and it is really bizarre or somehow bad for a 3 year old to go underwear-less.  Do you know why your dd's day care had an issue with it?

post #4 of 7
10/4/12 at 4:44pm

Preschool teacher (and mama) here, I'll see if I can shed some light.

 

If a kid has a poop accident without underwear on it is EVERYWHERE (ask me how I know!) underwear at least contains it some (unless its huge or runny or whatever).

 

Some kids are more like to play with their penises if they only have on shorts (again an issue of "holding things in" and the freedom experienced can sometimes encourage more play) something I have seen at school

 

If you send him in wide legged shorts when sitting on the floor or at the table he may be "exposed"

 

 

However, besides the poop issue I would have no problem with a kid not wearing underwear as long as they weren't making a big deal about it. Some kids don't put on underwear when they dress themselves and their parents don't know that, which could be why she is telling you.  (The other day ds wore his nighttime pullup under his underwear, under his pants to school.  I was working that day and noticed but dp didn't notice because ds dressed himself).

 

Just send him in pants he can do himself (elastic waist, not too tight) and maybe tell her that you are purposely not putting him in underwear and then if it is school policy that they have to wear underwear that's when she'll tell you.

post #5 of 7
10/4/12 at 6:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by rubidoux View Post

Do you know why your dd's day care had an issue with it?

gosh i never cared to find out esp. since having a girl it made sense. it was a policy. but reading tbone's reply it makes sense. 

post #6 of 7
10/4/12 at 6:51pm
Thread Starter 
Ah! The possible poop accident makes perfect sense! So far, he hasn't had a single poop accident anywhere, but that does make me want to put unders on him just in case. I'll have to make a few pairs this weekend.
post #7 of 7
10/22/12 at 8:05pm

my son isnt fully trained yet and he still poops in pullup at school. he is required to wear a pullup if not trained completely. but he is only 3 yrs old.