Weekly Chat October 8-14 « Back to Group Discussions

[AnyaRose]

Hey! 

I think all of the active members have had there little ones now- am I wrong? 

My little one is doing great! I can hardly remember what life was like before all this baby stuff started coming around. And you know what's strange... haha. I notice things I do without thinking soooo much more, because I see them in Nico all the time. It's crazy how some genes are so strong. But he's really quite adorable. I think I could spend hours just watching him. I mean, sometimes I even let him cry a moment too long because I like watching him figure out how to get my attention. It's all just too cute. Aurg. (:

We went to the docs today and his umbi fell off right during the visit! He didn't sob once either... crazy. Afterwards I went grocery shopping and a million people stopped me to ask me what "neat contraption" I was holding my "adorable baby" in. .......a wrap? haha. I didn't know they were so uncommon in the states. Weird. Maybe it's just my town...?

How are you guys?

[katt]

everything is going fine over here.  i wear my moby out every time.  what better way to hide poat pg body then with a baby.  :)

we've got a diaper rash going on already.  argh!  i think its yeast, which is ever so much fun.  doesn;t seem to phase him.  that is good.

He's up about a lb from birth.  he seems so much bigger these days.  he makes such cute noises!!

dh is washing diapers for me, which is so nice.  BUT, our super old washer/dryer is dying a slow death.  we told the landlord and he said he'd send out a tech.  UMmmmm... let me save you that expense: buy a new (used) set, this one is done for.  seriously, they are SSSSOOOO old!

[mole]

Hi all, S gained 160 grams last week (the week he was 2 weeks-3 weeks old). This is on the low end of normal, according to the WHO chart he was in the 15 % category at birth and this week he's down to the the 5 % category. My sweetheart thinks this is fine, he and his father were both very slow weight gainers as babies and children (and both are very tall and skinny as adults). S poops around 15 times/day so he MUST be getting enough milk, right? His poops are yellow/brown, sometimes creamy but usually very liquidy. He has an occasional green poop, but those are just little tiny bits that look like they came out during a fart. His latch is excellent and he eats every 2-3 hours. Last night he slept for a four hour stretch, so we woke him up to eat. Most nights he wakes up every 2-3 hours, with one or two sessions of wanting to nurse continuously for 1 1/2 - 2 hours. I've started pumping twice a day (if I can find the time) to try and increase my supply, but VERY little comes out when I pump. The nurse who weighs him once/week and came to our apartment to see how he nurses thinks I am not making enough milk and I should supplement with formula. My sweetheart thinks this is stupid and that S is a happy, healthy baby who is just a slow weight gainer. I'm freaking out though- he only gets to grow up once and I don't want to hurt him. I'm feeling like I couldn't give birth to him properly and now I cant feed him properly. I just don't know what to do. I think I know rationally that if he is pooping that much he must be eating enough, but then I think that maybe he isnt digesting the milk properly and it is just running through him without helping him to gain weight? If that's the case, formula cant help, right? I just want to do what's best for him, and I think that nurse is wrong but she is an expert and I am not. He's really very happy- when he cries, he stops almost instantly when the breast is in his mouth except when he is bored from too much eating, and then he is very happy to go on a walk or to watch whatever his father is doing. It's possible that something I am eating is irritating him- he had diaper rash around his anus but we cleared that up with zinc cream. He does throw up a lot (two or three times after eating), but everything I've read says that the volume they throw up is very small compared to what they keep down. Please advise me.

[MotoMom]

Mole - I think you're doing great! I think sometimes medical professionals have a hard time understanding that 'Normal' has a lot of variations. Maybe his development at this age is something other than weight gain. Your milk might just be going straight to his brain or his heart and lungs instead of fat stores or whatever. If he's eating well and pooping up a storm, I just don't think there could be any problem! Is it actual throwing up or spitting up and how often? Hank had a few episodes of throwing up - as in multiple retches and a big volume of fluid - in the early weeks but it was only maybe 3 or 4 times and it straightened out. Now he just has the occasion small spit up that's not much more than a dribble.

[Jend1002]

Mole- my DS's poops sound just like S's and it seems normal to me. I think is S only wants to eat every 2 to 3 hours, it must be the right amt for him, otherwise he'd want to eat more frequently, right? To ease your mind, do you have access to a lactation consultant? I go to a breast feeding support group and the nurses weigh DS before feeding then immediately after to see the amt eaten. It's surprising how much he gets when it really doesn't feel like it. And you may just not respond to the pump. I know my milk production is definitely lower when pumping- mainly because it stresses me out to pump. Well all things breast feeding stress me out but pumping in particular is not good for me. Something to consider! If you are having supply issues you can always start with something simple like drinking a tea like mothers milk. I totally know how hard this can all be- I am there too- but I agree with Motomom- you are doing great!

Edited to add that as soon as I hit submit, DS stopped nursing and spit up all over me...so it's definitely not just you!

[Worldshakerz]

Mole, at our 2 week appointment I was told our LO was gaining on "the low side of normal". He was so sleepy the first two weeks and he fell asleep on the boob all the time. She had wanted me to pump after each feeding and then feed him what I pumped with a cup or dropper. There was no way I was going to do that. After all, he was above birth weight and on the low side of normal. I just got better at keeping him awake on the breast. Just go with your intuition, if this is normal in your husband's side of the family I'm sure everything is fine :) Getting the opinion of a lactation consultant is definitely great advice though. 

AFM and my LO, things are setting down after a few tough days. He definitely was going through a growth spurt so he was feeding nonstop it seemed for two days. Now he has a cold so he is still a bit cranky but he is nursing well and taking good solid naps again. I still have the cold and its tiring but its fairly mild. I have his 4 week appointment coming up on Friday - wow I can't believe he'll be 4 weeks in just 4 days. 

Our food choices were pretty unhealthy for the first few weeks postpartum. Just over the past few days we are back in the groove on meal planning and eating more healthfully. My DH actually got a book on paleo eating which is awesome, because I have found it very hard to stay on track when he isn't on board. But out of the blue he bought this book and the whole family is doing paleo together now :). It's making it sooo much easier. My mood is exponentially better when I'm eating well :)

[WindyCityMom]

Mole- I think you're doing just fine... if you're concerned, look into a foremilk-hindmilk imbalance.  Are poops seedy?  I think the seeds indicate fat deposits in the poop.

AFM- Nova is 3 weeks old today!  She weighed 10lbs yesterday- up a little over 2.5lbs from birth.  And she just started a growth spurt- I think.  She has been sooo sleepy.  Her awake period times have gotten shorter and changed in response to her sleeping so much!  I got two four hour stretches of sleep out of her last night, and would have gotten a third had I gone to bed sooner!  It's not all peachy keen though- all of this extra sleeping means less frequent nursing and less frequent nursing (even if only by an extra hour between feedings) leads to me literally exploding with milk.  Nova and I both woke up soaking wet this morning.  

Speaking of exploding... baby doesn't have reflux.. she just over eats!  She doesn't seem uncomfortable at all- it's not projectile or anything, but she always seems to have a trickle of freshly puked up milk coming out of the corner of her mouth.  Makes for a lot of laundry!

I have a busy day ahead of me.. We're going to the post office, going bird watching, going to gymnastics (at least our gymnastics is near a fabulous nature center!) and doing homeschooling stuff. 

Oh- speaking of busy   I'm going back to work on November 2nd.  I'm pretty excited about it- I'll only be going back part time, not sure whether or not they'll be shorter shifts 5 days/wk or longer shifts 3 days/wk... but I can't wait.  

Nova takes bottles extremely well- if I know I'm in a situation where nursing would be especially tricky (say, a crowded public bus where I have to hang onto my two other children) a bottle of expressed breastmilk is easier (we've also introduced a pacifier for those situations.. screaming baby + public transportation = nightmare!) and she has to get the hang of it anyways!  She takes the Medela bottles just fine, but they made her lazy about opening her mouth all the way when actually nursing.  I bought a "mOmma" bottle made by Lansinoh- it is fabulous!  No ounce markers so not ideal for formula, but for our purposes it is really great :)

[Ava's Mama]

Hi, We are doing pretty well.  DS is over his cold and sleeping a little better.  He is super mellow about everything.  I am doing ok emotionally.  I have lots of support from the women in my life but DH really sucks during the newborn stage, so I guess I just have to get used to it for the next 8 months! 

Spit up - My DD spit up tons!  like up to 50 times a day.  I was soooo worried and it went away around 6 months when she started sitting up.  It looks like DS is the same way, but it doesn't seem as bad.  But sometimes it does seem like throwing up in the quantity, but I think it is fine.  He poops a ton, so I know that he is getting plenty going into his system.  I think the biggest issue is the massive quantities of laundry that it causes!

[MamanFrancaise]

Dexter will be a month old tomorrow! I can't believe it! We saw the midwife today and he now weighs 12 lbs 8.5 oz. Up 1 lb 6.5 oz since 2 weeks ago! Gooo mama milk! I would consider him "sleeping through the night" as he sleeps at least 4-6 hours every night, eats, then goes back to sleep for a few more hours. I am so grateful for such a mellow, laid back baby. I am not taking a single moment for granted. I just adore him so much.

So after speaking with my midwife this morning, I think maybe I'm more normal than I thought and not going through major PPD. I have such anxiety over people being around my baby, including my husband. But really, it is perfectly normal for my instincts to want only me around my baby right now. Apparently it is referred to as the 4th trimester (birth to 3 months). It's our culture that makes me feel like I should be showing him off and handing him off to people to hold - that I should just resume my social life and leave the baby with a bottle.

I just want people to stay away right now. My baby needs me and no you can't undress him to look at his toes. No, DH you cannot take 15 minutes to change his diaper, or try to change his clothes and make him cry. No. No. No. Ugh. Anthropologically, I am doing what human mothers were designed to do. I AM NORMAL. (ok perhaps on the anxious end of normal) Times like this, I wish I lived in China where I'd have 6 weeks of pure mama/baby bliss.

[Carlin]

Mole, I'm sorry the nurse is worrying you. I have to say though, if her one suggestion to increase weight gain is to supplement with formula she's definitely not an expert! If you are worried I'd highly recommend talking to a lactation consultant. Checkng out a LLL meeting might give you some extra confidence or suggestions for increasing supply too. It sounds to me from what you are describing that everything is OK though. People forget that it's no more unusual to be on the low end of normal than on the high end! AFM, Ember is doing great. We had our 2 week check up today and she weighs 8 lbs 5 oz, up from 7 lbs 10 oz last week. I'm recovering well, and starting to feel like postpartum hormones are leveling off. DD1 is adjusting well, although I think she's getting bored without her regular activities. DH has been working an insane schedule since last Thursday. I think the earliest he's been home was 9 pm. I can't wait until next Friday when he's home and will be able to take some time off. That's about all I can type one handed. Hope everyone's having a great week! edited: I have no idea what's wrong with my computer. None of my formatting, including paragraph breaks, exists once I hit submit.

[MotoMom]

Today has been a rough day. Hank had me up all night and today he's been fussing non-stop for five hours. I'm just dying to get things done around the house and it's making me completely crazy. I can't put him down for five minutes to put a load in the wash or even feed myself. I've tried all of the carriers I own and nothing helps but holding him against my shoulder cheek to cheek with him and walking up and down the hallway petting his head. Crying. Not him. Me. I find myself feeling angry at him for being fussy and then I feel like a bad mom and so I just cry about it. I walk up and down the hallway feeling like a prisoner and crying. He'll eventually doze off and I can put him in his little rocking bassinet and rock him with my foot, but five minutes later, he wakes up and starts fussing again. I never even had the chance to eat breakfast or lunch! I can't just set him down and let him cry while I make some food because it makes me so stressed out and I know how it feels to just need to be held. I just don't know what to do! I don't know what's wrong and so I don't know how to fix it. 

[Carlin]

Sorry you're having a rough day MotoMom. I hope you've at least managed to get some food into yourself now. ((hugs))

[MIrandaM]

Motomom, I just realized that our boys were born on the same day! what you're describing was us two days ago and every night from 6-9pm. I could have written your post - especially about just wanting to eat and throw in some laundry, then getting frustrated and feeling bad. I eventually let him cry for the two minutes it takes me to throw together a bowl of cereal and dash back to eat it while he nurses. The two that really throw me off the deep end are wanting to brush my teeth and refill my water in the morning - I just feel like those should be my right!! I always find myself saying more for myself than the baby 'mama needs water/food to make milk for you'. It's funny how those frustrated moments are balanced with moments of total joy when things are calm, you've eaten, baby is sleeping sweetly on your lap and you feel like a great mom. It'll be nice when they are big enough to sit on your hip and be held with one hand when you want to do things like eat or put in laundry- but then we'll miss the sweet and tiny newborn days What I'm trying to say in all of this is that I'm thinking of you, you're not alone in the needy baby times, and I hope you get something to eat!!

Carlin, i think it was you that i read really likes and gets a lot of use from woven wraps? Could I ask for some help? I just got one, not the stretchy type- it's by Amazonas and is about five meters long,almost as wide as the length of my legs. It came with instructions for three carries, only one can be used w a newborn - baby in front, legs frogged but hanging outside the wrap, the ends go under the legs before tying in the back. Do you know of any more newborn carries? Maybe one that's poppable as they say? Just learned that term Or of a good website showing more carries for woven wraps? I keep finding carries the the more narrow stretchy wraps and they aren't working. Thanks for any advice you can give.

Cosleeping mamas, what is your blanket set-up for you and the baby? I'm struggling to keep LO safe and us warm!

[WindyCityMom]

Originally Posted by MIrandaM 

Cosleeping mamas, what is your blanket set-up for you and the baby? I'm struggling to keep LO safe and us warm!

We co-sleep via a sidecarred crib.  Baby gets put in a fleece Halo sleepsack (Got a few for $0.90 at the thrift store... I swore I'd put no polyester on her, but it's cold here and I don't have the time to sew up a wool one!).  She usually just wears a sleeper underneath.  A long sleeved onesie if I need to do laundry ;).  Then I tuck a receiving blanket around her under her armpits so she feels snug. 

For me, I use my usual blanket (a woven cotton one, pretty breathable) but I take care to wrap myself in it so that it's not everywhere.  I sleep in sweatpants and a cotton knit wraparound shirt/sweater thing- no shirt, because I'm yeast-prone and giving my breasts time to air out every day is beneficial.

[MotoMom]

Thanks for the words of support! By the time DH got home from work, I was able to get Hank to sleep. I hopped on my motorcycle and rode out to meet some friends for dinner and had a beer for the first time in a while. It was delicious! And the ride really cleared my head. Plus Hank slept peacefully the entire time I was gone so I wasn't stressing out about him at all (that is, after the phone calls home of course). My MIL came up and while I was out, DH and her prepared some quick things for me to snack on during the day and finished the laundry I had been meaning to do.

All is better. There was an hour or so first thing this morning that I had forgotten about. It was an hour or so where I could have gotten all of these things done that I needed to get done. But instead, I sat Hank in front of me on my legs and sang songs and we "played" and he just gazed at me in wonder and it was one of those sweet moments that made me feel like a good mom. 

[katt]

have you tried going on youtube and looking up newborn wrap carries or newborn wrap moby...  there is one that i really love.  i'll try and find it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYdI7HH9PW0

here it is

[WindyCityMom]

Originally Posted by katt 

have you tried going on youtube and looking up newborn wrap carries or newborn wrap moby...  there is one that i really love.  i'll try and find it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYdI7HH9PW0

here it is

I wrap like that as well, only I fold it in half lengthwise first to create a little pocket to cocoon baby in.  And she'll only tolerate being chest-to-chest with me.. go figure! I wish we could do a cradle hold!

Anyways- that's my favorite way of wrapping for a newborn.  Once she's older I'll likely just carry her in a woven wrap in a rucksack carry, or I'll use my Boba.  Probably the Boba, lol.

[katt]

i keep mine folded in half length wise as well.  mostly to keep things more manageable.  i just slide him in anyway i can.  i make sure he's high and tight.  

he's usually chest to chest, legs froggied.  or butt first in the cradle position.  

[AnyaRose]

Originally Posted by MIrandaM 

Cosleeping mamas, what is your blanket set-up for you and the baby? I'm struggling to keep LO safe and us warm!

I don't have a side car, but Nico sleeps right beside me on my bed. The covers are folded down like a triangle (think fancy hotel haha!) and a burp cloth is where the pillows would be on the unfolded sheet side. I wrap him up in long sleeves and a super warm sleeper and if it's super cold, tuck a blanket under his armpits. I hop in on the other side in sweat pants, sports bra (ohhhh if I could go with no bra... my chest is faaaar too leaky though) and an open no zipper jumper. The covers come across me kind of diagonally, but it definitely keeps me warm enough. 

As for that leaky chest.... Does that ever stop?! It's ridiculous. I soak through a pad every night! Also about breasts/milk.... I have a medela pump, but I can never get anything using it... Which is super crazy because I drip just standing in a grocery line. Any ideas on what could be the problem?

On a completely unrelated note...Nico is the loudest pooper I have ever heard. 

[Carlin]

Miranda, my favourite source for wrapping instructions is The Baby Wearer forums. They have a whole bunch of instruction links in the "Choosing and Using a Wrap section. I think you have to login to access them, but it's definitely worth it. http://www.thebabywearer.com/forum/showthread.php?162105-Wrapping-Instruction-Links

My favourite newborn carry is FWCC (Front Wrap Cross Carry) but a Front Cross Carry or Pocket Carry (which is the same as you do with a stretchy are very doable with a woven if you want something more poppable.) Kangaroo carry and Rebozos are also good with newborns. Right now, I'm loving FWCC anytime I want to have Ember up for awhile but for quick up and downs around the house I mostly use a ringsling.

Cosleeping, We don't follow the rules. I have my pillows and a light duvet on the bed like normal, but I angle the duvet down so it's not near Ember's face. In 2.5 years of co-sleeping with DD1, I never once ended up with blankets over her face so I'm not too worried.

Motomom, glad you got some time away and that Hank is feeling better!

AnyaRose, I hate sleeping in a bra too, but it's better than waking up in a puddle I guess! As far as pumping goes, it might help to pump with Nico on your lap. Really look at him and focus on him. You can even try pumping on one side while he nurses on the other. The other thing that can make a big difference is to make sure the flanges on your pump are big enough. The ones they come with are too small for a lot of people.

AFM, It's snowing! I really hope this isn't the end of fall yet. I'm not ready for it to be winter yet.

I have a family baby shower this evening. It will be nice to see people, but I hope it doesn't go to late. Ember's been a bit fussy in the evenings over the last few nights and while I'm comfortable nursing in front of a crowd, I'm less happy doing the nurse/fuss/nurse repeat every 2 min with an audience.

Other than that, I'm just counting down until DH is done with this project at work. Tomorrow's the last day of 14 + hour days!