October 14th Weekly Chat Thread - Page 5 « Back to Group Discussions

[travelmumma]

Sego- five hours under??? Wow! That is some major surgery!! Dental surgery is my least favorite!
Harmony- COLOUR COLOUR COLOUR LABOUR LABOUR LABOUR HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! He he he:) oh and Zed, not Zeee when saying the ABC haha!

So I think I have discovered a new fear of mine... As happy as I am that they are coming up before baby and birth, it's getting frustrating dealing with something all the time. Last time it was dealing with why I don't want a c section.. This time it's tearing! It's not that I am afraid of tearing as such, it's the "internal work" that DH and I have been asked to do to stretch my body in prep.. And it's the idea of someone stitching me up, and having to check on those stitches regularly... Hmmm this could take some talking out! Times like these I get really angry that I have been abused.

What else? Just slowly getting ready for bub! DH and I have made a date to get all last minute stuff. It's two days after I hit 36 weeks so I think that's good. And of course we will be getting everything we can before them, but that day is there as a "oh crap- we forgot a blah blah" day.

[tropicana74]

Originally Posted by travelmumma 

So I think I have discovered a new fear of mine... As happy as I am that they are coming up before baby and birth, it's getting frustrating dealing with something all the time. Last time it was dealing with why I don't want a c section.. This time it's tearing! It's not that I am afraid of tearing as such, it's the "internal work" that DH and I have been asked to do to stretch my body in prep.. And it's the idea of someone stitching me up, and having to check on those stitches regularly... Hmmm this could take some talking out! Times like these I get really angry that I have been abused.
 

Yea, I can see tearing as being a valid fear. It is not fun and neither are stitches. I did though just want to say one thing about that. In my case there was no "having to check on the stitches regularly". The doctor put in my stitches and they dissolved on their own. I did go back for my 6 week post-partum check up but it really wasn't a necessary visit. They just asked a bunch of questions about how I was feeling, if bleeding had stopped, if we had resumed sex, and then tried to talk to me about getting on birth control. My doctor was actually at the hospital delivering a baby and so it was the nurse who I saw and I don't recall her doing an exam to look at my stitches at all.

With birth #1 baby's head was born a lot slower so there was no issue with tearing. So, I imagine if it is a big concern for you you could make sure that you are doing warm oil compresses before/during the pushing phase. I can't remember, are you planning a water birth? From what I have read that really helps the tissues stretch with more ease and leads to less tearing too.

Hugs to you about the abuse coming up for you. I feel so blessed that none of my past abuse has ever come into play during my pregnancy/births. I have read of so many on this DDC that have this issue rear it's ugly head during pregnancy...that must just add a whole different layer of emotions to  the situation...I am so sorry. 
 

[Harmony96]

Originally Posted by travelmumma 

Harmony- COLOUR COLOUR COLOUR LABOUR LABOUR LABOUR HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! He he he:) oh and Zed, not Zeee when saying the ABC haha!
So I think I have discovered a new fear of mine... As happy as I am that they are coming up before baby and birth, it's getting frustrating dealing with something all the time. Last time it was dealing with why I don't want a c section.. This time it's tearing! It's not that I am afraid of tearing as such, it's the "internal work" that DH and I have been asked to do to stretch my body in prep.. And it's the idea of someone stitching me up, and having to check on those stitches regularly... Hmmm this could take some talking out! Times like these I get really angry that I have been abused.

You forgot "honour" lol.

Just echoing tropicana on the tear repair. I only tore with DD (who, oddly, was 1.5 lbs LESS than DS (who came later)) and it was no big deal at all. They stitched me up while I was cuddling with babygirl. It was sore to sit for a while (and hard chairs felt better than big cushy chairs), but there wasn't any regular checking or anything. They give you a "peri bottle" that you use when you go to the bathroom, so you just rinse off instead of wiping. It's really no big deal at all. ((hugs))

[nhklh]

Travelmumma, I'm sorry a new fear has arisen for you.  Have you talked to your MW about it?  About what would happen if you tore?  It's certainly possible to heal tears without stitches.  I do think it's a "normal" fear to work through but certainly amplified by an abuse history.  You've every right to be angry!

I don't know if this will be relevant to you, but some women find breastfeeding can be triggering with an abuse history too.

[travelmumma]

So after writing this I expressed how I have been feeling to DH and we listened through the perineal massage cd my MW gave us.. I as afraid it'd be really crap or about "just fiddling around down there".. But it's not. The person doing it sits beside ou, rather than at your bottom end, and it's all talked through. It was like a biology lesson more than anything and so I found it really interesting!
I did cry a bit, so DH and I are going to have a few more cuts and relaxation time before we give it a go.
You can also do it on your own and it teaches you how to do it so thats good to know too.

I will chat with my MW about it Lo tho. About what would happen if I tear, how it would be treated etc etc
But overall just voicing the fear to DH really wiped most of it away!

As far as breastfeeding goes- I can't wait to do it!!! I have been doing a lot of reading on it, and my only concern Iis positioning. I have an extremely weak left arm (have broken it about 4 times!) so feeding in a cradling position on my right side won't be possible, so will have to look at a football hold etc instead but that's not bad.. But no abuse stuff has one up (yet) and I don't know if any will? Just take it as it comes like I said, most of the fear is wiped away once I figure out what it exactly is and thn voice it. Phewf

[nhklh]

Glad things are going well travelmumma :)

I SAW baby movement tonight!

[Harmony96]

Originally Posted by travelmumma 

As far as breastfeeding goes- I can't wait to do it!!! I have been doing a lot of reading on it, and my only concern Iis positioning. I have an extremely weak left arm (have broken it about 4 times!) so feeding in a cradling position on my right side won't be possible, so will have to look at a football hold etc instead but that's not bad.. But no abuse stuff has one up (yet) and I don't know if any will? Just take it as it comes like I said, most of the fear is wiped away once I figure out what it exactly is and thn voice it. Phewf

I'm so glad you had a good talk with your DH and MW. ((hugs))

For breastfeeding, there's another hold called the "cross cradle" hold, where baby is across your tummy, but you just use your other arm. I think it's in the cradle hold that you have baby's bottom in your elbow and head in your hand, and then the cross cradle where the baby is on the same side but his head is in your elbow and his bottom is in your hands. Or maybe it's the other way around, lol. There's also side-lying, where both of you are laying in bed next to each other, and with the "growth" that you've had up top, it might be possible to nurse from either breast while still laying on one side, by just changing the angle that you're laying.

Originally Posted by nhklh 

I SAW baby movement tonight!

Ohhh that is my favorite! Big lumps and little lumps moving across my tummy.

[kaliki_kila]

Originally Posted by travelmumma 

As far as breastfeeding goes- I can't wait to do it!!! I have been doing a lot of reading on it, and my only concern Iis positioning. I have an extremely weak left arm (have broken it about 4 times!) so feeding in a cradling position on my right side won't be possible, so will have to look at a football hold etc instead but that's not bad.. But no abuse stuff has one up (yet) and I don't know if any will? Just take it as it comes like I said, most of the fear is wiped away once I figure out what it exactly is and thn voice it. Phewf

I just read a book called Breastfeeding Made Simple.  They talk about how the best way to breastfeeding is actually reclined or laid-back breastfeeding.  The baby is laying on top of you with the full weight of the baby's chest, abdomen, and legs resting against you.  This way all of the receptors in the baby's body that encourage sucking are activated.  The baby latches on and feeds while you have your hands/arms completely free.  Of course, I have never breastfed because it is my first baby, but this book was so reassuring.  I have read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, and personally it made me more anxious and left me with more questions than anything else so I am so happy to have found this book.  The book also talks about how breastfeeding is a relationship of responsiveness between you and your baby and not a checklist of correct positioning and latch techniques where you end up in an uncomfortable position trying to feed your baby.  I like the idea of having my hands free to stroke and touch my baby while he is feeding.

http://www.breastfeedingmadesimple.com/

[zebrachick83]

With my first, I didn't realize I was in labor because the contractions felt like my BH's and they were really irregular - every 7 minutes, then every 5 minutes, then every 9 minutes. Then they suddenly became 4 minutes apart. 30 minutes later, they were 2 minutes apart and we were on the way to the hospital.  With our second and third pregnancies, though, I knew I was in labor because the contractions got progressively stronger and I felt them deeper - kind of like they were happening from front to back rather than just the front of my uterus tightening. BH's have been going on with this one since about four months, so I'm expecting an earlier delivery this time around.