I was walking around the grocery store today alone! My DH had my kids in the toy section. I kept smelling this AWFUL smell. It was terrible. Smelled like poop! What was it? It must be the guy in front of me. Later I am walking out and smell it more... Oh my! He must have really stunk up this place, I thought.
Ummm....
Yeah....
It was me. My daughter leaked poo all over my sweater. 
LMAO!! That's great jodieanneanton. It's stories like yours that gives 1st time pregnant people (like me) a smile that is full of terror!
Second-time parents, too! My first was incredibly easy in so, so many ways. Tidy eater, tidy pooper, potty-learned with only one accident, talked early, walked early, never had a tantrum, weaned easily, ate well, never got sick, only barfed once before age 3... we are SO DOOMED with this one, I'm sure.
ETA: Just to be clear, I am 100% sure that I had nothing to do with any of these things, nor do I ever feel anything but sympathy for parents whose children are fussy-eaters, prone to tantrums, barfing, colds, or didn't walk until 18 months. These things are largely out of our control. Sometimes you win the genetic lottery... sometimes you don't. And you never know until you play ;-)
Second-time parents, too! My first was incredibly easy in so, so many ways. Tidy eater, tidy pooper, potty-learned with only one accident, talked early, walked early, never had a tantrum, weaned easily, ate well, never got sick, only barfed once before age 3... we are SO DOOMED with this one, I'm sure.
ETA: Just to be clear, I am 100% sure that I had nothing to do with any of these things, nor do I ever feel anything but sympathy for parents whose children are fussy-eaters, prone to tantrums, barfing, colds, or didn't walk until 18 months. These things are largely out of our control. Sometimes you win the genetic lottery... sometimes you don't. And you never know until you play ;-)
spughy, i do wonder about the karma balance thing (can't think of a better way to describe it) and whether we'll end up with a very different experience with baby #2. man, i love my kid but she's a tough one! i'd love to have an infant who's a great sleeper, who doesn't want to nurse around the clock, who turns into an easy going toddler who loves eating whatever mommy puts on the table. that could certainly be the opposite of my experience with DD! of course, i hate to even type this for fear of jinxing myself...
Sorry, but I HAD to laugh at this. Earlier this week we dealt with the absolute grossest tummy bug on family record. As I washed the zillionth load of laundry, I couldn't help but wonder how I'd possibly deal if I had TWO (or more!) kids barfing and whining nonstop for days in a row...
Jumping in!
Scruffytoo - My DP was a police officer then corrections officer for nearly 20 years. He worked in a level 5 (I think I got that right?) but is currently in medical retirement. An inmate nearly beat him to death. They have no idea how he survived except he has thick, THICK Scottish bones! I'm glad it was just your chest - he's actually told me about some of his female coworkers and how they HATED being on desk duty when they were pregnant. He despised it when he got it before they decided he needed to retire. I hope you can find something that makes work still fun for you!
I don't have time to respond to everyone right now but I read along. Sounds like everyone has been busy busy busy!!! I'm desperately looking for a job and have had a couple interviews but no call backs so far. DP's final divorce hearing is Monday and ex pulled one of her craziest stunts yet this weekend. We took all the kids to the pumpkin patch yesterday and had a blast. We've had our first official kick. Just one kick but we had it. I'm now anxiously awaiting the next ones!!! Our u/s is scheduled for November 2. DP has been hoping for a boy and so has DSS. DSD and DD both proclaimed baby was a girl and that's what I'm hoping, too. DP told me a few nights ago he's been dreaming about a little girl named Maggie calling him Daddy with his hair color but my eyes and curls and thinks it's a girl. I hope baby cooperates for the moment of truth on the 2nd!! It would seem I have antepartum depression and I'm not dealing very well with all the other stressors we've got in our life right now so finding out gender is giving me a bright spot to look forward towards.
Karma balance is a good way of putting it. I almost dreaded getting pregnant again. My daughter has been relatively easy and I have this feeling that #2 is going to be the exact opposite, and I am so not looking forward to it. I'm actually a little bit terrified of the transition to two, no matter how good or bad Bun turns out to be. ;)
My first was so easy (except when he didn't latch on until 6 weeks, but that is another story). He slept through the night at 2 months old. He didn't wake up to loud noises. We thought we knew what we were doing and a 2nd would be easy. WRONG! My second nursed right away and that was the only thing that was easy. She didn't sleep through the night until she was 4.5 years old. She would wake up at the slightest noise (cue neighbor with the 24/7 dog on a chain). Our second was a humbling experience for us. This time, we have no idea what we may have gotten ourselves into.
My first was so easy (except when he didn't latch on until 6 weeks, but that is another story). He slept through the night at 2 months old. He didn't wake up to loud noises. We thought we knew what we were doing and a 2nd would be easy. WRONG! My second nursed right away and that was the only thing that was easy. She didn't sleep through the night until she was 4.5 years old. She would wake up at the slightest noise (cue neighbor with the 24/7 dog on a chain). Our second was a humbling experience for us. This time, we have no idea what we may have gotten ourselves into.
This is EXACTLY what I am worried about. I too had breastfeeding issues with DD, except it was all on my part - her latch was great and except for being sleepy for the first few days, the only problem was that I'd lost too much blood during delivery to make quite enough milk for such a big baby. Supplementing was traumatic, but again, for me, not her. Once we got over that part she nursed beautifully.
So my fear is that this time, with my education since then, breastfeeding is unlikely to be a massive source of trauma (it could still be problematic, but it wouldn't whack me across the head like it did before, it would be simply a challenge. At least I know how to supplement correctly now if necessary and wouldn't freak out about it!) - but that everything else will go wrong. Colicky baby who cries all night (because we live in a townhouse with neighbours on both sides, who WOULD hear), fussy eater, tantrums, poo-splosions, tummy upsets, viruses every other week... oh and let's throw in FTT and jaundice and some sort of congenital heart defect too.
I may be too paranoid.
Linnaea, I am living in the North Shore of Mass, 30 min. north of Boston. Love it! I am surrounded on all sides by protected conservation land and marshes. Green and quiet and fresh. Anza is BIG, and is actually on the other side of San Jacinto Mt., East of Riverside-- a little past Palm Springs, you can take a right before the Salton Sea to get there. You can camp for free if you don't use one of the sites but camp in the wide open space of the park. That's what DH and I did. Coyotes howling and wind whipping through the valley floor---really special place. We found potsherds and ancient sea shells in the sand too! And we saw ancient Native petroglyphs-- that was really cool. Indian Canyon is an oasis near Palm Springs that has a flowing creek and lots of Palm Trees and humming birds. That was my first date with DH. I went to college and then lived in Redlands for years so I know the area pretty well.
Oh wow, that sounds so beautiful 
Both where you live and Anza. I'd love to camp in Indian Canyon some time, I bet my fiance would, too. Thank you for sharing about it!
Linnaea, yep, UCSC was great for me. And I think I was partly able to stay sane during grad school by being in such a beautiful place. It's hard to forget there's a broader world out there, when every time you go home you see big vistas of the coast and the bay. 
It was definitely a trip to be in such a beautiful, out-of-the-way kind of place. Santa Cruz is like it's own little bubble, it has its own vibe and culture, it's like you step back in time to the 50's or 60's when you're there and if you're there long enough you almost forget there's more to the world than just a hippy beach town 
I was walking around the grocery store today alone! My DH had my kids in the toy section. I kept smelling this AWFUL smell. It was terrible. Smelled like poop! What was it? It must be the guy in front of me. Later I am walking out and smell it more... Oh my! He must have really stunk up this place, I thought.
Ummm....
Yeah....
It was me. My daughter leaked poo all over my sweater.
OMG, this has me 
I know something like that has happened to me in the past, but I can't remember what it was that I kept smelling. It turned out to be something on my clothes, too. It's funny how easy it is to blame it on everyone else (the baby? the guy who passed by? the old lady who keeps glaring at me? ) and then you discover it was YOU all along. Holy cow, there's nothing more embarrassing and hilarious than that.
As far as the karma balancing discussion goes, I've had similar fears, too. I reflected on it, though, and I realized that the belief that if you have a lot of good happen to you then sooner or later here comes the bad is fear-based and not something to be overly concerned about. My philosophy is to take things as they come, don't worry about the what-ifs but be prepared in case of x, y or z.
The poo story reminds me of my poor husband. He walked around work one day trying to figure out where he had spilled "a little" milk. It was sour. Well, when he got home from work, I had to break it to him that baby had spit up what looked like an entire feeding down his back and he had "worn" it to work. Poor guy.
Oh my, so many good stories!! Sounds like the best thing is to try and keep a sense of humor about it all? jodieanneanton, I really laughed at your story. I'm sure it was horribly embarrassing at the time, but it does make for a good story.
granolamama, I'm glad your partner survived the beating! Yikes!! And I hope the last divorce hearing goes okay on Monday. I'm sure you will be SO happy when when all the legal stuff is wrapped up.
Linnaea, it's very true, and ALSO makes for eventually a good reason to move somewhere else again. 
I love Santa Cruz, but sometimes it's good to remember that the whole world isn't a hippy beach town!
As for me, yesterday I got to meet three other mamas who are using or just used the same midwives as we are, and it was SO much fun. One has a toddler, and is 34 weeks along with her second, one now has a six week old, and the other is about as far along as me (I think maybe 15 weeks to my 16). We had such a good time just chatting about pregnancy, babies, motherhood, life, our wonderful midwives, etc. I am thrilled to have a little mamas group now that's pretty local, and I think we'll be good support for each other as time goes by! Everybody had so much fun we're planning to do it again next week. Hooray for support groups! 
I was walking around the grocery store today alone! My DH had my kids in the toy section. I kept smelling this AWFUL smell. It was terrible. Smelled like poop! What was it? It must be the guy in front of me. Later I am walking out and smell it more... Oh my! He must have really stunk up this place, I thought.
Ummm....
Yeah....
It was me. My daughter leaked poo all over my sweater.
I had to laugh at this! My sister had a similar experience in that she was out shopping & smelling poo, only to discover a good smear on her shirt hiding under her boob. She was pretty mortified. I got luck with DS in that I never had any bad hidden poo moments, but I did have a couple incidents of where I started leaking in front of my students in class. It's a wonder that they had any respect for me.
AFM - Big week last week. I posted in the "Appointments" thread, so I won't go into everything other than to say we've jumped the "Team Green" ship. We had our anatomy scan on Thursday and found out that we're having a little GIRL! We're excited. I am a little nervous like the rest of you about karma balancing our with this one. DS is pretty laid back. We had our moments when he was an infant with bf'ing and sleeping - especially the sleeping, but now he's just a laid-back and happy little boy. I just know we'll get a diva with this one, and then I won't know what to do seeing that I am so not a girly-girl. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
I also got to attend my second birth as a doula this week. It was for a friend of mine, which was nice, by it was long. She was in labor for 30 hours, and I was with her for a total of 20 hours. I don't know if I can keep doing these marathon births while pregnant. I did have a moment when she started pushing where I got pretty nauseous and light headed. This was after I'd been with them for about 12 hours and had had about 2 hours of sleep. I'm thinking about putting my birth attendance on hold for now and then resuming at some point after baby is born. I love this work, but just don't know if it's the healthiest thing for me right now. If I could guarantee working only with women for about 8-12 hours, then maybe it would be better, but the long overnight stuff is killing me right now. And obviously you can't predict how long a labor is going to be. I'm on-call as a back up this week for a doula friend of mine who is going on vacation for a few days with her family. She'll only be a few hours away, but you know that something will come up. This mama is due on Monday and I'm just hoping that maybe she's a week late. I know, it's horrible to say that!! I just don't know if I can do another marathon birth this month, but maybe I'll get lucky and it will either be a short birth or I won't get called in. Wow, that is negative. I think I'm still recovering from the birth from yesterday and am sure I'll feel a little better after some more sleep.
OK, enough of my rambling. I'm looking forward to a great week and the cooler weather that we've been having. So nice!
chocolatechip - you have no idea how I'll be when all his legal stuff is done!! My divorce is amicable and simple - we're just waiting for baby to be born because of state laws that won't allow it while pregnant. In fact, if I can find a job exDH2 and I plan on splitting the cost for a legal separation (which can be done while pregnant) so we can literally call from the hospital and have the divorce finalized. I'm glad he survived too - we weren't together at the time so I would've never met him if he hadn't! But without it, there would never have been the final FINAL straw between him and ex so we wouldn't have gotten together. Funny how things happen, huh?
maydaymom10 - I have such respect for you doula momma! I hope to do it one day after all my babies are a little older. :) I can imagine how the marathon births would be extra tiring at this point though. (((hugs)))
maydaymom, I was very nervous about the potential to have a girly-girl as I, myself, am not, but I've discovered, having HAD the girly-girl after all, that it's not that big a deal. I'm really enjoying the frills and the dresses and the nail polish and the princesses and Ponies, because they're tempered with a love of scary things, and the outdoors, and "bad guys," bugs, snakes, frogs, fishing, etc... My daughter is awesome, in every respect, and she has taught me that being a girly-girl doesn't mean that her loves have to stop at pink and frills and girly things. :)
The chat thread for this week is up:
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1365678/weekly-chat-oct-14th-20th
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