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My first grade son is getting in trouble at school and on the bus

post #1 of 2
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My son has started first grade and I keep getting calls home from the dean saying that my son did something wrong. Today I picked up my son from the bus stop and the bus driver came out to speak to me and said that he was hitting other kids. This seems to be happening over and over again. What should I do?
post #2 of 2

Our school has very strict rules against bulling and tons of consequences.

Also they gave each parent at the beginning of the year a copy of a guideliness as to

what is considering a bulling and what are the consequences.


Your school must have something like that. I would get a copy of it and sit with your child

one happy and peaceful afternoon and in loving and caring manner go over each and every

line and explain what it means.


As obvious as it might be to you, it might not be so obvious to him that there are very bad things that might happen to him if he will behave this way. It is somehow more powerful when it comes to a child from a paper that he knows came from school.


It is not to scare him as much as to raise awarness. Explain him that other children are very smart in that manner that they not only are nice and well behaved but also because they simply don't want to get in trouble.


Made up stories from some parents also suggest to tell that there is some big book of record that each of his bad deeds go to and stayst here fro life (not so much a lie).


Also, you might get to try to undrestand why is he acting like that and don't do it when you are angry at him just when he did something but do it way after things calm and on the day when he is not at school.. sunday will be an idea?


Just as him and try to undrestand what triggers his anger or why he tries to hurt other children. Is it because they call him names or provoke him as in.. do they do something first to him and does he do something bad back to them or is it his idea to hurt them because

he just feels like doing so and if so what is it htat he feels.


What is he trying to tell you by his actions?


It is not just a missbehaving. It never is. It is by my experience act of something..

Kids eaither react or act. If he is acting - seek why. If he is reacting do the same, try to find why.


Other children might make fun of him for some reasons unknown to you. Or he might be just

boared at school, or angry at kids for something they do or not do.. or the day might be too long for him, or he does not get enough sleep and he is taking it on other kids, or

he might be hungry because he is not eating his lunch or he has too long to go

without a snack after lunch?


Some kids do have major improvement when they get enough sleep and when

they get a snack between lunch and the end of the day. As weird as it sounds.


Also, do you send him to school happy in the morning, with hugs, smiles and

wishes of perfect day? One of my firends thought me the imporatance of it,

she always say, put little silly worries behind, be happy, each day is only one

send your kid to school relaxed and happy. Dont' preach, don't teach

in the morning but kiss, hug and say how much you love him and so on..

Point  to the birds, the sky, the leaves, the trees.. put his mind at ease..

make him look foward of going to school..


I know many people are not funs of rewards but I beg to differ..

for some kids it is the only way and not to overendulge them but to motivate

them and then it became a second nature and off the rewards can go..


I would help him to make a chart at home.. a table with days of the month

and I owuld buy a golden colored metalic stars at Staples or Office Depota

and would give him one in each category - moring bus without incidents - a star,

school day without incident - a star, afternoon bus without incident - a star..


collect all 30 or 50 or whatever.. buy yourself  a toy valued at 20 bucks at Toysrus.

your pick!


I am strong fan of the afternoon snack with sugar. I know I know.. but

still many kids are not so much diabetics but just hypoglycemics.. get very low sugar

around 1 or 2 pm.. and they really get irritable easily and act out without knwoing it..

my mom who is 78 will get like that and she still does not know why is she irritated

although we all figured it out long ago :)

what do you have to loose... give him a granola bar

or even a kitcat or sneackers to get to school and tell the teacher he needs some

snack because his sugar is down.. see once and see what happens?


My heart goes out to you and I know how difficult it is.

No matter how saddening it is to you, show him that you love him

becuase sometimes they act out because they don't feel loved?

even if you do love them dearly but they don't feel it.. sometimes

parents forget to show. and reassure.


P.S. Also for a while I would just change the routine, I would stop bussing and drive him to school if you have this option.

Or even walk him to school or whatever options you have.

Let him take a break from the bus. Maybe he needs it, maybe there is somehting there that he is apprehensive about and won't even tell you? see if that will improve.

There are things going on the busses with older kids or

younger kids that many parents do not share.. but the are sometimes upseting to some kids.

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