Bi-Weekly Chat Thread (thru 10/28) - Page 8 « Back to Group Discussions

[sillymom44]

Hello!  I have had a rough couple of weeks.  Jack is 4 weeks old today!  Week 3= reinjured my back from an injury that occured 6 years ago with DS#2...  Luckily I had been through physical therapy, so I knew what I needed to do.  That lasted a week and when I started to feel a little better, I camer down with mastitis!!  I was able to avoid abx, but that night and the next day I had a fever that made me ache and feel so sick....  I don't know why I cam down with it b/c JAck nurses constantly and there is no chance I have ever been engorged or even had full breasts- I never felt a lump, but red streaks on the breast. 

To be honest, I have been pretty irriateted and grumpy and frustrated lately.  I know that part of it is d/t to the back and mastitis....  But it's also b/c I feel like I have gotten in over my head...and I don't knowwhat the future will hold.   DH kept saying...this baby is going to be "different" (aka "easy") compared to our other 2....and he's not easy.  I think he's normal, but I am starting to question my mothering instincts.  I am the type of mother that responds to crying quickly.  I let him fuss if I am trying to do something, but if he cries I pick him up.  I nurse him every 1-2 hours b/c he wants to nurse- rooting, sucking hands, etc...  I was pacifier -free, but I have recently started using one at times during the day.  The LC at the hospital told me I was nursing him too much and letting him use me as a pacifier...and my DH thinks I nurse him too much, althoug hhe trusts me ( he just doesn't want me to be miserable).  Even my mom and sister, who are veteran breastfeeding mothers, seem to have qustioned me....  I don't know...I just know that DS#2 was a horrible sleeper and I bc so "sick" with fatgiue that I was starting to think I either had cancer or fibromyalgia or some chronic disease.  I ached all the time and my head hurt constantly...I was depressed too.  He slept GREAT until he was 3 months and then he "woke up" and started waking every 1 1/2 to 2 hours all night long wanting to nurse.  In the end, 5 months later,I got desparate and weaned him from night nursing-- DH gave him formula (I used to be so ANTI-formula).  I know so many moms who do bottle feed and they have such different lives.  They are well-rested, their houses are clean, and they can acutally go places alone and relax.  It's hard to have those models...but to choose to do it the "hard way".   Anyway, my gut tells me that my baby is normal and I am a good mother....as long as I nap most days and do'nt try to do too much, I'm OK. But, our society and culture tells mothers that it could be so much easier... and it's hard to ignore that at 2 am....

The other issue-- Jack seems to be very gassy.  There are nights that he grunts for a long time-- and passes gas a lot.  It seems like he doesn't have a big poop until I change his diaper and when I pull his legs up he poops like crazy-- projectile poops.  I've eliminated dairy starting today, but I suspect it is gluten since DH cannot tolerate gluten.  I dread eliminating gluten...  :/

Sorry for all of the negativity... I just need some support and encouragement-- or ideas...

:)

[springmum]

Silly - you're not alone! That's what us mama's are for - a good shoulder or some hopefully helpful suggestions!!

DS nurses every 1-2 hours around the clock too. He's also very gassy which wakes him a lot at night - I think part of the reason I'm nursing him "too much" at night, is b/c he wakes himself up gassy and wants to nurse again. I"m so tired that I just nurse him (in bed) so I can go back to sleep quicker - we get desperate without sleep!

We are already cow dairy, gluten, sugar, soy and mostly corn free - I'm going to eliminate my own bowl of goat milk in a week or 2. Going gluten free is much easier these days. I think Dannic is gluten free too, and some others? We can give you tips to help you start if you like:)

Also, are you taking probiotics, some good vitamins at all? Mama's leaky gut can allow food proteins into the blood/breastmilk which passes on to baby causing tummy problems, so don't forget to support your digestion while you're at it (increase fibre, cut out sugar if you can, eat clean foods, take probiotics etc) 

I'm actually investigating a high palate, posterior tongue tie issue at a breastfeeding clinic this week. That combined with my overactive letdown may be causing the frequent nursing and gas for us (he doesn't latch very deeply, clicks a lot, swallows a lot of air, chokes if he does latch deeply, and fills up quickly on the fast flow but doesn't stay on the breast very long causing frequent short nursing) His poops are also very mucousy - likely from my letdown and gas issues, but if not, I'll be addressing diet after I look at the structure issues. We'll see someone for cranial work this week to address the high palate issues too.

Are you getting some support at home at all- maybe someone to watch the kids while you nap or just get some kid free time?  I totally hear you on the lack of sleep issues - it can totally mess with your head! i can't imagine how it is with 3 - hang in there and I hope things get a little easier for you soon!

[dannic]

Silly, going from 2 to 3 is def tough.  you are outnumbered as parents and you only have two hands, lol.  MY mom had 8 kiddos and she said that after 3 you can have as many as you want, because you are over the "hump" and also because at that point, some of the kids begin to be old enough to hlep out, lol.  This is my 5th, and it has def. been easier. 

I told myself that my normal tranisition period was 3 months, so I doubled that when I had 3 kids, to sort of give myself the breathing room in my brain of knowing that I would need a bit longer to get it all together.  Don't know if that makes sense, but it helped me, lol.

As springmum said, I am gluten free (and dairy free) so if you need help there, let us know! 

MY kids are waiting for a story, but I'll come back later.

[sillymom44]

Thank you two soo much...it's so nice to have moms who understand bc they are in a similar situation.  You have no idea how uplifting it is to hear that I am not the only one, My mom and sister both had girls...from what I have seen on this board and from mom's I know, girls nurse less and sleep more (although Im sure that's not always the case).  My next door neighbor has 4 boys and currently nurses her kindergartener at night, and she reassurred me that she nursed her boys every 1.5 hours all night.  So I am not the only one...

I am planning on going back to work when he is around 12 weeks old...so I feel like I have to establish some routine before then.  I will work 5.5 hours per day, so I have to be getting some sleep by then.  I don't HAVE to go back to work, but it would be a bad financial idea for me to stay home.  I work in the schools, so I have summers off and long holidays.  Anway, I think that is part of the desperation... I have to be getting some sleep eventually. 

DH has eaten "paleo" for several years....I have tried to switch bc it would be easier...but i just love gluten...  :/   I have made some awesome muffins and other foods with almond meal and coconut flour...but I hardly have time to shower, much less bake and cook. :(  DH is a great cook, but he already works a ton and commutes to work...so we don't have tons of time ...  DH eats meat, nuts, seeds, eggs, fruit, veggies, and some dairy (not really paleo).  it's expensive!!  But he cannot tolerate gluten...which makes me question if this baby is having issues...

I was ready in my LLL book that the pooping issues are normal.  Apparently wiping can encourage a bowel movement...I had no idea.  :)

I love hearing from you ladies-- keep the posts coming!!! 

[dannic]

Easy Gf foods--

rice and beans

tacos

paella

any meat/winter veg combo in the crockpot/or roasted in the oven...a bit of evoo, lemon and thyme make it amazing. We love sweet potatoes, potatoes, carrots and butternut squash and onions with orast or chicken.

After a baby, I really love my crockpot...I just have to remember to use it...I have recently made black beans, stew, and green chili in it. 

Have you considered whether you may be intolerant to gluten?  I just throw that out there because often the offending food is one you love or crave the most...and sometimes babies have trouble because mom has trouble, kwim?  An yes, it is a good possibility that it is gluten if your dh is intolerant. 

DH and I both have markers for gluten intolerance and passed 2 down to one dd, making it severe for her.  My other kids have the possibility of it as well, so I am gf esp when pregnant and nursing. 

It;s def tough at the beginnign but as springmum said, there are so many options now!  I cannot believe how much easier it is than when we began this journey even just 6 yrs ago. 

HUGS!  Do what you can and leave the rest; babies are only babies for so long.  I really try not to stress over the little things and enjoy the extra loving babies often need--it goes so quickly!  My oldest is going to be 10!  Ack! 

And yes!  Boys eat a ton, lol...and my boys have been mama's boys.  I think it's in the dna, lol.  Once I wean, they are immediately into daddy but until then they are mine.  Isaac is my best boy sleeper so far, but during the day he nurses every 1.5 hrs for sure.  My oldest was a slooow nurser; so he nursed for 45 minutes every 1.5 - 2 hrs.  Tough. 

Can you nap when your littles do? or put a movie on and rest on the couch? 

Oh, drink lots of water for supply and mast prevention...

We totally get it!  HAng in there!

[springmum]

Where is everyone!

I'm exhausted! Sick DS1 (very!) and DS2 had his posterior lip tie clipped :( Actually I cried more than he did! The aftercare is NOT fun though.... They wouldn't do the lip tie - didn't believe it was part of the issue -sigh....we'll see on that.

Nursing hasn't been a great improvement yet either and it so frustrating to see him constantly off and on, choking, clicking, gulping and now not nursing for more than 5 min's b/c he gets so much air in that he gets so gassy.  We're seeing the osteopath now (who said he actually in pretty good shape  and she won't need too many sessions with him) and the LC still - it's got to get better soon!

He now starts grunting and farting at about 6 am for 1.5 hours before he gets up for the day - like I can sleep through that in my armpit! With him nursing every 1-2 hours around the clock mama is tired!  Luckily he's still pretty mellow and easy going otherwise (except in the car....so we don't go out much!)

I'm guessing everyone else is either busy busy busy or tired tired tired :) Hope all is well!

[pregnova]

How about some baby cuteness?! I want to see some from the rest of you mamas!

Springmum- I bet you'll see BFing improvements soon! As for the grunting thing for hours before babe actually wakes in the morning, we've got that over here as well...ugg...I seem to doze in and out during it, but it's SUPER loud...no idea how my dh manages to sleep through it!

My babe is a MONTH today...wow!

[springmum]

Happy one month Atia! (did i spell that right?) Time is flying by! And that is some serious cuteness :)

[Vegan Princess]

I can't believe I had my 6 week visit last Friday!! Always so sad saying goodbye to a midwife after so long. Thankfully mine is a friend and I know I'll see her more. Happy 1 month Atia! Love the pics.

Springmum: Did they clip is with a scalpel or laser? DO the after care!! My first doc did not say I needed to so I mostly didn't and it actually did readhere some!! I hope it gets better. I've heard it can and often does take a couple weeks to really improve after. They need to relearn to suck. Oh and not all docs do the lip - are you sure your doc does?

AFM: Aria saw the dentist this morning. He lasered her lip tie. And he said she STILL had a posterior tongue tie - despite having had it done twice by another doc. Part had readhered from before (that part popped back open just when he was doing the numbing) but he also fixed some other parts further back. Poor baby. It was more traumatic for me today. They numbed her with the needle instead of topical bc he said the babies hate the topical so much. The laser took longer than the clip before - still not long. But it was stressful. She went to sleep right after. I did give hee tylenol right away. She is smiling again this afternoon though so I think not as much pain as when she was clipped with the scalpel! She has nursed 1x so far since and got 2x as much milk in less time (I still have my rented scale)!! So fingers crossed that things are FINALLY as they should be!!! And you can be sure I will be doing the after care exercises this time - this dentist was very adament about me doing them for 3 weeks, 3x/day.

My older daughter had SO much fun at the dentist office (they are pediatric) - playing in this playhouse/slide thing in the waiting room, watching a dvd on the ceiling from one of the exam chairs and getting a toy from one of those machines with the scoopy arm. She told me that after this morning, getting to go to preschool made today the greatest day ever. LOL. Not for the baby though.

I'm starting to have so muhc fun w/Aria. She really looks at things itnently and coos and smiles so much. :-) Getting to be more of a little person.

Cindy

[dannic]

here are a couple of pics from the photo shoot.  He was a week here, lol.  I need to take some recent ones.  He is doing really well.  I ate chocolate on monday and it hasn't bothered him, yay!

vegan, that is rough!  glad she is smiley today~or yesterday...

Preg, she is a doll...so sweet.  

BBL-TTFN, lol.

[sillymom44]

Jack was 1 month yesterday too!!  Atia and Jack are Saturday the 13th babies...  (Can you believe that in the throws of transition I was watching the clock hoping he was born on the 14th...he was born at 11:59, so I guess that he was meant to be a 13th baby)/

So glad to hear we're not the only ones with the grunting issue.--I completely understand- Jack starts grunting for an hour and a half in the early morning and he then starts fussing around 7am usually, and I know that is my cue to change his diaper so he can poop.  For some reason, he has several huge poops when I change his diaper in the morning.  Lifting his legs and wiping helps him poop apparently.  As far as for the grunting, I have found that repositioning him (side to back to laying on my belly, etc...) and shushing him (sh-sh-sh-sh) and patting him on the bottom helps decrease the grunting so he goes back to sleep.  SOOO happy to hear that this is normal and we don't have some sort of weird pooping problem.

WOW~ so sorry for the babies and momma having all the mouth issues requiring surgery! That sounds incredibly stressful  :(

I have several things I'll post in babywearing and BF'ing.

I am trying to priortize losing weight.  I still have 25 pounds to lose and I have to lose it before I go back to work b/c none of my work clothes will fit.  I walked for an hour and a half today...I hope walking helps b/c my weight loss has completely stalled at this point.

[springmum]

Silly - he definitely wanted to be a 13 th baby down to minute - so funny!

I'm glad to hear we're not the only grunters over here. So funny about laying him on my belly. We've both fallen asleep as I've been laying on back with him draped over my belly (with feet on the mattress, so we're perpendicular) It must help relieve the gas......as he listens to my tummy gurgle - ha ha!

Weight loss - ugh....I have 25 lbs to go too and although I'm not stressed about it I refuse to buy bigger clothes and can't live in yoga pants forever! My weight loss has completely stalled too, and I'm so hungry all the time. I really need to get exercising, but it's tough finding the time with DS1 being sick right now.

[pregnova]

How about hip sizes? Last time around, I gained 55lb, and it took 3 months to come off on its own. By the time I had lost the weight, I seem to have hips that were my previous size...this time, I gained less, have lost it all (miracle of nursing!) but my hips are the great barrier to some of my normal pants. It feels really noticeable to me...will they go back to previous size given time? Or is this a permanent thing if the rest of the weight is already gone?

[Vegan Princess]

nak

I think i habe 8 lbs left (also stalled - prob thanks to all the junk i'm eating). Almost none of my jeans fit - it hadn't occured to me that maybe my bones moved! Last preg my rib cage majorly expanded from like smaller than a 32 to needing expanders on a 34 - and it all went back to just as small after. So perhaps hips would too.

[sillymom44]

Spring-I have 25 lbs to go too....  yikes!  Funny enough...I am not very hungry.  I think it"s bc i am not as active as i should be- my older children are in school all day- so i can veg on the couch all day if i want to...and when i'm tired it's easy to.

Jack has started nursing a little less at night (do you hear the choir singing hallelujah?) and no grunting this am!  Not holding my breath though.   The LLL bfing book said babies usually have growth spurts at 3 wks, 6 wks, and 3 months.  Makes sense so far.

Have i mentioned how much Jack loves to take a bath!!  yay!!

what are everyone's Thanksgiving plans?  My cousin is hosting a huge dinner this year.  So excited, but intimidated by the hour long drive... 

I'm also looking for a fun and unique family photo ideas for Christmas cards- any ideas??

[Vegan Princess]

Ok, baby asleep in the ergo so I can type a bit more.

I was so frustrated yesterday. DH has had work events in the evning and come home at like midnight for 2 nights. He did come home quickly to wash dishes and help a bit in between. But last night I was looking forward to him being home and he stayed at the office until 9! With my pumping after feeds and caring for the 2 kids, i really look forward to his help in the evening! Getting DD1 ready for bed while the baby screamed and fussed was no fun - then she fussed while I pumped and while I got myself ready for bed. So I sent him a text before I went to bed with a list of chores - including making a 3oz bottle. So when baby woke at 1am I made him change her diaper and feed her while I pumped. Normally I am up for at least an hour between her taking so long to nurse and then having to pump after (and sometimes even wash the stupid pump parts). It was so nice to get to bed after 20 minutes! I wish we could do 1 feed like that every night but I don't want to do that to DH regularly - plus baby seemed to fuss through the bottle and I felt bad that she wasn't getting the boob. 

Hopefully DH will be home at a reasonable time tonight. He totally could have worked from home last night after coming home to help. Anyway, my hat is off to single mamas who have to deal with multiple kids on their own. Stressful. I totally got it done, but I so love having help. Oh but the good thing was, I finally braved a shower without DH around. Aria was happy in her bouncy seat with her sister playing with her. 

Thanksgiving. We are staying here. No close family in the area. DH has some cousins that always do a lovely family gathering and invite us - they are having it on sunday this yr. My friend invited us for the actual turkey day. She was in my birth class with my older daugher. Our daughters are 8 days apart and love playing together. She also has a 3.5 month old and used the same midwife as me for his birth. So it will be nice to go there - our older kids will occupy each other.

No thoughts on xmas cards. We never bother. but I got a catalog from shutterfly in the mail yesterday - perhaps look on their site for ideas? We are going to send out birth announcements though. My newborn photographer designed one for us and is printing it up - easy peasy.

Cindy

[sillymom44]

Forgot a question....are you guys giving the iron/vit d supplement??  if so- what brand?

[springmum]

Quickly popping in 

Iron - no, my ped didn't even mention it - isn't is more necessary after 6 months (I might be forgetting my info) Curious if others are doing this?

Vit D - need to start that, I like the AOR (they make a kids drop) It's in a carrier of sheepskin oil (obtained during sheering) My whole family takes it and the last time we were tested our levels were pretty decent, so it seems to absorb well. I'll pick some up the next time I'm grocery shopping. I don't like the idea of introducing anything to baby digestion already, but I believe in the benefits of Vit d...DS is almost 5 weeks.

[Vegan Princess]

I bought poly something or other. D drops. I used to give my older DD poly-vi-sol - it's the vitamin d version. Can't say as I;ve even opened the box though!

[Vegan Princess]

Oh and I forgot to ask my question earlier. Where are your kiddos napping? Aria mostly naps in a carrier, on me. If she is super conked from me wearing her, then I can put her down. But if she falls asleep in my arms or while nursing, she wakes as soon as I put her down. I am loving all the cuddling and snuggles, but I know that i ought to get her used to napping somewhere other than on me at some point. Not sure if I should be starting to put her down in the crib that is sidecarred to my bed or setting up the pack and play downstairs. The crib seems too far away for my liking right now.  (I type this as she naps in the car seat - she fell asleep in the moby while i was dropping DD1 off at preschool and stayed asleep while I put her back in, took her out for trader joes and put her back in)