Would you foster in our situation? - Page 2

[Smithie]

I didn't technically "use respite" for my first foster child - we had 5-week vacation planned waaaay in advance of the placement and I was not allowed to take him out of state for that long, so I asked the workers to arrange another placement. But it ended up functioning as respite, because he came back into our house when we returned and stayed until he was placed with kin. I think it actually worked out well - although it would have been a heck of a lot better if they had just let me take him along. His mom was incarcerated, so no visitation to worry about. When my STBAS was placed with us, I was very aggressive right up front about how we were TAKING HIM WITH US ON VACATION and they complied (his mom was also incarcerated). So my advice for people now who are going on vacation is to be a squeaky wheel about how the child deserves not to be left behind and try hard to get authorization for the travel. 

For therapeutic-level kids, I think regular respite of some kind is a very good thing for everybody involved, provided that it's not a new provider every time. 

[queenjane]

with my agency, the parents have to agree to travel if its out of state, if they are getting visitation. If they were incarcerated the social worker would give permission. If the child misses visits, you would have to make them up, so the parent/child would then get extra visits each week. Luckily it wasnt an issue with my first (who wasnt having visits anyway) and with my second the parents were fine with it (i am not sure the sw really let them know they could make it an issue if they wanted)...even though it meant they couldnt spend D's second bday with him. I'd be bummed if we had to leave a child behind for a preplanned vacation just because someone wanted to be petty.
 

[LessTraveledBy]

Yes, indeed, wonderful if a child can go with.... But the sort of thing I am talking about is because short term foster parents want to be with just their family for a weekend or even a couple of weeks. A bit different.