Hi. I could really use some advice/help/perspective with my 3 year old son. I have no clue what is going on with him, it is like he is a completely different kid at his preschool than he is at home - and we didn't have this problem at his last preschool.
At home he is generally a really happy and pretty talkative kid. At school it seems like he completely withdraws. He speaks nonstop at home and at a conversational level, but then at school, he only says a few basic words (and even that took him a week or so to get there).We're also having an issue with potty training because he has been completely potty trained for over a month at home, but they still put him in pull-ups at school because he seems to refuse to use the potty there (even though he has only had 3 accidents at school). He has also had a few incidents with being aggressive and pulling on kids at school, whereas I have never seen that behavior from him with any other kids I have taken him around. It seems like social anxiety to me (at least the withdrawing and not talking part), but I'm worried about how it is going to impact him developmentally and he has already been at this school for a month now, so I would have hoped he would have adjusted better already.
His school sent home a referral today and I am really confused about what to do. I want to get him evaluated, but I don't know how that works because I know that he will most likely not be willing to talk to a stranger at all (or at most he will say a couple words). I actually do have a few concerns about his pronunciation that I want to get checked out, but I don't know how they would even get to that point of being able to see those concerns without him talking freely and willingly (which he still doesn't seem to be doing with his teachers after knowing them for a month). I've talked to his doctor and she told me not to be concerned at this point - as long as he talks to me conversationally and I am able to understand him. I've filled out the paperwork for the evaluation, but I'm worried about how much they will really be able to assess and help my son (or if it would more just be a drawn out practice of getting to trust someone new). I am also worried because he is a little perfectionist - so if he feels like he is being tested, he is much less likely to do or say anything that he doesn't think will come out perfectly and I worry that speech therapy might actually make him less confident in speaking, by confirming for him that there is a right and wrong way of speaking and that people are judging the way he speaks.
Sorry for rambling. All of this is a really long way of asking:
Have any of you had any experience with a child acting completely different at school than at home?
Has anyone gone through these evaluations with a stubborn child who doesn't like to perform if being tested or who doesn't speak to new people at all - despite their abilities with familiar people? If so, how did that work, and what was the evaluation like?
How would a speech therapist work with a child who has such drastic differences in speech levels in different situations?
Thank you for any help!