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cosleeping burnout

post #1 of 10
10/9/12 at 8:43am
Thread Starter 

DD is 9 months. I feel like I was woken up 100 times last night. We moved to the recliner in the middle of the night. Usually she stays asleep better there but it didn't really work. She doesn't cry much but she rolls back and forth kicking and scratching at my breasts. Even on a good night I often still can't get comfortable. Not really enough room or she seems to sense my comfort and thats when she will wake up. She can't sleep on her own, not even for naps. She spends a good deal of her time latched on but it has been getting better slowly.

 

She is getting close to walking and I hope it is like people say and it will get better after this. She was such a good sleeper the first few months.

 

This is all adding up to no quality sleep for me. I would give an arm for just one good nap by myself.

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post #2 of 10
10/9/12 at 4:16pm

We struggled with multiple, multiple night wakings with our daughter until she was about 2 years old. Then we stopped bed-sharing. I am pregnant again, and I am confused about co-sleeping. Are there parents who don't co-sleep and still get woken up 20 times a night by their 1 and 1/2 year old? Or is this just the reality of co-sleeping, especially given that I am a light sleeper? When we stopped co-sleeping, both of our sleep improved radically- hers actually improved much quicker because I would still wake up even though I didn't need to. 

 

I guess I connected with your post title, "co-sleeping burnout". I am finding myself full of doubt, since I saw how much her sleep seemed to improve once we stopped. And she did cry for a few nights, but we would go to her and tuck her in and say she needed to stay in her bed (which was actually our king bed on the floor that we abandoned to her as we moved into "her" room.)  I am really confused about co-sleeping right now, especially with an older baby/toddler. 

post #3 of 10
10/9/12 at 4:41pm

I never bed shared. I  think it is dangerous. I room shared because I think it is easier to nurse at night that way. I really can;t imagine getting any sleep with a child in my bed. I need sleep to function. I am simply a not a good mother without sleep.

 

At 8 months my kids were no longer nursing at night and I moved them to their own room

 

They  are teens now and almost adults. They are wonderfully, loving, helpful, compassionate and independent human beings.

 

When their friends come over, I seriously can't determine who co-slept and who did not. Who was nursed for 5 months or 5 years. Who went to day care or not. Who was a natural water birth and who was c-section.

 

I think a lot of thing I thought were important when I was a kid do not really matter.

 

Do what feels right for you.

 

If you feel burned out, it seeps into your day time readerships with the child.  If something does not work, who care what others say or what is int eh books. Do what make you and the child sleep better. 

post #4 of 10
10/9/12 at 4:45pm

9 months was really rough at my house.  Google the 9-month sleep regression.  Hang in there, it DOES get easier.

post #5 of 10
10/9/12 at 8:01pm

Are you really set on continuing to co-sleep? I transitioned my daughter to her own crib about that time because neither one of us were getting any sleep. She eventually started crawling out bed in the middle of the night too, and waking up screaming when she hit the floor (the mattress was right on the ground) and it was just terrible all around. It was a huge relief when I transitioned her to a crib in our room around 10 months, then into her room about 1 year. As soon as she started sleeping on her own, she stopped waking up all the time. I think we would wake one another up all the time, or at least prevent one another from falling into a deep sleep. Transitioning to the crib was difficult for a couple of weeks, but we never did cry-it-out and now at 15 months she goes right to sleep in her cribs for naps and at night with no fussing, and wakes up once a night at most. It is amazing! I loved co-sleeping while it worked for us, but as soon as it stopped working we made a change and it worked great for us. 

post #6 of 10
10/10/12 at 3:03pm

OP, I have recently come to feel the same way, that cosleeping up to this point was great and now it's not great anymore. Therefore, time to transition! I can't imagine it will go 100% easily/smoothly, but my son and I are waking each other up. The time has come. You don't have to give your arm, but I would be surprised if there wasn't some temporary fussing. 

post #7 of 10
10/11/12 at 10:17am

I feel the same way. I'm exhausted. Our LO is almost 16 months. She is teething heavily this past week, so I have the whole transition thing on hold. It seems like something always gets in the way. She only has 4 teeth, so she still has quite a ways to go. I was planning to first try the Dr. Jay Gordon's night time weaning method and then I was going to transition her from our bed and into either her crib or something else in our room. Haven't thought that far since it doesn't to be in the near future. Our LO does nap in her crib, but we put her down already asleep. It's not like we put her in there and she goes off to sleep on her own. Usually naps between 1 hour and 2 hours. From what I remember 9 months was bad, but honestly it isn't much better now.

post #8 of 10
10/20/12 at 11:36pm

i don't have any advice, just commiseration. every time i start thinking "that's it!" in regards to co-sleeping with my 18 month old daughter, she cries out in her sleep, terrified, or whimpers my name with hands searching for me, or she wakes me up smiling and kissing my face, etc etc etc. and then i think ok, it's worth it. but every day is pretty exhausting and overwhelming and i can't help but wonder how much of it is due to my sleep-deprived state. :Z anyhow, good luck - i do think it's been worth it overall but the older she gets the harder it is to justify..

post #9 of 10
11/1/12 at 10:40am
Quote:
Originally Posted by SplashingPuddle View Post

When we stopped co-sleeping, both of our sleep improved radically-

We had the same experience - although you lasted a lot longer!  We only co-slept for the first couple weeks.  We have been room-sharing ever since with DS in his own crib.  That arrangement has worked really well for us so far.  The other significant change we made was giving up the paci.  It's been a full two weeks without the paci; one night he woke at 3am super wet, but has otherwise slept through the night every night without it.  DS is only three months and change though - so I'm curious to see if his great sleep habits continue as he gets older.

post #10 of 10
11/1/12 at 10:43am
Ooops, double posted, sorry.