It does sound like the dr is being a little over zealous with the monitoring.
I know that for me privacy and modesty are really big issues in labor, and being able to relax is key to an easy labor, so having people around makes it harder for me. I think it does help us that one of DH's college buddies has had his last 2 unassisted, so he is planning on talking to him about it from the dad's perspective. And my best friend has had her last 2 unassisted and completely alone, and she'll be able to encourage DH on Skype if he needs it on the actual day. I'm not expecting us to need it, as I wouldn't be going unassisted if I though we would need help.
Birthjunkie.com has a list of recommended books for UC so I'll probably get a few of them, and I've got the pdf of the emergency childbirth manual already. (Just need to print that one, so we can read it.) I also have a copy of Spiritual Midwifery already and it has a section on basic midwifery skills. However I am also not trying to become my own midwife. For me it is more about just leaving the whole process alone and letting the baby tell me what they need.
It was such an incredible experience at DS2's birth when I was able to listen to my body tell me very clearly what to do to birth him with his nuchal arm. I've always felt very tuned into my body, even to the point of feeling myself ovulate most months. Having a baby is a continuation of being tuned in to my body, and to the baby.
I am planning to monitor my urine, weight and blood pressure, which I'll start as soon as I get the supplies. I'm also going to get a few herbs for after the birth to help reduce blood loss, as I bled quite a bit (but not over the HB limit) last time and I'd like to prevent that if possible.
Our back up plan for now is that we will find a care provider if at any point we feel the need for one. We also live less than 10 minutes from the biggest hospital in the area, that has a large maternity unit and high level NICU, so if we need help right at the end of labor, or immediately after we don't have far to go. We've also talked about taking a Neonatal resusitation class for just in case, if we can find one.
Here are a few of the websites I've found so far:
Melbourne Doula: Basic Instructions for a Quick or Unassisted Birth
Books To Help Prepare You For Pregnancy and Birth