October 21 weekly thread « Back to Group Discussions

[segolilymama]

Jumping in to start the new thread again!

travemumma - I remember being PETRIFIED of tearing before DS1 was born. I wasn't scared about anything else, except that. As it was, I have had 3 babies and zero tears. Using warm oil, perineal massage, and being careful/gradual while pushing will all help avoid tears. And staying off your back, of course, but DS1 was actually born in pretty much the standard 'on your back with knees to chest' position, and I still didn't tear. I'm glad the CD you have seems helpful.

nhklh - I love that (seeing baby move through your skin) :) We call it 'baby TV' cause it's better to watch than anything on television ;)

kalika - I'm glad you found a helpful book. breastfeeding does NOT have to be complicated - for example, I have NEVER done any of those 'prepping' things some books recomend - like 'toughening up' your nipples by rubbing them with a washcloth before baby is born. And you know what? I've spent a total of TEN FULL YEARS nursing children. yes, I've dealt with many of the complications that can come along with nursing (engorgement, thrush, mastitis), but even with those, the solutions are generally simple & don't have to be that big of a deal. I appreciate how much support/help is out there for breastfeeding mamas, but it does often become quite scary when it is presented as such a complex thing!

AFM, I had a lovely night sharing my bed with DS 2 & 3 (10 & 6). DP spent the night with his buddy - it's his buddy's birthday, and they had plans to drink too much beer, watch a lot of football, go to bed, and do it all over again today. My boys & I watched a movie in bed, crashed, and got up to join the rest of the family again today. Other than getting knocked in the head about 50 times, lol, it was quite sweet - DS2 rarely has any interest in sleeping with me these days, so it was really nice.

I made the mistake of googling 'excess amniotic fluid' due to my crazy increasing measurements at my last 2 MW appointments. I'm now chanting affirmations that this baby is healthy & fine. I am just hoping that this week's measurements are a little less scary :/

[segolilymama]

Oh, and TM - just saw this over at the November group:

http://www.givingbirthnaturally.com/pushing-stage.html

I glanced over it, seems pretty good :) It's all about pushing & avoiding tearing.

[Jackies]

Hi, mammas!

kateadelle - Your wedding pics were so beautiful! It always makes my day to see people so happy to be together.

harmony96 - I changed providers last pregnancy and couldn't be happier that I did. It's your birth :)

nhklh - Your midwife sounds like a gem. Glad you guys came up with a solution that works for you.

tm - I tore last time, and the best thing about it was I didn't feel it at the time. DD had shoulder dystocia, so the midwives moved me from the stool to flat on my back on the bad for the last 10 seconds. I probably wouldn't have torn otherwise.
In the Natural Pregnancy Book I'm reading, she says having your muscles relaxed at the time is more important than preparation beforehand, so that's what I'm going to focus on this time.

Sego - DD still sleeps with us, so your story reminded me one day she will not and to come back to it must be great.

Waiting for things in the long term is quite a weakness of mine. I try to focus on the idea that waiting for the baby allows us to have plenty of time to save up money, but other than that, I'm ready to meet my new child. Not wallowing is the only thing that helps me.

Next month we can start sharing belly casts!

[zebrachick83]

Originally Posted by segolilymama 

Oh, and TM - just saw this over at the November group:

http://www.givingbirthnaturally.com/pushing-stage.html

I glanced over it, seems pretty good :) It's all about pushing & avoiding tearing.

I haven't experienced tearing myself, but the pushing stage of my last delivery was absolutely dreadful. Thanks for this link! 

[esp831]

Happy Sunday ladies!  Hope everyone is doing well...

I'm concerned about DarkBlue.  She's probably just busy, but I haven't seen any posts from her in a bit, and she always pops in on Sundays, even if someone else starts the chat.  So Kelly, hope you're ok, we miss you!

Thanks Segolily, for getting us started :)  Glad to hear you had a nice snuggling night with your boys, sounds very sweet.  My DH does the same silly stuff for his friends birthdays.  Football, beer, and slumber parties.  Certainly better than some of the alternatives for sure, but I always accuse him of spooning with his best friend.  Sorry about the googling worries, I am guilty of that myself, a lot.  I have had major growth spurts with all three of my pregnancies when they measured big, then things slowed down and they measured under, back and forth etc.  There was always talk of amniotic fluid issues, but everything turned out just fine and everyone is very healthy.  Hope your worry fades very soon!

Travelmumma-I had a small tear with DD1 BUT I was pushing on my back, with my legs held back, and the doc actually asked me to slow down so he could help prevent the tearing, and I just couldn't and pushed anyway!  Either way, I was terrified at the idea of tearing, and it was no biggie at all.  Once you have that sweet babe in your arms, nothing else matters.

Jackies-I'm so with you mama, like having time to prepare, but I'd give it all up to meet this baby!

We're having to cope with a major disappointment this week.  We're just not going to be able to afford a doula, no matter how we slice it or dice it.  DH has offered to read every single thing I want him to and be the best birth partner ever.  It's so sweet, but I still wanted that additional support, for both of us.  Since this is our last baby and a VBAC, I was really hoping for a doula and had some serious tears when I realized that it's not going to happen.  I know many in the area that will take clients on a sliding scale, but it's still too much for us at this point.  Sad, sad day.  The only thing that might make things better is if my best friend can come from Texas to act as our doula.  We're trying to make that happen, fingers crossed!!

[kel]

I've never done any of the nipple toughening or perineal massage prior to the birth.  I've never torn (midwives did use warm compresses during the birth) and as far as breast feeding goes, having the baby latch on properly is more important than anything else for avoiding nipple pain. 

[mamaharrison]

Yes, nipple toughening isn't necessary at all. It doesn't actually work and just serves to break down the delicate tissue and invite infection : ( Like Kel mentions proper latch is the best way to avoid nipple soreness, but even then it can take some time to adjust and that is just part of the process for some, not all. As far as tearing, perinium massage isn't necessary and it hasn't been shown to be effective--just a theory and if it is bothersome, physically or emotionally, to do it I would certainly skip it! A lot of tearing has to do with the physiological conditions of your personal tissue--kinda the same thing as will you get stretch marks or not--everyone's tissue does different things and you can't necessarily know yours especially not prior to any vaginal birth ever. However, mother directed pushing is often a way to avoid tears--mamas don't usually 'blow' their babes out rather they inch them out and it is kinda 1 step forward and 2 steps back through the whole canal until their head is born and it is this back and forth that prepares and stetches the perinium best. That being said, I tore because DD had a nuchal arm and the MW didn't try to assist with the presentation at all. She carved a canal through my lower vaginal wall and down my perinium and I had a second degree laceration with plenty of stitches. It sucked, but doubtful any prep work would have stopped that from happening. 

esp--have you actually contacted any doulas you would consider working with and explained our situation and asked about a cash free barter or another pro bono arrangement? It may seem awkward to do that, but it is worth it! As a massage therapist I am never offended when people are honest and ask for help and some sort of a deal. If I can't do the work I am honest, but usually I find that I am able to reach some sort of barter that works for us both. What skills can you offer for barter? Take money out of the equation!

sego--step away from Google! I had a week last pregnancy where I gained 10 lbs--seriously! 10lbs!! it was incredible. tune in with your body and your baby for the answers you seek NOT Dr. Google!

[stegenrae]

Re: tearing...I've had two precipitous births, and torn both times. I hope this one will be different, but I'm not holding my breath. With the first, I had a relatively minor traditional tear on my perineum. With the 2nd, I had a clitoral tear (what happens when you tear in *front* instead of in back. (And hey, it looks weird down there, but sensation was actually increased, so dh and I don't complain, lol.) Not to scare anyone, just saying sometimes things aren't so easily avoided, despite "perfect" knowledge (I knew what to do, what not to do, but my body and babies had different plans). I will say that I didn't realize how close to crowning I was with DS2, and was in a weird position that I think contributed to the clitoral tear...but he came SO FAST that I'm pretty certain he was tearing something on his way out, regardless. (That's not to say all precipitous births will result in tears; several friends have had them with none. See mamaharrison's note about individual tissue characteristics and physiology). I read an article a week or so ago about how kegels can actually increase likelihood of tearing because they tend to strengthen the wrong muscles in the wrong way. http://breakingmuscle.com/womens-fitness/stop-doing-kegels-real-pelvic-floor-advice-women-and-men It was a really great article and made me feel better about my weird tendency to do deep squats when picking things up and doing gardening and the like, lol. I will say that with DS1, the perineal massage was important for my physical awareness of what the perineal pressure and ring of fire really meant. Plus, it gave me a chance to practice my relaxation exercises, fwiw. But I agree that if it causes more harm than not, that it's not worth much more than that.

yes to barter, too--my mw accepts barter for partial payment from many of her clients. Unfortunately, I don't seem to have much in the way of tradeable skills. ;)

sego, I hope your appointment puts you at ease. I've known a number of women with "excess fluid" and their kids are all just fine! 

AFM, my immune system crashed with all the stress of the past couple weeks, and this cold is still kicking my ass. I thought I was feeling better after a loooong, hot bath tonight, but alas, I can't breathe now. And listening to my 7yo's hacking cough in his sleep isn't helping me feel like I'm going to get much useful rest tonight. Some other health stuff hit the fan, too, and now I'm just hoping I can get through another 8 weeks or so without complications. Hm, that sounds super-secretive/mysterious. Basically, DH's "weird pimples" at his lips were actually atypical cold sores, which we didn't know, and I had an initial genital herpes outbreak at 10w pregnant this pregnancy that lasted for.ev.er because we had no clue what it was and didn't treat it appropriately soon enough. Stress has caused a 2nd outbreak at 31/32w, but it's much milder and I got the antivirals in my system in time to help stave off a worse one. Now when I get to 36w, I need to take a single dose every day until birth to make sure I'm not having an outbreak when baby comes, or c-section becomes the likely mode of birth. And I was already easing into the Lysine, so no, that obviously wasn't enough for me. So that all pretty much sucks. 

And I'm hoping it's how I slept last night, but my hips and pelvis all of a sudden hurt like a mofo. I'm supposed to have my 32w appt tomorrow, and I may get adjusted, too. ...I was doing SO WELL up to now, and then my reflux comes back like gangbusters and my pelvis falls apart. hmph! :/

[Lilac11]

Hello all!  Hope you're all doing well.

I am starting to swell, anybody else?  My fingers are so big, even in the a.m., and I think I'm putting on water weight all over my body like I did at the end of my last pregnancy too.  Nothing dangerous or dramatic, but I'm definitely noticing it.  Otherwise my belly is so big and round, I'm loving it!

About nipples, from my experience too it's all about latch/positioning and there was no need to prep.  I did have bad nipple pain and cracked nipple skin for 4-5 days despite everyone assuring me the latch was good, and then it cleared up - not sure if there was an undetected mini problem at the beginning that disappeared on it's own, or rather that it was just normal to have pain and raw nipples for a few days??  What do you all think?

About tearing, I am not preparing for that either - even though my midwife massaged with oil during pushing, I tore a little (partly because m/w was in a rush for the baby to be born due to him not doing so well) but the stitching was seriously no big deal (I was holding my babe, it just stung a tiny bit, and no, nobody ever examined me down there until 6w pp) and yes it did take a few months to completely go back to normal.

[nhklh]

stegenrae, I hope the antiviral medication does the trick for you.  DP gets cold sores on her lips and we're both always so paranoid about it spreading to me (genitally) or the kids (orally).  I've never had a cold sore at all, and would like to keep it that way.

WIth the clitoral tear, did that affect the urethra at all?

I didn't do anything with my nipples last time, and won't this time.  They are tender enough!

[Mamabeakley]

I had another night where I couldn't sleep for several hours due to really uncomfortable hips.  I am calling the chiropractor this morning. I've avoided it for months because I know I can't afford it, but at this point, I'm not functional.  I keep waking up in the night and having to wiggle my hip around to get to the point where I can walk without a severe limp.  I will be up front with him about our financial situation and I will go into debt to pay if I have to - but it is not going to work to keep feeling this way (if he can do something about it) for another 1 - 2 months.

I've never done any nipple prep.  DS1 had a very lazy latch, was easily frustrated, and I had lots of milk that let down easily, so I had very painful nipples for about 6 weeks with him.  (Probably *could* have corrected his latch, but he was getting plenty to eat and it would have made him really cranky, and I didn't know that much about it, so I didn't).  But I don't think there was anything I could have done to prevent that prenatally.  I've also never done perineal massage, and I agree with Mamaharrison that everything I've read says it's not an evidence based practice.  I had minor tears with DS1 & DS2 - birthed in side-lying positions.  The stitches I had with DS1 didn't dissolve properly and had to be manually removed at 6 weeks pp, which sucked, but isn't normally a problem.  DS2 was born posterior and when I tore in the exact same place I decided against stitching and healed up just fine.  DD was birthed on hands and knees and anterior and I didn't tear. 

Wish me luck - DH leaves for 4 more days tonight.  I feel really down and overwhelmed by the whole thing (although not mad at him for doing it - financially, we need him to do this).  And it's harder for me to deal with because my normal coping mechanism is to get busy (in a productive way) and that's really hard to do with my pelvis all out of whack and my energy levels unpredictable and low.

[tropicana74]

Originally Posted by stegenrae 

Not to scare anyone, just saying sometimes things aren't so easily avoided, despite "perfect" knowledge (I knew what to do, what not to do, but my body and babies had different plans). I will say that I didn't realize how close to crowning I was with DS2, and was in a weird position that I think contributed to the clitoral tear...but he came SO FAST that I'm pretty certain he was tearing something on his way out, regardless. (That's not to say all precipitous births will result in tears; several friends have had them with none. See mamaharrison's note about individual tissue characteristics and physiology). 

Yes, this. ^^ DS came so fast that there was NO WAY to slow it down. I had just got to the hospital, the doctor finally walked in. I got into a squat. I pushed once, head was out. Once more and body was out....there was NOTHING I could do to slow it down. He was just ready to be born NOW (after being 2 weeks late)! 
 

Originally Posted by Mamabeakley 

 The stitches I had with DS1 didn't dissolve properly and had to be manually removed at 6 weeks pp, which sucked, but isn't normally a problem.  DS2 was born posterior and when I tore in the exact same place I decided against stitching and healed up just fine.  DD was birthed on hands and knees and anterior and I didn't tear. 

At times I seem to be short on the enzyme that is necessary to break down stitches (that's what nurses have told me). Luckily, it was not my perineal tear that I had the issue with. But years ago I had my wisdom teeth out and another time had a large mole removed from my back and both times I "spit a stitch" months later. I had a solid piece of something I could feel and when it finally came out it was a stitch!

 

[stegenrae]

Ftr, I didn't need/get stitches with either tear. (I meant to say that earlier and forgot.) Both births were with midwifery-model practices, and my current mw says she never stitches clitoral tears unless they are severe, and in that case, she refers to an ob who can use anesthetic (and loads of it!).

Nkhlh, nope, no urethra problems at all.

[phatchristy]

Originally Posted by segolilymama 

I made the mistake of googling 'excess amniotic fluid' due to my crazy increasing measurements at my last 2 MW appointments. I'm now chanting affirmations that this baby is healthy & fine. I am just hoping that this week's measurements are a little less scary :/

Do you have a tape measure?  Just like most things they do at prenatals it's fairly easy to do your own fundal height.  I usually do it with all my births here, though funny this time I haven't bothered (I think my DD's actually have my tape measure right now might have to ask them for these last 10 weeks).  

Still hovering near the end of this virus.  YUCK.  Still snotty, still coughing up phlem and all that icky stuff but on a smaller scale.  I've been sick for like 4 weeks now (actually I think at this point it's been two back to back viruses).  Doing all the things I can to help things get back into place immune system wise.  Thankfully I had one really long chunk of sleep overnight, just barely remember a few times getting up to change positions!  So overall an improvement.

You're all going to laugh at me...I'm still not in 'official' maternity clothes.  Yes, it's quite obvious I'm very pregnant.  However, I have two reasons why I haven't...they're up 'somewhere' in the attic.  AND, only DH can make it up int he attic, and with travelling and everything being so crazy busy he hasn't put aside a few hours to go up there and investigate which bags may have the clothes.  

And, I say may BECAUSE I don't know for sure they're even up there!  Unfortunately though, DH's XL elastic sports pants/shirts are about at their limit and I think I'm going to be stuck if I don't get something and soon.  Only 10 weeks to go, kind of funny but I think I can get away with like 2 pairs of shorts/pants and a couple shirts if I have to.  

On the flip side physically I feel pretty good.  Sure, I do get some typical pregnancy sensations, achy pubic bone area, sometimes some rib soreness, etc.  However I otherwise feel decent.  I was actually on a group camping trip this past weekend (figured I was well enough to go since the fog had lifted and I wasn't as depleted from the virus).  People were pretty concerned about me, but I actually walked everywhere and a lot (maybe 7 miles cumulatively on one day alone...we were far from everything about a half a milk rt to the bathrooms each time--at night I just went behind the tent LOL).  I would have thought I would be more sore and depleted than I was.  So this gives me a little hope that the end of pregnancy I'm going to be feeling pretty good.  I don't know, maybe the fact that this is #5 I should get it a little easier?  Maybe the other moms of many can tell me what they think, if the pregnancies get easier the more they have or what?  Not that I've had it easy at all overall though as I've been so sick otherwise!  

My thoughts on tearing.  I do wish I'd concentrated on it more during my first pregnancy.  First degree tear for only the first birth, did need a few stitches.  It was annoying after the birth because every so often I'd move and feel a tug.  I did have oxygen on at the end and they were really encouraging me to push.  Don't know how much of that was due to my being exhausted or what (did not get much sleep before going into labor that was one issue).  However, with the last three my body just was left to do its thing (push whenever) and no tearing.  I will say though that they thought mine was relatively minor and I don't remember being uncomfortable more than 2-3 days, I would say most midwives are fairly concerned about doing what they can to help reduce/eliminate tearing.  It's going to sound funny, but I never really thought much about the vagina while pregnant....thought more about doing what I could to have the best possible birth for baby and avoiding the cesarean.  

I can see here how sometimes a woman may not exactly know she's in real labor and then a short time labor realize 'this is it' and then pop out comes the baby!  With my first labor things seems more painful, for longer.  After that with my second I wasn't sure it was real labor or what.  By the time I was sure I had everyone called, the mw was there and DD was born within 45 minutes.  I was nearly complete when she got there...and it just seemed that things didn't get painful until just at the end.  My fourth was like that too.  I was doing what I could to encourage labor (water had broken hours before) and when I realized it had started (painful contractions) and then called the mw it was only a contraction labor that I felt baby's body move down getting ready to be born!  Well, woops?  Yes, she didn't make it there.  There were only a few painful contractions so again I thought that I would have had a lot more time, but nope!  

[segolilymama]

Thanks everyone - I know, Google is an EVIL mistress, lol. I truly believe that everything is fine, but I let curiosity get the better of me. Christy, I have about 12 tape measures (I am a seamstress afterall lol), but I wanted to wait until the appt to see if there are any changes. Also, everyone measures fundal height a little differently, so the MW's measurements compared to her last would be more accurate than comapring it to mine. Whatever. I'm big, end of story, lol.

I did have another dream of having the baby early (at 32 weeks, which is now) again last night. I am REALLY ready to make it past this point and stop having those night-time stresses!

[kel]

I'm on my fifth, too, and have had a mellow easy pregnancy so far, but that's pretty typical for me so I can't say whether it has anything to do with the number of kids.  But I definitely agree that you deserve an easy pregnancy by the fifth!;)  I haven't started feeling extra tired yet and am actually having a little breather where I need to get up less to pee in the night and am sleeping a bit better - I think because this babe is still carrying pretty high.  Due to that, I don't feel nearly as big as I usually am at 7+ months and I think I have one maternity dress and that's it.  I just wear dresses that tie under the boobs or have elastic there and tights or knee highs, and so far I'm good.  (Although some of the dresses have gotten too short as my tummy sticks out more and more.)  I have a midwife appt this afternoon and am looking forward to making sure babe is growing well - I measured 4 wks ahead, two weeks ago, but I just feel so compact this time around!  Of course, I may have another almost three months to go, so I suppose I should just be thankful! 

[phatchristy]

Originally Posted by segolilymama 

Thanks everyone - I know, Google is an EVIL mistress, lol. I truly believe that everything is fine, but I let curiosity get the better of me. Christy, I have about 12 tape measures (I am a seamstress afterall lol), but I wanted to wait until the appt to see if there are any changes. Also, everyone measures fundal height a little differently

My thoughts on that though...you know where the top of your pubic bone is... a few times even here the mws have asked me to adjust it to where my public bone was (don't know if they are concerned about pressing or what?) but sometimes doing it yourself beforehand is a little bit reassuring.  I'm sure plenty of us have known other people who have known women who have had more fluid and just birth the baby and there is a lot of fluid.  It doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong.  Didn't you say that DP is also a really big guy?  With a different father I'd think this pregnancy may be a little different, the lo could just be a little bigger than past babes.  

Everybody seems to think that I'm carrying so low.  I'm relatively tall with a long torso, so this just seems to be the way things go though.  I have some friends who are fairly short who always seem to measure ahead....I think in that case, sometimes things stick out more (if that makes sense). 

Originally Posted by kel 
I haven't started feeling extra tired yet and am actually having a little breather where I need to get up less to pee in the night and am sleeping a bit better - I think because this babe is still carrying pretty high.  Due to that, I don't feel nearly as big as I usually am at 7+ months and I think I have one maternity dress and that's it.  I just wear dresses that tie under the boobs or have elastic there and tights or knee highs, and so far I'm good.  (Although some of the dresses have gotten too short as my tummy sticks out more and more.)  I have a midwife appt this afternoon and am looking forward to making sure babe is growing well - I measured 4 wks ahead, two weeks ago, but I just feel so compact this time around!  Of course, I may have another almost three months to go, so I suppose I should just be thankful! 

Hey, I guess I'm not the only one who can stay away from the maternity clothes for most of the pregnancy LOL.  DH is on the larger side, which helps with that.  If he was thinner I wouldn't be in luck!  I just hate the feeling of anything tight around my tummy right now, and at this point most of the pants/shorts are starting to get that tight feeling.  I hope I can be back there with the good sleep myself this week.  Last night was the best in a while here for me!

One thing that is freaky...I have *no cravings* and *no hunger*.  I know it has to do with the virus I have.  I have not exactly lost weight, however the non-pregnant parts of me do look thinnner, which is weird.  Yeah, well except the boobs.  The boobs are HUGE!  I don't remember looking this thin in the non pregnant parts before during a pregnancy.  I'm doing my best to concentrate on getting what I need in my body for nutrition.  But, *usually* when I'm pregnant at this point I think I eat more quantity wise.  I'm going to avoid the halloween candy as much as I can and figure I only have another 10 weeks I can hold off from any source of empty calories.  This is my third babe due in December, and usually I tend to overeat and gain wieght during the holidays and this time I just want to be conservative and eat for health.  I like the fact that I'm looking good and feeling good about how I look right now in pregnancy.  The weight usually flies off during breastfeeding as well.  Funny as it is I have had pretty much no thoughts about breastfeeing yet.  Kind of wonder if that is going to happen the last few weeks when I do my own at home crash course refresher LOL.  Figure it's the fifth time I should know by now!

[cieloazul]

Hi ladies. Popping in real quick. I love our weekly chats/updates.

Kateadelle - Your wedding pics are stunning! Clealy it was a beautiful ceremony to bind your growing family together. Congratulations! On the placenta front, I'm still tracking that as well. I don't have the links saved (evil Dr. Google again!) but what I took away from the studies I read is that the only number that matters is how many millimeters away the placenta is from the os at 35-36 weeeks. Also, transvaginal U/S can be more accurate than transabdominal, so I will ask for that at my 35 week follow-up U/S. I also read about using a transabdominal machine to look at the placenta from a transperineal or translabial angle. One study, I can't remember in what country it took place, looked at placenta distance at 35 weeks versus final birth outcome. The C/S rate for those "trial of labor" mamas in the 10-20mm and 0-10mm ranges were like 17% and 21% respectively. That caught my eye because those stats are lower than the C/S rate for low-risk American women (2007 baseline = 26.5%; Healthy People 2020 goal = 23.9%). Point being, we still have a really, really good chance of uncomplicated vaginal births. That's what I'm holding onto. I've been visualizing the placenta moving up. Last week I got out a ruler and looked at just how small 20mm actually is. Admitedly I haven't gotten around to it, but I had the idea to transcribe that distance onto a band-aid and stick it to my belly. Writing this now, I may actually remember to do it. It sounds silly but it would probably cue me to pause and hold the vision.

Esp - Fingers crossed for you that you friend from TX canbe there as your doula. And I agree with mamaharrison about thinking in terms of bartering for a doula's services. Or are there any volunteer doula programs in your area? I'm sorry I don't remember what kind of birth environment you've chosen, but I've seen volunteer doula programs at a number of hospitals and birth centers in the different places I've lived. Wonder if there might be something liek that in your area? Alternately, could you perhaps connect with any doulas-in-training who maybe need to attend some practice births? I know someone who's training and actively looking for women who she can serve for free. Might be worth asking around in the birth-y circles where you live. No matter how it works out, sounds like you've totally scored with a really supportive DH. That's awesome. For lack of a sweeter way to phrase it, how do you plan to train him? I'd love to hear your thoughts as I'm looking for info to pass along to mine as well.

On tearing, that was a fear of mine too when DS was born. At one point I heard/felt a pop right at the top of my vagina and I thought for sure my clitoris had come off completely. Nope. He was born with not one single tear, just a couple "skid marks".  So there's another account to consider with the tear survival stories, which I find reassuring even as a 2nd time mama, thank you all for recounting them. Still, everything was kind of swollen and tender for a couple days. Ice on the bum, witch hazel, sitz baths, and a peri bottle next to the toilet all felt good. (Reminder: who's made their vodka condoms???)

AFM, not much. When I ran a monthly errand today that lady I went to see said "so I guess I'll just see you one more time before baby's here, huh?" That took me completely by surprise, but she's right :D After that I popped into a kids resale shop and found this baby outfit that I'd decided not to buy the last time I was in there on the sale rack for 50% off. Totally made my day.

[chicajones]

mamabeakly, I am so right there with you on the hip pain! I haven't woken up from it yet but every morning when I do wake up, it's terrible. I didn't even think about going to the Chiropractor, but that's a great idea. I can't apply for Medicaid until November 2nd, but I think I can go after that. I wanted to go later in pregnancy to help with positioning anyway. Hope the chiro helps you get more sleep!

Kel, 4 weeks ahead? That seems so crazy! It seems like multips would measure a bit ahead though, since after the first it seems like people get bigger so much more quickly. How did your midwife appt this afternoon go?

Re: tearing -- I am definitely scared of it. But not as much as I'm hoping to avoid being cut. I've heard conflicting things on perianal massage/stretching (my doula said that for most people it doesn't really do much of anything), but I do plan on using hot compresses and having my midwife help me push slowly (if possible) during labor.

Anyone else suddenly feeling huuuge? I went through about six outfit changes this morning before I felt like I was comfortable. I'm also getting shortness of breath and carpal tunnel. Augh! Time to get wrist supports, but they seem pretty pricey. Maybe I can make my own? :) I'm going to hit the sale rack at Target and maybe I can find some cheap maternity shirts that will help with being a little more comfy.

My midwife just had her fourth baby (home waterbirth) yesterday, and I'm so excited for her! It's also crazy because she got a new tub (Eco Mini) for this birth, and I'll be the next one to use it! I can't remember if I mentioned it or not, but DH and I decided just to rent a vacation condo for Dec and Jan so that we can still have a homebirth. I'm so, so excited about it and am looking forward to collecting supplies and getting everything ready. I've had crazy nesting urges and have been knitting up a storm, although now that carpal tunnel is showing up I don't know how long I can keep going. 

Any tips on drinking all the pregnancy/RRL tea? I'm supposed to be doing 4 cups a day which seems like a LOT. I'm thinking I should brew it like iced tea and just keep it in a pitcher in the fridge. 

I have a friend who is 2 days past her due date today, and her CNM is trying to talk her into going to the hospital on Wednesday to start Cervadil. It's so crazy how quickly they want to induce! Makes me really glad I have a midwife who doesn't pressure for induction. I'm still hoping to go early, but it makes me feel good that if I do go past a bit, I won't have to fight to avoid induction.

Ok, sorry, lots of rambling today! Hope everyone is going well!

[sunseeker]

I am 30 weeks and 80% effaced, with fingertip dilation... hmmmm.

Chica - you should be able to get some decent wrist splints at a drug store for not too expensive. You will probably have some relief if you just wear them at night. They are pretty challenging to wear all day. I am a occupational therapist/hand therapist (or was, when I was working), feel free to pm me for more info.

Re: tearing - I had a small tear with my first baby, and didn't even know it happened. The stitches were no big deal for me, and dissolved on their own.