or Connect
Mothering › Groups › May 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Second appointments and letting the cat out of the bag :)

Second appointments and letting the cat out of the bag :)

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 
We are having a homebirth with this babe (due May 5), had our 2nd appt this past week and midwife was able to hear little babes heartbeat with the Doppler. I was (am) so excited!! She was unsure if she'd be able to find it at all and she put the Doppler to my lower abdomen and, boom, there it was! 160 bpm, and we could hear the little babe moving around in there joy.gif
I'll be 12 weeks tomorrow and after hearing the heartbeat Tuesday, I'm ready to start telling everyone! I told the girls in my MOPS group this week and it was so cute cuz some of them had tears in their eyes with excitement and happiness for us (we had m/c in Feb). I'm telling people at work too. I'm a nurse anesthetist and its nice when my co-workers know so that I don't have to be super sneaky about avoiding X-ray cases and ortho cases. It feels so good to share our secret! AND, I'm finally starting to feel like this whole pregnancy is "for real". It's sad how after having a m/c, your innocence and vulnerability is pretty much gone about pregnancy.
On another good note, being nearly in the 2nd trimester means that I'm starting to have some days without nausea..... and I have TONS more energy. YAY for that joy.gif
post #2 of 21

Congrats AuNatural for all your good news!

 

We had our 2nd appointment on Friday. Heard a heartbeat, as well, and everything looks good. We will starting sharing, too. Bought a "Best Big Sister" shirt for DD to wear to school (where I work, as well). We'll probably post her picture on Facebook, too.

post #3 of 21

Yay Aunatural and Virginia!

 

DH and I had our NT ultrasound Friday afternoon.  Yup, seeing the little bean jumping around in there sure makes it real!  Actually, even just sitting in the waiting room for the u/s made it feel more real.  Baby's heartrate was about 163 and baby was measuring right on track.  We left the appointment with a reduced risk compared to the statistical risk based on maternal age, so all is well!

 

I guess I have to start telling people??  I HATE being the centre of attention and for some reason find telling people a bit uncomfortable (except for close girlfriends and complete strangers!) but I know the "centre of attention-ness" only lasts like 2 mins.  I've ordered a "big brother" t-shirt for DS, so once that gets here we'll do the big FB announcement.  

 

ETA: We have our second appointment with our midwife on Wednesday.  It'll be really good to just talk and stuff as our appointment was a bit hi-jacked last time due to the appointment before us arriving at the same time as me!  It was a mom there for a 2 week check on her babe, and she had two other littles in tow so I certainly don't blame our MW for seeing her, it just meant that we had 5 mins with our MW and 25mins with her student.

post #4 of 21

i'm feeling this coming up.. i'm nervous still because my scan isnt until thursday. I'm meeting up with my ex tommorrow to discuss everything elsewell.. i cant wait to (fingerscrossed) see everythings ok with the scan, but im very nervous about telling people still. My close friends know now, but i'm still terrified of miscarriage and also of peoples reactions. I'm excited about the scan though just hoping everythings ok.. I'm so glad you all got such wonderful results :D sounds exciting x
 

post #5 of 21

We're planning to tell on Sunday since it's our anniversary with a graphic on facebook that says "Yes. We're expecting a baby.  But it could also be a velocirapotor." and then also post the ultrasound with the caption, 'see, you can't tell for sure either.'  I was all excited but now I'm nervous.  We're going to do the second trimester screening for downs and other abnormalities instead of the NT so now I'm all nervous we'll tell people and then find out something is wrong.  With the situation with my mother I'm always a little gun shy about telling people good news and having it fall through and then having to deal with her.  I just know if something were to happen to the little monster all I'd hear for the rest of my life is how I broke grandma's heart and probably killed her when I ____ the baby.  No mom, YOU did, when YOU told her before we were ready.

post #6 of 21

Starting to tell here, told both DH's and my parents and brothers/sisters a few days ago. Also told two friends who we saw over the weekend who are also expecting (but 2 mo ahead of us), so that was fun. Everyone has been awesome, which is so nice. We are waiting to "go public" for another 2 weeks, which includes DD (even tho that kills me). I want to be a bit more in the "safe zone" by the time she knows because she will tell EVERYONE she sees. Its funny, I both can't wait for that, and at the same time totally nervous about it - was the same anticipating telling my family.

 

I am really unsure of when to tell at work. I don't think it will affect my job at all, but I just don't know when I want everybody knowing about it. My belly will probably be the decider of that, so I suppose I can just go with that...

 

I am looking forward to it feeling more real...I am SO looking forward to feeling movement, and more appointments will help too! My second is still another 3 wks away. Tick-tock...

post #7 of 21

I had my NT screen last week.  Unfortunately, there was a larger space than the doctor likes to see (I was at a perinatal specialist this time).  So we did the finger prick blood test.  That came back with an increased risk for DS based on my age, but a lower risk for other abnormalities.  But I had also done the blood draw later that day, which is more sensitive.  The results came back this morning and were negative for DS.

 

But she wants me to meet with a genetic counselor tomorrow.  Sigh....

 

Please send good thoughts!

 

ETA: so no, we still haven't told anyone.  Kind of a bummer because we saw quite a few friends this weekend.

post #8 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kate&Joey View Post

I had my NT screen last week.  Unfortunately, there was a larger space than the doctor likes to see (I was at a perinatal specialist this time).  So we did the finger prick blood test.  That came back with an increased risk for DS based on my age, but a lower risk for other abnormalities.  But I had also done the blood draw later that day, which is more sensitive.  The results came back this morning and were negative for DS.

 

But she wants me to meet with a genetic counselor tomorrow.  Sigh....

 

Please send good thoughts!

 

ETA: so no, we still haven't told anyone.  Kind of a bummer because we saw quite a few friends this weekend.

hug2.gif  Sending good thoughts your way Kate.  Is the more sensitive blood draw that you had later in the day more determinative than the earlier one?  I hope you get positive news/answers tomorrow.

post #9 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by nstewart View Post

hug2.gif  Sending good thoughts your way Kate.  Is the more sensitive blood draw that you had later in the day more determinative than the earlier one?  I hope you get positive news/answers tomorrow.

 

Yes, the blood draw is more determinative.  So it's about 99.1% certain that the baby does NOT have DS.  But the NT screen made the doctor worried about other abnormalities that the blood tests don't screen for.  I guess doing a CVS test is still a possibility, but I only have about a week before it's too late to do it.

post #10 of 21
Thread Starter 
We chose to not get the NT scan because of 2 main reasons: there are a lot of false positive results and we wouldn't terminate regardless of results.
Just wanted to remind you girls of the massive amounts of false positives that are found on the early scans. The docs make it seem so routine, but the early scan is very difficult to diagnose which is why the false results can happen so much. I'll be thinking about you and sending lots of prayers your way!
post #11 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aunaturalmama View Post

We chose to not get the NT scan because of 2 main reasons: there are a lot of false positive results and we wouldn't terminate regardless of results.
Just wanted to remind you girls of the massive amounts of false positives that are found on the early scans. The docs make it seem so routine, but the early scan is very difficult to diagnose which is why the false results can happen so much. I'll be thinking about you and sending lots of prayers your way!

The NT does not give positive or negative results.  It is only intended to determine if you have an increased or decreased probability of trisomy 21, 13 or 18 as compared to the average based on maternal age in order to determine if more extensive testing is warranted.  So it doesn't have "false positives" but I get what you mean.

 

We did have the NT for peace of mind and because I would want to know if my baby had an abnormality (as determined by more extensive testing).  I can't say whether or not I'd chose to terminate without being put in that position and without knowing more about the potential health and other issues associated with the abnormality.  But even if I didn't chose to terminate I would want to know in order to ensure the best possible care for my unborn child and to know what their needs might be at birth.  Also, I would want the chance to prepare emotionally, financially, and physically for the challenges that may lie ahead.

post #12 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aunaturalmama View Post

We chose to not get the NT scan because of 2 main reasons: there are a lot of false positive results and we wouldn't terminate regardless of results.
Just wanted to remind you girls of the massive amounts of false positives that are found on the early scans. The docs make it seem so routine, but the early scan is very difficult to diagnose which is why the false results can happen so much. I'll be thinking about you and sending lots of prayers your way!

Ditto. This is why we skipped all genetic testing, too.
post #13 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by AmandaLynnH View Post

We're planning to tell on Sunday since it's our anniversary with a graphic on facebook that says "Yes. We're expecting a baby.  But it could also be a velocirapotor." and then also post the ultrasound with the caption, 'see, you can't tell for sure either.'  I was all excited but now I'm nervous.  We're going to do the second trimester screening for downs and other abnormalities instead of the NT so now I'm all nervous we'll tell people and then find out something is wrong.  With the situation with my mother I'm always a little gun shy about telling people good news and having it fall through and then having to deal with her.  I just know if something were to happen to the little monster all I'd hear for the rest of my life is how I broke grandma's heart and probably killed her when I ____ the baby.  No mom, YOU did, when YOU told her before we were ready.

I am so wanting to steal that!  So cute!  I was thinking about something along those lines...

 

We had out 10 week appointment yesterday and meant the new OB.  Great doctor, we really like him so far.  We did an U/S, baby is measuring ahead 4 days, HR was 159.  Baby was moving and jumping like crazy.  Doctor pointed out that ll the movement shows the spinal cord is working correctly.  It was great the OB actually did the scan, not a tech.  But due to my insane anxiety about prenatal appointments (which is where I first learned that 2 of my pregnancies were going to be a late loss) my blood pressure was way high.  They took it a second time after the appointment and it was perfect.  I go back in 3 weeks for NS and all the blood work.  We are opting for genetic testing because I have lost 2 babies to defects, maternal age is high and paternal age is a bit high.  It is nice to know as much as possible ahead of time if something is wrong.  Although the blood test did nothing for my last loss with heart defects.  Sigh.  Make the best decision, move on.  Starting week 11 today.

post #14 of 21

So, I let the cat out of the bag at work today!  Told my boss just now.  He was good.  Not "excited" but nice enough. lol. I am so glad to have that over with.

post #15 of 21

I have my second appt (ditched the OB practice after they kept me on hold for 20 minutes- twice- and wanted to do every test from hell and back again for no apparent reason) at a free standing birth center on election day  :)  I'll be 10 wks 2 days. Hopefully she can hear the hb (I've seen it once already at almost 7 wks) and then I'll probably go back around 17/18 weeks for another appt an d the big u/s. 

 

as far as telling ... I have my extended fam to tell, and will probably do it on thanksgiving (day before my bday, I'll be 12 wks exactly.) not sure when I'll tell my father, since we aren't currently speaking over a parenting-related issue. my mother already knows, I'll tell my brother/sister at some point between now and thanksgiving, as well as dh's folks. 

 

and DD! we have to tell DD. there was a ton of drama at the beginning of this pg, so originally she knew and then I had to tell her when there was nothing on the u/s screen, and she was devastated. I am making myself wait til very close to 12 wks to tell her this time, because I can't put her through that again (but I will def tell her before the extended fam.) she is going to be THRILLED- just today out in the woods she told me to ask Mother Earth for a baby- and we prayed for a healthy babe together. so I'm super psyched to eventually be able to tell her.

 

but as of now, I'm only 8wks, and it still seems very surreal. I feel bloated, tired, picky, and sick, and I've seen the little peanut and it's hb, but it still just doesn't seem real- I feel like a fat lame version of myself  ;)  it'll be nice to begin feeling actually pg. 

 

I think.

post #16 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by AmandaLynnH View Post

We're planning to tell on Sunday since it's our anniversary with a graphic on facebook that says "Yes. We're expecting a baby.  But it could also be a velocirapotor." and then also post the ultrasound with the caption, 'see, you can't tell for sure either.'

 

Hilarious! I would expect nothing less from you Amanda - your posts always crack me up. smile.gif

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by adventuregirl View Post

We are waiting to "go public" for another 2 weeks, which includes DD (even tho that kills me). I want to be a bit more in the "safe zone" by the time she knows because she will tell EVERYONE she sees. Its funny, I both can't wait for that, and at the same time totally nervous about it - was the same anticipating telling my family.

 

I'm the same way. I couldn't WAIT to tell DD and family, but we're telling tomorrow - 12 week mark - and now I'm nervous! What's that about?

 

Nothing too original to tell DD. I got a "Best Big Sister" t-shirt that I'm going to wrap up and give to her as a surprise present. Then I'll have the video camera set up to capture it. So excited!

 

For family, they fly in to visit us from out of town tomorrow night. We have the u/s pictures posted on the fridge and are just going to wait for them to notice. Also with the video camera set up surreptitiously. Hehe. Hopefully we don't run out of battery before they notice!

post #17 of 21

nayone have any advice on telling family when you are going to be a single mum.. i dont know how long to wait to tell family etc? i've deleted my ex from fb so at least he wont have to see updates if i do post on fb.. i mite send my dad a pic of the scan or something.. but i think i should maybe tell him in person? im worried about telling my grampy and mums side of the family as there quite old fashioned..

post #18 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by jacquelinej View Post

I am so wanting to steal that!  So cute!  I was thinking about something along those lines...

 

 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by snozzberry View Post

 

Hilarious! I would expect nothing less from you Amanda - your posts always crack me up. smile.gif

 

 

I'm the same way. I couldn't WAIT to tell DD and family, but we're telling tomorrow - 12 week mark - and now I'm nervous! What's that about?

 

 

 

700

How's it look?  Steal away if you like!

 

And I'm with you with the nerves.  Where did that come from all of the sudden?  Oh right, my mother that's where.  Sigh.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by timesway View Post

nayone have any advice on telling family when you are going to be a single mum.. i dont know how long to wait to tell family etc? i've deleted my ex from fb so at least he wont have to see updates if i do post on fb.. i mite send my dad a pic of the scan or something.. but i think i should maybe tell him in person? im worried about telling my grampy and mums side of the family as there quite old fashioned..

 

Let me preface this by saying that I speak sarcasm and dry wit fluently but if you're not a teenager you could announce it by saying at least I'm not 16 and pregnant, just single and pregnant :P

<hugs>  I know it's not that easy but I hope I brought a moment of levity to you.  If it makes you feel any better my brother had a baby with his mistress and they love it and them just as much as they did before.  And my family has some issues so I'm sure you'll be fine and it not, screw em!  If they react poorly to your news that reflects poorly on them, not you.

post #19 of 21
Amanda that is soooo funny and cute! Love it!
post #20 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by AmandaLynnH View Post

 

700

How's it look?  Steal away if you like!

 

And I'm with you with the nerves.  Where did that come from all of the sudden?  Oh right, my mother that's where.  Sigh.

 

 

Let me preface this by saying that I speak sarcasm and dry wit fluently but if you're not a teenager you could announce it by saying at least I'm not 16 and pregnant, just single and pregnant :P

<hugs>  I know it's not that easy but I hope I brought a moment of levity to you.  If it makes you feel any better my brother had a baby with his mistress and they love it and them just as much as they did before.  And my family has some issues so I'm sure you'll be fine and it not, screw em!  If they react poorly to your news that reflects poorly on them, not you.



Hahaha.. amazing.. oh god i cant believe i have a real baby

<--------------------- look.. all is good except im a bit anaemic.. i even have + blood type hoorah!!

Yes.. i mite have a heroin addict of an ex but im nearly 27 lol :P in the end i did what a friend suggested  and sent my dad a moonpig card (LOL) i hope he likes  it .. i actually think its quite cute.. and got a pic of me n him on the front saying best batdaddys..  and then inside a pic of the scan, and then become better batgrandpapas.. lol im hoping he will like it :P its a bit weird to do it that way.. but it will give him a keepsafe and allow him to fall inlove with the baby before he thinks of the complexities!! (i hope) its the mother and gramps im a bit more concerned about but my sis said to speak to my aunty and let my aunty and mum tell my gramps when i do eventaully tell my mum.. just my bro now to tell.. eeeeeps better do that around the same time dad finds out!!

How early is that scan btw amanda? such a good idea :P

  Return Home
  Back to Forum: May 2013 Due Date Club
Mothering › Groups › May 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Second appointments and letting the cat out of the bag :)