My step-daughter's birthday is on Wednesday and she has said that all she wants is to get a second piercing (just above her first one, in her ear). I don't think this is appropriate. I do not want it for my daughter (who is 11 and already wants this too). i feel that they are perfect the way they are and if they want to do things like that it can happen when they're 18. it feels really not ok to me. but my husband thinks it's fine, "what's the big deal - it's not a lip or eyebrow"? i don't think it's fair to the girls to let one of them do it and not the other. my husband and i (who've been married for 4 years, together for 5), generally, each, have the last say on parenting when it comes to our own, bio-daughter, but in this case i think we must come to an agreement.
also - my ex-husband (who has say-so, obviously, in what happens with our daughter), probably won't be ok with it for her (though he has about 4 piercings in each of his ears, and several tattoos). And in our blended family - i feel - as strange as it may seem - we all need to get on the same page since it wouldn't be ok to let dsd do it and not dd.
i'm not an up tight parent at all - but i feel their bodies are beautiful and sacred and i feel it sends the wrong message - to begin altering them at this age. If that's a choice they want to make later - i truly feel it will be up to them and i'm sure i'll love and support them in their adult choices (with a twinge of maternal sadness). but if they started now, not only do i think it will send the wrong message - but the earlier they start, i think, the more will come.