I had my OB appt today and we set the date for my section. It may change because of some family issues but otherwise woah-- it is real. It is only 5 days before my due date.. so not bad.
A little background:
I have an auto immune disorder and am prone to life threatening swelling in the case of physical pressure. (pushing =pressure) I have limited IV access (I have a mediport in my chest that can only be accessed by a trained specialist) and have to follow an anesthesia protocol that is allergenic and forbids morphine. My first daughter was a _horrible_ induction due to complications/infection risk with my mediport at 37 weeks. I was dilated manually and it was horrible. My bradley birth classes did nothing for us except making me feel like a failure. My second birth was attended by a doula/homebirth midwife induced via castor oil at 40 weeks 1 day. I did _everything_ I could, I went to the hospital already dilated to a 4 after my water broke I think I went from a 4 and got a 9. I had an epidural at a 6 but it didn't take correctly posing its own problems. In the end my cervix swelled shut and I had an emergency c-section after my cervix swelled shut and she was posterior and stuck. My doula was a godsend and helped us feel informed once we get to the point of the csection. However due to my health and the amount of pushing I did.. my cervix tore into my uterus, they had to knock me out and I woke up alone in recovery with no baby, no husband, and no idea what happened. My daughter also has _mild_ cerebral palsy and although she had great apgars, as her mother I wonder if I would have had a section if we would not have spent the past 4 years in Phys Therapy. (for the record, neuro things the CP is unrelated but Im her Mama and I wonder)
So a csection.. omg goes against everything I believe in but it seems to be the safest for ME. My kids do okay with the whole gestation thing but birth is really hard on me. Everyone is amazed I can have babies without going into anaphalactic shock. I was told if I show up at a 9 they wont stop the birth but in order to have everyone on board -anesthesia, port care, plasma should I need it, nurse that respect my physical limits (can not have an automatic blood pressure cuff) and hard surfaces (like stirrups) have to be padded, etc.. scheduling is the way to go. Everyone I has talked to said a scheduled csection is so much easier than an emergency one. I could fight and fight and go for a vbac to only end in another section and the lingering "what if I swell shut again and I create a baby with cerebral palsy".
We will have the same doula with us as before and she thinks my goal of "knowing I had a baby and remembering birth" is a good goal :) and making peace with all of this is an okay thing.
So Congrats to me.. and woo woo.. I am 24 weeks and 2 days. It is coming ladies.. woah we will be mommy's!
Any words of wisdom?