I'm pregnant and don't like kids, even worse, I really really don't like babies.
I can relate to your situation somewhat. I am a dog person too, definitely a tomboy, spend as much time outdoors as possible, work with teenagers, and like older kids well enough, but I was never a "baby person" and did not grow up dreaming about marriage/children. Nope, traditional feminine stuff is definitely not my cup of tea. Yet, here I am doing the mom-thing, and strangely that is working out fine. Even so, kids under 3 years old are in a lot of ways a complete mystery to me. I didn't have a clue what to do with babies, and pretty much had to learn everything on the job...I still often say I'm just making it up as I go.
Some people enjoy pregnancy. Others don't. Some people are crazy about babies, others find them repulsive. But the thing to keep in mind, is that no matter how you feel generically about other people's babies, you WILL feel very differently about your own child. You really can't help it actually...there's a whole chemical soup of hormones that pretty much ensure this.
Oh and the diaper thing...I had serious concerns about that since I have a lot of sensory issues around smells, and was so queasy when pregnant, I wondered how I would ever deal with someone else's fecal matter...oddly enough, you just DO, and it really isn't as bad as it seems. After a week of changing diapers, you can do it blindfolded with one hand. ;)
You will get your body back (if you want to). The immediate postpartum period is rough, but slowly but surely you will resemble yourself again.
The sleep thing sucks hard, but it's not permanent, and it becomes less of an issue over time. It's probably the hardest thing about having a baby, IMO.
Carting around baby-crud is annoying, but you get used to it...After awhile, it becomes normal. Then eventually they are able to carry their own crud!
You don't have to lose your identity--you just kind of evolve into a new stage of yourself.
You don't have to start hanging around "kid" people unless you find yourself wanting to. I personally don't, so I just do the things I already enjoy. You don't have to do "kid" stuff...for the most part, you can do a lot of the same things that you are probably doing now, just on a different scale. I do a lot of the same stuff I always have done, just at a bit slower of a pace. But I definitely don't do a lot of the standard "kiddie" stuff because it annoys me. On the other hand, if you want, its a great time to relive some of things you enjoyed from your own childhood.
-It's possible that my dogs could be stressed out about a new member of the pack, and never adjust.
That's pretty rare though. Almost everyone I know at this point has kids and dogs. Most of the dogs I've ever known, readily accept new small humans--much more readily than they do another dog. They usually become extremely protective of the children they live with. Dogs tend to jump into this protective mode with "their kids" without ever being told to do so, and as long as they respect your authority, and aren't overly rambunctious, you don't really have to worry too much about them adjusting to kids. They totally get that the kid is an important pack member.
My one dog hates children and will nip them if they run, the other is neutral.
Babies aren't mobile for a long time, so you will have plenty of time for this dog to get used to a new baby, and figure out what arrangements will need to be made to ensure that both can co-exist.
Having kids is actually a lot like having dogs, IMO. They just stay puppies longer, and you can take them more places, but from a logistical perspective, there's a lot of similarity, and you end up having to deal with quite a lot of the same stuff.
Doesn't a newborn take all your time?? How will I find time to do the things I enjoy and keep my mental health?
At first, yes. They're pretty needy. Gradually this lessens, and you get some more time to yourself. If you are lucky enough to have family/friends who can help out, this happens even sooner. Basically the first year SUCKS hardcore, and then you start getting more and more time back. If you work outside the home, then you have HOURS of adult time to yourself, and that helps a lot!
I'm also in school, working my way towards a PHD.
Ouch! That's not going to be easy. How much time do you have left in school? You'll need to do as much as you can BEFORE the baby arrives because it's hard to find time to read/study/write with an infant on the scene.
This baby will cramp my style. I don't want to resent it, or my hubby if my life turns out bogged down by a child.
This is something you'll have to navigate, and it won't be easy. You'll have to reallocate significant portions of your time and put things on hold temporarily. If you can afford it, you may want to look into hiring some help, especially while you are still in school.
I have a hard time taking care of my needs, so I don't know how I will be able to take care of needs of a helpless baby.
Oddly enough, I find it easier to take care of my kid than myself. And babies are good advocates for themselves...they will let you know if they need something!
If you're sure you want to go through with this, make sure you prepare yourself for birth as much as possible!
The nice thing about 9 months of gestation is that it gives you plenty of time to process the impending doom--ahem--profound changes that are going to take place in your life. Parenthood changes you in more ways than you can imagine (mostly positive), and having nine months to sort through all the ambivalence is helpful. As you lose the ability to do certain things, it's good practice for what's coming, but I think of it as a slow and graceful transition towards your new reality. You will be changed by this in ways you can scarcely imagine. It's nice to have this time to internalize and work through the emotions that come up. I think being totally scared is normal. No one hardly talks about this, but it ain't all sunshine and roses, and most women I've known (even the ones who claimed to be deliriously happy about babies) have moments of ambivalence and doubt. Good luck!