Weekly Chat October 8-14 - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[teegan db]

Thomas sleeps between DH and me in the bed. We make sort of a V with the covers so that they just barely cover his bottom half, then we put him in a warm sleep sack and hat. He's got a wool pad underneath him in case of accidents (of which there haven't been any - yet). I sleep in a loose long sleeved shirt that I can pull up for feedings, and our bedroom is the only room we've started heating. 

AnyaRose, I've got to say that Thomas might give Nico a run for his money on the loud pooping. He always does it in the middle of breastfeeding, but he'll stop drinking and look up with this face that says, "I wonder where that noise is coming from. Certainly wasn't me. No ma'am."

[Lazurite]

Originally Posted by MamanFrancaise 

So after speaking with my midwife this morning, I think maybe I'm more normal than I thought and not going through major PPD. I have such anxiety over people being around my baby, including my husband. But really, it is perfectly normal for my instincts to want only me around my baby right now. Apparently it is referred to as the 4th trimester (birth to 3 months). It's our culture that makes me feel like I should be showing him off and handing him off to people to hold - that I should just resume my social life and leave the baby with a bottle.

I just want people to stay away right now. My baby needs me and no you can't undress him to look at his toes. No, DH you cannot take 15 minutes to change his diaper, or try to change his clothes and make him cry. No. No. No. Ugh. Anthropologically, I am doing what human mothers were designed to do. I AM NORMAL. (ok perhaps on the anxious end of normal) Times like this, I wish I lived in China where I'd have 6 weeks of pure mama/baby bliss.

I have this anxiety too. When family visits from out of town I will have to hand my baby over constantly for days. I'm dreading it. It's nice to know I'm not the only one. There is a lot of pressure to be cool with handing the baby over for other people to hold. Our very first weekend after he was born I got emails from people I've only seen a couple times in years asking if they could come visit. Um...no. 

[crystal_buffaloe]

Mole From what you've said, it doesn't sound like formula supplementation is necessary right now. 5th percentile means 5 percent of HEALTHY babies fall at or below that weight. and your little one is certainly having plenty of poops! That's great! I had oversupply with DD and still didn't respond very well to the pump until I rented a hospital-grade one (is that an option for you?). Pumping output is not a good indicator of supply! Some more tips for pumping: cover the bottles (like wear a big sweatshirt) and don't look at/stress about how much is coming out (it helped me a lot to just quit looking at my output and staring at the clock). Smell something that smells like the baby. Nurse on one side and pump simultaneously on the other (this takes some patience/creativity - I found football hole to be best ). Do breast compressions while pumping (you can do these while nursing, too -- youtube it -- breast compressions also help baby to get more fatty hindmilk). Pump after taking a warm shower. One of my friends swears by lactation cookies, so I've been munching on them this time around -- I added a heaping 1/2 cup of flax seed and 3 heaping tablespoons of brewer's yeast to my regular oatmeal cookie recipe

I have a question: When should I introduce a bottle? (i.e., how long can I wait to introduce a bottle and still make it relatively easy for James to accept it?) And how often does he need to get one to stay used to it? Is two or three times a week okay? I seem to remember advice to start giving it at one month, but that seems really early to me -- and I'd really rather save what I've pumped so far for when I really need it, you know? I'm going back to work (on quarter time -- I'll just be teaching one night class -- I'll be gone from about 4pm to about 9pm two nights a week starting in January) and I would like to be able to leave the babe occasionally.

[WindyCityMom]

Pumping: Even at my times of peak oversupply I've never responded well to a manual pump.  The hospital grade one was awesome, though I was without a baby at the time so perhaps that's why my output was so great.
 

Quote:

Originally Posted by crystal_buffaloe 

I have a question: When should I introduce a bottle? (i.e., how long can I wait to introduce a bottle and still make it relatively easy for James to accept it?) And how often does he need to get one to stay used to it? Is two or three times a week okay? I seem to remember advice to start giving it at one month, but that seems really early to me -- and I'd really rather save what I've pumped so far for when I really need it, you know? I'm going back to work (on quarter time -- I'll just be teaching one night class -- I'll be gone from about 4pm to about 9pm two nights a week starting in January) and I would like to be able to leave the babe occasionally.

Because I was separated from Nova for medical reasons on her third day of life, she already takes a bottle.  At that time the only one we had was the Medela bottle from my breastpump (not an ideal nipple to avoid nipple confusion!).  She did fine- she used it for two days.  When nursing was re-initiated, she did fine, though for the first few feedings she was lazy and didn't want to open her mouth wide enough for a good latch.  IMO this could have been avoided by "teasing" her with the bottle nipple before feeding so that she'd open her mouth wide and root, but given the circumstances I wasn't really thinking about that!

I think 2-3x/wk is fine *if* he is doing well with it.  If not, he may need more practice.  You could always pump during the feeding (have someone else give the bottle to him) to not only keep your supply up but maintain a freezer stash.  

Nova has had a bottle twice since I've been out of the hospital (a little over 2 weeks now).  Both were for convenience- I just needed a break away from the house and the kids and the chaos so baby stayed with DH while I went to the thrift store for three hours!  We have switched to the Lansinoh mOmma bottles and she takes them fine.

In contrast, DD2 *never* took a bottle.  I really didn't need her two, I was a SAHM, but I did try giving her a Medela bottle a few times out of desperation.  She flat out refused.  

[WindyCityMom]

And now I have a question! :) How does one go about introducing pumping 1x/day?  I'd like to not only get used to it (going back to work in 3 short weeks!) but I'd like to start adding to my freezer stash as well as I only have a few more bags of milk left.

[hyde]

Co-sleeping- My husband uses the comforter, I take the normal sheet.  I'll pull the sheet up to waist-level, and I use one pillow but sleep on the corner of it with the rest behind me. (Still in the 80s high/60s low here, but I guess I need a plan for winter.. I've read that some cosleeping mothers cut the front off a thermal top, which seems like a potentially good option- I don't want to have to pull a shirt up or deal with buttons if I don't have to.) As for leaking, last night I had the bright idea to try sleeping topless for the first time. I've been in a nursing tank and using pads since R. was born, so somehow I thought I wasn't leaking that much... yeah. Oops. Convenient in some ways, but caused as much trouble as it saved, what with the constant mopping up.

Sleeping topless also seemed to increase baby's attempts to sleep-nurse from my arm/side/etc.. bedsharing really kicks her reflexes into high gear. I've learned to go with it as much as possible, but it can be perplexing because sometimes it's not even intentional on her part. The other night at bedtime she got herself into this crazy rooting/kicking loop that she couldn't seem to get herself out of, even while nursing, and last night I woke myself up to give her the breast a couple times last night (endlessly jealous of those who can do this in their sleep) only to realize that she was still knocked out. Newborns are weird, man.

Away-from-baby anxiety- This hasn't come up for me a ton, but my MIL gets here a week from today and I'm not looking forward to the idea that I hand the baby over a lot.. I hope she's able to manage her expectations. I'm going to try to plan for two regular 'take her for a bit while I shower/nap/work' periods a day, but will not be messing with our general setup (especially in the evenings), period. (By the way, MamanF, so glad to hear that you are doing well with all of this!)

AFM- Baby's been sleeping most of the day, which makes me worried about tonight.. we had one of these days earlier in the week that resulted in a crap night. Yesterday she fought going down all day, just catnapped long enough for me to not be able to rest myself, and slept like a champ last night.

[Monkey Keeper]

Originally Posted by WindyCityMom 

And now I have a question! :) How does one go about introducing pumping 1x/day?  I'd like to not only get used to it (going back to work in 3 short weeks!) but I'd like to start adding to my freezer stash as well as I only have a few more bags of milk left.

First thing in the morning, feed her on one side and pump on the other. Not the in-bed feedings but the first up and awake one of the day. I also nurse on one side exclusively overnight and then pump that side in the morning.

[katt]

oy vey!  my MIL does this.  She doesn't even ASK, she walks in, coat and hat still on and TAKES the baby from my arms.  WTF?!?  baby didn't cry or i would have had him back in a heartbeat!

She's good about giving him back to nurse, but then she's RIGHT there to take him again.

We don't see her much and when we do I'm going to be a bit more mama bear.  I'll give him to you to hold for a while.  But, I may just move my hands around yours and prevent you from taking my child from me.  Not cool MIL. not cool.

DH, well, he's gotten to hold this one a lot more in the early stages then my first.  but, he's also really good about reading the baby and knowing when he needs to come back to mama.  :)

[AnyaRose]

Originally Posted by Carlin 

As far as pumping goes, it might help to pump with Nico on your lap. Really look at him and focus on him. 

Well... I did this. And it worked. I was so pleased and comfortable with the idea of pumping. I got 4oz! I wanted to try it out on him to see if he would take the bottle... 

It was horrible. I completely broke down when he took it and started eating. It was like he didn't need me anymore and I couldn't even share with him the happiness he gets from getting my milk. Suddenly, I was only the diaper changer (not happy times) and gas/burp reliever (again, not happy times). It made me so so sad. I was shocked to feel this way... I have had NO signs of any baby blues or PPD or anything until that moment... but it really freaked me out. I felt so betrayed by myself! Why was I introducing this unnatural form of connection (or lack there of) to my little baby boy?!?! 

Augh... I don't know. I think I'm silly for feeling this way, but I can't help it. It's not natural for a mommy to feel unneeded... I mean, we were meant for this, right?

I don't know why this dumb bottle made me feel so emotional. ERG. 

[katt]

now that you know he'll take it IF there is an emergency, you can hide the bottle and just nurse to your hearts content.

[MamanFrancaise]

Originally Posted by AnyaRose 

Well... I did this. And it worked. I was so pleased and comfortable with the idea of pumping. I got 4oz! I wanted to try it out on him to see if he would take the bottle... 

It was horrible. I completely broke down when he took it and started eating. It was like he didn't need me anymore and I couldn't even share with him the happiness he gets from getting my milk. Suddenly, I was only the diaper changer (not happy times) and gas/burp reliever (again, not happy times). It made me so so sad. I was shocked to feel this way... I have had NO signs of any baby blues or PPD or anything until that moment... but it really freaked me out. I felt so betrayed by myself! Why was I introducing this unnatural form of connection (or lack there of) to my little baby boy?!?! 

Augh... I don't know. I think I'm silly for feeling this way, but I can't help it. It's not natural for a mommy to feel unneeded... I mean, we were meant for this, right?

I don't know why this dumb bottle made me feel so emotional. ERG. 

I feel EXACTLY the same! I want to try the bottle but what if he *gasp* actually takes it just fine? 

I know that I may want to go out at some point and will be annoyed with myself that I didn't introduce the bottle but I totally feel like then he doesn't need me at all and it breaks my heart.

[teegan db]

oh, my. we're growth spurting around here (thomas was two weeks on tuesday), which means watching that little face scrunch up and grunt through his digestion All Day Long. and all night. he eats, then fusses, then sleeps, then fusses. repeat ad infinitum. my midwife says every symptom is classic growth spurt, and he doesn't seem to be sick or in pain or anything, but it's hard to watch him work to grow (and hard to be awake with him from 4:30 am until nearly 7 when he finally goes down for a decent nap). 

dh's brother is getting married tomorrow, so his family is coming into town today and there are all of the events - rehearsal & dinner, ceremony, reception, brunch the following day, etc. until this spurt started tuesday, i thought we'd have no problem spending lots of time with everyone and introducing thomas, but right now i'm sort of dreading how it may go...

to top it off, we're getting low on our stash of disposables. i initially said i'd start cloth diapering a week after he was born, but our prefolds were a bit too big and so i'd been putting it off, but i think today is the today to start my cloth diaper adventure. 

[MotoMom]

Yay!! Sleeping baby from 9 until midnight then up at 3 and five to eat and then slept until 7:30! Then I got a great big smile while singing good morning to him! If we did this every night I'd be totally happy. 

[Jend1002]

Teegan - I think today is the first day in a while that isn't like you describe- it is exhausting!

Motomom- yay for your night! James slept for 3 hours for the first time ever last night and what a difference that makes in my life!! He slept from 9:30 to 12:30! The rest of the night wasn't so great but still thrilled!!

[MotoMom]

Ahhh, motherhood: when showers and three hours of sleep in a row are the luxuries we look forward to!

[MIrandaM]

In-law vent, again! There have been a couple mosquitoes around because they leave every window wide open all the time - but really not many . . . and today I went outside with the baby because we were all about to walk to dinner and I was ready first and that way the baby and I could look at the trees etc instead of him crying inside. When my FIL came down he said that it had taken  a minute because they wanted to spray insecticide while we weren't in the house because it's effing POISONOUS! to animals and people.  I am outraged that they would spray chemicals in my house, literally in my newborn baby's room (they're staying in the nursery/guestroom) without asking me - and probably knowing that I would say no way.  There are so many natural ways to keep mosquitoes away, and it's not very many mosquitoes, and we don't live in a malaria zone at all.  They're in their mid-70's so I don't want to totally freak on them but I am in tears over this I'm so enraged.  Not to mention that now I don't even want my baby in that room at all.  I guess the best thing would be for DH to speak to them.  To be clear, it's so obvious that we are 'naturally-minded' people, we eat organic food, use all natural body and cleaning products, all natural cleaning supplies etc and they have seen all this, I just can't believe it and I'm so hurt and furious.  Is this just my post-partum hormones??

Love reading everyone's updates <3 <3 <3

And thank you very much for the info on safe cosleeping and the newborn carries!! I'm going through and trying out the various carries and will think of this lovely ddc as I wear him around
Edited by MIrandaM - 10/11/12 at 12:01pm

[MadiMamacita]

re:bedtime
are we the only ones swaddling for sleep? I kept him unswaddled one night just in pjs and sleep quality was so poor i swear i wont do that again! anyone struggling with getting some solid sleep should give it a try. we use either the velcro kiddopotumus swaddlers or the miracle blanket. i find they stay wrapped better than a regular blanket.
here is a good video about why you should only loosly swaddle the legs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLqfRQdUP7k

[MadiMamacita]

has anyone heard of the wonder weeks? basically some swedish (?) mds complied research to show that babies universally go through fussy periods at the same developmental times, and the linked these fussy periods to developmental milestones or "leaps". in the last day or so I noticed Jude has been more fussy than normal, and sure enough, he corresponds almost to the day with a leap on the wonder weeks chart! for some reason it is comforting to know that the fussiness is for a reason. you have to use the due date, not the birthdate. so Jude is 8 weeks old but was born at 37 wks so by this chart he is developmentally just 5 weeks.

here is the chart:
http://www.thewonderweeks.com/index.php/about-the-wonder-weeks/what-are-leaps

[judybean]

I've tried posting so many times, but then get distracted or my phone eats my post before it's done and I'm too frustrated to type it all out again on my phone!

Swaddling-- I've never swaddled my babies. So I have nothing to add on that

Cosleeping-- I didn't realize there were so many rules I guess. Dh and I have always had separate blankets though (either I'm pregnant and super hot or not pregnant and freeeeeezing! And dh likes to kind of cocoon himself anyway), so it's just me and baby sharing blankets. Baby sleeps on whatever side he's finishing up nursing on... sometimes it's between dh and I, sometimes it's on the other side. This is how we've always done it.

Bottles-- I haven't introduced one. I have no need to. Dd3 and dd4 never had one. I would probably feel jealous and useless if I did. Even though there are times itis hard sometimes, it's *my* job. I like it.

Re poisoning without permission-- I'd be upset too, Miranda

Things here with Leo are good. Three days ago I had the worst emotional day ever and cried/bawled/lost it many times that day, apologized to Leo for being a terrible mother, and was generally overwhelmed by the housework and everything. Things are better now though. I love going on walks with my girls and having leo in my homemade wrap (like a Moby.. made out of hemp jersey). But now it's time for dinner ...

[judybean]

I've heard of wonder weeks before. If your baby was born after a due date, do you still calculate from the EDD? Leo is three weeks old tomorrow, but born at nearly 42 weeks... is he 3 weeks or 5 weeks according to that?