Need better sleep

[allisonrose]

Ds2 is 20 months and wakes between 3-6 times a night. I am exhausted. I need to sleep better. Right now our set up is that I share a bed with ds2 and my hubby sleeps in ds1's room in a separate bed.

I am still nursing ds2. I wonder if weaning him will help him to sleep better. I tried nightweaning but it didn't help. Instead of waking less, he simply cried during the wakings that I withheld milk (between 11pm and 4am). So I can hope that complete weaning helps him sleep better - ds1 started sleeping through the night after being fully weaning but he was only waking 1 or 2 since I nightweaning. But I wonder if since nightweaning didn't help ds2 sleep better that total weaning also won't help. The risk of this plan is if I wean him and he still wakes frequently then I lost my main soothing method during night wakings.

My other thought is to continue nursing but to transition ds2 to his own sleeping area. Maybe even another room entirely. He often sleeps from 8:30-11 or even midnight while I am still awake. It tends to be the longest stretch of the night. He seems to be a lighter sleeper than ds1 and more easy to wake up. He is not as drawn to me in his sleep as ds1 was: he was a mommy-magnet while ds2 tends to roll away.

I am just too tired to keep this up much longer. I feel like i basically stopped sleeping 4 years ago when ds1 was born (he was a lousy sleeper and when he started sttn I was pregnant and couldn't sleep well).

Thoughts?

[lifeguard]

How long did you try the nightweaning for? Can you & dh switch so you can get a break?

Nightweaning helped ds sleep longer but not dd. With ds we found offering water helped significantly when he woke.

I would definitely look into trying to have him in his own space - even if just for the first half of the night. It's worth a try & might get you a longer stretch.

Hope you find something, we're in frequent waking land here right now & it is truly no fun.

[allisonrose]

I did one week gearing up, one strict week and then another week saying "it may be 11:30 but he hasn't nursed since 7:30 so it's ok this time" or "it may only be 3:30 but this way we get back to sleep quicker".

Hubby feels his sleep is too important when he has to work the next day since I just laze around the house with the kids. (At least that is what he implies.) If I tell him he is taking ds2 for a weekend night, he will. Then the next day he is grumpy and spends most of it laying on the couch dozing. The connection between how tired he is after a single night and how tired I am on a daily basis is never made.

Also when I count up night wakings there are times when he wakes, nurses, falls asleep, then wakes 5-20 minutes later and I only count that once. Sometimes that sequence repeats two or three times during one night waking. Last night he woke at 4 and was still not fast asleep at 5 am. Absolutely miserable. My hubby is out of town visiting his mother so I had no help and am resentful of that fact.