Weekly Chat October 22-28 - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[MissE]

You ladies are all super active. I sometimes read the board, though I haven't really been following on here lately. I'm totally stressed out and super tired. My once mellow little squishy baby turned into a screamin deamon...ugh. She is one month old and has gained 4lbs in those 4 weeks which is awesome..apparently I'm making heavy cream LOL. Anyway, I'm right there with you with the grunting at night. OMG. I cannot take it anymore. It is so annoying. I put her to sleep at around 7 or 8 in the evening and she'll sleep until about 10, I feed her again, put her back (swaddled, paci in her crib, which is sidecarred) and she'll go til about 1am. Last night I was being brave and watched TV and finally wrote down her birth story. I fed her at 1 and at 2am the grunting started and would not stop until around 6am (when I had to get up anyway). No paci or swaddle will do, no change of position, holding her upright etc...NADA and it frustrates the heck out of me. At least DS (who was gruntin too) would calm down once swaddled and placed on my chest but with her..oh no..no way Jose.

She also won't take a bottle which pretty much ties me to the house in the evenings, no working out, no gym for me for a while, ugh.

She doesn't want to be carried either, she keeps standing in the meitai and her legs are too short to stick out at the sites. I don't know what to do with her. She does like her carseat though and it seems to confine her a bit more than a bouncer or whatnot. I just had her in the bouncy and she had arms and legs flying everywhere, spit out her paci and grunted again. Once I put her in the carseat she conked out. works for me, I'm just worried about posture.

I'm sorry for coming on here an whining. I'm sure it's just a phase. If she was my first it would be easy(ish) but with the other two, not so much. And my mom is still here. I don't even know how to manage everything once she's gone.

Audrie just got over pinkeye. Wonder where she got pinkeye from, nobody else had it but DD1 was/is sick and maybe she touched or kissed her, don't know. Some breastmilk in her eye did the trick. She wasn't happy about it but you gotta do, what you gotta do, right?

Relations: We don't even think about it. I usually crash out around 8pm and so does DH. With my mom being here and the language barrier I have been trying to sit with her most nights and just talk, since we can't watch TV. I guess DH feels a little left out. Anyway, my stitches are coming out and the bleeding has nearly stopped. I'm dropping about a pound a day these days, I guess that's due to the growth spurt babygirl just went through or is still gong through.

Attacking the breast: Glad to hear other babies do that too, though for us it's at night. She is the messiest eater of all my three kids so far...my goodness, little piglet. She'll also do a funny thing, before she latches she'll just likes my nipple and kinda bobs on and off the boob, licking, gumming etc until letdown and THEN she'll latch. So weird, anybody elses baby doing that? My supply is good, I have started to pump a bit but I only have like 10oz or so in the freezer, not much. DD walked in on me while pumping the other day and she seemed shocked at what she saw LOL.

[MadiMamacita]

Originally Posted by judybean 


Madimamacita-- I totally love that mei tai tute you linked to in thr last chat thread!! I really want to make one! That's the best one I've seen I think!

.

yeah i would really like to make it!

Originally Posted by Carson 

DTD, I am not 'interested' per say, but well just taking one for the team, kwim?

ugh i know what you mean. "taking one for the team" is really hard for me b/c I have a history of less than consensual sex, also DH isnt into it if i'm not, and i'm not a great actress..

Originally Posted by Worldshakerz 

Meanwhile I don't have a lot of cash to get the kind of cloth diapers I want

have you tried diaperswappers.com?

[MamanFrancaise]

 I'm not judging any other parenting styles/ways, but for me I think that when babies are little, they deserve as much of me as I can give... and for me it means breastfeeding at every feed and no bottles just for my convenience. If this means I don't get to hit the gym for months, then so be it.

 I feel the same way. 

As for sleep, I'm  almost embarrassed to admit that H is sleeping anywhere from 5-8 hours in her first stretch and only waking to eat. She's a little challenging to settle for the night, but once she is asleep, she is OUT. She does the first stretch in the cosleeper from  about 10-11 to 5 or so. Then I bring her into bed, nurse her side-lying, and we go back to sleep for 3 hours or so.

This is exactly how it is for us, too! He goes to sleep between 9-11 and then he's up once for a diaper change and to nurse for about 30 minutes then out again for 3-4 more hours. I am totally spoiled by this baby and I can't say it enough - I am really grateful and not taking a single moment for granted. 

We are done with babies, and I am very, very sad about it. Four is plenty for us, but I am sad that the being pregnant part of my life is over. And I really wish we could have another son to have more balance in our family...but that's certainly not a guarantee even if we were to have a dozen more kids! I'm really trying to appreciate H's babyhood because this is it. It's hard with other kids though. We need to decide what to do about birth control though...DH is likely going to get a vas, and we should do that now since we have a high deductible health plan. But part of me gets sick at the thought of making it *that* permanent.

I feel the same way. I could be persuaded to have another if I would be guaranteed another boy - a little brother close in age for Dexter. I actually really, really want that but I don't know if I should... perhaps we will hold off on the vasectomy in case this is something we will do. Ugh. Why am I even thinking about this?!?! No! No more babies! LOL

AFM, I think I'm coming down with a cold, too. NO! My anxiety has not let up and in fact I think it's getting worse. So I am being referred to an anxiety clinic. I'm kind of excited about that. To not be anxious all the time would be really awesome.

Bottles  - So my midwife thinks that babies will either take one or they won't and it doesn't matter when you introduce one? What does everyone think?

Baby - Had our 6 week appointment today. Dexter is 23" long, he weighs 13 lbs 8.5 oz (up 1 lb from two weeks ago!), and his head is now 16.3 inches! Love that his brain is getting all big and smart.  He is a smiling machine and has made his sisters fall on love with him all over again. He is starting to coo regularly and I can tell a laugh is just around the corner. It's amazing how fast this is going. I just want to keep him cuddly and little forever!

Group - I will start up a FB group for us all! Maybe in another week or two? 

Oh! Best.news.ever! I have one year of maternity leave (and get paid 55% of my income during this time) and will need to find daycare for when I go back to work. It is very difficult to find daycare for infants here and waiting lists are long (eg: my friend put her daughter on a waiting list while she was pregnant and just got called for an opening - her daughter is now FOUR YEARS old.) So I have Dexter on a waiting list for the only daycare I actually trust and will eventually have to start putting him on more... but anyway... if I can't find a spot for him by the time I have to return to work, my maternity leave can be extended until I find care! This is such good news. I was so scared about losing my benefits and not having any income or worse - losing my job completely.

[nukuspot]

I feel like I touched a collective nerve about my excitement regarding my gym trip. I was not trying to brag or make anyone feel bad about not going! The gym is super important to me for my mental well being. I had to cancel my membership when u was pregnant because I was so sick with HG. Being able to start going again is one of the most exciting things to me right now. I have a history of body image issues and while my body is so far from perfect, at least working out makes me feel better mentally, and I can be a better mama when I feel happy about myself.

I did the whole never giving a baby a bottle thing with DD1. This time I'm trying something new and it seems to be working. It's not like I'm just leaving the baby, she's with DH and a bottle, and DH is super happy to get to "nurse" her once a day. Also I'm only gone for 2 hours. I don't consider this not attachment parenting....

We had a great sleep breakthrough last night! We lit the fire for the first time this season. We have wood heat do the house was pretty cool at night previously. Both kids STTN!!! Well, I call the baby STTN even though she woke to nurse every 2 hours because afterwards she went back to sleep easily! From 10-4 she sleep nursed every few hours and went right back to sleep. However at 4am the grunting started again but it was much more mild than usual. DD1 had no nightwaking. She slept from 10-9. Perhaps it was all heat related? I thought the baby was warm enough before because she's in a footed sleeper, a swaddle, and cuddled right next to me under my arm but I think maybe it wasn't enough? I'll see tonight...

[MamanFrancaise]

nuku - no, no, no. No nerve touched here. Honestly. I am often a little jealous of those who feel comfortable going shopping, to a movie, to the gym or whatever. It's most likely the the anxiety that prevents me from leaving anyway.

[judybean]

nukuspot -- I'm sorry if it sounded like I was saying you weren't an attached parent.  That's not it at all.  We just don't do bottles.  And while I have what I think it important to me, I can't deny that there's a bit of jealousy too!  I'm really happy for you for feeling good and knowing what you have to do to be a happy mama.  Happy mama = happy baby.

I should also say that my trips to the gym (pre Baby Five anyway), were always short.  We just have too much in our day for me to take too much time.  So... I've never taken longer than an hour... *maaaaaaaybe* 90 minutes, but that's only because I was going slow or chatting.  We have just a little gym here that's really just about 6-7 blocks from our house.  So, it's close, it's little, and I just don't take much time.  Last night I was thinking about this and thought maybe I'd try to dig out my old 30 Day Shred video from Jillian Michaels.  About two years ago I decided I needed to move my body (after being quite sedentary much of my life) and got the video and it was like a gateway drug ;)  I moved, I felt better, and in seeing my improvement (going from hardly being able to do *one* pushup to a lot in the given time), I felt I could do anything... so I decided to take up running, etc.  The video is short and I'd still be in the house.  I'll see if I can find my two little handweights as well.  I'm nervous a bit because while I did a bit of running at the end of pregnancy, I'm totally worried about any core work (aka, how weak things will be!)!  Eh... have to start somewhere I guess.

Sorry about those dealing with persistent and seemingly unending grunting at night.  Leo seems to get his gruntiness out of the way in the evenings for the most part.  But... those evenings are pretty much full of all. boobie. all. evening.  Not so much problematic, but it's hard when I'm trying to get four other kids ready for bed (which is the hardest time of the day anyway!)!

Eye issues -- after birth, Leo's left eye was red and irritated for a bit, but it cleared up in no time and I'm *sooooooo* thankful for that!!  DD1 had a clogged duct that persisted and sometime after a year (maybe 18 months?) she had to have it surgically opened.  DD4 had BOTH tear ducts clogged for a long time, but thankfully they did clear up on their own, so no surgery or anything.  I was really hoping Leo wouldn't go that route, and luckily it's all clear!

I was supposed to go to the dentist yesterday but I couldn't do it.  For whatever reason, the thought of leaving Leo for who knows how long made me almost panic.  (okay, I'll admit too, I hate the dentist.  I even have it marked in my charts that I'm a "nervous patient" since once even just a teeth cleaning made me cry the whole time... I'm better now a bit, but I still don't *like* it).  So... maybe in another month.  Maybe.

At night when nursing and getting Leo to sleep, I've been still reading A Game of Thrones.  It's amazing!  Though I feel like I've been reading and reading and reading and I'm still just over halfway through!!  (maybe 5/8 through?).  I'm glad to have it.

I feel like I'm totally slacking on so much with Leo.  Even with dd4, I was taking So Many Pictures of her, staging great shots, and generally keeping up on that better.  With Leo... I've only taken pictures with my cell phone.  I only just yesterday busted out the nice camera to charge the battery (and was thankful I could even find the charger).  He's already a month old.  Oh... and I didn't get any birth photos either.  Things happened so fast once they were moving that I never called up my friend... so there's *another* thing I don't have.  I really, really, really want to get formal family portraits done (um, we've *never* had them done?!!!), but they're so expensive.  Maybe with the tax refund... that would put Leo around six months old too and that's kind of a fun age for some pictures too I think.

I guess it's mostly a feeling of just scraping by and doing the bare minimum.  We've kept up with homeschooling, and the baby gets fed.  I guess everybody else gets fed, but it's not ideal food far too often :/  And I've been just keeping up on dishes and laundry.  But other cleaning?  Not so much.  Meal prep?  Ugh.  And by not getting to the not-so-fun-stuff (like cleaning), I don't feel like I can get to the fun stuff (like sewing).

My solution for now is to get a coffee.  A latte, even.  So... that's what I'm going to go do.

[judybean]

Originally Posted by MamanFrancaise 

nuku - no, no, no. No nerve touched here. Honestly. I am often a little jealous of those who feel comfortable going shopping, to a movie, to the gym or whatever. It's most likely the the anxiety that prevents me from leaving anyway.

MamanFrancaise said it better than I did.  I don't think of myself as an anxious person, but.... in some ways I am.  I have left ds with dh for no longer than 15 minutes and I feel incredibly guilty and anxious when I do so. 

[nukuspot]

Thanks for clarifying, both of you! I feel better now. Judy, we have no birth pics either (too fast, the midwives barely got there in time) and we only have cell phone pics too. I do feel guilty, bit I think cell phones can take done good pictures. Kind of subpar from a real camera, true, but it's not like we don't have any pics! Having 2 kids is challenging enough, I can't imagine those of you that have more!!!

[nukuspot]

Ps its priceless to hear DH refer to giving the baby a bottle as "my turn to nurse the baby.". He even uses the Boppy and everything

But all that great DH cred and still noooo way I'm going to "take one for the team" either. Lol, definitely no DTD here.

[Monkey Keeper]

Originally Posted by nukuspot 

I feel like I touched a collective nerve about my excitement regarding my gym trip. I was not trying to brag or make anyone feel bad about not going! The gym is super important to me for my mental well being. I had to cancel my membership when u was pregnant because I was so sick with HG. Being able to start going again is one of the most exciting things to me right now. I have a history of body image issues and while my body is so far from perfect, at least working out makes me feel better mentally, and I can be a better mama when I feel happy about myself.

THIS is exactly what I said in my post. We all define what works for us, and for each of us that is different. Mine has been different with every kid in terms of when I was comfortable leaving them. Or for how long. It's hard to find your equilibrium as a mom, and if you do then work it, sister!

That is absolutely adorable about your DH "nursing" the baby.

Speaking of which, I heard my DH say, "Go show Mommy!"  Into the living room trucks my 2yo DS with a stuffed Mickey Mouse. He sits down on the floor, lifts up his t-shirt and puts Mickey's mouth on his belly.  "I feed Mickey food!" LOL!  You'd think he'd be trying to nurse, not nursing his dolls, since he just weaned not that long ago. But no. 

[AnyaRose]

Hey guys! It's been a while since I'm posted too... though almost every time I nurse I check for updates. (: I'm definitely still up for staying in touch!!!

I have an embarrassing thing to admit to you guys... I've always been so surprised that you ladies were similar in mindset with me in terms of CD, Co sleeping, breast feeding, natural birth, etc... I thought I was pretty lucky to run into you all. With this new layout of MDC...... I saw that this is a NATURAL PARENTING WEBSITE!!! hahaha, I've never felt sillier. Ah well, so that's why you guys are so CRUNCHY! But hey, it was good not knowing that you guys were "weird" too, because it made me feel like I wasn't so weird in the USA. haha. (:

Worldshakerz, I'm sorry you're been feeling so down lately... I had a few days like that too. I hope you can figure out the reason why soon, or at least find a way out of it. Sometimes you just need to feel down for a bit to feel happier again. 

MonkeyKeeper, 25oz?! Way to go! I thought I had a lot of milk, but that's awesome that you've found a good donation centre. Are you using something local? Your son sounds so cute trying to "nurse". ^^

Judybean, sounds like some frustrating nights. I am still blown away by people who have "tons" of kids (more than two, I'm a FTM, okay?). I know lots of people do it in life, but it's still pretty amazing to me. 

WCM, ooh, good luck going back to work! I hear you about the buckets under the boobs part... haha I never thought that would be the most bothersome part of being a new mom.

Jend- sleeping and feeding sound so frustrating with a baby that has tummy issues. Nico threw up for the first time this morning and it was so sad to see him so shocked it came out that way!

Carlin, dah! Feel better soon. Being sick is such a bummer...

Nukuspot, congrats on getting out!! I'm so glad you got a little refreshing time. (:

MamanF, yay for chunky babies!!! We're getting the same amount of sleep here, but that blows my mind that he's so big!!! Nico barely fits into newborn clothes still at 3 weeks. aurg. On another note, get those pictures!!! haha, the photographer in me is cringing. (; (playfully said)

Crystal, head bobbing into the boob, definitely Nico does this too. He seems to have a love hate relationship with eating sometimes... he also does it when he's trying to go to the bathroom and doesn't know which to focus on. lol!

MissE, I'm so glad to hear from you! I know I'm not one to talk, but I've wondered how you were doing. I'm sorry to hear it's been frustrating. I'm hope it will calm down for you guys soon. 

MadiMamacita, I love the wrap too... ^^ Maybe I'll attempt it... hmmmmmmmm... As for the bottles question, I think it might be true. Nico seems to be that way anyhow. And congrats on your surprising news about the mat leave! That's awesome. How lucky!

Sorry if I missed anyone!

AFM, been feeling great! I thought for sure I would want to nest and stay in one place for a long time with Nico, but I guess the instinct isnt in my blood. I'm ready to travel with my baby and show him everything! haha. Bleeding has almost stopped (3 weeks PP) so that's nice. I only went through one box of pads! Crazy. Nico's not getting bottle feed by anyone, so I stopped pumping. Not my thing, I guess. I just got a long term job oppertunity that will allow me to work from home, so that's awesome. It will relocate me to manhattan again, so I've got a ton of mixed emotions on being so close to Nico's dad in prox... though, I know I won't like, run into him or something. It's a big place. Babywearing is basically unheard of here in Ohio I guess, because EVERY TIME I go out, everyone asks me what I've "got him in". lol. They are nice and interested though- it's not mean. I'm using a "sleepy wrap" which is basically like a moby, and it's great for now, but when he starts moving around more I can easily see it getting loosen quickly. What's a good wrap for head supporting babies? Also when can you put them on your back? What wrap is good for that? Breast feeding is great here. I side lay almost all the time because it frees up both my hands and nico isn't choking on my forceful letdown. He's a loud eater... and a VERY loud diaper dirtier. haha. He's still having like, 8 dirty diapers a day! Whaaaaat?! lol. Oh well. As for sleep, he easily does 10 hours a night, with one 30 minute quiet snack and back-to-sleep mixed in. He's so cute, since we co sleep, he never fusses at night... so when he wakes for that snack he just nudges over and bobs his head against me until I wake up. lol! Adorable. He's a great kid. 

[Carlin]

We had our 4 week appointment yesterday and Ember is up to 9 lbs 10 oz. She's 1 month old today, and I can't believe how fast the time has flown by. 

My only concern right now is that poor little Ember has caught the cold her sister and I have. I hate listening to her cough and trying to judge whether or not I should take her in to get checked out or if I'm just overly anxious.

AnyaRose You need a woven wrap. :) It'll give you way more support and is safe for back carries (a stretchy wrap should never be used for back carries.) With a woven wrap, you can safely put Nico on your back at any point. Google "Newborn high back carry" for videos on how to do it. 

Getting stuff done - I'm keeping up with laundry and dishes, and that's about it. I try to keep the house from total disaster but I'm not doing great at it, and we are all getting fed, but not as well as I'd like. I refuse to feel guilty about it though. I think we all deserve a pass in these first few months!

[ascher21]

Let's see...

Evi--I totally understand the grunting noises in the night and them being totally annoying. I love my LO, but last night he was vocal ALL night. He probably slept no more than 20 minutes at a time and this inconsolable crying began around 8:00pm. I feel so bad for DH, because all he gets when he gets home from work is cranky Benji. And inevitably I have to take him back from DH to nurse, which he basically did all night last night until he puked it up (because he was nursing for comfort and I know he ate more than his stomach could handle).

nuku--I wish DH could nurse my LO! That's so sweet.

AFM-- Again, just exhausted from the full on crying session of last night/all night and this morning. We tried the swing, we tried a swaddle, we tried the moby we tried nursing, we tried the side carry, I did infant massage...everything. I guess he finally just got too tired to cry so much. And by the time we went to the pediatrician he was the sweetest thing, like nothing had happened. He even smiled at the doctor. He is up 3 lbs since birth! Yay!

So Flat head was mentioned today at the appointment, which has me rather frustrated because I've been doing everything to avoid this. Baby lays in a rock n' play for three hours at most, we wear him all the time, I switch sides when I nurse, and we hold him ALL THE TIME, and still the doctor noticed a very subtle flatness on one side of his head. I'm so upset. The only thing I haven't been doing a lot of is tummy time. DH did point out that he was born face up, with his head slightly to that side, so perhaps a part of my pelvic bone is really the culprit. I just hope this goes away. It's just worse when you've been aware of it, are doing everything, and still it shows up. Like having a posterior baby when I made sure I didn't lean back my entire pregnancy.

[judybean]

I'll try to write a proper response when I have time.  But... instead, I think this picture sums up life.  DD4 is affectionately referred to as Hurricane Hazel.

She's quite pleased with her decorating.

This is a wall in the living room.  There is coordinating artwork in our hallway, on the dining room chairs (they're off-white... purchased BEFORE DD4 was born), the dining room table on top, on the bottom side of the table, on the floor UNDER the table... and of course the floor of my bedroom where she spilled nail polish....

Because clearly I don't have enough to do in my days anyway ;)

[MIrandaM]

Just a really quick fly by because it's almost 4am here and DS is finishing up his nursing sesh...

For my fellow 2-hour sleep stretches during the night mamas - only anecdotal so far but the three times I have put James in the sleep-sack we have had miracle 3.5-4 hour stretches of sleep!! He's never slept more that 2-3 (3 is generous and rare) hours without this thing. I put him in a longsleeve onesie and no pants, just the sack.

Had him weighed today, he's six weeks and has gained and grown substantially. No wonder my arms are sore and his clothes don't fit! I'm so pleased to show my well-meaning but irritating MIL that my milk *is* in fact enough for him.

We had two successful naps inside in the ring sling today! Very previous attempt in the RS has been a scream fest. And I didn't have to pace and bounce nonstop. Things are looking up!!

Sorry to hear about all of the colds!

Hurricane Hazel! Lol

Can't wait for the FB group!

[nukuspot]

Lol, Hurricane Hazel!  We call my DD1 "Thunder Feet."

PS...Sleepsacks are great, but they increase the grunting here!  Swaddle is the only thing that makes it less, but not totally gone.  Whew, they are all so different, but most seem to have this grunting thing going on!  I wonder when it ends?  I remember DD1 doing it, but I cannot remember when it ends.  I only remember that she STTN for the first time at 5mo.  (Then not again till 2 y/o, LOL.)

[hyde]

Fly-by to link to a beautiful post on the six week growth spurt- just what I needed to read today*, thought I'd pass it along: http://nurshable.com/2012/05/27/six-week-growth-spurt/

I am definitely interested in keeping up with the group but I'm not on Facebook. :/ Hoping there will still be some activity on this page- I know they can keep these groups open indefinitely now.

*MIL is a total hypochondriac and is projecting that on the baby (and my breasts..). So tiring. One week left.

[Jend1002]

Judybean- oh no! Quite an artist you have there. She looks quite pleased with her work too! I hope you were able to get that off fairly easily. I am a fan of Magic Erasers for such things. Have you tried them?

Ascher- big hug to you. I am right there with you in the world of utter exhaustion. DS used to give us the first 2 hours of the night when he'd sleep but this week he has starting his crazy loud grunting and fussing early in the evening. Nothing works except me sleeping with him on my chest. For naps now too! Ugh. This too shall pass, right? I'm having a hard time staying in the present right now!!!

I don't know how I feel about gripe water. I don't like to give baby anything but breast milk. Any thoughts on it?

And as for keeping the group going...I am somewhat active in Facebook but I don't want to lose anyone who is not on there!! These groups do live on now unlike the old ddc's I believe.

[Jend1002]

Oh- and for those that have already been there with other children, please tell me that I will not end up with a 2 year old sleeping on my chest? I am SO traumatized by DS 1's sleep issues and I keep thinking that I'll never get DS2 off of the top of me. I am completely ok with it now- its what he needs- but I am afraid that we won't be able to move past it. I have major sleep trauma! How do we move away from this when it's time?

[MamanFrancaise]

I'm fine with sticking around here, too. Don't want to lose anyone if we move to FB.

DD2 was the worst sleeper in.the.world. She didn't sleep through the night until she was nearly 2 years old. For every single nap and going to sleep at night I had to lay with her in bed and nurse and she had to have her hand in my hair. Every.single.time. I could not go anywhere. Ever.  And once she fell asleep, I had to sneak out of the room like a freakin' spy. And now she is 7 and sleeps a full 10 hrs a night. She has slept great since about 3 years old. It started to get better starting at about 18 months. At 2 she was in her own bed (for most of the night) and shortly after that she was an independent sleeper.

My point is, while going through it, I was frustrated and sleep deprived and miserable. But looking back now, it was a tiny blip in time and it was over so quickly. So yes, this too shall pass.