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Ignorant Bosses - LOOOONG RANT <sorry>

post #1 of 37
Thread Starter 

So as many of you know, I work at a jail and had a bit of an incident last week.  After the assault, I finished my shift and worked the next scheduled shift.  I emailed my supervisor and told her that I'd like to meet on Monday Oct 15 to discuss moving away from situations where this could happen again.  I had originally informed her I was pregnant in the beginning of Sept so she'd have some time to think about where I should move to.  At this time, she seemed really excited for me and we discussed several options for other assignments.  thumb.gif


I get to work on Monday and there's an email from my supervisor saying that she would require a doctor's note "explaining how you should be accommodated."  dizzy.gif  I wanted to reply "let's start with getting me somewhere where I won't be assaulted..." but didn't.  But I was mad!!  gloomy.gif  She also said that when we spoke 6 weeks ago, I had asked her not to say or do anything about it.  I replied that this was not my understanding at ALL and that she PROMISED to speak to the warden about it when he returned from hunting.  (She obviously forgot and is now backtracking.) 


She didn't reply to my email, so I emailed my union.  And then I filed a WCB report of the assault (something I hadn't previously done as I was ok - but had I known we'd end up playing hard ball, I would have gone to the hospital, just to check, taken time off, basically milked it, but that's not me.)


So the awesome lady at the Union Hall emailed me back in record time, told me to leave work immediately and sit at the hospital with a book until I could get a doctor's note.  I said that that sounded really boring and that I'd just call and try to make an appointment as soon as possible.  At first I had said I'd wait for my Midwife to return to town (she's on vacation for a week) but she really pushed me to act quickly. 


So I called the doctor's office, explained I was assaulted at work and needed to see someone, they weren't nice on the phone and told me to either go to the hospital or to call back Tuesday morning and book myself in their emergency walk in clinic.  Ok.  Not sure why she couldn't book me in at that time... banghead.gif


So on Tuesday at 08:00, I told my immediate supervisor (these supervisors rotate, he's not the one I had already talked to, but he did know I was pregnant - it was HIS supervisor I'd been talking with) that I would be calling my doctor's office when they opened at 08:30 and would be making an appointment as soon as I could since obviously just saying I was pregnant wasn't good enough to be kept safe at work.  irked.gif  He was like, "oh yeah, so now what are you going to be doing?"  I said that I didn't really care (I've come to terms with desk duty since last week) as long as I wasn't at risk.  Then he goes on about being part of the "Entitlement Generation" and how nice it must be to expect the world to bend to my needs!!  I said "I don't see it that way, I'm pregnant and just need to not be assaulted for the next 4 months."  But he continues his rant saying "I hate to see what your child will be like, and how they'll feel entitled to whatever they want."  censored.gif  WTF?!!?  And this was in front of two of my co-workers!  So then he left my unit.


I called the doctor's office, made an appointment for 13:45 and emailed my union rep to keep her update - saying I had an appointment this afternoon, but that my supervisor thinks I'm part of the "Entitlement Generation" and is concerned my offspring will be worse.  She immediately phoned me, and asked me if I was joking.  She told me to come see her after my doctor's appointment.  I agreed.


Then I went to the bathroom and cried.  Obviously.  bawling.gif  I generally only cry when I'm REALLY mad and/or frustrated.  I mean, I've worked there for over 8 years and have always done whatever was asked, I'm not one of the people who walk around feeling "entitled" to anything.


So I go to a strange doctor, he can't believe I need a note to be "kept safe" but writes one.  I think he thought I was a nut job, but whatever, I was passed caring.  I've never asked for a doctor's note in my life and found the whole thing very awkward.  He listened to the heartbeat and I'm pretty sure that was my only moment of peace during that day.  I just closed my eyes and BREATHED.  om.gif


Then I went to the Union Hall.  And barely got my story out in between fits of hysterical crying.  The lady was awesome, asked if I was crying because of the asshole at work or pregnancy hormones.  I blamed the pregnancy and we both laughed.  She told me to call in sick for the rest of my set (I have the next two sets off as vacation since my dad arrives on Saturday orngbiggrin.gif.)


She then told me to go to the Human Rights Commission since rude comments about pregnancy are against my Human Rights.  I was surprised but agreed. 


I then told my story to the nice gentleman at Human Rights (who was like a robot - NO emotion, but I think that helped, I was tapped out anyway.)  So he said I had a claim, AND recommended I add discrimination based on "age" to my harassment complaint at the Union since he was making "generation" comments.  (I'm 31 for Pete's sake - it's not like I'm 18 - what "generation" is he even talking about?!?!?) headscratch.gif


So, that's the short version of my week so far.  If you're still reading, THANKS!  flowersforyou.gif  The Respectful Workplaces Office (formally: Workplace Harassment Office) has already emailed and we have a meeting scheduled for Friday.  The odd thing, is I've been through so much at my workplace that could have gone down to Human Rights office and *this* is the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back. 


My next scheduled shift is November 11th (I think) and I'm gonna enjoy spending a few weeks with my dad, finishing my addition and puttering about. 


Whew - deep breath.  I'm sure all this stress is NOT good for the wee jellyfish greensad.gif.

post #2 of 37

What a LOAD OF censored.gifcensored.gifcensored.gifcensored.gifcensored.gifcensored.gifcensored.gif!!!!!!!!!


But thank goodness for your union.


Ooh, that nonsense really burns my biscuits!

post #3 of 37

Holy cow!!!! It sucks even more because I know you said you really like what you do! I'm really glad to hear that you have a few different offices to work with who can help make sure you get treated fairly from now on. And some people who actually had your back, even if, like the doctor, they might have thought you were a little crazy. smile.gif Yikes.


hug2.gif and flowersforyou.gif and I'm so happy you got to hear the baby's heartbeat again! That's who this is all for! smile.gif

post #4 of 37

What a crazy situation!  Poor you!

I am glad that your union is receptive.  Can you also file a grievance against your supervisor? 

hugs, and I hope things get resolved and you can have some peace of mind!!!

post #5 of 37
Thread Starter 

Thx everyone!  C. Chip - exactly!!  I've been struggling *when* to leave my job because I DO like it and kinda wish I could just do it the whole time, but I can't be selfish and risk baby's health just because I'm willing to risk mine.


Bena - yes, the Union also has a grievance in against the employer. 


Buko - it burns my biscuts, too!!!  And my nice union lady's biscuts!!!  She is VERY passionate about this type of topic (anything involving women's rights).

post #6 of 37

So glad that the Union was helpful, even though your supervisors were not.

Some people are so ignorant. I'm glad you saw a doc and filed a report, because this type of thing should not be tolerated.

I've seen entitled people in action and this is not the case at all. Enjoy your stress free time on vacation!

post #7 of 37

I work in a male dominated field, but I haven't had comments like that and no one should. Sorry it had to go as far as it did. 


Do you have any record of your previous conversations with your supervisor? They weren't by chance by email? You might want to do that in the future just to have a physical record of what was said. Or, if you have a hallway conversation regarding the pregnancy, maybe an email, "this is a summary of what we discussed. Thanks." That way if there is any doubt what was discussed, you have the email. 


I had a boss who had problems with the VP for a long time. He got to the point where he began recording meetings with an MP3 player. Made it hard for the VP to throw him under the bus in later meetings when my direct boss could play the MP3. He even told everyone at the start of the meeting that he was recording it so no one would have to take notes and would email out the file to all that attended. 

post #8 of 37

Oh wow Scruffy that's a bucketload of stress you don't need.  What crap about "entitlement generation" too - coincidentally I was listening to CBC this morning and I just caught a bit of an interview with a guy who wrote a book about managing "Gen Y" or whatever your generation is called (I fit more in Gen X, being over 40, I guess...) and he pointed out that a lot of the stuff the Gen Yers are demanding isn't stuff that shouldn't be in workplaces already.  He was talking more about transparent hierarchies and promotion policies and stuff like that but as a sane, reasonable person I would think "not being assaulted while pregnant" is just a commonsense requirement!  Glad your union is behind you on this, it sounds like your rep is awesome. 

post #9 of 37

Wow, Scruffy, wow. I am so glad you got the help you needed and that the union was there for you. I am a strong supporter of unions for just this reason. You are one tough cookie and your baby is gonna know how to stand up for him/herself just like you..."yes, I'm entitled to being treated like a human being, Thanks, a**hole." 

post #10 of 37

That's really horrible irked.gif  I can't believe he called you "entitled" simply because you don't want to be assaulted while pregnant.  I mean, c'mon, that's a very reasonable request, for heaven's sake!!  I hope you don't get anymore nonsense like this again, if you do I would definitely document it and see what you can do about it.

post #11 of 37
Thread Starter 

Melany - I have emails documenting when I originally requested the meeting to share my pregnancy news.  I also have the newest email saying that I need a doctor's note.  In retrospect, I should have emailed her after the original meeting summarizing what we discussed, but come on, how much covering of my butt should I be expected to do??  Especially since she seemed cool.  Drat!  Shoulda, woulda, coulda... shrug.gif


Here's what my doctor's note says: This patient is pregnant and should definitely avoid situation where she and her unborn baby would be in harms way.  (I couldn't have said it better myself!!)  thumb.gif  He said he wanted to add "duh" at the end.  He even picked up his pen which he had put down and put it to the paper, then put it down again and just shook his head.  What a sweetie!

post #12 of 37

Scruffy: I wouldn't have expected to have to email after a meeting with the boss, either. What a pain in the rear. Glad the doctor was helpful. 

post #13 of 37

Yeah. "Duh" would have been quite apropos. Crazy that you have to go through the union rep to be treated like a human being making a reasonable request, though. Sheesh.

post #14 of 37

Glad you're okay. I hope you can enjoy some peace and baby bonding time. Besides sticking up for yourself and your baby (entitled! - Um, yes you and your baby are entitled to not be hurt on purpose!) you are also sticking up for other women who may have felt that their grievances are trivial. Go you!

post #15 of 37
Thread Starter 

Thanks for the support - there's 2 other co-workers who are pregnant that just haven't disclosed yet, so I feel a lot of pressure to get this right so that they will be treated fairly as well.  I've contacted some of the previous employees who have been pregnant there and I'm quite surprised at their stories.  Apparently I should stop taking this personally!!  They've all had to produce multiple doctor's notes to be kept at a desk and have had to fight the whole way!  I had no idea!  Oh well, if nothing else, I'll pave a new path.

post #16 of 37

wow... just wow.  What a frustrating situation!  I am sure glad you have a stellar union rep and saw a doctor with a good dose of common sense and sense of humor.  Have a wonderful vacation visiting with your dad...  And YEAY! for hearing baby's heartbeat!!! :D

post #17 of 37

That is just, omg, I just so spitting mad for you!  I'm glad you're getting somewhere with it.  Perhaps privately suggest to the others about the email and summary thing so they have less troubles?  But, yay for vacation with your dad.  Enjoy your relaxation time.  Entitled my a$$...

post #18 of 37

Wow... just reading this now.  I am so proud of you for standing up for your baby.  And that union lady is awesome!!!   Keep us posted, this is a riveting story!!!

post #19 of 37

Good for you, because you are sticking up for yourself and your baby and the other pregnant folks. I'm glad you have a few decent people on your side. Hope the situation cools down soon and rationalism prevails!

post #20 of 37
Thread Starter 

I had a meeting with the Respectful Workplaces Department (formally Workplace Harassment).  She was really nice.  Kept saying that this stress wasn't good for me or baby so everything would progress at the speed I dictated.  I thought that was very nice of them.  I did not manage to keep the tears in my head - by a long shot!!  I was a complete disaster.  But these hormones plus the frusteration of the whole situation was completely overwhelming. 


I stopped by work to drop some clothes off to DP, he saw the red eyes and wanted me to stay and chat.  He was very concerned (I've mentioned before that he's never seen me really upset.)  I said that I wasn't going to stay and chat when I was upset (especially since we work at the same place, just different jobs, so I wasn't going to hang out in the lobby of the jail with a bunch of cameras and chat about why I was upset!!!)


I think what made the waterworks really go was the Respectful Workplaces lady saying that I shouldn't have to fight this hard to stay safe and keep the baby safe.  That's when I was like, "I KNOW, right?!?!"


Anyway, I feel confident that I have a good support system thus far.  When I meet with Disability Management (who will help me with my work accommodation), the Union lady and the Respectful Workplaces lady will be coming with me.  It's a new pilot project their working on, more of an integrated case management system where we all work together.  So that seems good!!

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