So.. Do you make your kids clean their room? - Page 2

[spughy]

Originally Posted by IdentityCrisisMama 

Ha! We have this issue at home too. DC keeps her room FAR neater than her standards for the rest of the house. Most days, I'm just happy to have a kid with a clean room but other days we have talks about her doing a better job with the rest of the house. But, part of why I don't come down on her for that is because we ALL tend to leave the rest of the house pretty messy. Sometimes I'm tempted to gripe about the number of DC (or DH's) shoes in the living room...till I do a count and realize that I've got a few pairs of my own. 

Yes I'm not entirely innocent either :)  It's very, very hard to cultivate tidy children when one is not naturally tidy one's self.  On my own, I am actually fairly good - but I find that tidying up other peoples' messes (*cough* DH *cough*) to be mentally draining.  Where do I put things? Where does he want them? How do I keep track of things in my head so if I put them away they're not "lost"?  Occasionally I'll just collect everything up and dump it in his office, but that usually backfires because he just shunts everything back out into the hallway, which creates a bit of a fire hazard for exiting DD's room :( 

The problem is that DH works long hours, and he does a ton of stuff around the house in terms of renos and fixing things.  His time priorities aren't my time priorities though. 

Anyway, total digression - the point being, it's really hard to get DD to clean up her stuff when she's got poor role models asking her to do it.  HOWEVER I did find a partial solution this weekend - I invite my sister over, have her sit on the couch, and THEN ask DD to tidy stuff up.  All of a sudden she's more interested in looking good for Auntie Rachel than arguing tidying strategy with me, and bam! we can see the coffee table again.  Good thing Auntie Rachel lives in the same city as me now!

[IdentityCrisisMama]

Originally Posted by spughy 

All of a sudden she's more interested in looking good for Auntie Rachel than arguing tidying strategy with me, and bam! we can see the coffee table again.  Good thing Auntie Rachel lives in the same city as me now!

Ah...the old "have guests" angle. Yes, I am very familiar. 

[nextcommercial]

I didn't, and my daughter is the messiest adult in the entire world.  I don't think she can ever have a room mate at this point... she's that messy.  

I with i'd instilled that in her when she was little.  But, it was easier not to fight with her.

[JamieCatheryn]

Until age 5 or 6 I go clean with them, it's the only way to keep them on task until it is done and prevent it becoming a fight. We're living in a very small space right now so every day they need to pick up their toys in the house and in their room. In our old house, he playroom was allowed to become a disaster for days at a time, it was out of the way. Bedrooms had to stay tidy-ish though.

[SweetSilver]

Originally Posted by nextcommercial 

I didn't, and my daughter is the messiest adult in the entire world.  I don't think she can ever have a room mate at this point... she's that messy.  

I with i'd instilled that in her when she was little.  But, it was easier not to fight with her.

My parents did... or tried.... and I'm still pretty messy.  My sister is a neat freak, and my other sister is somewhere between neat freak, in-the-middle or catastrophe, depending on her schedule.  We all know how to clean, but not all of us choose to.

I doubt it was you!

[meemee]

Originally Posted by SweetSilver 

My parents did... or tried.... and I'm still pretty messy.  My sister is a neat freak, and my other sister is somewhere between neat freak, in-the-middle or catastrophe, depending on her schedule.  We all know how to clean, but not all of us choose to.

I doubt it was you!

Nextcommercial - I agree with SweetSilver. ditto here. my parents tried. but even today its a struggle. i am super messy. however dd on the other hand is a neat freak.

[pisceanmomma]

This is why I love coming to the mothering forum.  My DD age 4 doesn't clean as enthusiastically as I'd like.  Talking to a dad at her preschool had me all upset, apparently his daughter cleans everything she gets out, never leaves a mess for any reason.  He simply explained to her it was his house and his rules and that worked, from that day forward no mess was ever made.  It's so reassuring to know there are other moms out there going through the exact same thing I am.  I felt like such a softie, having never made an absolute rule like that.  It honestly is so much easier for me to pick up after her, but we're slowly working some tidying skills in.  

[meemee]

Originally Posted by pisceanmomma 

This is why I love coming to the mothering forum.  My DD age 4 doesn't clean as enthusiastically as I'd like.  Talking to a dad at her preschool had me all upset, apparently his daughter cleans everything she gets out, never leaves a mess for any reason.  He simply explained to her it was his house and his rules and that worked, from that day forward no mess was ever made.  It's so reassuring to know there are other moms out there going through the exact same thing I am.  I felt like such a softie, having never made an absolute rule like that.  It honestly is so much easier for me to pick up after her, but we're slowly working some tidying skills in.  

 that's the way dd was at her dad's house. she was just too scared to be grounded so she complied. and ex limited the number of toys so it wouldnt be such a mess. i think men in general are v. strict and children sense that and behave accordingly. dd was the opposite and still is at my place. but when things get out of hand, she does it willingly instead of worrying about being punished. she has been grounded so much that when i tried it for the first time at 10 years old it didnt really even work. actually punishment didnt in general.

so be a softie but with clear limits. 

[tiqa]

I'm pretty strict about keeping things clean.  Now... the house never IS really clean because we're all home every day and things just get messy.  But every day we have clean up time.  Even if 15 minutes afterwards it's messy again, at least it's tidy for 15 minutes. :)

We have a playroom that is next to DH's room, and he lets them play there while I work.  They make a mess of it, and he sometimes makes them clean it up, sometimes not.  We rotate toys so they don't have TOO many things out at once, but they have their play kitchen, Lego's, dress up box, and Matchbox/train collection down there... so really, it just has to be sorted into those four bins and that's it.

Their ROOMS have minimal toys out at once.  I keep most stuff away in bins in the closet and they can have one toy at a time (roughly).  Like, they can have their musical instruments down.. or pattern blocks... or Barbies... or puzzles... or Play Doh... but not all at once.  Other than that, they both have some books in their rooms, DD has some stuffies and dolls, DS has a drawer full of "treasure" that he's collected up in various places, some marbles.  Both have some toy animals.  They're really not hard to keep clean.  So yes... I expect everything to be tidy, at least at the ends of the day.  We don't do food or drink upstairs, and clothes go in the washer or closet when we take them off.

Do toys still end up here and there and everywhere?  Do DD's clothes end up everywhere?  Yes... but yes, if I see it, I will have them take it to the right place.  (Right now they're already in bed and the house IS a mess... but we'll do yet another cleanup in the morning... it's never ending.  Gah.)

[MrsBone]

Just thought I'd update. I've started a new rhythm to the day which includes making beds in the morning and cleaning up before bed, and its working well!! He has only a few toys in his room and a couple books, so most of the clean up is the playroom, but he knows in the morning that he has to brush his teeth, get dressed, make his bed and eat breakfast before playing and we've just sort of made it a rule and he's doing great! Thanks for the tips!

[ananas]

My baby isn't here yet, but I plan on teaching her to keep her room/space clean as soon as it is age appropriate. Even a young toddler can understand the concept and help to put toys back in the basket. At 4, I think most children would be able to put their own toys away, put dirty clothes in the hamper, put books back on the shelf, etc...

[ilovemygirl]

I have a 5.5 y/o. She has to put away ALL the toys in the family room every night. She has a separate little area in the dining room for crafts and such. I expect her to keep that reasonably organized but it's always a bit messy. She can keep her room however she wants but it's with the understanding that when I need to actually clean it -dust and vacuum- that she has to put everything away and also that if she loses or breaks something because of messiness it will not be replaced. I do have a very hard rule that clothes are never ever to be anywhere but in the drawers, closet or hamper.

She also helps with other chores like laundry, putting away the dishes and she's just learning how to sweep.

[Artichokie]

my kiddos straighten their room every evening.