I was just curious how many moms here with children on the autism spectrum (or any dev/ other disability, really)stay home with their children, specifically school-aged, and if it was a choice regardless of their child's condition (because you are a SAHM with your other kids as well and it isn't based off of your child's ASD) or because you essentially have no other choice- there is too much work and not the right kind of care available for them for you to work a normal job. Right now my son just started kindergarten, and goes to IBI (which is about to shift into developmental therapy because his IBI is almost up) after, so he is "cared for" a large chunk of the day, but I also have a 3 month old so I am at home right now, and probably for certain until the baby is a toddler, if not longer. I also have another son and step son in kindergarten part days!
I just applied for SSI for my son. He 6, is non-verbal, has pretty severe autism, and we meet the income requirements, and i was told he has a pretty good chance of getting SSI (I know other families in our area in similar situations who get SSI too). I did this in part because his condition and needs (therapy appointments etc) really do hinder me from getting a "normal" job. I know there is a chance he'll get turned down, but I am contemplating what direction to take if he does get approved. Or even if he doesn't, I still am considering the same things.
I guess I have this weird sense of guilt contemplating letting go of the thought of going back to work for some years. I know many moms choose to be SAHMs, as I am at the moment because I wanted to AND didn't really have a good option considering we have three in part-day kindergarten and a new baby! However, contemplating it long-term in regard to relying on state money and/or my partner's money is making me feel sheepish about it. I know that is probably dumb, that's why I wanted to ask about other's experience/ lifestyle.
It just seems a little absurd for us to stick our baby and other children in extra child care before and after school, try to find some possible care situation for my son with asd (which is virtually impossible), and find a job... which would probably compromise ssi qualification and cost us a lot extra for having 4 kids in child care/ after school/ specialty programs! Regardless of getting ssi or not, I don't think both of us working full time is logical or healthy for our family... but in seeing that, I also realize that reality isn't about to change very soon.
What do you do? How do you make it all work with a child on the spectrum?