16 mos, goes when I ask, but won't sit on the potty, please help!

[mom2beAB]

I'm sorry I'm not sure if this falls under the EC category or potty training, but with my daughter being on the younger side, I figured I should start here because we have the communication barrier that I didn't quite have with my son when he was almost 2.

Basically a week or two ago while changing my dd's diaper (I knew she had to poop more) I asked her to go and she did, so kept doing that for several days in a row and discovered that she would to when I asked her to. However she didn't want to use the potty so I didn't try or several more days.

The night before last, I knew she had to pee, so I got her to sit (made a big happy deal about it) and she peed on the potty! Then she did it a few more times yesterday morning, however since then she's been really apprehensive about sitting on it and fights to get off, so she keeps wetting her diaper. So I'm not sure what to do, I can't put her on it often so she knows not to go into her diaper because she doesn't want to sit on it. She'll sit for a few seconds and doesn't really try to go. If I get her off and ask her to go, she'll pee on the floor, or she'll pee on her changing table.

I don't know what to do, I don't want to screw this up! Is it better to stop for  Please help!!!

[Carlyle]

How old is your daughter (it sounds like she's a bit over a year?)?  I wouldn't make a big deal about it with her if she's fighting to get off.  I might start with just dialog about the potty.  If you know when she has to pee, you could say "it looks like you have to pee, do you want to pee in your diaper or try the potty?" and then be totally fine if she pees in her diaper.  "Ahhh, that feels better to let the pee out, doesn't it.  let's get you changed so that you're dry." and move on.  This takes the "pressure" off...she can see how excited you are about the potty, and maybe that feels like too much pressure for her (even if you're not trying to pressure her).  But by offering her the choice of where to go, you're letting her know that she can pee on the potty if she wants to.  You can even talk occasionally about "when you're ready, you'll start peeing and pooping on the potty just like the rest of the family does.  Then you won't have to wear diapers anymore, which is pretty comfortable."  I've had most success with both my kids when I'm not attached to WHERE the pee goes, and I just focus on the communication end of things.  Easy to say, but not as easy to do!  But I think it's one of the most important parts of EC!
 

Also, for what it's worth, I think teaching your kid to be aware of their pee/poop is a HUGE step towards potty training.  Even if it still ends up in the diaper.

[mom2beAB]

Thank you so much for your reply! Since I posted this, like magic she all of a sudden became comfortable with sitting on the potty—so we've got over that hurdle thankfully—AND she goes any time I ask (sometimes too soon, I had her in undies this am and she was dry, but as soon as I said "do you want to go use the potty?" she peed before I got her there!)... so I *think* we're off to a really good start, however I'm unsure how to get from her going on command, to knowing that she needs to go on the potty (and we haven't been able to poop on the potty yet, which I never had to teach, my son did that automatically thank goodness!). And I have been constantly talking to her about how we put our pee and poop in the potty and stay dry... so maybe I'm headed in the right direction, I just worry that she's going to get in the habit of just going when I tell her to but keep going in her diaper any other time? At least she IS signing diaper every time she poops now, again, I know that's a big step, but I'm just so unsure of how to get her to the next step!

Originally Posted by Carlyle 

How old is your daughter (it sounds like she's a bit over a year?)?  I wouldn't make a big deal about it with her if she's fighting to get off.  I might start with just dialog about the potty.  If you know when she has to pee, you could say "it looks like you have to pee, do you want to pee in your diaper or try the potty?" and then be totally fine if she pees in her diaper.  "Ahhh, that feels better to let the pee out, doesn't it.  let's get you changed so that you're dry." and move on.  This takes the "pressure" off...she can see how excited you are about the potty, and maybe that feels like too much pressure for her (even if you're not trying to pressure her).  But by offering her the choice of where to go, you're letting her know that she can pee on the potty if she wants to.  You can even talk occasionally about "when you're ready, you'll start peeing and pooping on the potty just like the rest of the family does.  Then you won't have to wear diapers anymore, which is pretty comfortable."  I've had most success with both my kids when I'm not attached to WHERE the pee goes, and I just focus on the communication end of things.  Easy to say, but not as easy to do!  But I think it's one of the most important parts of EC!
 

Also, for what it's worth, I think teaching your kid to be aware of their pee/poop is a HUGE step towards potty training.  Even if it still ends up in the diaper.