The "One" Thread 10/14 - 10/21 - Page 4

[SparkleMaman]

Thank you for the warm welcome. Another BFN this morning, 12 DPO. Trying to relax and let what is be, hard to do. Symptom spotting - it is SO hard to stop myself! And I just feel compelled to POAS! Not very zen I am exhausted, having crazy vivid dreams, increased discharge and my breasts are so sore. Could all be explained otherwise though. With my DD I had implantation bleeding, didn't know what it was then, and didn't test until the day AFTER  my period was due (I thought the IB was the early start of my period). Nothing this week. Sigh. Should know by Monday! Baby dust to you all 
 

[Lidamama84]

Big hugs, Anya! Take time to take care of yourself and your beautiful family.

I would also be willing to take over the thread if no one else wants it :)

[anyalily]

I had a hard day yesterday. I am hoping it is all over and it is just normal bleeding now. I haven't had any more cramping today. I am grateful that it was so early.  have been reading about later losses and they sound unbearable.

We went to the ocean last night to see the sunset and say goodbye.  I wrote up my experience. http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1366029/an-early-loss-just-processing

This reaffirms that I need to prioritize my health over having another baby right now. I need to find a way to regain equilibrium and lose the excess weight before I try again. I just have to give that to myself.

So I will be here, and for now I don't mind updating the thread. I do want to try again in a few months so I feel comfortable hanging out in waiting to be ready land. And I want to be here to see all of your BFPs!

[SparkleMaman]

Anya, glad you were able to watch the sunset and that you are taking time for yourself. Wishing you much comfort.

[SparkleMaman]

And your story is beautifully written.

l

[sarahl918]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, Anya. Your story was very touching. It sounds like you are in a good place and I hope that you can continue thinking positive and getting healthy. Take good care of yourself during this time! Thinking of you. 

AFM, AF came one day earlier than I was expecting her. So, onto next month for me. I guess you can move me to "Waiting to O?" The good news is that my cycle now seems to be a normal 28 days post-m/c (this is my 2nd period since my loss in August). 

Hope everyone is doing well tonight!

[nerissav]

I got a faint positive on a wondfo and FRER today that even DH could see.  I guess it would be time to move to graduated even though I'm a little concerned that it is early at 11 dpo.  Well, hopefully it will stick.  

[dayiscoming2006]

Congrats Nerissav!

[sarahl918]

Congrats, Nessa!!! So exciting!!! 

[sarahl918]

Make that Nerissav... wow, it's not even that early and my brain is still not working! 

[JustJenny]

Congrats Nerrisav! I hope you have a wonderful pregnancy and birth 

[aHikaru]

thinking of you all and wishing you all the best 

[anyalily]

Nerissav, congrats! I hope for a happy healthy pregnancy for you!

Sarah, glad to hear things are looking normal for you, sorry you didn't catch it this month, but hope for next month!

AFM, I am in a good place. Moments of sadness, but I didn't have much time to feel pregnant... I am wondering how I am going to make the healthy changes I need to make. Right now I feel afraid to work out when I had the loss just a few days ago. I keep wondering if I am going to bleed heavy again. I think not, but I want to be careful. I am taking St Johns Wort and it is helping with my mood and optimism. I am sort of cheerful by nature, but have been sort of depressed and anxious for a while. I want to get back to center. I wish I could go on one of those health/weight loss retreats. I feel like one week of good habits would snap me back onto the path... 

[tinytina]

Anya, I am so sorry. I am inconsistent too due to not feeling 100% about everything either.

[tinytina]

Congrats Nerrisav!

[LittleKind]

Anyalily, I'm so sorry. You are not alone in this, and your grief will help you heal fully. You don't have to be optimistic, be centered, or be ready to lose weight right away. When we lose our babies, a piece of us is truly gone. We're broken. Think about a broken bone. You have to cast it, use crutches, treat it with care. We want to be able to do the things we want, but we need to rest and heal. I know not every woman takes it hard, but I did. If you are, too, its OK. Nothing goes away until we've learned from it what we need to, and even then I don't think its ever really gone. Someone will do the thread and you take care of yourself. Hold your family tight and heal. I know I'm an anonymous voice and this might not mean anything, but you'll be on my mind and in my prayers.

[InLove2009]

Anyalily- I am so sorry to hear this! 

[anyalily]

New thread. http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1366199/the-one-thread-october-21-28

Lida, I saw your offer to take over the threadkeeping for while and I appreciate it. I think I will give it another few weeks and see how it feels. I just don't want to leave this lovely community and I think it is god for me to remember why I need to take care of myself - so i can try again soon!