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What do you tell your daughter about her birth? - Page 2

post #21 of 22

I've always used the phrase "needed help" also.  When I was pregnant with my son  i told him that most babies are born between the mommy's legs, and she pushes them out, like when we go to the bathroom.  That I tried and tired to push him out at home, but then I decided he was a little too stuck and I needed the DR to help me, so the DR helped me get him out of my belly by making a hole.  I told him I was going to try the same with his sister-- to push her out in our home, but if I needed some help then I would go to the hospital and he could come visit me the next day and push me up and down the hospital bed (seriously, this broke them tension SO WELL when he met his sister).

 

I'll tell her the same.  Most babies come out between your legs when you push, but sometimes you need some extra help and then they make a hole in your belly to help the baby come out safely.  I don't think that will make her think she can't do it.  My mom always told me birth horror stories, and I was still a HB advocate. 
 

post #22 of 22

I sympathize with the feeling of having failed, and the equal strong feeling of no-way-I-didn't-fail-no-one-fails.  Both came from the trauma and feelings that I hadn't resolved.  Probably still not completely resolved, but for the moment, they are at rest and I'm just trying to make DD's story revolve around my love for her.  I plan to tell DD the same story I tell other people now.  That she is 100% worth the effort, but I made some mistakes with her that I am trying not to repeat.  That I let her come out through my belly button, and boy was she alot of work, just like when her sibling came out the natural way, and I did it because I love her and I wanted to meet her so badly.   My mom had a natural birth with me, a CS with one sister, and natural births with all the other siblings.  She always made it sound like that was all normal, we were all worth it, but it was hard work either way!  So I always had CS in my head as this thing that you get done when you have tried everything else to get the baby out, not as any reflection on myself (that came later, after I had one of my own to work out in my head).

 

 Remember, she's a kid: the world revolves around her and how she feels, so as long as its a story about her, and how much you love her, its all good.  

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