Please... Just make her poop in the potty! - Page 2

[pamplona]

"I've never met a kid who enjoyed having poop in their underwear.  I know several who don't care about a poopy diaper though.

Get a pack of some super special character panties that she really loves, and get a pack of some super boring white panties.  If she poops in her character panties, have her throw them away.   She needs to know it's just not acceptable to poop in your pants.  Have her put on some white panties, and she can try with some new character panties after nap, dinner, whatever.  This was a really good motivator for my kids."

Just had to reply to this part of your post. There are plenty of kids who don't give a crap (no pun intended) whether they poop in underwear or in a diaper - my DD included. We have special character panties that my DD loves that she can wear as a reward for pooping in the potty. Glad that helped with your kids, and wish it worked for my DD, but that hasn't been the case, unfortunately.

[pamplona]

"Have you tried the technique of telling her she's got to poop in the bathroom? I've heard that can be a first step for some who are adamant about pooping their pants. The idea is that you get them used to the idea of pooping in the bathroom first, then gradually, get them to poop on the potty. So if you see her pooping her pants tell her she's got to do it in the bathroom."

@ Dejagurw - thanks for the great suggestion, but hasn't worked for DD, unfortunately. She will only poop in the bathroom or the potty on her own terms. Think she's just one of those kids who will poop train when she poop trains, regardless of mommy's attempts at nudging her.  :)
 

[Oliver'sMom]

So sorry you guys are having such a rough time!

I hope I didn't offend you with my post.  Just because I've never met a kid who enjoys poop in their panties, doesn't mean they don't exist!

Does she tell you when she has pooped her pants, or do you have to find out for yourself?  Either way, I would calmly take her to the bathroom, have her help you dump the poop into the toilet.  Tell her, "poop goes in the potty, not in our pants."  Then throw the underwear away, pop her in the tub, and move on. 

I know a lot of people will say to just put her back in diapers, but I personally believe that will just make things harder for you down the road.  She needs to know that pooping in her pants is just not going to happen anymore.  Just try to be consistent, calm and understanding, but at no costs would I let her poop in a diaper again!  That's just me though :)

Good luck!

[pamplona]

sorry if i came across as huffy. :)  sometimes it's just frustrating when you want to find a solution, and others' suggestions sound really good, but just don't happen to work with your kiddo.  i really appreciate the suggestions, though!  :)

unfortunately, DD loves to check out her poop in every possible way, so asking her to help clean is a reward rather than a punishment for pooping in her underwear. i kept her in underwear for several weeks, and cleaned up poopy underwear at least a couple times a day - no dice.

we've actually just recently had good results by (believe it or not) putting her back in diapers. she always pees in the potty 100% of the time whether wearing diapers or underwear, so it's not going backwards for her.  i think a few days without underwear (which she likes wearing) combined with reading a cute book specifically about pooping actually motivated her to change her behavior.  so she's almost exclusively pooped in the potty the last couple of days.  her rewards are stickers and getting to wear underwear again.

fingers crossed things keep going this direction.  so funny how polar opposite techniques, etc can work for different kids, no?  parenting is quite the detective case sometimes.  :)
 

[Oliver'sMom]

Yay!  Glad to hear things are heading in the right direction again!

You are the mom, and you know your daughter better than anyone else in the world.  Sounds like you're doing a fantastic job!  I know how extremely frustrating it is cleaning poop up everyday with no end in sight.  My oldest son reverted big time when his little brother was born.  Super high stress!

I think using underwear as the reward and reading lots of books about pooping in the toilet sounds like a great approach.  Keep us posted and happy pottying :)
 

[BlueWolf]

We have had more success. My DD has pooped in the potty now twice without prompting. I'm so proud of her!! 

[zannster]

So how are your poop-resistant little girls doing? What ended up working the best?

I'm in a similar scenario with my nearly 3 year old. We started potty training about two weeks ago, entirely with underwear. She's probably 75-80% there with regards to peeing (no wet underwear for two days now!). She managed to have two successful poops in the potty, but it didn't get us "over the hurdle" either. Most of the time, she doesn't seem to notice when she has to go. She's a little grossed out and unhappy about cleaning the messes - yet this doesn't seem to have any effect the next time.

Unlike a lot of resistant cases, she isn't constipated. She doesn't hold it (much). She doesn't have any desire to hide or poop in diapers (though she has said a couple of times that she doesn't want to poop in the potty - at which point I tell her that she should try, because we don't poop in underwear). The pattern we're getting here is a few small, messy poops before the real thing. I wonder if the fact that she's still nursing is detrimental to having regular formed stools. If so, should I try feeding her foods that might move things in the other direction?? Obviously I don't want her to get constipated.

[velveeta]

I started reading this thread bc my almost 3 yo DD is also in this club. She can become constipated bc of holding it, but also, my other 2 kids have food intolerances, so I'm sure she does, too. I do give her culturelle twice daily, which usually helps her be regular. My big issue is that she poops standing straight up, which is a terrible way to poop! You can't eliminate completely, and her poops tend to be attenuated. :-(

I am 7 months pregnant, so I really want to get over this hurdle! She prefers to pee in the big potty. We have a squatty potty stool so her legs don't dangle, and she can do it 100% by herself. She does hide to poop, and when I see her go behind the curtains, I just pop in with one of her little bb potties and invite her to poop in there, and sometimes, she does.

Honestly, my middle boy had encopresis for the longest time, and so I am just glad when everyone pops daily! But, I am sick of cleaning up day after day... I think she's also regressing a lot bc of concern over a new baby...

[skycheattraffic]

I wouldn't "firm her up" since it could potentially backfire and you don't want to add constipation into the mix. If you do notice that something just goes right through her that's different though. How runny is her poop? Something like a thick soup is hard to feel and control but something more like hummus is normal and is dense enough to clearly feel/control for most people. Two weeks is a very short window in potty training and she may simply need more practice. Remember that for close to three years she could pretty much tune out these sensations and has only recently started paying close attention. I would give it another couple of weeks and see how she does.

[zannster]

I don't think it's soupy. It's often not much more than a smear on her underwear though. I wonder if sometimes she starts and then forces it to stop. It also seems really dark, which concerns me a little.

True, we haven't been doing this long. My son was four when he PT, and he got it almost immediately, so this mess is just frustrating. Bleh.

[pamplona]

Mine has had major regression since I posted earlier in the thread. While she had been 100% pee trained for a few months and partially poop trained, she now pees and poops in her pull up much of the time. Underwear doesn't help - she just pees and poops in it, and couldn't care less. And having her help clean wet/poopy underwear doesn't help her either.

The only thing that works for her is having her naked from the waist down, which I do whenever we're home. Then she's 100% for putting pee and poop in the potty - luckily, she does not like to void on the floor.

For her, it's just going to take time, and I've mostly accepted that things will have to be entirely on her schedule rather than even remotely on mine.

We've tried every type of incentive (mostly positive and a bit negative), and every other type of trick I've ever read about on here and other resources. She has been physically ready to be 100% potty trained for months, but is obviously not mentally ready. DD is a super spirited kiddo in every sense, and this is just par for our course.

So my current strategy is keeping her bottom naked while at home, giving a smattering of matter-of-fact of praise when she goes potty, and keeping my mouth shut about anything potty related at other times. Frustrating, but it will happen eventually.

[rinap]

Have you tried pants without underwear? That will feel less like a diaper/pull up without making you stay home.
 

[pamplona]

She is happy to pee or poop in pants w/o underwear, unfortunately. Only a buck naked bottom makes her prefer the potty these days. Thanks for the good suggestion, though!

[Quinalla]

Following this thread as DD (3 as of November) does not want to poop in the potty either. She has pooped once in the potty completely and a handful of times she started pooping in a pull-up and finished on the potty. Mostly I've been trying to be chill about it with gentle reminders, offering rewards (which worked great for peeing), and taking her to the potty when she shows signs of needing to poop. Maybe I will try to get her to poop in the bathroom, even if it is in her pull-up, that might be a good way to get her used to it, because she always wants to go hide in her poop hiding spots and be by herself, so if I could that habit changed to going to the bathroom, the potty might not be far off. My Mom informed me I also did not like pooping in the potty, so I guess she comes by it honestly. It is starting to annoy me as I am sure she knows when poop is coming, but I am trying to keep that to myself (and DH). She is so stubborn I worry about trying to push it too much, I dunno, bleh!

[skycheattraffic]

Quinalla, you could try taking her to the bathroom when she's about to poop and then giving her privacy. Step outside the door and close the door (maybe not latch it, but close it 90% of the way). Maybe this will help make the bathroom her "poop place" and once it's established you could work on getting the poop into the potty.

[~Adorkable~]

i really cant recommend more the book Oh Crap, Potty Training she is just amazing (and our kind of mom to boot) and has been potty training peoples kids for 12 years! thats a lot of kids. the book is just a 15 buck download and worth every penny, it has a whole huge chapter on just poop, she address a lot of what has been talked about here.

i have my 25m twins well on their way to potty trained bliss in just the last 4 days thanks to her and have really appreciated how she brings up and debunks a lot of myths and "common wisdom" her explanations make so much sense.

[sageowl]

Right there with you.  I am so over the diapers too. Being super pregnant does not help (I am sooo tired of dealing in other people's excrement...it's a sensory experience I totally do NOT want to be having right now.  And unfortunately DS will NOT let anyone but mama change him, so here we are).

I have to keep reminding myself that DS has come sooo far in just the past 6 months developmentally speaking, that the odds are good that it WILL "click" one of these days.