When are you going to tell people? « Back to Group Discussions

[samy23]

I won't be telling anyone before 12 weeks. Last time I think I was only 5 weeks when I told my immediate family because I couldn't keep it to myself for long, but I waited until 12 weeks before telling other family and friends. 

This time I already feel I want to share it with people closest to me, but I'm trying hard not to. It's my secret for now! (shared online only)

When do you plan to tell people?

[SpicyTunaRoll78]

Told my closest friends already, and found out one is due a week after me! . The rest of the family will find out around 2nd trimester, and the rest of the world, after that.

[Mama4life14]

I told all my close family around 5 weeks. And I plan to wait until after my appointment on Nov 5 to tell the rest of the world. I'll be around 11 weeks. I told everyone around 10 weeks with my last pregnancy.

[anyalily]

I am a big blabber mouth... It seems like there is always a reason to share it with this person and that person... I am telling the people who would be supporting me if I G-d forbid, have a miscarriage or other complication...

I've told my DH, my dad and step-mom, one of my clients (because she was requesting my due date for an event, and because she knew we've been trying), and I told my cousin who is trying with IVF for her partner and we have been 2WW buddies.

My friends, I will probably tell them as I see them, which isn't often because I am working a lot. My mom, I am not sure when I will tell her, because I don't want a negative reaction (she wants the best for me, and I had a rough time with DD). 

We thought of a funny way to tell my brother. We have a website for DD with pictures for the out-of-country grandparents and friends... It is DD'sname.com. He teased us a while back saying that by the time we have another we will be like, oh well, old news and just post pictures on DD'sname.com/sibling. So I was think of setting up a page like that and sending him a link... I will see him in two months so I may tell do it when he comes home for the holidays.

I will have to tell my professional community sooner than later because I will need to plan maternity leave (I am a newly-elected president of a non-profit board... It may not go over well... I also have clients that will be difficult to juggle because I am self-employed... So that will take some planning...) 

[warjos]

I told my mom a couple of days after I got my positive test, but that was mostly because we traveled to see my family and she started asking me about the LEEP I was supposed to have (but didn't, because I was pregnant). Also because she would be the first person I would tell should I have another miscarriage. I also told a very close friend of mine. She is due just a week after when I would have been due with my previous pregnancy. I told her about my miscarriage right before she told me about her pregnancy (awkward....), so I wanted to give her some good news from my end for once. 

Other than that, we're planning on telling the rest of our family when we are visiting over Christmas. I don't plan on making any kind of formal announcement (on Facebook or otherwise). Despite being happy for my friends, those things just tore me apart after my miscarriage and I don't want that kind of attention. I just think I can let the news spread via word of mouth. 

[pokeyAC]

I would like to wait a little while, but my wife is really bad at keeping secrets and she would love to tell people.  Since we had a loss before, she knows how important it is to wait.  Things are looking better this time so I told her it was ok to tell her Dad.  My family lives far away, but my Mom and sisters are going to be flying out to my aunt's house in Texas, and I am meeting them in the middle around Veteran's Day so I plan on telling them when I see them.  It will be nice to tell them in person.  I plan on calling my Dad and his wife before the trip so I can tell them too.  I would like to wait longer to tell our friends, at least until the second trimester.  I will probably put it on Facebook after 4 months or so just to be safe.  I am hoping I won't have to tell people at work too soon because I recently started working with some new people and I don't want them to feel like I'm abandoning them.  We'll see how it all works out.

anyalily - That website idea sounds hilarious!

[mamacatsbaby]

I've already started telling people lol.

[kitteh]

I'm only 4 weeks along now and already itching to tell people! I have told two friends at work who were involved in my TTC journey (one of whom is trying herself, I really hope that she is successful soon so I can have a RL pregnancy buddy) Other than that we're planning to hold off until we see the heartbeat, and then I'll probably start telling family members.

[SASHA100]

i will wait till first simester is over only my boss knows and hubby im 8 weeks now im 38 and its very hard not to tell everbody we were trying for 7 years but im almost there

[kitteh]

K, so we totally caved and told both of our parents.

But before we did that DH told one of our neighbors who knew that we were TTC. I was lying in bed, half-naked, trying not to throw up when DH calls from the livingroom "Hey honey, come here! Francois wants to say congrats to you!" I just shouted NO! and kicked the bedroom door shut. Gracious of me, I know. I then told DH that I didn't want to start telling the world quite so early, in case of early M/C and he agreed, but said he was just so excited and had to tell someone. So we Skyped both sets of parents and told them. They were so happy!

Then yesterday we went out to dinner with my brother and when he saw that I wasn't drinking wine he guessed that I'm knocked up, and I guess my grin gave us away.

[FreeRangeMama]

We weren't going to tell anyone at all.  We thought they would just figure it out eventually.  My bf figured it out right away though, as soon as she saw me she just knew.  It was weird and typical of our relationship 

My mom figured it out when I didn't have any wine at Thanksgiving a few weeks ago.  I didn't think she would notice.  I was kind of bummed out when she knew.  We finally told the kids a couple of days ago because they were wondering why Mama was in bed all the time.  I think they thought I had some serious illness!  Since they play non-stop with the cousins on DH's side of the family we figured we may as well tell them too so I told them yesterday.

Work is complicated, not sure when to tell them.  My manager is not currently managing my department so I will probably wait until she is back.  I don't know when that will be.  DH and I work at the same place so that news will travel FAST and I am not sure I am ready for that yet.  I will wait until after 12 weeks for sure.  It has been hard to do my job while feeling so terrible.  I work with children and parents and it requires a great deal of energy and enthusiasm.  Not easy when you just want to vomit.  Or nap.

Everyone else will just find out when they find out.  I have no plans to announce it on FB or call everyone I know.  This pregnancy was a complete surprise for us and I am really in no hurry for the world to know.  Plus, it has been kind of fun for it to be our little secret for these past 4 weeks.  I am kind of sad that phase is over.  It will be interesting to see how the news trickles out.