Weekly Chat October 22-28 - Page 4 « Back to Group Discussions

[Jend1002]

I'm not sure how groups work but I just sent a request to join. I think you can make a group "secret" too- not sure what that gets us in terms of privacy? I am loving confessions! Maman, I am not that crunchy either but I think that's already obvious by some of my choices. I would also not identify with "mainstream" you know?? I guess since I live in South Carolina, I seem pretty crunchy to those around me. Thankfully I work in an environmental field so my coworkers are much more like-minded!

Carlin- I know you are a baby carrier addict so I need your advice! I am failing at the Moby!! I got the wrap down in theory, I just can't get James IN it properly. He ends up down like I have him in a sling plus I just don't no what to do with legs. No video has helped! I am a wrap flunkie. I will also confess, Miranda, that I used a bjorn yesterday! I was so frustrated with the Moby and James was so fussy. Plus I has to do a project with DS1 for school. I needed hands free.

Also, I want an Ergo. Is the infant insert necessary? And to what age/weight if so? Since DS hates the car seat my dreams of running with him in a stroller are stalled. At least I could walk fast with the Ergo.

[Monkey Keeper]

Originally Posted by MadiMamacita 

can someone enlighten me on the woven wrap? i have always used a stretchy wrap but dh prefers back carries. he is from peru and they do back carries but i don't know where to get the type of carrier they use there.. it is a large woven square. i will try to find a pic:
turns out if you google "peruvian mother" you will see lots of examples!

I just did some searching on thebabywearer.com.  They're called "mantas". http://www.thebabywearer.com/forum/showthread.php?479406-How-to-use-a-traditional-peruvian-wrap....&p=5638683&viewfull=1#post5638683 This is a decent description of how to use them 

Woven wraps are similar in concept but are longer and narrower.

Oh yeah, and Madi, I messaged you on FB; check your others. I don't wanna post my real name here :) 

Edited by Monkey Keeper - 10/26/12 at 12:06pm

[judybean]

I sent friend requests to those who posted links. I'm pretty sure mine is http://www.facebook.com/judybean... My internet connection at home is being ridiculous and not working, so I'm just on my phone. (My real last name is Martinson if you're wanting to be sure you have the right profile!)

[judybean]

Clicked on my own link from my phone and the link above is correct

[MamanFrancaise]

Originally Posted by Jend1002 

Maman, I am not that crunchy either but I think that's already obvious by some of my choices. I would also not identify with "mainstream" you know?? 

I am the crunchiest person I know in real life. LOL I only know 2 other people who even nursed their babies. I would never call myself mainstream either. I suppose I'm a little crunchy... I don't vaccinate, I nursed until my kids self-weaned, I co-slept, used NFP.. ok maybe I am crunchy.

But I don't use CDs, don't cook everything from scratch, don't use natural home remedies, don't wear my babies (although I can see the appeal to that!)... 

I'm somewhere in the middle.

[MIrandaM]

Jend, now that DS is a bit bigger and better at holding up his head I am loving the Ergo.  You 'need' the insert until 12lbs and 3-4 months (good head control & ability to spread legs nice n wide).  I got the old style insert for $10 from my neighbor instead of buying the new one for $25 (I hate spending $$!!) . . . It's basically just a u-shaped blanket with a pillow around the edge that holds his head in a little bit.  If you sew at ALL you could easily make one, wish I'd known that.  Right now DS is 7 weeks and just over 12 lbs, so I use the insert with him tummy to tummy but his booty boosted with a rolled up blanket and his legs froggied.  Otherwise you can use the new insert tummy to tummy or the old insert in a cradle hold with both legs coming out one side.  My LO is too big for the cradle, it smooshes him and he just sweats so much and his legs are all squished together.  Long story short, you'll need the insert until your kid gets big enough to hold up his head but there are cheaper work-arounds.
 

[judybean]

My biggest area of uncrunchiness lately is food. We've eaten easy foods (aka, not whole foods) and eaten out mote in the last two months than I'd ever admit. It's embarrassing. I'm working on trying to remedy it.... eventually. My crunchy areas are in homebirth, no circ, no vaxing, breastfeeding (and extended nursing, homeschooling, cloth diapers, cloth mama pads, babywearing, natural skin care products, no doctor visits (except for emergencies)... so yeah, food is my biggest slacking off area. I'm also a terrible housekeeper, but I.don't think that has anything to do with crunchiness...

[nukuspot]

Interesting, I never really thought about crunchy vs not but for sure I fit into the crunchy criteria based on all the things you all mentioned here. I just always thought of my parenting style as AP vs non AP (formula, CIO, no baby wearing, etc.). But where I live most mamas I meet and are friends with are "crunchy". However I never considered vaxxing as a "crunchy criteria". I don't vax but most of my parent pals IRL do some sort of S/D schedule.

I'm totally a Moby hater. Hate it! I find the K'tan to be similar but much more user friendly. However I mainly just use it for naps indoors because of the same thing you mentioned, after awhile she falls down in it like a sling and I get paranoid about her breathing. Out and about I am 200% a Babyhawk wearer (it's a mei tai). And it's great until about 6 months then I switch to a Ergo. I think an Ergo with the infant insert would be pretty similar to the mei tai fit, just not sure about the head support part.

[judybean]

Most of my friends or even people I know are not crunchy or AP really. Just two friends fit into those groups. It makes the online aspect of community/support very important to me.

[Monkey Keeper]

I am sorta crunchy. I have some super-crunchy mom friends and then some super non-crunchy mom friends. I think the recent water birth (my first non-medicated) put me over the line to crunchy ;)  But I've always BF and baby worn. We selective/delay vax though we do nearly all of them and are current by age 2. And I used 'sposies with #1 and #2. I get more and more "crunchy" the more kids I have. And I supposed we've gotten more AP as well.  

I think most people have a mental picture of "crunchy" and I kind of giggle because though we do a lot of crunchy things, we're soooo upper middle class, overeducated, 'yuppies' and no one would guess that we're covert crunchy ;)

[teegan db]

I joined the fb group, but I'd love for this forum to stick around!

We're hitting a month around here - sleeping better, soothing more easily. And I forget who asked about it, but I, too, feel less "full" in the breasts these days. Thomas doesn't seem to mind, though - his eating habits haven't changed much. I've still got a spot that's uncomfortable "down there" - it's got me anxious about doing any strenuous exercise or dtd, and my midwife postponed our next appointment, so I don't know when I'll get a chance to ask her. It's frustrating - I had so little pain there after the birth, no major tears or anything, so I hate that the one little spot doesn't seem to be going away (nor does it feel or seem to be infected or anything. Just... not healing). I've been walking farther and farther every day, and I'll start yoga soon, but no more than that. 

Finally getting the hang of being mama to a baby. This week we had a few firsts - first big grocery store trip, first breakfast out with friends without Dad helping, first trip to the library. All went well, for the most part. And I've got some proofreading work for this weekend - yay, work! i.e. thinking about non-baby stuff AND a paycheck at the end!

(By the way, if any of you know anyone who needs proofreading - or transcription work for PhD candidates - work, I'm trying to break into it! I've done a little for the Massachusetts Music Educators Association so far, but I'd love to do more with my neglected little English degree!)

I don't really know any crunchy moms near me, but my SIL was/is super AP - coslept past three, no vaccinations at all, hardly ever put my niece down or let anyone else hold her, 100% organic everything. I've a friend who's mostly crunchy who lives on the west coast. 

We're mostly crunchy here, though I think of it more as frugal - thrift stores, homemade food, homebrewed beer & mead, prefolds - or taking the easy way - breastfeeding (I LOVE not having to do anything but pop out a boob when he starts fussing at three in the mornings), babywearing (90% of the time, far easier than lugging around/navigating a stroller or trying to get housework done without a baby happily snuggled to my chest). 

[Princessjules]

Originally Posted by MamanFrancaise 

My name isn't really Maman Francaise either. 

I've added everyone as friends. For anyone who want to add me: http://www.facebook.com/erika.meadows.988

My confession? I am not nearly as crunchy as most of you. LOL The extent of my crunchiness is that I breastfeed and have homebirths. Other than that, I am probably the opposite of crunchy and you will find that out if you friend me on FB. LOL PLease don't judge me. 

As I recall you are also not a fan of CIO right? I think that is also a *crunchy mama* thing... I don't see myself as super crunchy either but I try to be as crunchy as DH's income will allow... I am slowly working on it though... lol No judgement on here

Madi - That is such a neat pic!

My only confession is that Princess Jules/ Jules (pronounced like jewels) has been a nickname for me since I was like 8.. My actual name is Julia but when I played sports a one syllable name was easier to say quickly on the court than a two syllable name...

I'm also good with FB and staying on here, I certainly don't want to loose touch with any non-FBers either! For anyone who wants to add  me though,  here is mine

http://www.facebook.com/julia.deakyne

[Carlin]

Jend - I have to admit, I'm not a big fan of the Moby, or any stretchy wrap, for that matter. I think they are saggy and hard to really wrap correctly with, and even with the best wrap job, you can't wear them for very long before they feel saggy. Having said that, here's my attempt at trouble shooting: (assuming you are doing a pocket carry - wrap starts centered behind your back, one tail goes over each shoulder, crosses in front, then finishes with a horizontal pass that you pull up over baby) First, wrap way more snuggly than you think you have to, and make sure your tension is pretty even, the crosses should be spread out and flat across your back, not bunched up. When you put baby in the wrap, make sure they are sitting securely on the cross passes and you've spread the passes all the way from knee to knee so baby is in sort of a froggy position with their knees at least as high as their bum. My other advice would be to move on to a woven wrap. lol. Actually, in all seriousness, if you can find a good babywearing group in your area, go to one of their meetings, try out a bunch of different carries and kinds of carriers and find something that works for you! 

MMC - the woven wraps you usually see here work somewhat differently than the South American versions. I've tried a Tsute (I'm pretty sure that it's the Guatemalan version of what you've posted) a few times, and I find them challenging. I suspect there are some tricks to using them that I just haven't figured out. The ones I use are rectangular rather than square, and quite a bit longer - generally 3.5m to 4.6m although shorter or longer are handy too for certain carries. I think woven wraps, mei teis and SSCs are the best options for back carries, and if your husband is comfortable with traditional Peruvian wrapping, he should have no trouble using the kind that are available here as well.

Crunchiness - well. We try. We co-sleep, babywear, extended breastfeed, and try to parent gently, are anti-circ, delay/selectively vacc. We really need to get back to green/clean eating but I'm giving myself a pass on some of that until we are settled into a bit of a routine and I can put more effort into cooking again. So yeah, somewhat crunchy, but we could definitely do better.

[Princessjules]

Originally Posted by judybean 

My biggest area of uncrunchiness lately is food. We've eaten easy foods (aka, not whole foods) and eaten out mote in the last two months than I'd ever admit. It's embarrassing. I'm working on trying to remedy it.... eventually. My crunchy areas are in homebirth, no circ, no vaxing, breastfeeding (and extended nursing, homeschooling, cloth diapers, cloth mama pads, babywearing, natural skin care products, no doctor visits (except for emergencies)... so yeah, food is my biggest slacking off area. I'm also a terrible housekeeper, but I.don't think that has anything to do with crunchiness...

I have wanted to do clothe mama pads for a while but I have only had one period since December 10 so I haven't had much of an opportunity to look into them... I assume you make your own since you are so crafty? Are they easy to make? I have seen some for sale at whole foods but they seem pretty expensive...

Oh as far as natural skin care products go... I have been battling acne since I was a teen and during pg it gets worse and have tried EVERYTHING!! The only thing that worked consistently was Proactive but all those chemicals!! Anyway I found that coconut oil as a moisturizer works really well at keeping my skin clear and moisturized.. I am in love with coconut oil but we just can't afford to cook with it yet.. another crunchy thing I am working on lol

[Flower of Bliss]

Loving the confessions thread here.  My confession is that after very very minimal research, I bought a Boba from amazon that arrived today.  When DD1 was a baby/toddler, I was very active in our local babywearing group, and very familiar with all of the options.  I have a collection of carriers.  I have both a gauze wrap and a mei tai, but I'm just really not a fan of all of the length (I'm only 4ft10in), and I find them to be a hassle for frequent in and out.  I love pouches for the first few months (yes, I'm very careful about fit/position), but DD3 has been standing up in ours plenty, and I thought she'd be happier in a more upright carrier.  I have a 3rd generation Beco, that we've used to death in the last 5 years.  DH wears DD2 (3yrs) in it on our daily evening walks.  I wanted a nice new SSC that I knew was designed for newborns and that I could keep set for me and DD3.  I sure hope we love it.  I got the tweet pattern   DD3 has been asleep in the pouch since it arrived, so I haven't tried it on yet.

Crunchy:  I'm pretty crunchy in general.  I've had two homebirths, I did a week of placenta smoothies and now I'm taking encapsulated placenta pills daily, I cloth diapered all 3 from birth, breastfed past 2 years, I've never used bottles or pacifiers, delayed/baby led solids, cosleeping, no CIO, baby wearing, no-vax, home schooling, etc.  My house is full of beautiful wooden Waldorf toys, and DD1 recently told DH and I what Barbies were, as she didn't think we knew about them. However, as I've grown as a mother, I've really internalized that every parent is really doing what they feel like is the best way to balance the needs of every person in their family.  I baby wear because it's easier to live my life, care for my older kids, do housework, run errands, etc and still meet the needs of my baby.  Lugging a big awkward car seat sounds like a HUGE hassle to me.  My babies are light and easy to keep on my body, and much happier against me. I don't do it because it's AP or crunchy, or whatever. I bought a new infant seat and coordinating stroller while I was pregnant so I had the option if it worked best for us this time around.  We used it for the first time this week when I went to the chiro (you sure can't babywear during an adjustment), and I was very glad to have it.  We're currently using a "green" housekeeping service bi-weekly.  I'm just keeping up with laundry and basic upkeep, and not perfectly. 

I have lots of goals, intentions, and values, but I fall short every day.  I yell at my children.  My big girls are so much like me.  Power struggles can get pretty ugly around here.  I feed them less than ideal foods.  I drink Starbucks coffee daily.  Yesterday we ate lunch from Starbucks at 3pm in the parked van while I nursed DD3 in the front seat.  They don't bathe as often as I'd like (and neither do I).  I only seem to manage to brush their teeth once a day.  We eat dinner and go to bed late, and lately it's been getting so late it's almost embarrassing.  DH is late to work so often I don't even want to think about it. Often one of my children is crying, two at a time is pretty common too, and all three is less rare than I'd like.  I do my best, and get up the next day and keep trying.  DH does too.  That's all any parent can do.  I forgive myself for it all, apologize to my girls, thank my DH for these amazing girls, and for his commitment to us, and kiss my children in their sleep.  I'm so not here to judge any of you for the decisions or mistakes you make.  This mommy gig is HARD.

I'm hoping this group continues.  I try to keep my FB to people I know in real life.  I may change my mind, or send some friend requests.  And my name isn't really Flower of Bliss either  

[AnyaRose]

Facebook- It's definitely a private group. Nobody sees anything we post except the people in the group (of whom are added immediately when invited). Nice and private! More private than this forum, actually. 

Crunchiness Levels/Confessions- This is hilarious to read all of your posts. I think only a few of you are like, 100% crunchy 100% of the time. *chuckles* I think whatever works for you is BEST. ^^ I have no clue if I'm crunchy or not, heck, I thought this was a basic forum, not a natural parenting one until this week... I forgot that this isn't what people usually are like in reference to parenting. haha. AFM, I will start CDing soon, breast feed from the boob all the time (Muuuuch more convient for me... I thought the majority did this until this past week!!!), no CIO, baby wearing (it's def more convient), natural birth, anti circ (I'm not like a protestor though, it just doesn't make sense to have an operation when it's not ness), no meds for mum or son (never had them growing up either), co sleeping... I guess that puts me as pretty crunchy. But heck, just because I wear dresses all the time doesn't ness mean I'm a hippie... It's just what's comfy! ^^ 

It's funny to me how many of these things are just natural instinct to me, then I find out they have a name like "crunchy". It's cute though. I forget some people aren't fans of "crunchy" people. It actually surprises me when people say they don't BF or they don't babywear. Not because I judge them, but because I forget that there is a large part of the USA that just...doesn't do that stuff. 

Originally Posted by judybean 

Most of my friends or even people I know are not crunchy or AP really. Just two friends fit into those groups. It makes the online aspect of community/support very important to me.

Ditto actually. Honestly, I don't know too many MOMS in general IRL other than my doula who I'm living with because I've done so much shifting around to develop any real friendships yet. So this forum has been a LIFE SAVER. Thanks guys. (: 

Babywearing- holllllly crap Carlin I started researching different holds and stuff... I got SO excited to try them all out. I think I spent all afternoon pulling nico in and out to see which ones we both liked. I had been doing just one simple one the whole time! Ah! My eyes have been opened.... I think I may get a little addicted too. (;  http://www.storchenwiege.com/differentholds.htm

This was the first website I came across... it doesn't give much instruction at all, but it kind of blew my mind. hahaha. It's like an art. *laughs*

[MotoMom]

The boy slept eight solid hours last night!! I totally flipped out! Today was our six week checkup with the midwife (he's actually 7 weeks tomorrow) and things are looking pretty good, considering. I do have some prolapse issues going on - both rectocele and cystocele. No incontinence or anything, but pooing is a little bit trickier than it used to be. If I bear down, the pressure is kind of diverted into my vaginal wall. Lame, but not horrible. I guess I'll be trying Hab-it, and seeing if that helps. But I got the go-ahead to do some extra-curricular activities with DH, so I'm excited to see how (or if) everything still works. (Apparently he's not as excited as I am, seeing as how he's upstairs napping right now) 

Oh! Hank The Tank is officially 15 lbs at 7 weeks. He's a beast! I don't call it nursing anymore. It's "topping off The Tank." 

Jules - Costco! Massive tub of coconut oil for super cheap. If you don't have a membership, I bet you can find someone who does. It will last you forever. I use the stuff for everything!

Crunchiness - You know, I just sort of defaulted to "crunchiness" when it came to parenting choices because that's what made sense. I cloth diaper, not necessarily because I have ideals about environmental impact, but because I'm cheap. I do everything cheap. I'm so cheap, DH and I were able to pay off $30,000 of his credit card debt in our first year of marriage (once I got him on board with embracing the cheapness, of course). All of my motorcycles were bought for under $1500. Two of the cars I've owned, I paid $500 for. I am NOT about to spend that kind of money on something my son shits in and then gets piled up in a landfill somewhere. It makes no sense.

The first reason I never wanted to circumcise was because DH is intact and I was totally impressed with how much more functional and beautiful an intact penis is! After I saw the videos, I really took up the torch for penis rights. Now I just think it's barbaric.

I had a natural childbirth partially because I wanted to be able to say I did it and feel powerful. I thrive on challenges. Plus I have a lot of trauma when it comes to hospitals and my mom always raved about natural birth so I pretty much just grew up with that idea.

Nursing? I'm lazy. Duh. And I already told you about the cheap part. Who wouldn't want to nurse when it's ten times easier to flop out a boob than it is to deal with all of the bottle nonsense. 

A lot of the AP stuff just makes so much more sense than traditional parenting. Partly because my parents, bless their hearts, really screwed up with my brother's and my emotional well-being. We're wrecks. We have some very serious issues. I've adjusted well and spent a lot of time in counseling figuring out how to be okay, but I know he still struggles a lot. I want to respect my child because it's something I didn't get and I want to do better. There is a whole hell of a lot of research that backs me up on this. I don't blame my parents for my problems, because I know they did the best they knew how. But I know better and will raise a man who is aware and understanding of his emotions and who isn't ashamed of himself for feeling them.

Okay, and all of that being said, here's my confession : Miss Motorcycle-Riding, Tree-Killing Homebuilder Girl here, who grew up listening to punk rock and thrash metal, totally hung out bare-assed naked with about 20-something other people at Orvis Hot Springs singing Earth My Body in a sweat lodge last September and loved it. I'm just primal, okay? Not crunchy. Primal.    

Oh, God. But then I watch that youtube video "Shit Crunchy Mamas Say," and have a good laugh at myself.

[nukuspot]

Molly, your confession kills me with laughter...

[judybean]

One story I had wanted to share from yesterday..

The four girls headed to my mom's house to spend the night, leaving just Leo and I at home (dh was at work until 10pm), so I thought we would take a bath, since I've already taken him in the shower and he's loved it. I pulled some towels hot out of the dryer, filled the tub with warm water and some eucalyptus oil for his stuffy nose and lavender to help him sleep later. I made sure to lay out a clean diaper and cover and pajamas afterwards. Everything was ready, the water was just right, so I got in with him and he was quite happy.... and then he pooped. Lots and lots of yellow, seedy poop all over in the bath water!! I couldn't help but shake my head and laugh a bit... So much for our magical, special bath! LOL

[katt]

i wish i could type more then this blurb, but i'm one handed atm and need to go to bed.  

let's see... my fb: http://www.facebook.com/KattAguilo

babywearing:  love it! my 'shirt' these days over my glamourmom is a moby.  i save my sling for later, although i have used it.  haven't tried my MT, but I will.  my friend and I make carriers: http://www.facebook.com/KataraBaby

confessions: i've got 'em, but not enough time to post 'em  lol

w/ the moby i: fold in half lengthwise, put the middle at my navel, wrap both ends around , cross my back, up over my soulders (at this point i make sure everything is flat) tuck both ends through the front, cross again, wrao around to the back again and tie.  

w/ baby this young i lay him on my shoulder, froggie his legs, slide him in on the side that is on the 'inside' of the X.  spread the fabric on that side to cover both feet/legs/back/shoulder (i'm still not opening the fabric at this small), then pull the other part of the X across him as well.  i make sure he is snug, usually sitting on feet and in the middle of me, then i pull up one edge of the front portion up to his shoulders.

It is stretchy, i tie it on a bit snug, it will stretch.  :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kK-FrEaB8o&feature=related

wow - 1 she can tie in back after how many times it wrapped around her? and 2 i didn;t know about the 'pouch' portion of it.  hmmm... maybe if i did that baby's face youldn't get all sticky from laying on my chest all the time

Edited by katt - 10/27/12 at 1:21am