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Mothering › Groups › February 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › *hugh risk mama* Got my date.. 1/29/13 1:00 pm.. huge mixed feelings but woah it is real

*hugh risk mama* Got my date.. 1/29/13 1:00 pm.. huge mixed feelings but woah it is real

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 

I had my OB appt today and we set the date for my section.  It may change because of some family issues but otherwise woah-- it is real.  It is only 5 days before my due date.. so not bad.

 

A little background:

I have an auto immune disorder and am prone to life threatening swelling in the case of physical pressure.  (pushing =pressure) I have limited IV access (I have a mediport in my chest that can only be accessed by a trained specialist) and have to follow an anesthesia protocol that is allergenic and forbids morphine.  My first daughter was a _horrible_ induction due to complications/infection risk with my mediport at 37 weeks.  I was dilated manually and it was horrible.  My bradley birth classes did nothing for us except making me feel like a failure.   My second birth was attended by a doula/homebirth midwife induced via castor oil at 40 weeks 1 day.  I did _everything_ I could, I went to the hospital already dilated to a 4  after my water broke  I think I went from  a 4 and got a 9.   I had an epidural at a 6 but it didn't take correctly posing its own problems.  In the end my cervix swelled shut and I had an emergency c-section after my cervix swelled shut and she was posterior and stuck.  My doula was a godsend and helped us feel informed once we get to the point of the csection.  However due to my health and the amount of pushing I did.. my cervix tore into my uterus, they had to knock me out and I woke up alone in recovery with no baby, no husband, and no idea what happened.  My daughter also has _mild_ cerebral palsy and although she had great apgars, as her mother I wonder if I would have had a section if we would not have spent the past 4 years in Phys Therapy.  (for the record, neuro things the CP is unrelated but Im her Mama and I wonder)

 

So a csection.. omg goes against everything I believe in but it seems to be the safest for ME.  My kids do okay with the whole gestation thing but birth is really hard on me.  Everyone is amazed I can have babies without going into anaphalactic shock.   I was told if I show up at a 9 they wont stop the birth but in order to have everyone on board -anesthesia, port care, plasma should I need it, nurse that respect my physical limits (can not have an automatic blood pressure cuff) and hard surfaces (like stirrups) have to be padded, etc.. scheduling is the way to go.   Everyone I has talked to said a scheduled csection is so much easier than an emergency one.   I could fight and fight and go for a vbac to only end in another section and the lingering "what if I swell shut again and I create a baby with cerebral palsy". 

 

We will have the same doula with us as before and she thinks my goal of "knowing I had a baby and remembering birth" is a good goal :) and making peace with all of this is an okay thing.

 

So Congrats to me.. and woo woo.. I am 24 weeks and 2 days.  It is coming  ladies.. woah we will be mommy's!

 

 

Any words of wisdom?

post #2 of 9

No advice, just hugs.  Sounds like two scary births and a planned section would most likely be the way I would go in your situation.  I have read some great 'natural' c-section stories on this site.... something about low lighting, music playing, delayed cord cutting other things that I can't remember now, but really made the situation sound so much less traumatic...

 

Anyways, perhaps focus on making a great birth plan that includes the c-section, but also all the other things you want to make sure happen... 

post #3 of 9

I have not been there, but I think doing what's right for you and your baby is always the best thing!

 

At the hospital where I plan to deliver, they have a policy of giving you skin-to-skin contact w/ your baby as soon as the c-section is over or as soon as possible if the baby has other urgent needs first. Maybe check if your hospital has such a policy or if not, can you request it? I know that's given me comfort as I'm planning a hospital birth and know the policies on delivering twins & how I have an increased chance of a c-section. For me, knowing they have the skin-to-skin policy and are pro-BF has put me at ease for whatever happens.
 

post #4 of 9

In your sitch I would schedule a c-section and try to be at peace. It's amazing that your body (and all of our bodies) can grow babies and that's a very powerful thing. If it's safest for you and baby to have a c-section to get the baby out then so be it. It's great you'll have the same doula-- she seems very supportive.

post #5 of 9

Sounds like you have a great plan and a good team there to support you and that is just awesome.  

A good plan and good support is really all each of us have at this point, and with those things in place we can all walk around with less anxiety about the birthing day.

woohoo! for getting closer to our big days, no matter what form they may take.  :)

post #6 of 9

wow! that date makes it seem really real and so soon!!  it sounds like you have a great plan, the best thing for your body and your baby - and you are going into it so prepared and supported, that is what we all need anyway :) 

 

with the holidays coming up, i just know these babies are going to sneak up on us!!

post #7 of 9

I can see why you are having mixed feeling, with all the buzz on natural vaginal birth.  I know it doesn't help when you hear things like "at least you have a healthy baby and you're ok".  Not having a natural birth can be hard.  Trying to come to peace with your choice might be easier if it is planned, I agree with that.  My sister had an emergency c-section and it caused her lots of problems, failure/trouble in trying to bond, postpartum depression. She basically felt like a failure.  I wish you lots of positive healing energy in coming to terms with your birth.  Also if I were in your shoes I wouldn't hesitate to schedule a c-section myself, knowing that it might be the safest and healthiest way to birth. 

post #8 of 9

I wish you a smooth delivery, and peace of mind leading up to the date, mama. You have been through a lot! I think you are very brave. stillheart.gif

post #9 of 9

Sounds like you have alot to be concerned about.  Don't be upset about the section, sometimes we have to do what's best for baby and our bodies.  Praying you have a safe delivery!

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