Weekly Chat October 8-14 - Page 3 « Back to Group Discussions

[hyde]

Judy, the website has an e-mail notification program and IIRC when you sign up they ask for the EDD, so I guess that's what they go by?

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My brother has arrived for his visit. I think having him here has at least helped us be more active during the day today, which might help us come tonight? On the not-so-great side, he just called his girlfriend to video chat and showed her the baby, who is peacefully napping in the swing. Girlfriend: Oh, that looks so violent for such a small baby! Does she always sleep in the swing? If you want to go anywhere and have her take a nap, she'll want the swing! (Have I mentioned I just generally want to choke the girlfriend? I really should not let it annoy me so much, but she's just such an incredible know-it-all, even when she doesn't, you know, know. Ugh. Thank goodness she didn't come along.)

Going for a chiro adjustment tomorrow, and am going to get the baby one too.. will be interesting to see. Check-up with mw, too. Oops- baby calls!

[MadiMamacita]

yes, EDD. so your 42 week baby would be developmentally 2 weeks older.

[Carson]

Bottles, I felt the same way with my first, anys, and then DS never took a bottle again. This wasn't great for me because I had a hard time returning to work full time and just generally couldn't do things for more than an hr a time. This time around, I intros the bottle at "4w and have been givng him 1-2 oz daily. I'm still providing his ultimate food source. That is irreplaceable

I pump at 3am, lol. DS sleeps from 8 or 9 until 2 or 3, which is nutty. And I can only nurse him on one side at that point so I get 4 oz to store then. In the am, that first real feed, I get the 2 oz for the day. Love pumping in tandem with nursing, it is so effective.

It is just he and I cosleepijngin a queen sized bed. DH sleeps downstairs to listen for ds1 on the monitor.

Bah, reading along but so hard to type on my iPad...

[Flower of Bliss]

Co-sleeping - I use blankets, but angle them so they stay under DD3's armpits.  We switch sides nursing at night, so DD3 sleeps on whatever side she fell asleep nursing last, sometimes on the side, sometimes in the middle of me and DH.  When DD2 crawls in with us at night she sleeps on the other side of DH.  It's a super low king sized bed from ikea that I think is perfect for this stage.  I leak PLENTY, day and night, but I still sleep topless.  We have a wool blanket under me and DD3 and I keep a regular sized prefold over my chest.  I leak most when she's nursing, so I'm careful to keep it on the other side when I'm nursing.  This is pretty much what I did with the older two girls too, so I didn't think too much about it this time.

Swaddling - DD1 HATED being swaddled.  It made her scream and cry and kick and squirm and ...  I learned that quickly.  I haven't really tried it with subsequent babies.  DD3 sleeps in a thin cotton sleeper, but I live in the Houston area, and we keep our house pretty warm, so I'm not dealing with cold winter temps like many of you.

Bottles and pumping - I've never pumped and none of my kids have had bottles  I didn't set out to do it that way, but with DD1 it was always easier to just bring her with me when she was smaller, and as she got to be 12+ months, leaving her with DH for an hour or so wasn't an issue.  I donated my pump via holiday helpers on MDC when she was 2.  I've never acquired a new one, or wished I had one.  By the time I'm ready to be away from baby, baby is ready to go long enough without nursing to be away from me.  I have the luxury of being a SAHM, and it's just what's worked for me.

Miranda - I'd be upset too, about many of the in-law issues you've mentioned. I can't handle much time with my in laws staying here, and not at all without DH home too.

Slings - I love pouches with newborns.  DD3 rides in a pouch sling for many hours a day.  It's so different with baby #3.  Life just moves on, with a new tiny one in tow.

Cloth diapers - We use cloth from birth.  So far DD3 wears KL0's (the old ones from before they added microfiber.  I HATE microfiber.) with either wool or PUL covers.  We used KL0s and wool for DD2 when she was tiny, and prefolds and PUL for DD1 when she was a baby.  I love our diapers.

AFM - Vella's 2w2d old now.  DH went back to work Monday, and the 3 girls and I had a surprisingly good day.  Then that night DD2 came in crying and coughing with a classic seal bark sounding croup cough.  None of my kids had ever had that before, and I was terrified for DD3.  DH stayed home tuesday and took care of DD2 (who mostly slept against him on the couch while he worked at home), and took her to the ped late in the day.  Turns out she has her first ever ear infection!  She's on antibiotics, another rarity for us, and I'm way less worried about contagion. 

DD2 has been acting out plenty, getting into lots of mischief, throwing fits, screaming at the top of her lungs, etc.  I don't know how much of it is about the transition to being a big sister, DH going back to work, being sick, or just being 3.  I'm trying to be super understanding, but it's exhausting.  She is beyond sweet and adorable with her new baby sister though.

My bleeding has been super light and practically nonexistent for the second week.  Then Tuesday night I overflowed a pad (cloth, and not a big one, but I'd been waking up with clean pads for quite awhile) and I was pretty worried about it.  I intended to call or text my midwife later that day, but it was a full day, and it seems to have been a fluke.  I've been barely bleeding at all since then

Today, after DD1 and DD2's gymnastic classes I was nursing DD3 in arms while holding a diaper bag and a couple of lose things.  I walked quickly to DD2, who was a ways from me and near the parking lot, and bent down to talk to her and let her "touch tiny baby Vella".  Another mom I don't know at all laughed and said  "That's quite an evolution from the first when you feel like you need to sit and have your water and ..."  Made me smile.  Such a positive and casual reaction to seeing me NIP.  In my nearly 5 years of NIP, I've yet to get any negative reactions

[MotoMom]

Oh yes! Swaddling all the way over here. I use blankets or I think my midwife gave us a miracle blanket too which works great! Another good thing about using cloth diapers is that they're so bulky, they're helpful in preventing hip dysplasia. Not that I don't still use proper swaddling technique, just an interesting side note. 

Miranda, it's not the hormones. I would flip! Totally inconsiderate and awful. So sorry your in-laws are adding all of this stress to an already difficult time.

That wonder weeks thing is dead on for us!! How cool is that? I might just be sold on it.

Bottles- I haven't introduced a bottle either. Not sure I will. Maybe we'll try it sometime later in case I want to go out for a really long ride or something. We'll see. I have some milk stashed in case of emergency, though. I only just tried a paci for a short time one of the tough nights we had and seemed to have better success with just comfort-nursing instead. It lightened my mood though because it was one that my SIL gave us that has a mustache glued to it, so I got to entertain myself making funny mustache voices for a few minutes. :D

Try it! It's fun.

Judy - I totally feel you on the bawling and apologizing for being a bad mother. I had a day and a night especially that were like that for me. It looks like we're on the other side of a little rough patch though and things have been going much better these last few nights!

Hyde - Ugh. Sorry about the know-it-all gf! She sounds super annoying. Does she even have kids?.

Cloth diapers - we're using pocket diapers. Some fleece lined and some are suede cloth lined. I love them!! I have the Kawaii Baby minkys and a few of the bumgenius and another brand called Alva Baby that were awesome for the price! Like $5 a piece I think.

AFM - Hank looks like he might be figuring out this night thing pretty well! Fingers crossed that it sticks. Today we went to the motocross track again and mama got to get some laps in. It felt so awesome to get back out there and feel like I can ride again. Plus it's really cool to be able to do the sport that is going to be a big part of our family time together. DH and I met because of motorcycles and it's going to be so cool to introduce Hank to them when he's old enough.

[katt]

have you thought about taking baby to a chiro for the ear infection?

[Jend1002]

Motomom- Awesome photo of you and Hank! I love it! And it reminds me that I need to get out there and do more! Our family is into Crossfit and we did all go to a regional crossfit competition last weekend- pretty sure I was the only one nursing a baby! But of course, I was not competing...ah, maybe someday

I'd like to type more but I am on my phone and nursing in a sucky chair because we have house guests that I prefer not to nurse in front of. I really dislike guests right now and this is the secons week-long visit out of 4 on schedule during my maternity leave. I am ok with other people holding James so that part is ok. I just hate being out of my routine. Love my routines and love alone time (well, with my boys) even more.

[MotoMom]

Jend - it'll be awesome when you're the only one in the competition nursing. Like, bam! What's up strong mama!? I just lifted more than you AND I can sustain a life with my chest! I'd like to do some crossfit this winter. The memberships are just SO expensive, I'll really have to be able to commit if I do it. Sorry about having people in the house that you're not comfortable nursing around! That sounds awful. I just have to be able to flop the boob out around the house all day. My poor brother-in-law who rents a room has seen my boobs hanging out so many times it's par for the course. He's probably forgotten that they ever had any other purpose than feed sacks for Hank!

So my friend said something that really blew my mind yesterday. She's a doll and I love her to death but clearly has some different ideas about parenting than I do. Now I like to think I'll be pretty tough on Hank when he's older. I want to make sure he's a hard worker who pushes through when things are difficult and knows how to brush off the dust and get back on the horse when he falls and scuffs his knees - that sort of thing. But right now instinct says to answer his every cry and cater to his every "whim". We were talking about how I was stoked that Hank was sleeping at night and she says, "He's almost old enough where you can start letting him cry it out, right?" ...

What? Seriously? He's not even five weeks old! I let him fuss for a minute when he's asleep because sometimes it's just a few grunts and he'll settle right back down, but as soon as his noises get insistent, I get up and take care of his needs right away. 

Now I don't know if this is naive, but I really feel like it's important to parent with respect. Children are not lesser beings just because they haven't developed the skills we have as adults. Their feelings and emotions are just as strong and as valid as ours. DH doesn't just let me "cry it out" when I need comfort from him. If Hank wakes in the middle of the night and fusses or cries, it's because he's hungry or needs my help to burp or fart. I just don't ever see any reason to let someone I love "cry it out." Ever.

Maybe this will all bite me in the ass one day, but my instinct says it won't. 

[judybean]

Motomom-- you're spot on. Babies canNOT be spoiled. I always note this: When *I* cry, I need comforted... if my husband ignored me while I "cried it out" I would be devastated. If I cried because I was hungry and he was the only person in the world who could feed me, but he ignored me because he thought I was only trying to manipulate him, I would lose trust. Etc. You're doing Hank all the favors in the world by responding to him and showing him love.

[Faliciagayle]

Hi!  I fell off the face of MDC for a while.  The holidays are over, we had our naming ceremony for little Willhemina, and next week is the first full week of school for both my older ones.  My mom left Monday so this week has been my first taste of "all three at once."  It's been a bit crazy.  DD1 and DS are at school this morning and I haven't done anything I wanted which is mainly sewing though I have managed to make muffins, get granola started, and do some sheets.  Not all is lost.

Cosleeping:  once again we set up the cosleeper, and once again I wonder how anyone actually uses this thing??  I can put her down sometimes for naps, but at night, forget it.  She uses my boob as a pillow and gets completely snuggled up on her side to me.  I end up with one arm out cocooning her/keeping DH away.  The allergen cover on our mattress makes the sheets balloon - only when cosleeping with a NB.  Otherwise our sheets stay flat.  WTF?  DS is still sleeping with us, but he's on Dhs side.  I have woken up a few mornings to find all 5 of us in bed.  Sigh.  I'm with Carlin on how well we follow The Rules.

Swaddling:  stopped about a week ago, I keep trying but she's not into it.

Babywearing:  She's living in my Mei Tais.  Loves to be chest to chest.  Cradle holds scare me.  I prefer the RS but she's still so little I like the support of the MT.  I would go dig out my Moby but I mostly wear her in the house and it's too much fabric for me.  Am I the only one who thought the Dad in the YouTube video was kinda ... cute?  Perhaps it had more to do with the fact that he made a BW wearing tutorial.  I second TheBabyWearer.com for all things BWing related.  In honor of Babywearing international week, I sewed up two linen ring slings for some expecting mommies I know.  I turned my Rebozo into an RS which I LOVE but I think it's too long...

Poop:  Not a once a day pooper here.... every other day?  We're not getting seeds either but we're certainly yellow. 

Cloth dipes:  since birth with all three kids.  Though DS is almost completely in 'spodies since DD2 was born - there's something about his urine, our diapers and our washer that gives him a terrible case of irritated penis.  We have the old KL0s as well, which I love, but man they are a pain to dry.  Her stump is still healing so I'm having trouble with covers irritating the site.  The cord it gone but it's still scabby.  

On my "to sew" list are some sweater soakers, a merino soaker and possibly a sack, and finishing the MWs gift.

SHE JUST LAUGHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!      **melt**

[ascher21]

Wow, it's been a while since I wrote. I've been stalking on my phone, since I've mostly only got one hand during breastfeeding. Let's see if I can remember anything to comment on:

motomom---that IS an awesome picture!

cloth diapers--Benji's belly button was still bleeding, so the sposies were the best answer (unfortunately) for the first two weeks. The covers rubbed him too much. I have the KL0's, that Flower of bliss was talking about. But they're not my favorite, for some reason. I haven't gotten the hang of them, I guess. The snaps are quite far apart, and when they soak they are drenched. I have an expert peeing machine, and if he even sits in them for an hour or two I get this weird mildewy smell? I've actually started using my grovia OS, which are still a bit big on him, but they completely cover and seem to do less rubbing damage on his belly button, which is still a little weepy. I've also been using these 5 aio's by Osocozy, which are really just PUL sewn to the back of a prefold, and those things are DH's favorite. We are liking velcro more at this stage than snaps (especially DH).

sleeping through the night-- nope. not happening. He loves the daytime for napping. At this point I'm fine with it, I'll nap during the day. There's a certain point at night, usually around 1 to 6:30 where we eat, we burp, we change a diaper, and then sleep still does not happen. So we do the whole thing again an hour later. He's not crying inconsolably, he just flails around a bit, his eyes are wide open, and he makes little whiney sounds.

letting DH sleep-- I must admit I do this. My friend told me the other day that DH should be taking on diaper duty at night, but honestly, he tried it, and he is so exhausted the next day, he's completely useless to me when I need him to go to the store, make food, walk the dogs, do the dishes, take out the trash, bring me water, and i'd much rather have him be able to do that than wait 15 minutes listening to my baby cry while he tries to wake up for a diaper change.

[judybean]

Ascher-- I do all nighttime duties too. I never wake dh. I can't listen to cries and not tend to them myself. I'm fine with it 90% of the time (always for the baby, but for dd4 it can get old).

Dh has been at work for two weeks now and things feel pretty normal.. or rather, that we're finding our new normal. Except I still cannot seem to fold laundry. Any time I start, Leo wakes up... like he has a sensor that detects it with amazing accuracy.

[MamanFrancaise]

CIO - I find it absolutely ABUSIVE to allow infants to cry it out. That makes me want to vomit. Please tell me you educated your friend about this.  There is scientific evidence that allowing infants to cry it out can actually cause brain damage.

DH sleeping - My DH has moved downstairs to get a full-night sleep. The baby is such a loud sleeper and DH is a really light sleeper and so he was a zombie the next day. I would rather tend to the baby (because I can do it a zillion times faster) than wait for DH to "help".

[MissE]

I have been neglecting the board and all my fellow ddc mamas on here again. Just read through the last page.

Cloth diapers: we're still using sposies, the diapers i have are one size and don't fit around the leg well just yet. I put one on audtie the other day but they leaked..not fun.

CIO: i'm totally with you. I cannot listen to my babies cry, it makes me nervous. My entire body just tells me to go and be there for baby. I did let ds cry when he was little cause dh said that he needed it and everyone said that cio was necessary for him to become independent. Can you tell ds was my first, i was still learning back then.I sat on the dinner table unable to eat and i cried. I made it maybe 10-15 minutes and it seemed like an eternity. I havent let any of my babies cio ever since and even DH has come around and answers cries immediately.

Bleeding: it's on and off here. Some days it's very light, others bright red. I sure hope it stops soon.

Bottles/pacis: i have not introduced a bottle yet. As a matter of fact i have only pumped two oz so far. My boobs are always engorged so i don't wanna mess with the pump. I have however introduced the paci back. Though dd had some latching issues a few weeks ago (well..she's only three weeks old now) it now helps her with the grunting at night and the overeating - and throwing up - in the evenings.

[MissE]

Ok...continuing here with part 2 .

Cosleeping. We have the crib sidecarred and that's going good. Baby sleeps from about 8pm-12am, then i feed, change diaper and she's out til about 3am and that's when the grunting usually kicks in, arms thrown around, legs kicking etc. I sometimes lay her on my chest and we drift back off or i nurse her until she falls off the breast or whatever works. Up until the kicking part though, she's in her crib, right next to me. I must say, she's a good sleeper, nights are usually over around 5:30 or 6am though.

Losing it: weight that is. Seems like it's sticking to me a bit more than with the other two pregnancies. I have lost about 16lbs but i still have 12 lbs to go bit the scale is not budging. What does a woman do when she's frustrated? Right...retai l therapy. So my dh got to watch the kids tonight and my mom, little dd and me went for a three hour shopping spree. I got me a pair of pants that fit lol...i only have one pair right now and that got peed on yesterday. I also got a pack n play cause the little family antique bassinett is getting too small.

AUDRIE: gotta brag here but she's a very calm baby she hardly ever fusses and dh and i can consider ourselves lucky that we had three rather laid back babies. I was worried if i could handle a child that needed a lot of body contact or never slept and i'm sure it would have worked out somehow but honestly, i'm glad she's so easy gong. She loves to go for walks and DD1 is an awesome great sister that gives lots of kisses and attention.

[Worldshakerz]

I've been reading a lot and posting very little - I've just been tired out with this week long cold that is still hanging on around here, even the LO has it.

CIO..I don't understand it. My mom had my youngest brother when I was 16 - she would let him cry at night but I couldn't stand it so I would get up and feed him or change him or sing to him/rock him to sleep. I have never let my babies CIO, never will. I feel like people who are able to let babies CIO are lacking in empathy :( 

Benji is 4 weeks old today! At his 2 week check up he was 7lb 7.5oz and today he is 8lb 6oz - up 14.5 oz in 2 weeks time. He's grown an inch too since he was born. We had a long day today, we were out for the entire day doing shopping in the morning, a short park visit, pediatrician in the afternoon, and another store in the evening. We had to do the PKU/infant screening again because the lab didn't think it was a sufficient amount of blood on the sample - but I nursed Benji during it and he didn't even cry so yay. The pediatrician also drew my blood to test my vitamin D levels. Last year around this time when I tested I was low on Vit D and I've been supplementing for most of the past year. She wants to make sure I have good levels so it will be passed on in my breast milk (and for my health too :P) 

[MissE]

Audrie had her pku on thursday. I'm done with doctors for now. I dont want her to get poked anymore lol. We went to the pediatricuan for her two week checkup and she had gone from 7lbs13oz at birth to 9lbs6oz at two weeks. She has rolls on her legs and more chins than a chinese phone book. I love me some chubby babies.

Worldshakerz. I hope you feel better soon. We have been sick too and so far audrie didn't get it. Stuffy babies are no fun. Get better soon.

Oh about vitamin D. Our pediatrician suggested supplementing with vitamin d. Is it necessary? We live in tx, we're outside quite a bit and i never supplemented my other two kids.

[Worldshakerz]

My pediatrician also suggested D3 but just up to 14 pounds. I'm not sure what the reason is, maybe just as an extra precaution until they are bigger/while their levels build up in their body? She says after 14 lbs what the baby gets from my breast milk will be fine, as long as I am getting enough. The drops I got are just D3 and mct oils...medium chain fatty acids that are in coconut oil and breast milk, so I feel like its alright. I live in Florida and I still ended up being low in Vitamin D somehow. I end up supplementing, usually with cod liver oil.

[Flower of Bliss]

DH's first week back at work just ended.  It's been a rough week, but I overall felt like it was going well and I was doing ok.  Now he's got a stomach bug   I'm trying desperately not to panic here

[Jend1002]

Not so "D"H rant - I do ask for his help at night and dont know why I bother. I am still having so many breast feeding issues - most that are contributing to the fact that DS is up the whole night. I get that and am trying to figure out how to control over active letdown among other things. I haven't tied elimination diets yetbecause I am pretty sure our issues are mechanical buti admit to getting so discouraged right now.

It's hard that we are having such a bad time- so please DH, it's the OPPOSITE of freaking helpful and supportive to say we should just use formula!!! And then 5 minutes later when I ask you to hold our grunting, writhing baby so I can get an hour of sleep, do not say how having just one was perfect! I could punch him. I don't care how tired we are- that's not ok.

How is it that i get far less sleep but have to keep it together and be loving and warm to our kids despite feeling like I am going to drop while he can be an ass? I am beyond sick of it and we aren't even 4 weeks in!!