if you have or are having identical twins - a silly question

[SortaCrunchy]

We've known since 13 weeks that these little boys are mono-di. We are excited (my DH is particularly elated) to have identical twins, but I am SUPER curious how you tell them apart from birth?

I've heard of painting toenails different colors, but what other things have you done or heard of?

Also, I was kind of thinking that at least through the newborn stage, I would dress them in their own colors - maybe one blue and one green. Is that ridiculous?

How early could you, as a parent, begin to tell them apart?

[rinap]

We worried about this a lot. I've heard toenails and putting a dot on the back of the neck of one twin. We left the hospital anklet on for quite a while. But one girl was jaundiced, so that made it easier to tell them apart, and by the time she wasn't we were firm on which is which (not that we don't have our moments of calling them by the wrong name, but if we pause and look we can tell).

I dress them in different colors, though we often use "warm color/cool color" because we use a lot of hand-me-downs, and because wearing only two colors is boring. :) But it helps us and it *really* helps family members and friends who want to be able to tell them apart but aren't with them often enough to know.

[Gena 22]

Yup, I thought about this too!  But it was never a problem.  One twin was a pound heavier at birth, and that made them look totally different to my eye anyway.  They just were so different - different expressions, reactions, lovey.  I never had trouble. 

But the color coding is a good idea.  As much as I remember knowing who was who, they're a lot more alike in pictures.  Looking back years later, there are times I could only tell who's who from the clothes!

Nail painting is fun too!
 

[~Adorkable~]

though i do have a set of adult MZ guys as friends and when they heard i was having twins, the one thing they said was they both begged me not to assign them colors. they got given REd and Blue and to this day both hate the color they were made to wear apparently too much of.  food for thought.

[rnra]

I have a friend who used temporary tattoos on their skin.  Each twin had their own design/style.

[SortaCrunchy]

Such good ideas! Lots to think about. Thanks, everyone!

[rinap]

Yeah. I worry about that, though we try to make sure they both have a variety of colors, just an overall tone that's different.

One thing to pay attention to is whether the twins read as boys or girls. I got a lot of people talking about how it's fine if their child roughhouses with my boy but they should be gentle with my girl (!!!! at nine months?) because one girl was wearing green overalls and the other girl was wearing blue. I don't mind people being unsure about whether they're boys or girls, but that was ridiculous.

[Adaline'sMama]

We aren't sure, so I plan to write an "A" on baby A's belly for the first little while.Eventually we will probably do toenail polish.

[ChaoticMum]

Our boys who are 3yrs now, were only 4oz different, so they were so alike it was scary. I braided bracelets in two colours..amber for baby A and blue for baby B. when they started putting hands in their mouth i made anklets instead. We did tend to dress one in greens/yellows and one in blues/whites for the first 6mths and when people came to visit we made sure of it. To this day, although we don't do it anymore people still look for those colours but the boys themselves have no clue of it, so I am sure it will fade from people's memories in time. They are only 3.

After 6mths we discovered that their birthmark between their eyes was the same, but mirror imaged.the key was remembering which one went which way.....now at three its completely faded, but they are awesome about answering which is which if you ask and even at times when they think you are referring to the wrong one they will correct you. Many times I will be putting Z's coat on, and call L at the same time...Z will turn and say "I am Z!!!" not knowing I am multitasking.

[SympatheticDad]

Originally Posted by SortaCrunchy 

We've known since 13 weeks that these little boys are mono-di. We are excited (my DH is particularly elated) to have identical twins, but I am SUPER curious how you tell them apart from birth?

Hi!  Good luck on your upcoming adventure.

I was worried about this also before our twins were born.  Now, with some experience, I say:  don't worry about it.  The term "identical" is misleading, "monozygotic" is a more accurate word.  Your children will be genetically identical, but small variations in the uterine environment will inevitably lead to differences in their appearance - their heads may be shaped differently, they may develop different moles, and so on.  It's really only an issue for the first week or so, when they're still wearing their hospital bracelets (which you will be thankful for).  By the second week, your friends and relatives won't be able to tell them apart, but you will.  By the time they're a few months old, they'll look as different to you (if not to others) as night and day.

[nd_deadhead]

Congratulations on your double blessing!

My monozygotic twins were within 2 oz of each other at birth - no help there. But Bryan was born with long hair, and James had a head of peach fuzz. We could tell them apart in the dark! Bryan also has a birthmark on his temple, and James has one on his tummy, so we could never mix them up for long. It wasn't too long before I could tell their voices apart.

When they were 9 months old, James's hair had grown, and they were grabbing each other's hair, so we gave them buzz cuts. We had used the hair as an identifier for so long that we hadn't picked up on more subtle differences. That was when we started to color-code - blue for Bryan (easy to remember), and any other color for James (though it often turned out to be red). They are 18 years old now, and James rarely wears blue, and Bryan rarely wears red.

They still look a lot alike, and there are some pictures from when they were about a year old (and had the same haircut) that I'm not sure who is who!

[fragola3]

I agree w/ Sympathetic Dad.  My mz girls were only 2 oz apart, but one had more hair than the other.  In fact, I insisted they were fraternal b/c of this, and then eventually got a DNA test to confirm MZ.  

This said, at night I sometimes couldn't tell them apart--due to my sleep deprivation and the dark.  And also, as toddlers, I almost gave one of them a double dose of medication by accident, thinking I was giving the medicine to the other twin.  Now I'm very careful when administering any medication.

Didn't ever mark them in any way other than dressing them totally different.

It's true--they will seem so different to you, but not to others.  Just how it is!  I think the confusion is mostly at the beginning....best of luck!

[Tigerchild]

My boys had TTTS so there was a huge size difference.  Now it's not so apparent, but when they're 4 and 6 lbs--big big difference.

There are some MZ twins that look so much alike that even close friends and parents can't tell them apart, but we know a lot MZ twins and don't know any sets where the parents/sibs don't boggle at people who can't.  My boys are in the same class at school (and have been since K, they're in 4th grade now) with mostly the same kids, and everyone gets so annoyed with substitutes who can't tell them apart--they always say "but they don't look ANYTHING LIKE each other!".

Now in some photos I have a hard time, because it's static.  But they have very different facial expressions and mannerisms, and are mirror image twins.  I suspect it will not really be as difficult as you think it will be.  :)

[13pumpkins]

Our girls STILL can confuse us.  When the triplets were born, we discovered two are identical.  For us, we have a size difference but it was not enough in the wee hours of the night.  For us, we used their belly buttons.  The way they healed was not something that genetics controlled.  Now, we are better at telling them apart by face (still cannot go back and decipher some of the photos) but the belly buttons really do help.

I color coded at first but with three, it just became impossible to keep up!

[~Adorkable~]

be careful on relying on belly buttons, in the first few months, my girls started as a innie, then popped out like a Thanksgiving turkey and then at some point we really didn't even notice popped back in again. if i was counting on it as a ID i would have been pretty confused!

[cdahlgrd]

Some identical twins are really identical.  Ours were within a few ouces for YEARS and until they got scars, they were nearly impossible to tell apart even for us.  So yes, we used colors to help us and mostly OTHERS tell them apart.  Now they have different haircuts. 

We didn't realize how much we used their haircuts to id them, until the babysitter gave them both buzz cuts when they were 6!  I had to make them talk to me (because their voices are different).

We used a sharpie and marked baby B for a couple months until we figured out a small difference.  I love the braided bracelet's, but they may need anklets to stay on at first. 

Enjoy!

[Shuli]

My boys are not identical at all, down to their blood type (and their belly buttons), but three doors down are a set of identicles who are about 18 months older than mine. That mother kept them back, so all four of them are now in Kindergarten together. The other mother was telling me that she took them for an eye test and the doctor looked in their eyes and commented "wow, they really are identical!".

Because they were held back, they are in a different class than they were last year, so she makes sure she dresses them differently and gave them different haircuts. I can tell them apart, but for the life of me I can't remember who's who!! They and their siblings can, and so can my boys. Most of the kids in the class can tell them apart just because they spend so much time with them and know them better.